Joe Shaw Posted August 19, 2002 Share Posted August 19, 2002 Originally posted by Berlichtingen: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Roxy: Mike, Don't be so certain you've avoided poolboy duties. The Olde Ones may force us Ladies to accept you whether we like it or not. Remember, they like to kill poolboys. If they want you dead bad enough, you will be the poolboy.Wisdom if I ever saw it. Mike! Poolboy! Now!</font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Poobear Posted August 19, 2002 Share Posted August 19, 2002 Yawwwwn....sigh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalem Posted August 19, 2002 Share Posted August 19, 2002 Originally posted by Terence: ...various snaps, crackles, and pops... Well. I think the last couple of posts from the Outerboarder Formerly Known as Terence have shown at least the intelligence level and entertainment value of a fine breakfast cereal. Since that is far and away more than most of you pinch-faced lot can manage on your best days equipped with dictionaries and thesauri, I say the Doom of Coventry be removed from consideration. And whoever invented back pain needs to calmly eviscerate themselves now please. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patchy Posted August 19, 2002 Share Posted August 19, 2002 Originally posted by dalem: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Persephone: Dalem, would you like one of the Ladies to send over the poolboy to give you a massage? PersephoneIs he qualified?</font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leeo Posted August 19, 2002 Share Posted August 19, 2002 Originally posted by Persephone: Well, he is a poolboy, doesn't that qualify him? PersephoneIt qualifies him as boat anchor. Or fishing weight. Or cement overshoes. <small>{Edited: If I ever get my hands on the rat bastige that invented UBB, I'll lock him in a room with that Gaylord chap for a millenium or two.}</small> [ August 19, 2002, 02:14 PM: Message edited by: Leeo ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buzzsaw Posted August 19, 2002 Share Posted August 19, 2002 Originally posted by Terence: Lots of nonsense... In a rare moment of near lucidity this very Rune has decreed that Buzzsaw must soundly thrash me in a PBEM game, and teach me to taunt people. More nonsense... So Buzzsaw, bring it on. Savage my poor pixellated warriors. Your attentions most violent save me from far far worse a fate.Hmmm. Even the parts I left in are pretty much nonsense. Three active games and an impending vacation will keep me from starting our battle for two or three weeks. That's OK, because the task of teaching you to taunt is going to take far longer than my tactics demonstration. I am feeling even less inspired than usual, so I am going to direct you to George Orwell's thoughts on Politics and the English Language . You can object to a few of his points, but there is a lot of good advice. His warning about stale metaphors is particularly apropos, and should be heeded with special attention to Cesspool history. This pretty much rules out all scatological references – we have been beating that dead horse for quite some time. Orwell points out a circular cause-effect relationship between writing and thinking. This is very encouraging, because, if true, it means we might overcome your mollusk-level intelligence. More later, if I feel like it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nestor Posted August 19, 2002 Share Posted August 19, 2002 Originally posted by athkatla: Hmmm, methinks your looking for a good hiding laddie, and I'm just the one to give you it!! Send me a setup you snivelling fox fondler else its off to Highfields for you and no mistake!You shall have one Alkatheta. Any preferences on pitch size, kit colour and formation? If it’s alright with you we’ll play Fiona’s 1815 rules: · The French are there to be toyed with, not played with. · Everybody forms a group hug thingy at the first hint of a whinny from a nearby field. · No Yanks. · The Germans turn up late (turn 25, following the afternoon tea break). Highfields is for girls. The brave man ventures into Eyres Monsell after dark. They eat tyres up there! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
athkatla Posted August 19, 2002 Share Posted August 19, 2002 Originally posted by Nestor: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by athkatla: Hmmm, methinks your looking for a good hiding laddie, and I'm just the one to give you it!! Send me a setup you snivelling fox fondler else its off to Highfields for you and no mistake!You shall have one Alkatheta. Any preferences on pitch size, kit colour and formation? If it’s alright with you we’ll play Fiona’s 1815 rules: · The French are there to be toyed with, not played with. · Everybody forms a group hug thingy at the first hint of a whinny from a nearby field. · No Yanks. · The Germans turn up late (turn 25, following the afternoon tea break). Highfields is for girls. The brave man ventures into Eyres Monsell after dark. They eat tyres up there!</font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roxy Posted August 19, 2002 Share Posted August 19, 2002 Edited because it was a bad idea. You really can't blame a girl for trying though. It's difficult for newbies to learn the limits, perhaps even more difficult for Lady newbies. [ August 19, 2002, 07:24 PM: Message edited by: Roxy ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yeknodathon Posted August 19, 2002 Share Posted August 19, 2002 Originally posted by Buzzsaw: I am feeling even less inspired than usual, so I am going to direct you to George Orwell's thoughts on Politics and the English LanguageTwo legs bad, four legs good. And I notice yer got a limp. Yeknod Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Papa Khann Posted August 19, 2002 Share Posted August 19, 2002 Time for some gamey updates, brought to you courtesy of Panzer Armee Khann: Boo-Boo: Is there no end to the number of artillery shells this wretch has available? Honestly, if Boo had splurged and bought himself a clue as to how to handle Armor or Infantry, he just might have me worried. Nobutt: Is still whinning about how the AI had it in for him when it purchased our forces. Nobutt, your misery will be over soon. It would go quicker if you'd stop squirming. Joe: Appears to have forgotten that he owes me a turn. Again. Either that or he's in a snit over this Squire's refusal to brush and curry his pink jammy booties and shine up his bald spot. I shouldn't complain. If The Fiend Shaw defeats me in this one, that will make it three straight. What's wrong with this picture? dalem: We've only just began the latest debacle. After the can 'o whupass I opened up on him last time, it was slag heap's turn to choose both the scenario and the side he wanted to play. Naturally, the overripe banana has deprived me of my beloved Panzer Armee Khann, saddling me instead with pie-eating Amis. He also appears to have about 30 Veteran Stug III's, to my few Stuart light tanks. Did you whip this one up in the editor, slag heap? SomeNachos: Things have evened out a bit after SomeNachos initial flurry of body blows to my AFVs. Oh by the way, SomeNachos, that's MY hill. Kindly vacate the premises please, and in return I'll gladly stop converting your infantry into paste. Pantless Leader: Well, you asked for Belgian CM, Pantless. Now you got it. Try to find someplace with larger scenarios next time, o.k.? Something that starts on D-Day and represents the entire Allied landing force versus the entire German O.B. for the Western Front would be good. For the map, we could use a scale job of oh say, France. My gawd man, what were you thinking?. So are you going to send a turn, Pantless, or has your video card spontaneously burst into flames? Mike-You-Idiot: A dinkier scenario you couldn't find. Rather a relief after the behemoth Pantless and I have undertaken. We are playing "Peter's Pinch", in honor of Mike-You-Idiot's miniscule intellectual capacity. Papa Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yeknodathon Posted August 19, 2002 Share Posted August 19, 2002 Originally posted by Roxy: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Berlichtingen: Mike! Poolboy! Now!Well now, it is official then. You will also be required to help me keep the castles clean. This means you will have to muck Yeknod's paddock. It's certainly not a job for a Lady In Waiting. </font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lars Posted August 19, 2002 Share Posted August 19, 2002 Originally posted by Roxy: 2) Your posts should be replete with the following words: Please, thank you, excuse mePoor sod, either way, he's doomed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marlow Posted August 19, 2002 Share Posted August 19, 2002 Originally posted by Roxy: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Berlichtingen: Mike! Poolboy! Now!Well now, it is official then. Word has come down from the mountain. Mike, you are the poolboy. ... [an inaccurate statement followed by much presumptuous drivel]... There are several rules you must follow. You must live by these rules … [Roxy has delusion of grandeur]... 1) You may never address Knights, Squires, Serfs, or even SSNs. Your posts must be directed only to the Ladies. You are OUR poolboy. </font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalem Posted August 19, 2002 Share Posted August 19, 2002 Originally posted by Papa Khann: dalem: We've only just began the latest debacle. After the can 'o whupass I opened up on him last time, it was slag heap's turn to choose both the scenario and the side he wanted to play. Naturally, the overripe banana has deprived me of my beloved Panzer Armee Khann, saddling me instead with pie-eating Amis. He also appears to have about 30 Veteran Stug III's, to my few Stuart light tanks. Did you whip this one up in the editor, slag heap? "slag heap"???????????? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Mike Posted August 19, 2002 Share Posted August 19, 2002 Originally posted by Berlichtingen: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Roxy: Mike, Don't be so certain you've avoided poolboy duties. The Olde Ones may force us Ladies to accept you whether we like it or not. Remember, they like to kill poolboys. If they want you dead bad enough, you will be the poolboy.Wisdom if I ever saw it.</font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Papa Khann Posted August 19, 2002 Share Posted August 19, 2002 Originally posted by Mike: ...and what better way to get to mix and consume vast uantities...Mike-You-Idiot, exercise caution while mixing and consuming "Vast Uantities". I'm not sure any "Vast Uantities" would wish to be so used by you. In fact, isn't there a restraining order in place against you which requires you to stay at least 400 feet away from "Vast Uantities"? Papa Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lars Posted August 19, 2002 Share Posted August 19, 2002 Please, Marlow, It is entirely possible to issue a taunt to a open sore of a Neanderthal such as yourself while addressing your many, many shortcomings to the attention of the Ladies of the Pool and never lose the proper sense of decorum, thank you. Excuse me for having to point this out to you. Not saying that Mike could handle it, of course... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Papa Khann Posted August 19, 2002 Share Posted August 19, 2002 Originally posted by dalem: "slag heap"????????????Slag: the dross or scoria of a metal Dross: the scum that forms on the surface of molten metal Scoria: the refuse from melting of metals or reduction of ores Heap: a collection of things thrown one on another Hence we have dalem, a collection of scum and refuse thrown willy nilly about the place, but mostly upon itself, or, slag heap. Next question? Papa Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Mike Posted August 19, 2002 Share Posted August 19, 2002 Originally posted by Papa Khann: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Mike: ...and what better way to get to mix and consume vast uantities...Mike-You-Idiot, exercise caution while mixing and consuming "Vast Uantities". I'm not sure any "Vast Uantities" would wish to be so used by you. In fact, isn't there a restraining order in place against you which requires you to stay at least 400 feet away from "Vast Uantities"? </font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Mike Posted August 19, 2002 Share Posted August 19, 2002 Originally posted by Papa Khann: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by dalem: "slag heap"????????????Slag: the dross or scoria of a metal </font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roxy Posted August 19, 2002 Share Posted August 19, 2002 Knight Marlow, I'm merely trying to help the lad mend his ways for the benefit of The One True Thread. The "rules" are only for that purpose. If my Heroes prefer the status quo with Mike, then so be it. You can call him a poolboy all you want; but if it requires no change in him then why bother? In his present state, he will be of absolutely no use to us Ladies. Without enforced guidelines he is a waste of time. I will go back to drinking tea, and plotting with Hakko Ichio, and coaxing sing/songs out of Squire Athkatla. These are much more pleasant pasttimes than dealing with a recalcitrant "poolboy". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patchy Posted August 20, 2002 Share Posted August 20, 2002 Originally posted by Yeknodathon: Hotpants... Poolboy gotta have hotpants... and stay very quiet and still in me darker corners. Yeknod, the Poolboy wears a Speedo...will that be acceptable attire for the paddock? Persephone Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Mike Posted August 20, 2002 Share Posted August 20, 2002 Just looking over these proposed duties - since when did any castle include a paddock?? Where's the pool in the castle, and, finally but most importantly...... ....there seems to be nothing in the contract about frollicking with bimb......er....bikini-clad-beauties?? what sort of a pool boy job is this anyway?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted August 20, 2002 Share Posted August 20, 2002 Am I the ONLY one around here who's capable of sniffing out conspiracies? Am I the only one who has the best interests of the CessPool at heart? I WARNED each and every one of you on the dangers of this insidious Poolboy concept and now see where its gone! We have the equivilant of Squires, SQUIRES just removed from Serfdom for all practical purposes, setting forth duties and responsibilities for these PoolBoys AS IF THEY WERE SQUIRES OF THE SQUIRES! Well it won't do, it just won't do at all. I further note that Berli did NOT put his stamp of approval (it's the stamp of the clown on balancing on a ball clapping his hands with the legend "A ROUND of Applause For A Good Student") on the concept. He merely stated that IF a PoolBoy is made, he will that much sooner be killed. No CessPoolers, something far more sinister is happening here. We have the newest Lady of the CessPool attempting to CIRCUMVENT LONG ESTABLISHED RULES AND PROCEDURES OF THE CESSPOOL! Let no one doubt where this infamy will lead if not checked and checked promptly. ONLY GAWD CAN MAKE A TREE ... I'm not sure how that relates but it sounds good. Joe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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