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Fox Pee, Peng, and Other Personal Hygiene Challenges


Lars

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Originally posted by Mace:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Tagwyn:

What are the Euros going to do about the Muslim bandits in and around Paris? IS this the fault of the USA? Tag

What I want to know is what are the old ones going to do about spotty SSNs spouting political statements *crosses self repeatedly, with crayon* in and around the MBT.

Is this the fault of the Seanachai? </font>

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Originally posted by Aces_and_8's:

And here I was...imagining this thread had died along with the rest of you. Imagine my disappointment.

You're still alive? Wonders never cease, if you freaking well live long enough.

Aces, wouldn't you agree that not enough is being done to restrict computer and internet access for criminals like yourself?

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The blood of Arab civilians works better if you let it colagulate for a few minutes first. If you want a sample, I am sure you can get it from the floor of the Radisson hotel in Jordan...

You must be feeling better Seanachai. Was it the nurse? Or the enemas?

By the way, my wife and I are expecting another child, and at the ultrasound yesterday, she found out that is going to be a girl. I shall have to mail out some cigars in March to cesspool members.

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I AM ALIVE! AH-HAHAHAHAHAHA! I CAN BREATHE AGAIN!

No doubt that all sounds very mundane to you. But it's a bit different for someone who's spent the last 3...4 days barely able to draw a full breathe, or lie down to sleep. Especially if your father died of lung cancer, and your sister died of respiratory failure.

All the fun just simply fecking runs out through the arse when you're sitting in your desk chair, contemplating how you can catch a few hours sleep if you put a pillow on the desk so that you can lean forward in your chair and rest your head on the desk so that you can breathe...and then remember how your father, immediately before his death, strategized about how he could get through another night if he could use the hospital tray table to support his forehead while he slept, and not interfere with the tubes in his chest...

I'll tell you this, Ladies, Halfwits, and Boo Radley (who's checked in, lately, and shown a proper regard, so I'm quite pleased with him, thank you very much): Nothing terrifies my worthless little arse worse than not being able to breathe.

Years ago, I read a novel by Roger Zelazny titled "Lord of Light". And one of the lines from that novel has always stayed with me, to this day. It's: "None sing praises to breath. But 'Oh, to be without it!'"

I've been sick. Contemplating death.

And I've been contemplating all of you.

Death fills me with fear. I don't fear pain, but I fear not being able to breathe.

You lot make me grin.

Make me smile. Now.

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Originally posted by NG cavscout:

By the way, my wife and I are expecting another child, and at the ultrasound yesterday, she found out that is going to be a girl.

Congratulations! Kids are just great!

[ November 09, 2005, 10:20 PM: Message edited by: Abbott ]

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Originally posted by NG cavscout:

By the way, my wife and I are expecting another child, and at the ultrasound yesterday, she found out that is going to be a girl. I shall have to mail out some cigars in March to cesspool members.

I've seen your last girl child, and she was a darling.

Soibhan is a nice name. Also Anwyn. Very Celtic.

My sister who just died is Kathleen. Kathleen is a damn nice name, you know?

But you know, when it's a girl's name, it's something that should be left up to the wife and female relatives.

They understand this stuff.

Oh, and congratulations you half-wit bastard.

I really liked meeting you, that time I drove through Southern Wisconsin. When you get home, laddie, you've always got a place to crash when you get way-weird drunk with buddies, and then get thrown out by the wife, and then decide to drive the 300 miles to the Twin Cities, and then show up on my door-step, and me saying "Jesus Christ, NG Cavscout, you fecking stupid bastard, what are you doing here?!", and you reply 'Wow, Seanachai, I got way fecking drunk last night and now I'm back from the War and my wife thinks that I'm a complete bloody goddamn idjit (which I am), and she wants me to take a time out by going off to stay with some complete freaking lunatic from Minneapolis who believes that Dan Bern is the most honest of the musical artists...

Christ Almighty, I lost all context there.

But you know, Bucky, if you ever show up here, drunk, disorderly, and trying to come to grips with being thrown out by your wife...

Well, man. I'll have your arse arrested. Later, I'll come out and bail you out. Then I'll round up the Minnesota Miscreants, and we'll whip your arse up one side of the town and down the other.

You're on the couch, man. Go up and throw up on the floor. That's why it's hardwood.

Or somefink.

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Originally posted by dalem:

I strike Seanachai

about the face and the head

With a hot shovel

Thank you, Sensei.

NOW SHUT THE FECK UP AND GET ME A DRINK, YOU DAGO BASTARD!

None sing hymns to breathe —

But oh, to be without it...

Dalem, you lackluster pissant whore, get me a drink!

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An Ode to Disrupting Seanachai at the Sub-Atomic Level, or "Might As Well Go For A Soda"

Do you not know

O Seanachai

Your binding forces are transitory.

The Strong and the Electromagnetic,

Weigh more heavily

than the Weak and the Gravitic

at this scale

In my mind's eye

I see

Your Intermediate Vector Bosons

Losing their Charm

In my mind's ear

I hear

your gluons

Losing their Color

In my mind's mind

I contemplate

your electrons

Maintaining their charge

The resultant loss of attraction

within the structure of your nuclei

causes your particles to

- Surrender -

To electromagnatic propriety

and Like repels Like,

As it was intended in the Beginning.

And in my mind's mouth

a chortle rises

as Gravity finally has

Its Way

And the greasy morass of Formerly-Seanachai

spreads wide into a gleaming puddle.

Transitory were your binding forces

O Seanachai

Did you not know?

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Originally posted by Abbott:

...Whatever...

I like Abbott. He's a daft mother-fecker.

He's always willing to just jump out there and...BE.

I'm always after acknowledging those who simply ARE.

You either exist for me, or you don't. We could argue all winter about whether you should exist or not. But winter's come, and it's slaughter time.

Tell me you exist. Or put up with my vicious dismissal of why you don't exist.

Oh, look! Is that the time? Why isn't that C-word Dalem making me a drink?

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Radley! Fetch me a drink!

Fast up with it.

Man, what does a man have to do to get a drink around here?

It's so good to be able to breathe, again. It makes me happy.

Where's that bastard, Berli then, eh? Where's that Roaring Boy Peng?!

Bring me my peers, or I'll goddamn well piss on your heads.

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Originally posted by NG cavscout:

By the way, my wife and I are expecting another child, and at the ultrasound yesterday, she found out that is going to be a girl. I shall have to mail out some cigars in March to cesspool members.

w00t, congrats dude!

Daughters rule!!! \m/

I was going to ask who the father was, but I think that'd be cruel. <g>

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Originally posted by Seanachai:

snip

Bring me my peers, or I'll goddamn well piss on your heads.

Doesn't anyone qualifying as your "peer" already have piss on their heads?

And many thanks for the invitation to your burrow. Is it sized correctly for non-hobbits? I may have to take you up on that.

and an update on my daughter that you so rightly called darling, well, she is getting cuter every day. I would post a photo, but this is the cesspoool after all.....

I do like Anwyn, but we already have an Anna. Siobhan is a definite possibility, or it would be if I could pronounce it. We are kicking the name Gwendolyn or maybe Gueneviere (either way, we could call her Gwen) around right now. Speaking of the Celts, the wife sent me a carving of Cuchulain that I have on my locker.

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Originally posted by Mace:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by NG cavscout:

By the way, my wife and I are expecting another child, and at the ultrasound yesterday, she found out that is going to be a girl. I shall have to mail out some cigars in March to cesspool members.

w00t, congrats dude!

Daughters rule!!! \m/

</font>

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Mccormack and Richard Tauber, are singing by the bed

There’s a glass of punch below your feet and an angel at your head

There’s devils on each side of you with bottles in their hands

You need one more drop of poison and you’ll dream of foreign lands

When you pissed yourself in frankfurt and got syph down in Cologne

And you heard the rattling death trains as you lay there all alone

Frank Ryan brought you whiskey in a brothel in Madrid

And you decked some ****ing blackshirt who was cursing all the yids

At the sick bed of Cuchulainn we’ll kneel and say a prayer

And the ghosts are rattling at the door and the devil’s in the chair

And in the euston tavern you screamed it was your shout

But they wouldn’t give you service so you kicked the windows out

They took you out into the street and kicked you in the brains

So you walked back in through a bolted door and did it all again

At the sick bed of Cuchulainn we’ll kneel and say a prayer

And the ghosts are rattling at the door and the devil’s in the chair

You remember that foul evening when you heard the banshees howl

There was lousy drunken bastards singing billy is in the bowl

They took you up to midnight mass and left you in the lurch

So you dropped a button in the plate and spewed up in the church

Now you’ll sing a song of liberty for blacks and paks and jocks

And they’ll take you from this dump you’re in and stick you in a box

Then they’ll take you to Clough Prior and shove you in the ground

But you’ll stick your head back out and shout 'we’ll have another round'

At the graveside of Cuchulainn we’ll kneel around and pray

And God is in his heaven, and billy’s down by the bay

Sick Bed of Cuchulainn

-The Pogues

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Dear Seanachai,

I'm glad to hear you were sick. I am delighted that you thought you were going to die. And I am ecstatic to learn that it scared some of the piss out of you. Now you might kind of know what my first acid trip was like...and one or two more after that. And maybe, just maybe, it will make a better gnome out of you. Though I'm not holding my breath.

Do let us know if you require further innoculations, won't you?

XXXOOO

Michael

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Originally posted by Seanachai:

Radley! Fetch me a drink!

Hush, you mongrel! I'm on the phone with the Kansas City (Kansas) School board, trying to get you a job as a substitute science teacher.

You'll have to follow their curriculum PRECISELY, but you're an old pro. I'm sure you would have NO trouble working within the system.

See how much I'm looking out for you?

"Kansas, preparing young minds for the high tech jobs of 1652."

p.s. Congratulations, NG Cavscout! One can only hope that the young lass favors her dear sweet mother and has wisely decided to give the majority of your genetic offering a wide berth.

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Any of you losers have the original "Battle Mountain" scenario i sent out? Not the last one I sent, I need to make some changes, but lost the original scenario in an HD crash.

Rune

[ November 10, 2005, 08:18 AM: Message edited by: rune ]

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