One Peng to rule them all, one Peng to challenge them ...

[Slapdragon]

Originally posted by PondScum:

But because you care so much about my tanks, and because you exhibit the proper attitude towards ManU "supporters", you'll find another little setup in your inbox called "The Destruction Of The 112th". I, as ever*, play the French, while you play the role of the 112th.

*Oh yes, I still curse my liege.

Do me a favor Noba. Crush his cockroach for me. And while you are at it, remember you are of the dark lineage of Berli Mkatrig, the horned one. You are doing very well young grasshopper.

[ February 05, 2002, 07:13 PM: Message edited by: Slapdragon ]

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by Persephone:

Oh Peng, where art thou?

Cesspoolers, have you all forgotten about Peng? The person for whom this thread is named? Will anyone help to bring Peng home?

Berli is too satisfied with having more power with one less Olde One.

Seanachai is too busy with his new Donkey romance and his sissy fight with Slapdragon.

Please, somebody fix or do somefink!

Persephone

Fear not, dear Persephone, I have not abandoned the Peng.

Chrisl has not only my return setup, but the first turns have been exchanged, and I am advancing on his positions even now.

The good...er, well, the established name of Peng will be won back.

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by dalem:

Uh, WAIT A DAMNED MINUTE.

Slap,I am the one who is currently annoying the Motormouth with bad versifying. Pick your own idiom. I can't even get a return setup out of him. You'd think he'd go for it, since it's another excuse for him to type a thousand words.....

Were you versifying, Dalem? I assumed you were repeating my name over and over in an attempt to focus on who you were playing.

Versifying normally involves verses, rather than the simple repetition of one word over and over.

Unless, of course, you're Philip Glass. Then you may carry on until slapped.

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by Lars:

ATTENTION!!!

To all my gamey Cesspool Opponents,

I will be out of the country Feb 6.

Really, Lars?

Perhaps Hanns, Shandorf, Dalem and I should go over and check your house for you while you're gone. Just to make sure no psychotic acts of mindless vanadalism are committed while you're gone, leaving your house trashed and stripped of all valuables, obscenities painted on every wall, and roadkill hung in every room.

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by YK2:

...why I would just grab him by his short and curlies, and demand he give PENG back his name, and if he refused to do so, then I would just cut them off and send him to join the other Eunichs with nothing but a small band aid for comfort...

Women are so much more...direct, than we are.

We post challenges, and arrange duels, and discourse upon honour.

The Fair Sex is...well, scary, actually.

[Seanachai]

Well, now we have Sledge59 and Croda offering to leap into the fray, and Persephone threatens Chrisl in her own way.

The whole bloody name of Peng thing is becoming some sort of Grail Quest.

For myself, I just hope I make it to Castle Anthrax.

[Slapdragon]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Lars:

ATTENTION!!!

To all my gamey Cesspool Opponents,

I will be out of the country Feb 6.

Really, Lars?

Perhaps Hanns, Shandorf, Dalem and I should go over and check your house for you while you're gone. Just to make sure no psychotic acts of mindless vanadalism are committed while you're gone, leaving your house trashed and stripped of all valuables, obscenities painted on every wall, and roadkill hung in every room.</font>

[Joe Shaw]

The Justicar At The Bar

The outlook wasn't brilliant for the CessPool team that day;

The Justicar had done his best but it might not win the play;

For Lawyer pulled out all the stops, he lied, bribed and cheated,

He'd do it all, just to see, the Justicar defeated.

The jury had grown restless, with too much of a good thing;

They'd had a surfeit, so it seemed, of the stenographic fling.

How bravely our Lord Lorak stood up under the stress,

Of the weighty and substantial charms beneath Miss Rose's dress.

And as she shifted, yet again, and crossed a shapely limb,

The eyes of Lorak seemed to cross, and tears began to brim.

And it was then, upon that sight, that a plan so full of guile,

Formed in the mind of the Justicar, that he began to smile.

As Lawyer prosed yet on and on, back teeth began to float,

The Justicar waved Bailiff o'er and handed him a note.

The eyes of Lars widened, he tumbled to the plot,

And he slipped out from the courtroom, then broke into a trot.

Lawyer finally finished and sat down with curled lip sneer,

A full acquital of his lads was bought for price so dear.

Cash had been dispensed, it seemed, and paid to one and all,

The guilty then would both be free and mighty Peng would fall

Then from the throats of those assembled was heard a lusty roar,

It rumbled through the CessPool and scared the outerboard.

The grogs they hid behind a glacis, or fled in armored car,

For at last the noble Justicar was advancing on the bar.

There was ease in Joe Shaw's manner as he walked to his place;

There was pride in Joe Shaw's bearing, a smile upon his face,

And when, responding to the cheers, he waved a lit cigar,

'Twas clear to all assembled, twas the Justicar At The Bar.

He waited then, for just a moment, 'till each and every eye,

Was focused there on only him, to wait on his reply.

"May it please the CessPool," he began in honeyed voice,

"It seems that I've neglected, to give Your Lordship choice!"

"A choice?" asked Lorak warily, for he knew of no such thing,

"What choice is now before me, but the fate of he named Peng?"

And then the doors reopened, and Lars re-entered then,

And said, "Milord, it's all prepared, shall the video begin?"

"The video?" asked Lorak, confusion on his face,

"What video is this Sir Joe, how bears it on the case?"

"All will be clear, My Lordship, if I may just proceed?"

The Justicar responded, and Lorak did agree.

The lights were dimmed and on the screen the video took shape,

The camera in the courtroom, had caught it all on tape.

Lord Lorak's eyes drifting, from Lawyer to Miss Rose,

As she heaved a sigh and he could see, from her neck down to her toes.

And wriggling round and round and round, there upon his thighs,

She was primed and ready, for whatever might arise.

And Lorak could be noted, to ensure that she not slip,

To grasp and grope with hand or two around her perfect hips.

"Stop the tape!" cried Lorak aloud, the crowd responded, "NO!"

They who'd suffered bombastic prose, deserved a little show.

But the Justicar raised a hand and the video suddenly ceased,

The lights came back and with the lights the crowd's wrath was released

But Justicar cut through the noise with voice that thundered loud,

"This disrespect for Lord Lorak, it's simply not allowed.

Lord Lorak's labored long and hard, this trial to oversee,

Is he to be derided for the girl upon his knee?"

"It's not as if," continued he, " these scenes be viewed by all.

'tis a matter to be held, close within these walls.

And none should dare to e'en suggest that his spouse he'd cheat upon

What WAS her name again milord ... ah yes, the fair C'est Bon.

'twould be a shame, a pity true if e'er she viewed this tape,

That leg, perhaps, just might not be the LAST bone that would break.

But, milord, you need not fret, nor worry about that fate,

The Justicar, I promise you, has each and every tape.

And now, My Lord, if pleases you, I've a case to plead,

For a verdict directed by you, and a punishment agreed.

The jury would find them guilty, that's the verdict that they'd bring,

They'd restore that which was stole, the name of he that's Peng.

And so. My Lord, I leave to you the choice that you must choose.

If Peng is to retain his name, the tapes I might just lose.

But if he isn't known as Peng and right soon too I fear,

Who knows where all those copies ... might suddenly appear.

Oh somewhere in this Pool of Cess, sadness reigns tonight,

Peng is found now nowhere, and no one fights his fight.

But you can bring him back Milord, with heart both true and stout,

And I KNOW you'll rule correctly, the Justicar has no doubt.

[ February 06, 2002, 12:13 AM: Message edited by: Joe Shaw ]

[Sledge59]

That was beautiful man. {sniff}

[Goanna]

Hmmmm, I don't see my name anywhere in there, so I think I will wait until the paperback comes out.

[OGSF]

Wha hay! Di' mah poor wee squire gi' has spotty arrse kacked aboot bah tha' glistening clump o' gobbed oop cattle snot, Pondscum? Ne'er meend, ye obviously ha' tha tactical acumen o' blanc mange, boot tha ne'er stopped Hiram fraim bein' a pilla' o' tha 'Pool (Bauhaus, raist yersailf laddie)!

Noo, ye need a quest, Yeknodathon...a quest sae mighty an' full o' glory, tha' floor lickers leek Pondscum et al cannae aspire tae at. Lessee noo.....

Rrrright! Squire Yeknod, ye quest as tae seek oot tha ancestral haim o' tha Cesspool, tha well spring o' at's spirit, tha most ancient an' fetid granite walled bog hole an' all o' Olde Christendom. Havin' foond at, tae present at tae tha assembled Olde Ones, Seniour Kannigets, Kannigets, an' assorted fetid scum.....noo, ferget tha assorted fetid scum, ain tha manner o' ye choosin'. Ah wid suggaist tha manner bae along tha leens o' a vivid an' evokative word-scape, a wee ballad af'n ye leek. Wun or more pictures o' thas hallowed place wid bae tae ye credit as waill.

Off ye gi noo, quest awah wi' ye!

Did Ah menshun Ah' kacked Leeo's spotty arrrse aboot tha stankin' map just recently? Ah did.

An' StukaNukaPukaPants as just aboot finished throwin' tha last o' has git-faced paratroopers aintae tha bonfire o' mah Uberdefence.

Rrright, tha raist o' ye kin sod off. Tha wee lassies accaipted o' course.

SirMacOberGruppenBloodyStompinSicFeuhrerBastardABCDJimmy

[dalem]

Originally posted by PondScum:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Noba:

We all know it was your weasley way to get out of a losing situation.

Indeed, I am now in a Cesspool-Style Guaranteed-No-Lose Unlike-Peng Situation. If you win, it will clearly be because you STOLE MY PASSWORD. If I win, it will clearly because I was SUPERIOR on the field of battle. Dalem, mon petite general! C'est magnifique, non?

Anyone with a quarter of a working brain doesn't play "Indians" with halftracks.

Indians? Who was playing Indians? Those halftracks were playing "machine-gun the poor buggers you tried to rush me with".

But because you care so much about my tanks, and because you exhibit the proper attitude towards ManU "supporters", you'll find another little setup in your inbox called "The Destruction Of The 112th". I, as ever*, play the French, while you play the role of the 112th.

*Oh yes, I still curse my liege.</font>

[chrisl]

Originally posted by Persephone:

You are to send me your photograph which I shall promptly desecrate.

I'll send you the picture-- it's actually on my list of things to do, but it's somewhere down after cleaning the gutters and scooping out my eyes with a grapefruit spoon.

As for The former name of the Gates-Slut- the only way anyone wrests it from me is by winning it in a CM battle. At the rate Pluto and Seanachai are going, it may be a game of CMBB...

[chrisl]

Originally posted by Sledge59:

If all else fails I plan to slaughter the little wuss myself.

Get in line. You might have to win back Seanachai's magic gnome hat and Berli's name first, though.

The battle with Seanachai has commenced, but no shots have been fired yet. Given the terrain he's going to have a tough, but not impossible task ahead.

Berli on the other hand, seems to prefer that the Gates-Pod formerly known as Peng remain condemned to his twitching xbox existence. At least that's what you'd think from the way he's sending little electronic troops to their doom.

[chrisl]

Originally posted by Croda:

I shall become a plague unleashèd upon all Cesskind.

And that would be different from your present existence in what way?

You're in line behind The Gnome and in front of Sludge, his Squire.

[Noba]

Just a quickie....but a Goody !

Sire Slapdragon,

The Gnome's head has been delivered to the tune of 66 to 34. ( I did feel a bit sorry and threw him a couple of late bones) Still, 2-1 is ok. I didn't want to queer him for his battle with WUSSLE for Peng's name. So Sire you may do as you wish, although I still have a spot in my garden for him when you have finished.

His quest against Australians is in tatters. He has won (just) only one game of late and squarely lost this key fight by a large margin. So Sod-him I say... sorry, the Donkey did that first.

Noba.

[ edit due to the spelling Nazis, and andreas - who may actually be still breathing]

[ February 06, 2002, 10:23 AM: Message edited by: Noba ]

[Slapdragon]

Originally posted by Noba:

Just a quickie....but a Goody !

Sire Slapdragon,

The Gnome's head has been delivered to the tune of 66 to 34. ( I did feel a bit sorry and threw him a couple of late bones) Still, 2-1 is ok. I didn't want to queer him for his battle with WUSSLE for Peng's name. So Sire you may do as you wish, although I still have a spot in my garden for him when you have finished.

His quest against Australians is in tatters. He has won (just) only one game of late and squarely lost this key fight by a large margin. So Sod-him I say... sorry, the Donkey did that first.

Noba.

[ edit due to the spelling Nazis, and andreas - who may actually be still breathing]

A fine trophy squire Noba . You have done well by clan Berli grasshopper. Please place the gnome by the cat litter box where its smell will at least not be noticeable. A few more notable kills such as this and a nod from our clan head, and you will soon see advancement beyond your wildest desires!

[Berlichtingen]

Originally posted by YK2:

I'm still sneering, (I mean cheering) Patch honest I am....

But like you say, Berli is getting his ass kicked, and Seanacoochie has taken on his scarlet pimpernel guise, So what's a Gal to do when faced with such hopeless wonders?

I say sod the Wussl who does he think he is anyway? I don't care if he won Pengs name fair and square, this is the bloody PENG CHALLENGE THREAD and we haven't got a PENG and if I was an olde one I sure as hell wouldn't let that mamby pamby Wussl dictate the rules to me, why I would just grab him by his short and curlies, and demand he give PENG back his name, and if he refused to do so, then I would just cut them off and send him to join the other Eunochs with nothing but a small band aid for comfort....

Yep indeed PATCH these two OLDE ONES might need a little bit of help...

And where the hell is Joe when you need him? I would have thought we could have at least relied on him to take control and makes things as they used to be..

Ahhhhhhh I remember the good olde days so well, when PENG used to sit by the fireside wearing his slippers and negligee, book in one hand, (How to lure a redhead in three easy steps) and glass of the amber nectar in the other hand.....

Ahhhh indeed, those were the days......

JOE do somefink.....

GO BERLI GO......

SEAN get your bloody finger out......

BAUHAUS sit down.......

Bring back PENG

Down with GATES-SLUT.....

Ball is in Peng's court. I have already stated that Wussl cannot hold Peng's name. All that is needed is for Peng to post to prove me right. Now Peng will probably not post just to annoy me, but that does not invalidate my initial point

[Joe Shaw]

Originally posted by Berlichtingen:

Ball is in Peng's court. I have already stated that Wussl cannot hold Peng's name. All that is needed is for Peng to post to prove me right. Now Peng will probably not post just to annoy me, but that does not invalidate my initial point

Quite right Berli, and I would add that, as Justicar, I've done my bit as well. I expect Loark to drop in shortly to confirm that Peng is still Peng and always will be since the defeat that caused the loss of his name was clearly fraudulent and therefore invalid. So, not only do we have a fate accomplice by the Olde Ones, we'll have a solid legal foundation to the ruling as well.

As you say, it's likely that Peng will refrain from posting because ... well, he's Peng, but that doesn't change the fact that he IS Peng and no amount of no posting will render that fact null and void.

Pity we can't punish Goanna more strictly, chrisl, after all, is just an innocent (in the intellectual sense of the word) led astray ... sort of a CessPool Taliban. But after all Goanna is from Australia so I'm not sure we COULD punish him more than that.

Joe

[Herr Oberst]

Originally posted by Croda:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by YK2:

So what's a Gal to do when faced with such hopeless wonders?

What is this?

A Damsel in distress?

In need of a Champion?

This is a job for SooperCroda!!!!!

</font>

[jshandorf]

Hey, this is addressed to the members of Cess-Air.

Are we flying tonight? Sorry, Ihaven't been around but I picked up Medal of Honor a few days ago and I have been playing that in the evenings. So, if we are flying tonight I will be in the Hyper lobby looking for ya guys.

Jeff

[bauhaus]

Originally posted by Noba:

Just a quickie....

Nah, too easy.

[Patchy]

Originally posted by jshandorf:

Hey, this is addressed to the members of Cess-Air.

Are we flying tonight? Sorry, Ihaven't been around but I picked up Medal of Honor a few days ago and I have been playing that in the evenings. So, if we are flying tonight I will be in the Hyper lobby looking for ya guys.

Jeff

Wrong thread pillock!

[Guest PondScum]

Originally posted by jshandorf:

Are we flying tonight? Sorry, Ihaven't been around but I picked up Medal of Honor a few days ago and I have been playing that in the evenings.

Oh Croda, HE'S AT IT AGAIN. Not one, but two. Two! He's now playing and advertising TWO Other Games. Who let this impostor in here?! WHERE IS THE LAW?

[Feckin' UBB]

[ February 06, 2002, 02:02 PM: Message edited by: PondScum ]

[Joe Shaw]

Originally posted by jshandorf:

Hey, this is addressed to the members of Cess-Air.

Then perhaps you might address it to the Cess Patrol forum on the Sim HQ site. Sim HQ IL-2 Forum This forum was used to announce the presence of such a creature but not more than that. Get your games straight jshandorf!

Are we flying tonight?

Probably not, oh there may be people on the HL that TRY to fly but based on past experience the odds aren't too great that they'll succeed. Nothing firm scheduled in any case.

Sorry, Ihaven't been around but I picked up Medal of Honor a few days ago and I have been playing that in the evenings.

The more fool you then. Pity they don't have canteens and first aid kits in CM don't you think guys?

So, if we are flying tonight I will be in the Hyper lobby looking for ya guys.

Well I won't be there, I'll be in Denver probably freezing my butt off, not that it's much warmer here in Salt Lake of course.

Joe