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A Tale Told By An Idiot: The Peng Challenge Thread Drags on Its Way To Dusty Death


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Do we still do the Rules anymore? I can't remember the last time we had some halfwit sod in here that we needed to do the Rules for. Is anyone still playing the Game? I mean, in its new, sleek, pointless incarnation?

Thank the gods for the canon of games we already possess.

Ah, well. Time for a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury:

Welcome, dear friends!

To the Show that never ends!

Step inside, step inside...

We continue to occupy this place because we've made it too hideous for anyone else to want. No one wants to bring their motored-up, sexy discussions of the tarted-up weapons of Modern Combat in here. They're all busy telling each other lies about capabilities, and specs, and 'potential' combat.

Here, we return to a simpler time. This Thread is now as relevant as a discussion of the Thirty Years War. Remember that one?

Of course, it actually took place.

No, I imagine that the Peng Challenge Thread will be here until doomsday. You know, when George Lucas makes a Prequel to Combat Mission: Shockforce.

Until then, wipe your feet when you come in here, you're in our house now, eh? Don't talk about your fecking genitalia while you're wiping your feet, don't treat women badly, and we're pretty sure there's someplace else you should be, possibly court, possibly applying bleach to wherever it is you last left your DNA.

Try to say something witty...

Oh, what the hells' the point? Try to say something relevant. I don't give a dingo's todger if it's witty anymore.

Take your hands out of your pockets. And try and appear more subservient when I'm talking to you. Stand up straight. And say something witty.

What? I don't care what I said before. Say something witty or piss off.

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Seanachai! Where is my promised shrubbery?

Post Haste nave, fashion me a shrubbery this very morrow lest I smite thee with great anger and furious vengeance*

* yes I know I farkled that bit up. I did it on purpose so don't any smarty-pants noobies be trying to correct your old Unca Stukey eh?

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Originally posted by Stuka:

Seanachai! Where is my promised shrubbery?

Post Haste nave, fashion me a shrubbery this very morrow lest I smite thee with great anger and furious vengeance*

* yes I know I farkled that bit up. I did it on purpose so don't any smarty-pants noobies be trying to correct your old Unca Stukey eh?

You know, Stuka, that no one finds you more abhorrent and vile than I do. Aren't you living in Dubai, or some ridiculous place of money and stupidity? Can't you just ask your Arab Masters for a freaking shrubbery? Something they could put on top of a re-creation of the Colossus of Rhodes, or Stohehenge done in ice, or somthing?

But I'm not sure we should be here. I missed the fact that Elvis had started us up again.

Not in a very good way. Awful title. Usual first post. I mean, letting his incarnation die is like exposing a twisted and crippled child born to slaves die on a hillside somewhere.

And wasn't America trying to become more like Sparta?

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Originally posted by dalem:

None of you entertained me last night.

Not even the Australialanders.

I set a pretty low bar, and no one even bashed their ankles on it stumbling into a bonfire.

Quit yer whinging, you rotting pudding. Get up there and versify until the pain drives them into a frenzy of response.

Why are people like you always looking for a handout from the Olde Ones? I suppose you're going to go on and on about how your goddamn ancestors came to this country on the Mayflower, and how you blame the Peng Challenge Thread for the fact that no three-ply velvet has been gently dabbed over your backside after every ****e since then.

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Crippled slave chiuldren should die on hillsides...

isn't that the New World Order way?

Anyhoos, I'd prefer you fashion me a shrubbery Seanitchy old perve, your demeanour amuses me.

PS, I'm in Qatar right now but considering a move to Dubai (more bars there).

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Originally posted by Stuka:

Crippled slave chiuldren should die on hillsides...

isn't that the New World Order way?

Anyhoos, I'd prefer you fashion me a shrubbery Seanitchy old perve, your demeanour amuses me.

PS, I'm in Qatar right now but considering a move to Dubai (more bars there).

Hard to say if you're too bloody drunk to type & spell, or if you're simply being Australian.

Hahahahahaha! It was a trick thought, since it amounts to the same thing.

Follow the money, Stuka. If you're going to work for the bloody Arabs, then move towards the light. And by that, I mean 'Move towards the most Westernized incarnation.'

You go to work for the freaking Saudis, man, and you're out.

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Originally posted by Seanachai:

Follow the money, Stuka.

Damn straight baby!

It's the only way I can get you a ticket to the gulf so I can take you on a 4WD trip into the desert to check out the mysterious, secret 'paddling location' where I can slaughter you with a ball peen hammer and a cheese grater and leave your remains to mummify under a sandy dune for a wandering camel to one day take a dump on.

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Originally posted by Stuka:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Seanachai:

Follow the money, Stuka.

Damn straight baby!

It's the only way I can get you a ticket to the gulf so I can take you on a 4WD trip into the desert to check out the mysterious, secret 'paddling location' where I can slaughter you with a ball peen hammer and a cheese grater and leave your remains to mummify under a sandy dune for a wandering camel to one day take a dump on. </font>

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Abbot, the bus conversion is looking good. I couldn't see every shot (dial-up connection problems with loading photos thing). I'll check it out again at work this week. I'm going to send the link to the guy I'm working for. A right-wing nut-job contractor who would find what you're doing really interesting, I think.

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Originally posted by Stuka:

Nope, still free and single, until this friday that is!

And then what? You take on your third, or fourth 15 year old child bride bought from the neighbouring tribe?

You need to return to civilization, man. Or are there still too many outstanding warrants?

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Originally posted by Stuka:

Bah! I wave my hand at you.

The good Lady Stuka has seen the light and will asssume the title of 'Lady Baroness of Stuke'.

'Once more into the breach dear friends'

I can't believe that Rohypnol stays in the system long enough for you to turn it into a marriage.

What, do you keep dosing her every time she starts to look horrified and ask who you are, and where her family is?

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Tonight? 27 degrees (Fahrenheit, -2 Celsius for you primitives).

Last year I was kayaking Lake Nokomis on April 19th. The weather is going to have to kick it in the arse if I'm going to get out there early this year. Still a lot of ice on the fecking lakes.

I'd like to gather up all the Aussies, and stick them here in town for a winter. It would begin the process of making men out of them...

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Originally posted by Seanachai:

Tonight? 27 degrees (Fahrenheit, -2 Celsius for you primitives).

Last year I was kayaking Lake Nokomis on April 19th. The weather is going to have to kick it in the arse if I'm going to get out there early this year. Still a lot of ice on the fecking lakes.

I'd like to gather up all the Aussies, and stick them here in town for a winter. It would begin the process of making men out of them...

And we would like you come on over in summer so we can watch you defecate yourself into a greasy pile of gnome poo. Cold is nothing, you can always chuck on more clothes. Surviving the Aussie Summer, that's real man's work.

Noba.

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Originally posted by Seanachai:

Tonight? 27 degrees (Fahrenheit, -2 Celsius for you primitives).

And at this moment, it is a balmy 47°F in lovely Port Townsend by the Sea. As soon as it gets just a few degrees warmer, I may send a few spare BTUs in the direction of you, my thermodynamically challenged friends.

Michael

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