MrSpkr Posted August 6, 2002 Share Posted August 6, 2002 Dear Kitty: Sigh. I tried to be concise, really I did. Rules pending. Until then, here's the abridged version: Sod off!Unfortunately, I once again overestimated the Outerboarders' comprehension, to wit: Mike the twit tittered: You don't challenge anyone, let along a woman with balls and a legend in his own lunchtime!!and Little Terry piping in: In the meantime, fancy a Jolly Game of Combat Mission? It would be immensely convivial.Whatever is a kanigget to do? Yours -- Desperate in Dallas ================================== Dear Desperate: Indeed, times are difficult for us all. You have obviously made the mistake of presuming public school attendees (let's not infer graduation) could understand something as powerfully simple as the Peng Challenge. As Emily Post would say, Etiquette is important in all aspects of our lives. Etiquette, or just plain good manners, is important when posting in the Peng Challenge Thread. With this in mind let us begin with the following excerpts from Miss Peng's Manners, 4th Ed.. Yours, Abigail Van Peng ================================== RULES: </font>Can I just jump right into the Cesspool?</font>Don't just jump into the Cesspool and start rambling. Observe the conversation for a few years before joining in. Make sure you have something relevant to add. Or, you can always feel free to Sod Off!</font>Shall I Challenge the Group?</font>Not withstanding the continued practice of certain immature members of society to fling challenges to hither and yon, on all occasions, best taste exacts that in the Mutha Beautiful Thread a Challenge be directed towards an individual. In fact, it is impossible for a group challenege to be chic. A general challenge is always incorrect. In lieu of a general or group challenge, the proper form is to Sod off!</font>Shall I Challenge with Courtesy and Civility?</font>The Courteous or Civil challenge, made by a gentleman when he firsts posts to the CessPool, is usually the outcome of a poor public school education. The instinct of politely asking for a game of CM remains in a modified form through his life. The man who as a child came and politely made requests of his parents, his elders, and his peers, foolishly continues the habit when grown, and is wholly lacking in intellect. Individuals facing this handicap should be, and are, urged by polite society to Sod Off! </font>Well, then what is the proper form for a Peng Challenge?</font>In every form of Peng Challenge, as distinct from merely spewing ignorance, a Cesspooler sounds off like he has a pair. In a very formal Peng Challenge, he may discuss any questions he has about the opponent's lineage, intellect, and species. Essentially, the proper approach to a Peng Challenge involves vigor, venom, and of course the proper amount of bile. It involves subtle nuance rarely found amongst those members of society known as "Outerboarders", and it seldom may be developed with practice. The safest approach in such situations is to simply Sod Off! </font>Are there any limitations to a Peng Challenge?</font>For one person to talk ABOUT his pair is such a breach of civility that it is an unforgivable misdemeanor worthy only of rebuke. Nor without the gravest cause may a Challenge discuss one's genitals, racial heritage, religion, politics, or other unsociable stereotypes. Only PERSONAL attacks may be made upon another member of the Cesspool. </font>Isn't winning the most important thing around here?</font>The myths concerning the importance of winning have achieved alarming heights amongst the Outerboarders. The truth is, one should play for the sake of taunting rather than to win. Never stop in the middle of a match and complain of a real life or other problems, especially if you are losing. Unless it is literally impossible for you to go on, you must stick it out. Or, you can feel free to simply Sod Off! </font>What other requirements exist for posting in the One True Thread?</font>One must have a visible email and location in one's BFC profile. Initially, posting or challenging without these identifying marks is likely to result in one's being politely reminded of the deficiency by the Justicar. Ongoing violations may result in Coventry, or simply being ignored until the issue is rectified. As of late, an issue as to whether a lady should be required to post her email address and location has been raised, but not addressed by the Olde Ones. Pending any change in the rules, a lady is under the same obligations as a gentleman. A lady concerned for her security should consider a Yahoo or other generic web-based email account. Of course, anyone not wishing to meet these requirements should feel free to Sod Off! </font>What consequences will I suffer if I fail to abide by these rules?</font>Although it is seldom discussed in polite society, the typical punishment for repeated or extreme violations of the rules is a one-way trip to Coventry for the offending party. </font>What is Coventry?</font>Coventry is a place of desolation and waste, much like Australia. Posters are sent to Coventry upon grave and repeated violations of the Cesspool Rules of Etiquette. It is a place whose denizens are to be totally ignored by all other members of the One True Thread. Sending one to Coventry is not only insulting to its victim but embarrassing to every witness. Happily it is practically unknown in the Cesspool, but has been necessary in certain extreme instances. Usually, the idiots simply Sod Off! first. [ August 06, 2002, 06:47 PM: Message edited by: MrSpkr ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Mike Posted August 6, 2002 Share Posted August 6, 2002 You don't challenge anyone, let along a woman with balls and a legend in his own lunchtime!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terence Posted August 6, 2002 Share Posted August 6, 2002 Originally posted by MrSpkr: Rules pending. Until then, here's the abridged version: Sod off!Sodding off, sir. In the meantime, fancy a Jolly Game of Combat Mission? It would be immensely convivial. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lars Posted August 6, 2002 Share Posted August 6, 2002 Originally posted by Persephone: How do we know if you really are a man? You could be a woman dressed up as a man. I think I've figured out the truth! Joe's a woman!!!!!!!And listing the Justicar's e-mail addy hasn't gotten him/her/it many dates, either. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted August 6, 2002 Share Posted August 6, 2002 Rules pending indeed MrSpkr ... and you a lawyer too. THIS is what comes of lax habits when starting a new MBT! We have Mock talking about, if not HIS, then someone else's ... we have Terrible Terry asking ever so nicely for a game of convivial CM ... and last MY FORMER SQUIRE disparaging my ability to get dates! He's right of course but still ... Joe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terence Posted August 6, 2002 Share Posted August 6, 2002 O **** (where is thy sting?). Was this the Peng Challenge Thread's latest incarnation? I thought it was something else entirely. Forget I said anything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Simon Elwen Posted August 6, 2002 Share Posted August 6, 2002 Originally posted by Terence: Forget I said anything.consider it done and Which parts of Sod and Off don't you understand Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalem Posted August 6, 2002 Share Posted August 6, 2002 Originally posted by Terence: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by MrSpkr: Rules pending. Until then, here's the abridged version: Sod off!Sodding off, sir. In the meantime, fancy a Jolly Game of Combat Mission? It would be immensely convivial.</font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalem Posted August 7, 2002 Share Posted August 7, 2002 Oh, and the end of the last thread seemed to involve a lot of yamemring about something called a "girl". What the heck is a "girl", anyway? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Speedbump Posted August 7, 2002 Share Posted August 7, 2002 Originally posted by dalem: Oh, and the end of the last thread seemed to involve a lot of yamemring about something called a "girl". What the heck is a "girl", anyway?My dear dalem, a girl is one of the most precious gifts a man can be given. Only those who work in network development or build plastic models, or huff paint from their $300 airbrush system would not know this...uh, dalem it just struck me...you work for a telecom and...ahem. Sorry, no more to see here, move along, nothing to see.... Speedbump Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terence Posted August 7, 2002 Share Posted August 7, 2002 Originally posted by dalem: Oh, and the end of the last thread seemed to involve a lot of yamemring about something called a "girl". What the heck is a "girl", anyway?Same basic configuration but different plumbing. They own more shoes than we do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
athkatla Posted August 7, 2002 Share Posted August 7, 2002 Is someone gonna stick the rules up in here, we'll get all sorts of riff raff posting soon!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
athkatla Posted August 7, 2002 Share Posted August 7, 2002 Originally posted by Mike: You don't challenge anyone, let along a woman with balls and a legend in his own lunchtime!!Hey dimwit, yes you, are you lost on these boards, don't you know how to get off, you dipstick..........send me a fecking turn! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted August 7, 2002 Share Posted August 7, 2002 Originally posted by Terence: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by dalem: Oh, and the end of the last thread seemed to involve a lot of yamemring about something called a "girl". What the heck is a "girl", anyway?Same basic configuration but different plumbing. They own more shoes than we do.</font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaylord Focker Posted August 7, 2002 Share Posted August 7, 2002 This madness needs to stop, the MBT is starting to look like an N'sync fanclub message board. Joe Shaw i hope you can find away to smack some sense into these love sick Roxy groupies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFCElvis Posted August 7, 2002 Share Posted August 7, 2002 Wankers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrSpkr Posted August 7, 2002 Author Share Posted August 7, 2002 STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP! Dratted cockroaches. I take short break and all this vermin wanders in. Bloody Outerboard nitwits. Read the rules, you Nongs. Then Sod off! Steve Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patchy Posted August 7, 2002 Share Posted August 7, 2002 Originally posted by dalem: Oh, and the end of the last thread seemed to involve a lot of yamemring about something called a "girl". What the heck is a "girl", anyway?Dalem, you need to get out of your house more often. Persephone Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moriarty Posted August 7, 2002 Share Posted August 7, 2002 Point of order: Desolation and waste = Texas. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patchy Posted August 7, 2002 Share Posted August 7, 2002 Originally posted by Gaylord Focker: This madness needs to stop, the MBT is starting to look like an N'sync fanclub message board. Joe Shaw i hope you can find away to smack some sense into these love sick Roxy groupies.Joe, I hope you can find a way to smack some sense into Gaylove F*cker. Persephone Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaylord Focker Posted August 7, 2002 Share Posted August 7, 2002 I disagree Perephone , the more time dalem spends away from civilized society the better,...for civilized society. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaylord Focker Posted August 7, 2002 Share Posted August 7, 2002 Originally posted by Persephone: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Gaylord Focker: This madness needs to stop, the MBT is starting to look like an N'sync fanclub message board. Joe Shaw i hope you can find away to smack some sense into these love sick Roxy groupies.Joe, I hope you can find a way to smack some sense into Gaylove F*cker. Persephone</font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted August 7, 2002 Share Posted August 7, 2002 {edited just because} [ August 06, 2002, 07:13 PM: Message edited by: Joe Shaw ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rleete Posted August 7, 2002 Share Posted August 7, 2002 Originally posted by athkatla: Is someone gonna stick the rules up in here, we'll get all sorts of riff raff posting soon!! Case in point... [ August 06, 2002, 07:06 PM: Message edited by: R_Leete ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaylord Focker Posted August 7, 2002 Share Posted August 7, 2002 [confused] Who is Patch? [confused] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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