I Challenge Peng to Eat a Bug

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by Hiram Sedai:

http://home.earthlink.net/~hiramsedai/_uimages/Hiramface.JPG

tee hee

Why are you wearing a large black plastic earring that glows like a rat's eye, you whiskered bum?

[Guest PondScum]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

<font size=-1>Why are you wearing a large black plastic earring that glows like a rat's eye, you whiskered bum?</font>

Be QUIET old man. That's the laser dot from my sniper rifle, and if you hadn't startled me I wouldn't have just put one through the wall behind him. Now, let's see, left a bit, up a bit...

[Seanachai]

There is simply not enough alcohol in the Universe to guide me past threads like 'CMBB on the XBOX'.

The same, seemingly 'reasonable' group of newcomers shows up and explains what BFC should do. Then several f'ing halfwits who can't tie their own shoelaces because the constant stream of urine down one leg has matted them beyond untangling shows up to shout 'Yeah, I've always said that!', no matter how stupid what's being discussed.

Then some reasonable, and also some 'unreasonable' people show up to explain why what's being discussed may by 'interesting, but ultimately pointless/unlikely/or just plain stupid'. And then, invariably, someone shows up to say 'Do you know, if you don't want to discuss this topic that's been definitively proven to cause cancer in children under 18 months when they're exposed to it by being in the same country with the people who do want to discuss it, you should just shut up."

Normally it would be a welcome moment of humour when those huffing about their 'right to freely discuss something' tell those who keep explaining to them how that horse is already dead, and flogging it won't help, to 'shut up' and let them try and resurrect it by the power of positive stupidity.

But I digress.

Is there anyone who doesn't want to beat AussieJeff about the head with a cricket 'paddle' until he stops annoying everyone with his utterly irritating mastery of the more pointless aspects of UBB coding?

[ December 07, 2002, 02:37 AM: Message edited by: Seanachai ]

[dalem]

Originally posted by Hiram Sedai:

http://home.earthlink.net/~hiramsedai/_uimages/Hiramface.JPG

tee hee

Hey old bean, I think it's supposed to be a picture of you but someone's hacked it and replaced it with .... something. I don't know what it is, but that last time I saw something that unearthly and hideous it was an electron micrograph of the disease-scarred anus of a cockroach.

[ December 07, 2002, 02:41 AM: Message edited by: dalem ]

[dalem]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

Is there anyone who doesn't want to beat AussieJeff about the head with a cricket 'paddle' until he stops annoying everyone with his utterly irritating mastery of the more pointless aspects of UBB coding?

Why stop ever?

[Mace]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

The same, seemingly 'reasonable' group of newcomers shows up and explains what BFC should do. Then several f'ing halfwits who can't tie their own shoelaces because the constant stream of urine down one leg has matted them beyond untangling shows up to shout 'Yeah, I've always said that!', no matter how stupid what's being discussed.

But think of the community service we do by keeping them off the streets!

Mace

[Mace]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

Is there anyone who doesn't want to beat AussieJeff about the head with a cricket 'paddle' until he stops annoying everyone with his utterly irritating mastery of the more pointless aspects of UBB coding?

A bat. It's called a cricket bat, not a paddle.

Paddle's are for those who like to wear pink tu tus while playing a sport.

Badmitton.

*harumph* Now's there's a game played with paddles. You don't see real men playing Badmitton!

I think the likes of Mike or Bauhaus would play it. Not me. Badmitton's not for this little Mace.

Now tiddley-winks, there's a real man's game.

The little veins popping up in your muscled arms while you skillfully press down on the little bouncy thing with another bouncy thing. Sweat on the brow while concentrating! That's a REAL MAN's game.

None of this paddle stuff for me! Oh No.

Mace

[ December 07, 2002, 02:52 AM: Message edited by: Mace ]

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by Mace:

A bat. It's called a cricket bat, not a paddle.

None of this paddle stuff for me! Oh No.

Mace

Sorry, but I simply don't know what else you can call a piece of hardwood that's twice as wide and half as hard as Margaret Thatcher, other than a 'paddle'.

Never a 'bat', Mace. I mean, as daft a sport as 'baseball' is, they use 'bats', and the cricket 'paddle' is nowhere near as narrow and precise as a 'bat'.

You could easily make your way upstream in a canoe using a 'cricket paddle', while you'd probably make no headway at all with a 'baseball bat'.

Of course it's not my intention to point out that, as lame as 'Baseball' is, that the average 'Cricket' team could be killed in minutes by their Colonial equivalents.

Superiour weaponry, in the form of the 'baseball bat' would help, as well as the fact that 'Cricket' players are attempting to 'defend' a small pile of sticks, while the American baseball players are totally on the offensive. the only thing behind their batters is a member of the opposite team who they'd gladly beat to death with said bat if they thought they could get away with it.

And, while 'baseball' is one of America's less 'athletic' sports, the average 'Cricket' player looks like an unhinged barn door, and committed to the slow, unimaginative, stolid play that can go for days at a time, and result in scores that put one more in mind of pinball machines than sports.

[Noba]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Mace:

A bat. It's called a cricket bat, not a paddle.

None of this paddle stuff for me! Oh No.

Mace

Sorry, but I simply don't know what else you can call a piece of hardwood that's twice as wide and half as hard as Margaret Thatcher, other than a 'paddle'.

Never a 'bat', Mace. I mean, as daft a sport as 'baseball' is, they use 'bats', and the cricket 'paddle' is nowhere near as narrow and precise as a 'bat'.

You could easily make your way upstream in a canoe using a 'cricket paddle', while you'd probably make no headway at all with a 'baseball bat'.

Of course it's not my intention to point out that, as lame as 'Baseball' is, that the average 'Cricket' team could be killed in minutes by their Colonial equivalents.

Superiour weaponry, in the form of the 'baseball bat' would help, as well as the fact that 'Cricket' players are attempting to 'defend' a small pile of sticks, while the American baseball players are totally on the offensive. the only thing behind their batters is a member of the opposite team who they'd gladly beat to death with said bat if they thought they could get away with it.

And, while 'baseball' is one of America's less 'athletic' sports, the average 'Cricket' player looks like an unhinged barn door, and committed to the slow, unimaginative, stolid play that can go for days at a time, and result in scores that put one more in mind of pinball machines than sports.</font>

[Speedy]

I saw an add yesterday for a genuine 'farting' gnome and I was wondering how much you were charging Seanachai.

www.gizmos-uk.com/Gnomes.htm

[ December 07, 2002, 04:22 AM: Message edited by: Speedy ]

[Yeknodathon]

Originally posted by Noba:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Seanachai:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Mace:

A bat. It's called a cricket bat, not a paddle.

None of this paddle stuff for me! Oh No.

Mace

Sorry, but I simply don't know what else you can call a piece of hardwood that's twice as wide and half as hard as Margaret Thatcher, other than a 'paddle'.

Never a 'bat', Mace. I mean, as daft a sport as 'baseball' is, they use 'bats', and the cricket 'paddle' is nowhere near as narrow and precise as a 'bat'.

You could easily make your way upstream in a canoe using a 'cricket paddle', while you'd probably make no headway at all with a 'baseball bat'.

Of course it's not my intention to point out that, as lame as 'Baseball' is, that the average 'Cricket' team could be killed in minutes by their Colonial equivalents.

Superiour weaponry, in the form of the 'baseball bat' would help, as well as the fact that 'Cricket' players are attempting to 'defend' a small pile of sticks, while the American baseball players are totally on the offensive. the only thing behind their batters is a member of the opposite team who they'd gladly beat to death with said bat if they thought they could get away with it.

And, while 'baseball' is one of America's less 'athletic' sports, the average 'Cricket' player looks like an unhinged barn door, and committed to the slow, unimaginative, stolid play that can go for days at a time, and result in scores that put one more in mind of pinball machines than sports.</font>

[Noba]

[peers from behind the the water trough]

Baseball bats are too good for Nobbits... one has to stuff 'em with ping-pong balls and slap 'em hard with yer table-tennis paddle till something falls out.

And yer all wrong about bats 'cause I've got one, a real bat, a real fruit bat which tells me secrets and anyone that confuses a fruit bat with a cricket bat or baseball bat or fruit paddle or [gazes across to the paddock pond] a fruit puddle is more pathetic than a Nobbit spitting balls which is quite a thing 'cause Nobbits are just naturally clueless about everything, now and ever.

Bother, bother, bother... one can only have so many colonials declaiming about bats. Gives me bleedin' gip.

Yeknod o' tha Thistle and Defender of the Paddock

What's with the clueless bit, then. Australia is playing [with] England, (not bolded due to their utter use-less-ness at any sport) at cricket. You are English. You know as much as The Gnome. Refocuss your eyes and go chew on another thistle. Better still. Ask your fruitbat if it can play cricket. I hear the POMS are in need of new players.

Noba.

[AUSSIEJEFF]

Originally posted by Noba:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />[peers from behind the the water trough]

Baseball bats are too good for Nobbits... one has to stuff 'em with ping-pong balls and slap 'em hard with yer table-tennis paddle till something falls out.

And yer all wrong about bats 'cause I've got one, a real bat, a real fruit bat which tells me secrets and anyone that confuses a fruit bat with a cricket bat or baseball bat or fruit paddle or [gazes across to the paddock pond] a fruit puddle is more pathetic than a Nobbit spitting balls which is quite a thing 'cause Nobbits are just naturally clueless about everything, now and ever.

Bother, bother, bother... one can only have so many colonials declaiming about bats. Gives me bleedin' gip.

Yeknod o' tha Thistle and Defender of the Paddock

What's with the clueless bit, then. Australia is playing [with] England, (not bolded due to their utter use-less-ness at any sport) at cricket. You are English. You know as much as The Gnome. Refocuss your eyes and go chew on another thistle. Better still. Ask your fruitbat if it can play cricket. I hear the POMS are in need of new players.

Noba.</font>

[Yeknodathon]

Originally posted by Noba:

What's with the clueless bit, then. Australia is playing [with] England, (not bolded due to their utter use-less-ness at any sport) at cricket. You are English. You know as much as The Gnome. Refocuss your eyes and go chew on another thistle. Better still. Ask your fruitbat if it can play cricket. I hear the POMS are in need of new players.

Noba.

Exactly.

Absolutely bleedin' clueless.

*sigh*... W-E D-O-N'T W-A-N-T T-O W-I-N

*sniff*... W-E F-E-E-L G-O-O-D L-O-S-I-N-G... B-A-D-L-Y...

*sigh* and which country, which fetid, sun-soaked clod fails to begin to comprehend the moving spectacle of heroic failure against overwhelming odds, eh?

Australia.

Which detestable out-crop, blessed with an over-abundance of riches and athletic prowess fails to grasp the mysteries of the complaint, the impending catastrophe, the queue, the moan, the gray drizzle, the sighing and shaking of heads, the tut-tutting and endless contemplation of national collapse, eh?

Australia.

So, that fair land feeds the English and defines the worth of gratifying gloom... and in their happy ignorance and feats upon the field of play we wallow in our disgruntled reverie and plan another Royal visit to annoy.

[swings a tail], anyone for Rugby?

Yeknod

[AUSSIEJEFF]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

And, while 'baseball' is one of America's less 'athletic' sports, the average 'Cricket' player looks like an unhinged barn door, and committed to the slow, unimaginative, stolid play that can go for days at a time, and result in scores that put one more in mind of pinball machines than sports.

Hmmm. Let's see. Let me count you the ways...

(IVXXIV) ALL Cricket is a game of TACTICS, requiring FAR SUPERIOR MINDS to any of the mere trifling that might occur within your "batball" game. What's that you say? Your "batter" -*snort* something WE sophisticated folk coat fried fish with - has to "think" about whether to "bunt" - rhymes with somefink crude - or attempt to equally crudely smite the "ball" - a friggin' great watermelon sized lump of canvas that NO-ONE could POSSIBLY MISS - somewhere within a crudely drawn "diamond". Hmmmm. Must take a LOT OF BRAINPOWER do do THAT.

(Part 32) TEST Cricket is a game of STAMINA played over many days (unless you are a bleeding POM in which case you have NO STAMINA and therefore keel over after no more than 3 days max *SNICKER*) whereas batball is flayed out over a period of a piffling few hours - if yer lucky.

(Firstly) ONE DAY cricket is the MOST EXCITING DAY LONG game IN THE WORLD. I mean, Kerry Packer KNOWS what is exciting. And it AIN'T a few rabid minutes of BATBALL!

(Cop This) In summary, Cricket is THE THINKING, WHOLESOME BODIED, STRATEGICALLY SUPERIOUR MINDED MAN'S and WO-MAN's GAME OF CHOICE. It is the closest thing to WAR without actually resorting to hi-tech weaponry. Ball swing and delivery ballistics vs body armour penetration stats - a veritable GROG'S PARADISE! Almost a REAL LIFE VERSION of CM as it were!!!

So, refute THAT stack of undeniable facts if you can with a pathetic, puny tin "bat" in yer hand.... my heavy 15 pound slab of hewn willow would cave that ****e in with one mighty swipe over midwicket.. *CLANG* - SIX!!!

URAAAAH!!!

AJ

Defender of The One True Game

[Hakko Ichiu]

Originally posted by Hiram Sedai:

http://home.earthlink.net/~hiramsedai/_uimages/Hiramface.JPG

tee hee

Nice picture, but what is that large, festering, pustulent sore on your forehead? It's turned orange and black for Gawd's sake. See a doctor, man!

I want to thank you for posting that pic, as it reminds me that even though I have a hole in my roof, that the temperature in my kids' bedrooms was 40 degrees last night, and that at any moment my sewage holding tank is going to overflow and turn the downstairs of my house into something that looks like the habitat of the wild Peng, at least I don't live in New Jersey anymore.

Ice storms are Nature's way of saying bend over and pass the Astroglide™.

[Joe Shaw]

Now look, this is clearly a case in which an impartial judgement needs to be made by someone who is totally and completely, uh , impartial and unbiased.

CRICKET is a bug! A particularly loathsome and vile bug which infested Utah way back when in the 1800's and which GAWD saw fit to dispatch with hordes of seagulls who obviously mistook the Great Salt Lake for the Great Salt Ocean ... at least that's my theory.

BASEBALL, OTOH, is a game at once sublime and mysterious with great characters like "Lefty" Gomez who once was asked why it took him so long to actually throw the ball. He responded, "If I don't throw it ... they can't hit it." Who can argue with logic like that?

So there you have it, let's hear no more twaddle about this or that game invented by an empire who had it's best days long before any of us were born. America IS the world's only superpower, Baseball IS America's Game, therefore Baseball is the ... I don't know ... a superpower game or something.

On a side note, I'll be going to Denver for a few days starting Monday and will be meeting with OGSF. Would you recommend a portable version of Bablefish or should I just nod a lot and say "Uh huh"?

Joe

[Noba]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

So there you have it, let's hear no more twaddle about this or that game invented by an empire who had it's best days long before any of us were born. America IS the world's only superpower, Baseball IS America's Game, therefore Baseball is the ... I don't know ... a superpower game or something.

- SNIP -

Lets not start on the American only "World Series" in baseball.....

On a side note, I'll be going to Denver for a few days starting Monday and will be meeting with OGSF. Would you recommend a portable version of Bablefish or should I just nod a lot and say "Uh huh"?

Whilst you kick him in the Ghoolies for me. CAPITAL idea...!

Joe

Noba.

[ December 07, 2002, 10:59 AM: Message edited by: Noba ]

[Boo Radley]

Originally posted by Speedy:

[QB]I saw an add yesterday for a genuine 'farting' gnome and I was wondering how much you were charging Seanachai.

QB]

"Add" means 2+2=4.

"Ad" is short for "Advertisment", you blithering idiot.

[Panzer Leader]

You there, GIT! Send a Fecking turn!

[Gaylord Focker]

Ninjan1 , dojo time is over, take off the nerf helmet, and put down you plastic sword, yes you may hit your head one more time on that stack of 2X4's.

Feel better? I thought you would, now here it is the way i see it, your skill level is about on par with Jackie Chans, in acting, with Kara'te i'd put you on the same level as i don't know......Mr.Potatoe Head. Yes you look cool in the black ninja hood and all but you should realy try and stop yourself from sparring with card board boxes in the street, it makes quite a mess, and you dont look very impressive stumbling over trash cans and losing to them.

There is still a slight chance for you, you must carry your Kara'te skill to the game of Combat Mission, don't worry the load will feel weightless, we chall play in a duelof dishonor, that way there are no mistakes, and if you take your gamey ass King Tiger, I'll have something other then T-34's waiting for it.

The winner of the duel shall have to submist a post here containing at least one compliment to Pancreas Leader .

That shall be the fate of the gameiest bastich in the duel.

You know the rules everything is clear on my end, except why the feck are you holding a rubber chicken????

[MrPeng]

Originally posted by Gaylord Focker:

drooling

shut up and send a turn

Peng

[athkatla]

Oh my God, what a gathering of doddering, senile old has-beens have collected on here to mouth off and spray foul smelling breath all over the MBT! melad so you're back huh? Well how about a fecking turn!!! Geez, you go away for a few days and the system goes to pot. Oh for a good organiser!

[Stalin's Organ]

Originally posted by athkatla:

Oh my God, what a gathering of doddering, senile old has-beens have collected on here to mouth off and spray foul smelling breath all over the MBT!!

Yep - very perceptive of you to notice it - especially since you're here!!

Fortunately this thread is near to death. Your instructions will be given at the start of the next one.

melad so you're back huh? Well how about a fecking turn!!! Geez, you go away for a few days and the system goes to pot. Oh for a good organiser!

Those who can, do, those who can't, teach.

Those who complain about it in the cesspool are spineless gorms - hey - that's YOU!!

[Panzer Leader]

Originally posted by Stalin's Organ:

There should be a law against you.