For the Record, I Am the PENG CHALLENGE Thread

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by Doug Beman:

Just so long as CImaPlayer doesn't try to squeeze in here with any of his wolves..... :eek:

DjB

Those poor damn wolves. My understanding is that pretty much every one of them that he's gotten near has had to be put to sleep by the Swedish Wildlife service.

Invariably they'd gone insane and would psychotically attack anyone who tried to get near them. Some, when shown a rubber glove, swallowed their own tongues in their fear crazed horror...

[CMplayer]

*elbowing his way into the middle of the group hug*

Eh? Outta the way, you! Give us some too, eh luv?

Ohhh...

Oooh....

What 'ave we 'ere in the middle? It's a very sour faced angry little someone... I know just the thing to cheer you up, but first, what's your name?

*inaudible*

Speak up I can't hear you!

Seanachai: Seanachai, sir.

Well, Seanachai, take this, it's for you! A cadeaux, like.

*pulls inflatable lupus doll from back pocket*

Now you huff and puff some and blow it up. Then I'll show you how to use it.

Seanachai: Great! Thanks, CMplayer, sir. You're a pal.

Of course I am, now are you almost done?

Seanachai: *red in face from huffing and puffing* almost...ready...

Good. Now first you start like this: put your...[splutter static]

---------transmission interrupted-------------

[CMplayer]

Right, very good. Now I was going to show you how to have lots of fun with the inflatable wolf. I suppose a picture is worth a thousand words. Do you want to see the picture?

Seanachai *looking a bit disqusted* well, actually....

Good! Here you go. Now run along and have a fun day

[Joe Shaw]

Originally posted by CMplayer:

*elbowing his way into the middle of the group hug*{snipped for the sake of all that's right}

Right then CMPlayer, this won't do, it won't do at all lad. Making up ficticous conversations (those are, I'll admit, the best kind to make up) about some of us may be considered acceptable, but we will NOT allow this sad and frankly boring calumny of a revered Olde One to stand!

Remove it at once sir, or face the wrath of the assembled CessPool!

Joe

[Boo Radley]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

But Loam ...

I do not now nor have I ever insisted upon proper spelling, but let this serve as a caution to those who would mangle names willy-nilly ... at least TRY to make some sense! There's precious little hope for Boo_Radley of course, but YOU can do better

Joe

OK. I'll go s-l-o-w-l-y so even you can pick up on this Joe. Assuming that you read the entire post, AND assuming that you were able to retain what you'd read, (I know, we're asking for a lot here.) You might have picked up on the fact that I was still talking to the same person. I hadn't added any new player to the game, hadn't switched mental gears on you (Which for you is probably dead stop and reverse), was still talking to Lars. Sure, it was a lame name, but I was anxious to leave the office and was in a bit of a rush. To be honest with you (Which is much more than you deserve) I'm growing tired of tossing out derivations on peoples names. There's only so many you can think of, or work properly for that matter. But, as for insisting on proper spelling of names? I was unaware that Justicar translated to Maiden Aunt. I guess I was wrong.

Originally posted by Lars:

I'm going to be gone till probably Wednesday.

You're welcome to send the setup though. Take your time and make it a good one.

I know you'll be gone. I didn't say I was sending it right this minute. I realize that once you saw that it would be coming, you got all flustered and nervous, "Oooh, Boo is sending me a game! He's finally NOTICED ME and I'm not going to even BE here!"

Calm down, little one. Maybe before you split, you can get Seanachai to administer one of his group hugs. Just be certain he's not wearing a raincoat and sandles.

And if you show my previous post to your no doubt lovely and charming wife, I expect the light bulb will go off over her head and she will take the pledge and swear off drinking forevermore.

I know you're trying to be witty here, but I confess, this one was even too esoteric for me. "Light bulb going off...stop drinking"...? You mean she won't get an idea...?

Did you happen to start your vacation a bit early?

Just curious.

[Joe Shaw]

OK. I'll go s-l-o-w-l-y so even you can pick up on this Joe. Assuming that you read the entire post, AND assuming that you were able to retain what you'd read, (I know, we're asking for a lot here.)

Yes, especially since it's such damned desperate work reading any of your posts.

You might have picked up on the fact that I was still talking to the same person. I hadn't added any new player to the game, hadn't switched mental gears on you (Which for you is probably dead stop and reverse), was still talking to Lars. Sure, it was a lame name, but I was anxious to leave the office and was in a bit of

a rush.

[sarcasm] Ah ... yes ... well one DOES see that Lars is EASILY recognizable as Loam ... clearly that's obvious to anyone ... what WAS I thinking? [/sarcasm]

To be honest with you (Which is much more than you deserve) I'm growing tired of tossing out derivations on peoples names. There's only so many you can think of, or work properly for that matter. But, as for insisting on proper spelling of names? I was unaware that Justicar translated to Maiden Aunt. I guess I was wrong.

Insisting? Hardly that, indeed if you'd read MY post you'd have seen that I stated quite clearly that it was only a recommendation. As to your previous point that it becomes difficult to find alternatives ... surely that's all the more reason to follow my recommendation.

No lad, you're clearly in the wrong and it's best just to admit it and move on.

Joe

[Guest Mike]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Mike:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Panzer Leader:

You spelled Caesar wrong.

And so?

Let him sue me.

You're still dorks.</font>

[imported_Wildman]

A battle has been created and sent to our beloved Joe in his battle for 'spoldy things with PL.

It is in no way tested, neccessary balanced, or even fair. However, I'm sure you'll have fun if only to hear PL whine about how this isn't Der Kessel.

I hope you two cause each other a lot of pain.

XOXOXOXO

Wildman

[rleete]

Originally posted by Panzer Leader:

Adendum: Challenge some one low, a scum-sucking-newbie like yourself, or, if you are brave and cock-sure, maybe even a squire (do we have any left?)

Yes, there are some fine, upstanding individuals left. Those that have not whored themselves out, just to gain a worthless title. See poster above for details. I missed the first incantation of the rules, but knowing you, and your lack of anything worthwhile, I'm sure it was terrible. Go read Lorak's site, and memorize every word. Until then, please refrain from posting, git.

Originally posted by Boo_Radley:

As I am sending out surrenders to three individuals this evening...

(Note the spelling and bolding, Boo. Wouldn't want the Justawreck to come down on you for not following random rules invented to make it easier for old farts to read the thread, don'chaknow.)

You better not be talking about "Crodabug", you sasquach. The only surrender you're allowed is an automatic one. After all this time and effort, you don't get off that easy, chump. The last line of your email {"God, how I hate you."} has made my day. Didn't even have to see the turn; just made me smile, it did.

Mrspkr, let me congratulate you on extraordinary (okay, so it was obvious to everyone) sleuthing abilities in regards to SFC. Will you be billing BFC for this "service"?

[Papa Khann]

Originally posted by Lars:

Papa, you simpleton, Boo said the country was pretty, not Molly.

I mean really, Boo dating a pretty girl?

Well, unless she was blind. Or drunk. Or in a wheelchair.

Or blind drunk in a wheelchair, which would explain why she couldn't get away.

You're right, Lard, I must have gone completely daft. Maybe it's time for my medication. To think that I assumed Boo-Boo was capable of implying that the girl was pretty by making an association with her surroundings. Obviously, this is ludicrous. Boo isn't subtle enough to employ tableware while feeding (much less to masticate his tripe with his mouth closed). What was I thinking?

Papa

[Boo Radley]

Dear Joe,

You mentally unbalanced meadow muffin. You really aren't too quick on the uptake, are you dear boy? If you had the common ability of innate reasoning, you would have figured out that I meant that by even considering insistance on proper names, you were showing your true colors as a stick in the mud and a huge blowzy dowager aunt.

R_Leete, you gap-toothed throwback, you wish I'd throw in the towel concerning Crodaburg! I'm here to tell you, fat chance, Missy! The sad remnants of my apple pie-lovin' Mericuns will spank your Heinies yet! Pun intended!

Papa Kahn, you are a rotter and a bounder. Your "Palsied Wormy Cans" may have defeated me by your use of gamey tactics, such as going around my minefields and shooting my men from superior coverage, but that won't save you the next time around.

I awate your set up! (Actually, I await the AAR of the last game, so I can see just how soundly I was trounced.)

[Gaylord Focker]

Originally posted by Panzer Leader:

You spelled Caesar wrong.

Thats great, can you spell setup? I've been waiting most impatiently cooking up schemes for my Royaly subgugated, subjected Canadians to spill as much blood as possible (hopefuly your army's).

[ July 25, 2002, 09:39 PM: Message edited by: Gaylord Focker ]

[Panzer Leader]

Right-o, Ben Stiller. Expect it tonite! Ahh, what the hell, it's winging its way to you now...

[Gaylord Focker]

Originally posted by CMplayer:

Right, very good. Now I was going to show you how to have lots of fun with the inflatable wolf. I suppose a picture is worth a thousand words. Do you want to see the picture?

Seanachai *looking a bit disqusted* well, actually....

Good! Here you go. Now run along and have a fun day

So somone has been doing the werewolves of London i pressume?

[ July 25, 2002, 09:42 PM: Message edited by: Gaylord Focker ]

[Joe Shaw]

Dear Joe, You mentally unbalanced meadow muffin. You really aren't too quick on the uptake, are you dear boy? If you had the common ability of innate reasoning, you would have figured out that I meant that by even considering insistance on proper names, you were showing your true colors as a stick in the mud and a huge blowzy dowager aunt.

Well yes, I suppose that will have to do. Awfully weak comeback, no logic to it all and essentially nothing more than a series of random words with a couple of limp insults tossed in ... I accept your apology and am pleased to see that you've chosen the path of righteousness by spelling and bolding the names of CessPool members ... well done lad.

Now ... who IS this GF chap and what can we do as a group to make him leave? Frankly he reminds me far too much of the outerboards M_Bates before he changed his name. The elders here know what I mean.

Joe

[AUSSIEJEFF]

Pathetic AAR originally posted by Boo_Radley:

Googly Jeff: I'd really rather not go into it at this time, thank you.

Really? You really don't want the OTHERS to know how well you are doing at "Laghouat"? Oh, why spoil the fun. They could do with a leetle humour these days!

Lemme see then.

Secondly, there is the matter of your RIGHT flank, thus:

...and your LEFT flank, so:

...and primarily, but not least, your SOFT CENTRE:

*SOB*.. ah me!! {wipes tears from eyes ..... must be all that BBQ smoke..}

Tanks for these lasting memories, Boo-Hoo

When this superb scenario has shortly run it's inevitable course, I would be most pleased to give you a follow-up be-thrashing. Oh, don't let me FORCE you into accepting though...

Sir Flamin' AJ

Some Like It HOT!

[AUSSIEJEFF]

Originally posted by Doug Beman:

Very well, yon ki-nigget. I accept the challenge you've made on the behalf of the pestilent one. Wouldst thou be willing to provide a battle going beyond typical QB silliness?

DjB

I have yet to see a reply from rat, and am wondering if he's decided to hide out in his bad of moldy flour until I've given up on him.

DjB

Dear SSN Class II Doug,

I Bemean the fact that the cowardly, skulking, lurking less-than-a-SSN Rat has given you th' slip. They can be cunning buggars.

Instead, why don't you have a crack at this Gay Lord Flucker or whatever he calls his scummy self. I'm sure THAT would please our Latent Aunt Justiciar no end.

Tell you what, I'll even e-mail you a cunningly devised scenario that you can foist on the giggly beggar. Neither of you would ever have heard of it so it will be a fair fight. It's called "Attack Laghouat!" and basically involves two opponents standing at each end of a large sealed concrete drain pipe chucking endless rounds of HE at each other. It's GREAT splodey fun and warms the cockles of your heart, as can be attested to by the likes of those famous CMBO proponents Elvis, Noba and leastly Boo_Radley.

I suggest you play the Honorable Hun and the Lord of Gaiety play the Poncing Poms - it seems only roight!

Now if THAT'S not a leg up into the dingy Cesspit world of sqerfery or somefink even lower, I don't know WHAT is! (*WARNING* - Mind you, once your in ... that's it... it's a life style choice ya know)

Hop to it, then ......

Sir Flamin' AJ

Some Like It HOT!!

[ July 25, 2002, 10:38 PM: Message edited by: AussieJeff ]

[Seanachai]

GODDAMNIT, THAT'S ENOUGH! ENOUGH, DO YOU HEAR ME?

AUSSIEJEFF, YOU BLOODY LACKWIT, STOP USING THAT BIZARRE 'DESERT' MOD FOR BATTLES IN FRANCE '44-45, OR I'LL BY ALL THE GODS COME TO AUSTRALIA AND KILL YOU WITH MY BARE HANDS!

There's only so much a reasonable man can take, and if I see one more screenshot of this Aussie cretin apparently romping through a landscape drawn from northern Libya with all the town names in Walloon, I will go spare!

NO MORE 'OOH, LOOK AT ME, I'M AN AUSSIE FIGHTING IN NORTH AFRICA', AUSSIEJEFF, OR I WILL PAY TO HAVE YOU KILLED. I MEAN, A COUPLE OF HUNDRED U.S. DOLLARS IS A FORTUNE IN A LAND WITH A CURRENCY AS STABLE AND WELL REGARDED AS THE ITALIAN PARLIAMENT! HELL, I COULD PROBABLY GET STUKA TO KILL YOU FOR A CASE OF BEER AND THE PHONE NUMBERS OF SOME AMERICAN NURSES DOING INTERNSHIPS IN OZZYLAND.

So delete that nightmare of sand and palms until we actually go to the Desert War, you annoying pillock.

[Guest Mike]

do ya need a hug old man??

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by Mike:

do ya need a hug old man??

Okay, that was actually kind of funny, but I still think you should correct the spelling of Caesar...

[ July 26, 2002, 01:01 AM: Message edited by: Seanachai ]

[AUSSIEJEFF]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

{Snip} CAPITAL RANT, RANT, RANT......

Ooo-er!! Now there's nothing more frightening than a VERY SMALL, BATTERED GNOME wobbling all over the garden with it's SOILED KNICKERS IN A TWIST and BLEATING CAPITAL INANITIES is there?

Sir, I'll keep playing in my carefully crafted sand pit if I want. And why not? I spent 25,000 man hours doing mods for that sucker and if you think I'm gonna chuck it because <U>YOU</U> (or anyone else for that matter) don't like it - think again!

Tell you what, Sir. You can keep playing in your pretty poppy fields plastered with donkey dung till the cows come home, for all I care. Each to their own. Do you see me complain when YOU (or anyone else) post a godawful cack-green looking piccy? Nope. So, try putting your rose-tinted sunglasses on next time, if the heat and glare of an Aussie desert offends your - sensitive bits. Then again, maybe you just need a damned good CM whuppin' to beat your lonely boy blues..... it's up to you.

{Aside I}

Oh, thanks for the free offer of the case of beer and those cute nurses' phone numbers that cowardly, anonymous Yank sent you, Stuka old pal. It's good to see there is still some solidarity between us Aussies *sniff*. To think that a "seppo" could turn us against each other. Why, that's just UNTHINKABLE

{Aside II}

Umm, Macey ewe owe me a turn, to boot!!

Sir Flamin' AJ

Some Like It Hot AND Sandy!

[Speedy]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

HELL, I COULD PROBABLY GET STUKA TO KILL YOU FOR A CASE OF BEER AND THE PHONE NUMBERS OF SOME AMERICAN NURSES DOING INTERNSHIPS IN OZZYLAND.

No need to get old Stukes involved I'll do it for that price.

[AUSSIEJEFF]

Originally posted by Speedy:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Seanachai:

HELL, I COULD PROBABLY GET STUKA TO KILL YOU FOR A CASE OF BEER AND THE PHONE NUMBERS OF SOME AMERICAN NURSES DOING INTERNSHIPS IN OZZYLAND.

No need to get old Stukes involved I'll do it for that price.</font>

[AUSSIEJEFF]

.....and just in passing...

I'd like to take this opportunity on behalf of ALL fair-minded Australians, to wish our Governments' official best friends (The 'Merkins) the very best of luck in the GREATEST GAMES ON EARTH.

Yes, The World Championship Commonwealth Games are again upon us, with many an Aussie GOLD, GOLD, GOLD to be hung around our many Super-athlete's drug-free necks. We wish the US team in particular, the best of luck in the forthcoming challenges. We know you will love the participatory aspects.

Let's hear Three Cheers for the Yanks,

Oi, Oi, Oi!!

AJ

[Noba]

GODDAMNIT, THAT'S ENOUGH! ENOUGH, DO YOU HEAR ME?

AUSSIEJEFF, YOU BLOODY LACKWIT, STOP USING THAT BIZARRE 'DESERT' MOD FOR BATTLES IN FRANCE '44-45, OR I'LL BY ALL THE GODS COME TO AUSTRALIA AND KILL YOU WITH MY BARE HANDS!

Now, now Olde One .

I know your group hug things arn't working. Just go back to the Drugs. Safer.

[Aside] Psst. If you need a place to stay, he lives up in the hills. Too much radon, thorium and the likes...you can stay with me whilst you plan his demise. I'll take you into Northbridge, and we can do the night clubs and work out the details. [/aside]

Oh yes. Seanachai scored a tactical victory over me. Big deal.

Noba.

[ July 26, 2002, 05:47 AM: Message edited by: Noba ]