Peng, I Challenge you to a breathalyzer test

[Stalin's Organ]

Originally posted by Mace:

You can always replace a SUV, but you can't replace a MrSpkr.

Why would you want to replace either?

Profound, huh?

Only in Australia.

[Mace]

Stalin ionovich Organ, you don't know how proud we are of you!

You've delivered a whole post without a spelling mistake. *sniff*

Mace

[Boo Radley]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

It is a movie rife with significance for you lot, given that it involves the touching Christmas Eve story of three murderers escaped from Devil's Island, intent on robbing and killing a naive and innocent family in order to make their final escape back to the Continent.

Only Ustinov and Ray were murderers. Bogart was an embezzler.

[Nidan1]

Is this the Siskel and Ebert thread....whoops no!

Isn't one of them dead?

Total War Update: Panty Leader has set his defense on an island cliff. As my facist, aryan killers approach, more and more of his pitiful forces come into view and are shortly dispatched to the great collective in the sky.

This one should end badly for him.

[ December 11, 2002, 08:10 AM: Message edited by: Nidan1 ]

[Patchy]

Originally posted by Hakko Ichiu:

Well, possums, I'm back, and I can't say that I've missed any of you. The power came on approx. 18:20 EDT today, after I had spent $800 cash and hours of my valuable time procuring and installing a household generator. I'd love to say that little encoded packages of Death, Doom, and Destruction will be winging their ways to my various opponents forthwith, but frankly I have more important things to do - brush my cat, for instance. There's also the matter of the two dozen or so large trees still needing to be chain-sawed and stacked, and figuring out how I'm going to be able to afford all the stuff the insurance won't pay for. You have to laugh. I take solace in the fact that it could have been much worse, and maintain perspective by recognizing that for many it is.

And when despair started creeping over me like a wet, moldy blanket, I found refuge in the undying hatred that I have for all of you. They can take away my power, they can tear my roof, smash my car, max out my MasterCard™, and cover my hands in petroleum rash, but they can't take away my hatred.

Toodles.

Hakko Ichiu, Sorry about what has happened...hope things are getting better for you and your family.

Persephone

[Patchy]

Originally posted by MrSpkr:

Depression strikes again.

Sometimes you are cruising down this road we call life at a smooth 80 mph, and a bloody deer jumps out in front of you.

You then have a split second to react: A: swerve the SUV, rolling it and killing or severely maiming yourself or B: hit the damn deer, totalling the SUV, wrenching your neck, marring your face with the deployed airbag (and incidentally giving Lars some sort of trophy to take home and feel all warm and fuzzy inside).

And sometimes you can just open the door and roll out of the vehicle (unless you forgot to unfasten your seatbelt, in which case see instance B above and add road rash to the list of damages).

Worst of all, sometimes you can just wake up, realize this is as good as it gets, and wonder why God has such a twisted sense of humor.

I hate you all, but none so much as myself.

Steve

MrSpkr, hope you are alright.

Persephone

[Boo Radley]

Originally posted by Hiram Sedai:

This is just sad! I did not create this thread so you bonehead, brain-dead Peng sycophants would trade witty one liners. This is not the Comedy Club hour complete with silly pictures. I’m starting to understand a bit of the frustration that Meeks had. I may be stepping off that precipice into dementia after all. There was a time when opening the Peng thread made ones heart ache with the awe-inspiring prose and depth of emotion. Visitors were brutally beaten and tossed out onto the street. Hell, everyone was beaten.

That was when the Peng thread had quality members and not parrots that fawn after senior knights. Senior Knights – that’s a laugh!

You stupid little squires disgust me. The whole idea of knights and squires were a bad idea anyway. None of you are worthy to clean my codpiece. Don’t you realize that they expect something more from us that what we are delivering on a daily basis?

Step up to the plate and spew some venom. Use me as a target then. Let me know what you really think of me. Or, you can use Joe Shaw again in that he is such an easy target. Let’s talk about how he was so lonely and friendless that he decided to fly to the crazy Australian who speaks like he’s Scottish house just so he could be in a picture with someone.

If you’re going to post in here, earn the right…or go away.

Oh Boo-Fecking-Hoo! After reading this whinging, mewling piece of self indulgent little poots, I realized that I am so happy that we're in a battle together and just about to really start mixing it up. This will give me the opportunity to finally, FINALLY use your intestines for dental floss, or if they are too foetid, perhaps using them to garrote you.

What IS your problem? Overdose of Hostess Ding-Dongs? Finally realized the sheer absurdity of your existance as you attempt to peel your least disgusting pair of dingy, grey Fruit-Of-The-Loom briefs off the bedroom wall, hoping that this pair has at least a bit of elasticity left, so you aren't forever attempting to hold them up as you stand outside the bus shelter, trying to ignore the horrified stares of innocent schoolchildren.

You make Aqualung look like Bishop Fulton J. Sheen.

[dalem]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

As a side note, and in the proper Holiday spirit, I want to point out to you lot that one of the best 'Christmas' movies ever done is 'We're No Angels', starring Humphrey Bogart, Peter Ustinov, and Aldo Ray.

You old guys like weird movies.

[Lars]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

He's a simple, conservative Son of Minnesota. He spends most of his time during the warm months cruising by the homes of extremely rich people on his boat, and pissing over the side at them while they eat dinner with their children.

I understand he even 'waves' it at them.

Such a nice young man.

Bast*rd.

You know it's four and a half months till ice out.

It's just not the same on a snowmobile.

Send a feckin turn.

SSN Hint Of The Day: Develop a truly tasteless foul mouth.

Now sod off.

[Lars]

Originally posted by MrSpkr:

You then have a split second to react: A: swerve the SUV, rolling it and killing or severely maiming yourself or B: hit the damn deer, totalling the SUV, wrenching your neck, marring your face with the deployed airbag (and incidentally giving Lars some sort of trophy to take home and feel all warm and fuzzy inside).

Always hit the deer.

You wouldn't believe what some of the people I've pulled out of the ditch have looked like.

[chrisl]

Originally posted by Lars:

Always hit the deer.

Spoken like a true midwesterner-- you probably always have a trunk full of plastic and a big knife so you can take your roadkill home for dinner.

I hope you're ok Steve-- deer are starting to be like killer rats.

[Berlichtingen]

Originally posted by MrSpkr:

A: swerve the SUV, rolling it and killing or severely maiming yourself or B: hit the damn deer, totalling the SUV, wrenching your neck, marring your face with the deployed airbag (and incidentally giving Lars some sort of trophy to take home and feel all warm and fuzzy inside).

Now there's a tough decision: A - rid the world of yet another Texan

or

B - kill a poor deer that was doing it's civic duty in taking another of those oversized, gas sucking, pieces of ****e off the road.

Given that you're posting, I'd have to venture a guess that you chose the less appropriate choice. No surprise there I guess. Texans are the only people that can make Australians look smart

[Berlichtingen]

Originally posted by dalem:

You old guys like weird movies.

Shaddup hippie

Aren't you late getting in line for Lucas' next great movie?

[Lars]

Originally posted by chrisl:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Lars:

Always hit the deer.

Spoken like a true midwesterner-- you probably always have a trunk full of plastic and a big knife so you can take your roadkill home for dinner.

I hope you're ok Steve-- deer are starting to be like killer rats.</font>

[chrisl]

Originally posted by Lars:

You, or the deer?

[Hortlund]

Wouldnt it be a good idea to cover all the roads in the US with fox pee? That way the deer wont ever find the roads = no more accidents.

Pzleader, do you owe me a setup or did I dream that?

[Panzer Leader]

Hortlund you meatball gorging, really-thin pancake glutton, what makes you think I would deign (not Dane, you ninny) to play some-one of your ilk (not elk)??

Actually I make it a standard to not play any-one of double my member number or more (let's see 4899*2=9798 - ha you're lucky there!)

Anyhow, can't you see I am in the midst of tearing Boo's straw house down to the foundation of caked feces? I have but to toss in a match and him and all his squires will swirl into the smoke of despair.

Not only that, but I am also in the midst (again) of teaching OGSF (finally I hope) that I am indeed his Combat Mission Deity. Of course there are a handfull of lesser games (Snarker - losing; Leeo - losing; Marlow - losing badly) did I forget anyone? Good.

Not only that, but Dalem, knowing his minor victory was brought about by a combination of a cheating AI, and one of those pills you drop in someone's drink to make them forget everything and lose their inhibitions, has meekly requested another game, prolly to prove his honest incapability to me.

And then we round back to Boo Radly. Having chosen, the gameist, ugliest piece of ****E ever (and it was an operation to boot!) to stave off the eventual destruction of his straw shanty, after the first ten-round battle, EVEN HE found the thing to obnoxious to continue, so I have to flail him mercilessly AGAIN! Can you believe it??

Then there was my unanswered challenge to the man with a Hairshirt in his closet, Hiram, but I honestly don't see that going anywhere's

And now, Lo, we come to little lieutenant Hortland. Where do you fit into this rigourous schedule? That's right, you don't. Unless you can prove to me why I might stoop to playing you, I think you'd better stick with coming up with more "Great Ideas!" for HoI v1.02. Thanx! Come again!

Oh, and yes it was a dream, or more like a poor episode of Fantasy Island that I was sending you a set-up. The only thing you'll get from me is

[Lars]

Originally posted by Leutnant Hortlund:

Wouldnt it be a good idea to cover all the roads in the US with fox pee? That way the deer wont ever find the roads = no more accidents.

It wasn't a problem until they outlawed drinking and driving.

All those rednecks drinking beer and putting out scent kept the deer off the roads.

{edited due to hunger, must be time for lunch}

[ December 11, 2002, 12:26 PM: Message edited by: Lars ]

[Marlow]

Originally posted by Panzer Leader:

Marlow - losing badly

Feh. Exactly how many of my guys have you managed to kill? How many of my tanks have you managed to destroy? Zero. Nada. Ziltch. If you were indeed Guderian, the war would have been over in 1941. You on the other hand are on the recieving end of a game of HE catch that doesn't seem to be going very well for you.

[Boo Radley]

Originally posted by Panzer Leader:

Anyhow, can't you see I am in the midst of tearing Boo's straw house down to the foundation of caked feces? I have but to toss in a match and him and all his squires will swirl into the smoke of despair.

Oh, we of the House Morse/Croda/Whatever are going to put such a hurting on you, you'll be forced to wear corrective shirts for the rest of your misbegotten, pointless life.

Even now, my faithfull squires tell me, in harmony no less, that your end in nigh, or near, or somewhere really close by. So close, that if you turn sharply, you'll probably hit it with your elbow, knocking it to the floor, shattering it and the salesperson then intones, "You broke it, you bought it."

W3 0wnz j00!

[dalem]

Originally posted by Berlichtingen:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by dalem:

You old guys like weird movies.

Shaddup hippie

Aren't you late getting in line for Lucas' next great movie?</font>

[Marlow]

Originally posted by dalem:

I'm all a-tingle at the prospect of another Star Trek movie this weekend - could be good, could be bad, you never know.

Waiting for the new Star Trek movie? I think the reviews are already coming in.

[Snarker]

Originally posted by Hiram Sedai:

Your plea to have spewage poured on you is pathetic - reminds me of the maschocist begging the sadist to beat him. I'm tempted give you the same answer - NO!

But you don't want one liners, do you? You want to be slapped silly and left in the gutters of New Jersey, lowering the property value of said gutter. Fine - I despise you on many levels. But one will suffice here.

We in Monroe county, Pennsylvania actually had to amend our liquor laws because you drunken sots from NY and NJ can't even do that right, "Oh, we're too feckin' stupid to purchase enough hard liquor on Friday to last through Sunday. Cater to my sorry, useless, pompous needs." Sod off in your own backyards!

Gits.

No, let's not target Joe, let's pity him. Giving him pity will surely hurt more than insults. I will continue to hate him for no good reason, even though he called me 'cheeky'.

Let's flog OGSF for being inconsiderate enough to burst our collective bubbles. After veiwing the pictures, I'm having a difficult time thinking of him as "Fat Bastard" anymore. I'll forever despise him for that.

Loopy Aussie.

PL, I hate you because you are beating me to a pulp. Don't feel good about that though; I would hate you even if you weren't.

Mike's Organ - ditto for you, you gamey, key-holeing bastiche. Try to stop the clankety things and running things from reversing the situation.

And to the rest, (save the Ladies of this pool):

Malakas!

[Hakko Ichiu]

All your concern has touched me deeply, although in a Croda-like, psychologically scarring, can't-keep-my-food-down kind of way.

It could all have been a lot worse. My wife's boss (in one of her professional incarnations) won't have power until Saturday at the earliest. They'll probably come over here and stay at our place. Don't know what we'll do about their 400 lb. golden retriever with the IQ of a dalem.

Anyone interested in seeing a few pics of the damage can click here. That long, protruding thing in the bottom photo is not a Yeknod, but a tree branch that violated the sanctity of the office of She Who Must Be Obeyed.

---

Squeaked by Mace:You can always replace a SUV, but you can't replace a MrSpkr.

Especially on those Japanese models. Finding spares is tough.

Heal up quick, Steve.

[Marlow]

Originally posted by Sneezy:

Don't know what we'll do about their 400 lb. golden retriever with the IQ of a dalem.

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />

Does it at least have ears?

Anyone interested in seeing a few pics of the damage can click here.</font>