I Challenge Peng to Eat a Bug

[Panzer Leader]

That's right ladies and germs, it's time for an all new episode of "Flog Yer Monkey." This week the focus is on the benifits and detriments of a good weekly flogging. Our contestants have been specially picked by a panel familiar with both monkeys and floggings. Let's get started shall we?

Step right up. Our first contestant is you, SSN! Step up to the podium please. Now, let us see your location and email addy. None registered? OK, please step to the back of the line. OK, now one or two more steps, Thanx! Next! (That was a right-round "Sod Orf" mate.)

Now, then, SSN let's see if you fare any better. Let's here you sound off a bit! Challenge someone - someone specific - with an ounce of creative wit and/or panache. And remember sound off like ya got a pair, not ABOUT your pair! Oh, you'll do what? With whom? You've got a what? Next! (Sodded off)

Did I foget to mention the "half-a-brain" bit? Yes, SSN, not only do you have to sound off like you have a pair, you also need to sound off like you have half a brain. Other permutaitions might be "without-a-pair-but-with-a-whole-brain" or "just-one-but-3/4-brain"

Note that you are an SSN otherwise known as scum-sucking-newbie and/or some kind of submarine designation. You may notice that we have a caste system here. To wit: you, SSN, serf, Squire (and here there is a yawning gap which you will likely never cross) kanigget, senior kanigget, Olde One, and finally the pinacle of all creation: Lady. Many of our senior kaniggets and Olde ones have nearly reached this state, and soon they will be known as Olde Ladies.

Are you a lady, SSN? If so we will treat you with respect and good humour: gentlemanly and honorably. And in return we expect the same of you towards our Ladies. Oh, you're just lady-LIKE? In that case, expect our scorn. You've been sodded, off.

Turns out we have no SSNs left for our game of Flog Yer Monkey. All the SSNs were measured and found lacking. We threw them out, gave them the bum's rush, they got the ol "Sod Off!" and now you, SSN, if you're still here, are about to suffer the same fate.

Remember, it's never too late to Sod Off!

[pakfan]

Germs? Oh, I once read this funny sentence about germ(an)s:

GERM A bit of animal life living in water.

GERMAN More animal life, living on beer.

HAHAHAHA!!! HAHA. Ha. Ha?

OK. Not so funny.

Pakfan Out.

[Berlichtingen]

Originally posted by pakfan:

Pakfan Out.

And stay there!

[Andreas]

God, Pansen Leader... Wasn't the spanking you received from my ATGs enough for you to crawl in a deep dark hole and stay there?

[Harv]

Did Lorak mention he sucks yet?

If the answer is "No", he should, because he does.

If the answer is "Yes", excellent, because he does.

Harv

[Panzer Leader]

Originally posted by Andreas:

God, Pansen Leader... Wasn't the spanking you received from my ATGs enough for you to crawl in a deep dark hole and stay there?

ATGs?? You had freaking Dora and Emil with TRP's to my jumping off point. Which happened to be the far corner of a map that consisted of a big open valley and a whole bunch of cover in the opposite corner. (Where you - and the flags - were)

Oh, and then, I get a reinforcement of one scared tank a turn for 15 turns. It shows up, Dora pops it, rinse repeat. Yes, Berli, I've been meaning to talk toy ou about that one. Evil is one thing, but torture - quite another.

[pakfan]

Originally posted by Berlichtingen:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by pakfan:

Pakfan Out.

And stay there!</font>

[Boo Radley]

Originally posted by pakfan:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Berlichtingen:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by pakfan:

Pakfan Out.

And stay there!</font>

[Marlow]

Originally posted by Panzer Leader:

ATGs?? You had freaking Dora and Emil with TRP's to my jumping off point. Which happened to be the far corner of a map that consisted of a big open valley and a whole bunch of cover in the opposite corner. (Where you - and the flags - were)

Oh, and then, I get a reinforcement of one scared tank a turn for 15 turns. It shows up, Dora pops it, rinse repeat. Yes, Berli, I've been meaning to talk toy ou about that one. Evil is one thing, but torture - quite another.

[pakfan]

Originally posted by Boo_Radley:

Obviously, it can only be that Gawd-awful intro by you, PL that draws this one in.

Don't you have any BUG spray?

Crush me with a shoe! Torture me, I need it... That's what I like...

Gosh, I'm going to leave you in this god-forsaken thread, with all your unfriendly attitudes, and get to some better place with friendly, smiling, open-minded people that love everyone! Time for a meal, so to say...

[Nidan1]

Originally posted by pakfan:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Boo_Radley:

Obviously, it can only be that Gawd-awful intro by you, PL that draws this one in.

Don't you have any BUG spray?

Crush me with a shoe! Torture me, I need it... That's what I like...

Gosh, I'm going to leave you in this god-forsaken thread, with all your unfriendly attitudes, and get to some better place with friendly, smiling, open-minded people that love everyone! Time for a meal, so to say...</font>

[Nidan1]

Originally posted by Marlow:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Panzer Leader:

ATGs?? You had freaking Dora and Emil with TRP's to my jumping off point. Which happened to be the far corner of a map that consisted of a big open valley and a whole bunch of cover in the opposite corner. (Where you - and the flags - were)

Oh, and then, I get a reinforcement of one scared tank a turn for 15 turns. It shows up, Dora pops it, rinse repeat. Yes, Berli, I've been meaning to talk toy ou about that one. Evil is one thing, but torture - quite another.</font>

[Panzer Leader]

So I've got a coupla narrow streams running through me games, what of it? Sheesh. It is an ASSAULT, Marlboro, use some of that superiority.

Oh, and Nidan1, it was your mistake to choose "Attack" when you picked that map. I'm just having fun. Just remember that these 'mistakes' of yours are going to cost Boo's Playhouse dearly.

Also, could I get a clarification? I am playing a droog named Snarker and he is worried that he might be a SSN. Shall I tell him he's a serf or just twist the knife a bit more. Only good thing about him is he doesn't seem to have qualms about sending wave after wave of his stroops to their bloody demise.

[Berlichtingen]

Originally posted by Panzer Leader:

ATGs?? You had freaking Dora and Emil with TRP's to my jumping off point. Which happened to be the far corner of a map that consisted of a big open valley and a whole bunch of cover in the opposite corner. (Where you - and the flags - were)

Oh, and then, I get a reinforcement of one scared tank a turn for 15 turns. It shows up, Dora pops it, rinse repeat. Yes, Berli, I've been meaning to talk toy ou about that one. Evil is one thing, but torture - quite another.

And which fine scenario are you talking about?

[Panzer Leader]

I've blocked my memory of the name, but the briefing went something along the lines of:

"The Germans are retreating! Now is the time to follow through our attack and break through their lines decisively before they have a chance to regroup. Get'em, champ!"

Byte Battle, Germans have some tired guys and 3-5 big-ass guns.

I have countless T-34s. They all die. Not fair!

[Berlichtingen]

Originally posted by Panzer Leader:

I've blocked my memory of the name, but the briefing went something along the lines of:

"The Germans are retreating! Now is the time to follow through our attack and break through their lines decisively before they have a chance to regroup. Get'em, champ!"

Byte Battle, Germans have some tired guys and 3-5 big-ass guns.

I have countless T-34s. They all die. Not fair!

You lost that scenario! My G... er... WOW! Le'see... you have lotsa T-34s and the Germans start out in a panic state... and you lost!? I'll try to remember to club the fish in the barrel for you next time

[Joe Shaw]

Originally posted by Panzer Leader:

I've blocked my memory of the name, but the briefing went something along the lines of:

"The Germans are retreating! Now is the time to follow through our attack and break through their lines decisively before they have a chance to regroup. Get'em, champ!"

Byte Battle, Germans have some tired guys and 3-5 big-ass guns.

I have countless T-34s. They all die. Not fair!

Can we PLEASE stick to the important questions here ... did the T-34's retreat when faced with the streasms and ... and this is the important part so do TRY to pay attention ... DID THEY RETREAT BEFORE THE FIRST SHOT? This is CRITICAL to my continued extistence. It's clearly a bug (a caddisfly if I'm not mistaken) if the stream causes the T-34 to retreat without firing a shot at a FLANK of the stream no less, I mean it's not like the stream was hull down and facing it so that MAYBE I could see it and if you'd just play the damned file I sent and tested a couple of times and get the same results I do then you'd all see, ALL OF YOU I SAY, YOU'D ALL SEE THEN YES, YOU'D ALL SEE THAT I AM A GENIUS AND YOU ARE WADS OF GUMSTUCK TO MY DBOFOOT AND AFRE FOOLES TO DOUBETED ME FOOLLES LOOFFFLS FOOLLESSSW.,\

Gotta run ...

Joe

[Berlichtingen]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

Can we PLEASE stick to the important questions here ... did the T-34's retreat when faced with the streasms and ... and this is the important part so do TRY to pay attention ... DID THEY RETREAT BEFORE THE FIRST SHOT? This is CRITICAL to my continued extistence. It's clearly a bug (a caddisfly if I'm not mistaken) if the stream causes the T-34 to retreat without firing a shot at a FLANK of the stream no less, I mean it's not like the stream was hull down and facing it so that MAYBE I could see it and if you'd just play the damned file I sent and tested a couple of times and get the same results I do then you'd all see, ALL OF YOU I SAY, YOU'D ALL SEE THEN YES, YOU'D ALL SEE THAT I AM A GENIUS AND YOU ARE WADS OF GUMSTUCK TO MY DBOFOOT AND AFRE FOOLES TO DOUBETED ME FOOLLES LOOFFFLS FOOLLESSSW.,\

Gotta run ...

Joe

Thanks for chiming in Redwolf. Btw, can we expect your trained monkey Licensed Boob to post soon?

[Lars]

Originally posted by YK2:

Berli gave him a kick in the yarbles and told Panzer Leader what a useless git he was.

I liked this bit.

Tell us another story, m'lady.

SSN Hint Of The Day: Carve your name in picnic tables.

Now sod off.

[Marlow]

Originally posted by YK2:

Berli gave him a kick in the yarbles and told Panzer Leader what a useless git he was.

Panzer Leader has yarbles?

[rune]

Does this now mean Joebob will leave the MBT for at least a month? Well...we can hope...

In turn updating...

The Bastidge Marlow has used his WWI crack of CMBB, and assigned me to attack. I have infantry, infantry, and well...infantry. I do NOT have a single AT asset. What does he get? Why tanks of course, and on the defense. To make things more interesting for me....the map has 1 small spot of trees only, BEHIND HIS LINES.

So far my brave infantry still attacks, but cannister makes me know how Pickett felt at Gettysburg. "Sir, I have NO division".

I will, however, continue in the quest to try to take out a single tank of his Tank Corp....

Rune

[Marlow]

Originally posted by rune:

The Bastidge Marlow has used his WWI crack of CMBB, and assigned me to attack. I have infantry, infantry, and well...infantry. I do NOT have a single AT asset. What does he get? Why tanks of course, and on the defense. To make things more interesting for me....the map has 1 small spot of trees only, BEHIND HIS LINES.

So far my brave infantry still attacks, but cannister makes me know how Pickett felt at Gettysburg. "Sir, I have NO division".

I will, however, continue in the quest to try to take out a single tank of his Tank Corp....

Rune

Well, you DID have AT assets and armor, just not anymore. Yes, it has been glorious to watch you send your German hordes charge into the Valley of Death, but unlike the the original I doubt you'll make to the guns.

I predict that I'll soon be singing, yet again, of Brave Sir Rune who bravely ran away.

[rune]

Marlow you incredible untergrog...a Armored Car with a Machine gun is NOT, repeat NOT a anti-tank asset. 2 MG Armored cars and one HT with a pop gun is NOT the same as a Tank Corp.

Yes folks, you read that right, infantry with NO at assets, and 2 ACs with a mg and an HT with a pop gun that shoots a cork vs a Tank Corp.

Yet...the infantry are still assaulting. Twice his tanks had to withdraw, or face the humiliation of my troops placing slogans on their tanks with paint. [it is all they can do].

Rune

[Agua Perdido]

UPDATES!

Goanna: Lotsa panicky commie-lizards flailing in the snow--at least a battalion's worth. Dieter and the rest of the Divisional Poetry Appreciation Club have them under control so far. Only 25 turns to go! (Which at our current pace may rival the year-and-a-half-and-counting length of my match with stevetherat.)

Joe Shaw: Ponced off on a "work" trip or somefink after being unable to process a simple movie file in less than four days. Hans and the rest of the Panzerkorp's Kustom Kar Pinto Hotrod Klub are fully prepared to fling hard-cover Chilton manuals at Joe's gamey SMG hordes and SU-152s.

Lars: Have I mentioned what a complete and utter gamey bastard he is? In spite of that, a rush by an entire infantry company, supported by TWO KV-2s, was stalled by Jergen and the Regimental Dog-Walking Squad (even after being repeatedly hit by my own flamethrower in an overzealous attempt to help light their Hibachi (it is Dec '42... rations are a bit thin)).

Croda: Is a brainless prat.

Agua Perdido

[Edited to emphasize that Croda is a brainless prat.]

[ December 02, 2002, 02:51 PM: Message edited by: Agua Perdido ]

[Berlichtingen]

Originally posted by rune:

Marlow you incredible untergrog...a Armored Car with a Machine gun is NOT, repeat NOT a anti-tank asset. 2 MG Armored cars and one HT with a pop gun is NOT the same as a Tank Corp.

Yes folks, you read that right, infantry with NO at assets, and 2 ACs with a mg and an HT with a pop gun that shoots a cork vs a Tank Corp.

Yet...the infantry are still assaulting. Twice his tanks had to withdraw, or face the humiliation of my troops placing slogans on their tanks with paint. [it is all they can do].

Rune

Would you like some cheese with your whine?