The Peng Challenge - you will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy...

[AUSSIEJEFF]

<STRIKE>GAME</STRIKE> SHAME UPDATES:

<U>Seanachai:</U> Unfortunately, he surreptitiously hypnotised me into foolishly picking the Brittle Brits in our devilish "Rees-am-Rhine" tete-a-tete. The useless Poms have been keeling over at an alarming rate since turn 1. I've got 1 platoon left to his 50, so I should be able to launch a devastating counter-attack soon.......

<U>Lars:</U> He says he <SMALL><SMALL>won<BIG><BIG>. In fact, he DID and I DIDN'T. I hates him and will heap revenge upon the curmudgeon forthwith.

<U>Boo-Radley:</U> The flaky BTS result thingamajiggy chucked a dart in his favour. If the wind had been blowing in a different direction, things might have been different. Pah! (See previous miserable post).

<U>Noba Part #1:</U> His Royals are running around in the scrub trying to avoid the hail of lead my brave Greenies are chucking his way. I've got my nose in front......just.

<U>Noba Part #2:</U> The Squirely Joust is starting to warm up. I now hold 5 flags to his 1. Does this mean I am winning??? Bit hard to tell really as we each seem to have the other surrounded......

<U>Yeknod the Tardy:</U> After a fine effort at sending a turn every 2nd day when he first fell into the Cesspit, has unfortunatley descended to the depths of depravity and can only manage 1 turn per millenium now. Sigh.... my ultimate total humiliation of his pixel ponies will take forever...

<U>Simon Elwin:</U> Is tasting good Fallschirmer steel in my Grand Liege's evil incarnation "Rees-am-Rhine". A miserable defeat awaits his flustered forces.

Did I mention about 30 posts ago that I WUPPED CRODA's impotent byte boys?? I did?? Oh good. SOD ORF then.........

AJ

<small>[ April 14, 2002, 02:37 AM: Message edited by: AussieJeff ]

[AUSSIEJEFF]

Hey Unca Stukey!

Are we gonna slug each other or what?

AJ

[Boo Radley]

Originally posted by Berlichtingen:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Boo_Radley:

Oh, now you're really hitting me where it hurts Shakey-knees, my culinary skills!

The words culinary & skill should never be used together in a sentence involving squash.</font>

[Lars]

Originally posted by Persephone:

Gary ShandLars, a renowned Minnesotan fisherman, recommends using a blender to catch fish.

Persephone

Damn I clean up nice!

{you should see what I look like after the wedding reception}

[Lars]

Originally posted by Sgt_K:

I'm a nervous altar boy

This albatross will be hung around your neck, CMplayer.

[Fionn]

I know it is traditional to say something witty here ( or at least something you all think is witty) but:

a) you wouldn't get it,

none of you are worth the hassle.

So, in summation, I have a profound and abiding hatred of each and every one of you, believe you should ALL be vivisected ( not for any scientific reason but just because I'd enjoy it and... well... you bloody well wouldn't) AND should lose your posting rights. The sad thing is the last threat there is probably the one that frightens you all the most

Now SOD OFF!

P.s. Hiya guys . Now that the essential slagging is over and done with... good to be back and see the Pool is as corrupting and insiduous as ever . I've had fun following the various threads during the "Wilderness Years" . Some of you are MOST inventive with your invective (ah, poetry)

[Guest PondScum]

Good god man, go easy with the winkies. You'll give Peng another one of his turns.

[Michael Dorosh]

Originally posted by Fionn:

I know it is traditional to say something witty here ( or at least something you all think is witty) but:

a) you wouldn't get it,

none of you are worth the hassle.

Now, now, Fiona, it is not merely tradition, but a requirement....or so I thought; of course, I am just an Outerboarder so take that with a grain of salt. For what it's worth, the Outer Board hates you too.

Seanachai, I thought you were merely being self-effacing when you called yourself a worthless git. I see you meant it. I realize that weeks of waiting for a turn from a 'Pooler is also tradition, but pleeeez.....

[OGSF]

Originally posted by Fionn:

I know it is traditional to say something witty here...

...boot ye cannae saim tae manage at, eh? Ah've bin watchin' an' waitin' fer ye tae cam skulkin' back wi 'ye piddle soaked tail 'atwixt ye bandy laigs! Mah poor wee span'l has gae more 'nads tha' yoo Jimmy, an' she's a wee lassie span'l! Ye've ducked mae fer nigh on two years noo, an' Ah didnae e'en miss ye....boot ye need tha sloppies slapped oot o' ye an' Ah'm tha wee bonnie Jock tha'll bae dwin at tae ye!

Sae ye kin step oop an' bae de-sloppied or clutch ye spotty arrrse wi' both o' ye soft girly hands an' crawl back under a damp moss rock ain County Killarney mon! Name ye stankin' poison an' Ah'll set mah pixeltruppen aboot ye till ye cryin' fer ye Mummy, ye googley-eyed lint collector!

Bastaarrrd!

SirMacOberGruppenBloodyStompinSicFeuhrerBastardABCDJimmy

[Yeknodathon]

Originally posted by Michael Dorosh:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Fionn:

I know it is traditional to say something witty here ( or at least something you all think is witty) but:

a) you wouldn't get it,

none of you are worth the hassle.

Now, now, Fiona, it is not merely tradition, but a requirement....or so I thought; of course, I am just an Outerboarder so take that with a grain of salt. For what it's worth, the Outer Board hates you too.

Seanachai, I thought you were merely being self-effacing when you called yourself a worthless git. I see you meant it. I realize that weeks of waiting for a turn from a 'Pooler is also tradition, but pleeeez.....</font>

[rleete]

Originally posted by Yeknodathon:

Seany-babe, {lots of foolish requests}

Seany-babe?! This is my liege you're talking about here. The Bard is above your station, you miserable, mad mule. Try macerating your head, you assidious ass. I am here to defend his honor (okay, point taken. It isn't much of a defence, either) from the likes of you! More lurking and less droning, if you please. If not, you know the drill. I'll give you a hint: it starts with SOD OFF .

And Boo Hoo , "Shakey-knees"? Surely you can do better than that. I know you're jealous and all. Having been "aquired" by Croda must be an ongoing disappointment. Not everyone can be called into service of the creator. But since we are already battling, I resolve to make you dread Crodaburg, and with it, the dastardly designer. Even more so than you already undoubtedly do.

[Patchy]

Berli and Joe spend some quality time together up in MinneGnoma.

Persephone

[ April 14, 2002, 04:45 PM: Message edited by: Persephone ]

[imported_Hiram Sedai]

Originally posted by Fionn:

I know it is traditional to say something witty here ( or at least something you all think is witty) but:

a) you wouldn't get it,

none of you are worth the hassle.

So, in summation, I have a profound and abiding hatred of each and every one of you, believe you should ALL be vivisected ( not for any scientific reason but just because I'd enjoy it and... well... you bloody well wouldn't) AND should lose your posting rights. The sad thing is the last threat there is probably the one that frightens you all the most

Now SOD OFF!

P.s. Hiya guys . Now that the essential slagging is over and done with... good to be back and see the Pool is as corrupting and insiduous as ever . I've had fun following the various threads during the "Wilderness Years" . Some of you are MOST inventive with your invective (ah, poetry)

Why would a person who has been gifted with an extremely big brain use smiley faces? Is this The Fionn who made grogs poop themselves when he spoke? Wasn’t it his thunderous replies that got himself banned not once, but twice from the message board we all hold so dear? I am beside myself with confusion and a wee bit of consternation. This Fionn seems a bit friendly and dare I say it, a bit chummy. Methinks something foul is afoot. I think that this faker is making us think that he is The Fionn but I won’t be taken in by his duplicity.

Since I am a resourceful fellow and the hit of every party, I’ve come up with an inventive idea to expose this charlatan!! I think that this fellow who pretends to be The Fionn would really and truly convince me of his “Fionness” if he were to play me in a Combat Mission Battle Thingy.

The history so far, for those of you who have not paid attention:

I’ve lost 97.5% of my PBEM games. I lost one game 100-0.

If this is the one and true Fionn Kelly who virgins weep after and med students cringe from, then only HE would be able to have a better score against me than the 100-0.

As an aside, I already know that HE wouldn’t stoop to playing one such as myself. He would say something like…”oh you are a cute little puppy but I’m too busy”

So, I toss the feces encrusted gauntlet at the artist formerly known as Fionn and say if you are indeed the The Fionn then prove it. Dismantle me. Show me the Kelly. Demonstrate how Pillar was wrong in his assumptions. I dare ya.

PS Irish people smell like Hamster droppings.

[Diceman]

Rumors of my death have been greatly exaggerated. What you didn't notice I was gone? That's O.K., neither did I.

Well I suppose it's time for an update, as if any of you blokes care.

Sock Monkey (I've been suffering a painful bout of real life, and unlike many of you I don't have access to the forum at work; was that supposed to be bolded?) just upped and surrendered in the middle of the game. Something about loosing an entire company of troops in less than 90 seconds. Gammoned bomb go BOOM, squad go bye bye. You gotta love it!

Yeknodathon continues to be lost in the fog, at least for the most part. One trigger happy squad has exposed my position, and artillery is walking its way toward me like some invisible monster from a cheap Japanese movie, breathing fire and death all the way.

Fionn , so glad to see you back in the forum proper, you kilt wearing poodle walker! I've wanted to test my mettle against you for years. I'll even write a turn by turn AAR on this if you’re so disposed. Consider the gauntlet thrown down.

[Boo Radley]

Originally posted by R_Leete:

And Boo Hoo... <small>incoherent mumblings, gap-toothed rants, vapid, meaningless threats, inane drooling, impotent fist waving, schoolyard taunts...<small>

I'm sorry, were you saying something? Why don't you walk the walk Ar_leene, and send me a move? I wish to floss my teeth with your veins.

[Patchy]

The Übergnome (also known as Seany-babe) decided that the Justiciar's leg would be an ideal spot to perch upon to recite his long-winded stories. The constant tone caused Joe to quickly nod off into a deep sleep. Berli, who had quite his fill of the Bard's stories, crept up behind him, picked him up, carried him out of the house with him babbling all the way and placed him in the garden where he would bother no one except maybe a pink flamingo.

Persephone

[Yeknodathon]

Originally posted by R_Leete:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Yeknodathon:

Seany-babe, {lots of foolish requests}

Seany-babe?! This is my liege you're talking about here. The Bard is above your station, you miserable, mad mule. Try macerating your head, you assidious ass. I am here to defend his honor (okay, point taken. It isn't much of a defence, either) from the likes of you! More lurking and less droning, if you please. If not, you know the drill. I'll give you a hint: it starts with SOD OFF .

</font>

[Yeknodathon]

Originally posted by Diceman:

Rumors of my death have been greatly exaggerated. What you didn't notice I was gone? That's O.K., neither did I.

Yeknodathon continues to be lost in the fog, at least for the most part. One trigger happy squad has exposed my position, and artillery is walking its way toward me like some invisible monster from a cheap Japanese movie, breathing fire and death all the way.

Received a letter from somewhere near an airfoce base:

Dear Auntie Yeknod

Feel much better after the steroids you kindly sent. I do wish I can come back but as you said, its best for all concerned that my chest recovers. Funny 'ole steroids, they do make me laugh! Just a few more days to go.

Must thank you very much for all the wonderful support. Do you think Joe has missed me? I doubt it knowing that, in your capable hooves, this enforced absence was necessary to sort out my mind and regain a semblance of moral integrity. I shall never slap on a latex rubber rabbit suit ever again.

I don't know what I'd have done without you, and I'll do anything you ask without question, as Joe requested when I first departed

Thanks again,

Mr Nibbles aka the Wandering Quire

Yeknod Mono-drone de Lurk

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by Michael Dorosh:

Now, now, Fiona, it is not merely tradition, but a requirement....or so I thought; of course, I am just an Outerboarder so take that with a grain of salt. For what it's worth, the Outer Board hates you too.

Seanachai, I thought you were merely being self-effacing when you called yourself a worthless git. I see you meant it. I realize that weeks of waiting for a turn from a 'Pooler is also tradition, but pleeeez.....

Alright, Grog Dorosh, alright. You're properly anxious now. The psychological game is done, and we can begin the real game. Turns to follow at something like a normal pace.

Good gods, was that Fionn posting?! I shall have to come back here later when I'm coherent and check again.

[Simon Fox]

Originally posted by Fionn:

I know it is traditional to say something witty here ( or at least something you all think is witty) but:

a) you wouldn't get it,

none of you are worth the hassle.

You forgot:

c) could barely scrape the wit together to recognize you weren't up to the task.

[Simon Fox]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

Good gods, was that Fionn posting?! I shall have to come back here later when I'm coherent and check again.

Don't bother, we don't have that much time.

[Leeo]

I feel ill (and it's not from the normal fetid stench that permeates this place).

The Grog-Prime posts, "Lookee, lookee, I'm back," and you bunch of snot-nosed sycophants can hardly undo your belt-buckles fast enough.

"Ooo, I'll bend over for you Fionn!"

"Do me next, Fionn."

"Look, I've dropped my gauntlet, could you please pick it up for me Fionn?"

You sniveling pack of slack-jawed sycophants are racing to see whom can first present their grog-swollen, blue and pink posteriors to Fionn for his pleasure. You make me want to hurl (and it's not just the malt liquor speaking), you yapping pack of Fionn yes-girls.

Well <big>I</big>, for one, don't want to play a game with you, Fionn. I wouldn't play you if you were the last fetid cretin in this effervescing methane pond, you wild man from the wilderness.

I will, however, make a fortune selling knee-pads to those bent (snigger) on abasing themselves to get a spot on his dance card.

Feh. Fie. (and Fo Fum too, you maroons.)

[AUSSIEJEFF]

Originally posted by Simon Fox:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Fionn:

I know it is traditional to say something witty here ( or at least something you all think is witty) but:

a) you wouldn't get it,

none of you are worth the hassle.

You forgot:

c) could barely scrape the wit together to recognize you weren't up to the task.</font>

[Guest PondScum]

Scum updates, listed in order of closeness-to-death:

Idjit Yeknod and I have exchanged clanketty things while our infantry exchange close-range greetings with three turns to go. If he's got any artillery left, it's going to be messy. If he HASN'T got any artillery left, it's going to be even messier. Did I mention that I hate that Puma in the middle?

chrisl sends a turn every Sunday. He has now decided that this isn't slow enough for him, and hence has switched to an ISP that lets him send email but not receive it. This merely postpones his inevitable loss-of-what-was-Peng's-name. If necessary I shall tattoo my turns onto the bodies of ice weasels, and send them to him at night. Shave before use.

Dalem has barely got out of the starting blocks, but is already showing just how severely undermodelled his skills are in CM. He's currently minus a lead platoon and a little clanketty thing, and that second platoon isn't looking too healthy either. Much as it pains me to say this, I must... <font size=-2>thank</font>... Lars for pointing out that mon petite liege should get the side of the cheese-eating surrender-monkeys in this one. Oh, how I laugh.

MrSpkr's aged Volksturm are busy fouling their foxholes and awaiting inevitable doom at the hands of my overly-equipped (and very wet) Tommies. The sturm boots are on the other foot in this one, and there'll be stomping aplenty before it's over.

There are a couple more who I dismiss with a wave of my hand. Peng is lost 'lo these many months. Goanna is busy overthrowing some third-world country. They will get what is due to them, should they show their ugly faces here again.

[Berlichtingen]

WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE!?

Why is this grog thread adorned with the sacred name of Peng? And, why are all you Cesspudians posting here? Where the HELL is the real Peng thread? I know this can't be it as it is full of low life scum like Grog Dorosh, Grog Fox and now we have Grog Fionn.

Btw, Aussie Jeff... Persephone pointed out to me today that I haven't been *KICKING* you enough lately.

Which drunken, idiot knight does Boo belong to?