Will Peng Challenge the Doodads?

[Hamstersss]

Originally posted by Boo_Radley:

He talk you into watching "Lost in Space" with him?

Is that what they're calling that idiotic pablum these days? When I saw it, it was parading around as a prequel to the admittedly cool, fun and not at all bland as a tofu burger Star Wars. If I ever see Attack of the Clones again, I can only hope it's through the sights of an industrial grade flamethrower.

(Edited to increase the number of racial slurs, epithets and a missing slash, of Croda's tires)

[ May 20, 2002, 08:23 PM: Message edited by: Elijah Meeks ]

[The_Capt]

Dear Peng,

I tried to show the beings which rest in your lower intestine the way and the light but they would not hear your words.

I cam to be their King and Savior but they simply stared hollow eyed and dumb, like the cattle of the field. Perhaps too long enjoying your noxious gas has left them addle and slow.

Perhaps I need to perform some miracles in order to swing their narrow minds in a new direction. I pray you can give me strength to carry on.

I must also say that their sad attempts at witty responses fell far short. It was painful really to watch these poor creatures try and string something decent to throw back in your humble prophets direction. Not unlike watching a howler monkey attempting advance math..eventually they give up and just start screeching while throwing **** in a general direction.

I admit I was under the influence when I attempted to bring them into the light, perhaps the Demon Drink was my downfall.

I will continue to meditate and be your undeserving servant so that one day this Thread may rule them all.

May the razor wit and prose flow from my fingers and into the loins of thine enemies.

May their bellies bloat with the gas of your righteous indignation.

May those that follow your words and light forever be blessed and walk in the path of light and hope. May they gird themselves with humour and depth of intelligence.

May you shine upon us and cast a dark red blood boiling glare on those who stand before us..Ahmen

[Hamstersss]

Originally posted by The_Capt:

Dur dee dur dur, dur dee dur dur... dur!

Dur dee dur, dur dee dur dee dur, dur dee durrrr.

All right, where to start, the dumb name? What's been stopping you from creating a new, linguistically attractive name The_Capt? Low member number? Improperly sized genitalia? Lack of capacity among your various mitochondria? Another thing, well, not really another but the same thing, only applied differently, your constantly annoying and universially ignored (I was voted by the various powers to represent the bile-producing sub-cochel region of the Pool, so unfortuneately, this means I'm legally required to read your crapass posts) ramblings are A) without creativity, Without funny, C) Without grammar propuli and D) Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb.

Get it?

No, didn't think so, let me speak language you grok:

Boring-ass post not appreciated! Please edit boring ass posts, cut out boring ****e, place boring ****e into text file, E-mail text file to your colon, and choke on your own foul nonsense. Thank you, next in line please.

The Peng Challenge Thread is America's Cesspool.

[Stuka]

Shouldn't 'savior' have a 'u' in it?

[Leeo]

Originally posted by The_Craptain:

I cam to be their King and Savior

A finer case for crucifixion has not presented itself for nigh on 2000 years.

I pray you can give me strength to carry on.

I pray you contract an obnoxious intestinal disease which precludes you from sitting at your computer.

I must also say that their sad attempts at witty responses fell far short.

As short, perhaps, as your attention span?

screeching while throwing **** in a general direction.

Kinda reminds one of your "roll me over and dip me in flour, I'll take all comers," attempt at a challenge, eh?

one day this Thread may rule them all.

A day late and a couple of million short, as they say.

from my fingers and into the loins of thine

Really, just keep your lecherous fingers to yourself, 'kay?

righteous indignation.

You've finally described the MBT's rightful response to your insipid flailings.

a dark red blood boil

Okay, this bit of advice is a freebie. You really should have that looked at.

Go away. Don't go away mad, just go away.

[Lurkur]

This should prove both annoying to you all as well as put a little more space between The_Capt's last post and something of moderate entertainment value. Okay, a report as threatened from the quick match that the Justickitthere set up for his snitch love poodle Harv and myself.

GARN I hates them both!

In the setup phase there were bombs and artillery shells suspended in the air, like one of those old Twilight Zone episodes where time stopped. After I closed my eyes and pressed the "Go" button all hell broke loose!

Spoiler Alert--------

Joe Shaw is a really big booger head

Okay, you can look again. The result was complete chaos, twisted metal, screams and dead bodies everywhere, as the jabos wheeled overhead, screeching like demons on the day of the judgement. Everything was destroyed or being destroyed. The earth looked like a big, bleeding dirt waffle.

Then it was time for turn 2...

I will consider it a supreme victory if I can get the wind to blow the remaining sub-atomic particles of my troops and tanks across the exit zone. I will post one more AAE (After Action Excuse) at the end of this farce. Until then, Harv has my pity and scorn, and Mssr. Shaw, after that half-arsed set up, I can only think of your squire and yourself as the pillock and the buttock.

Pah!

[AUSSIEJEFF]

Originally posted by Berlichtingen:

Even the wind is still in the Wasteland. All is silent... silent as the grave. A figure cloaked in darkness sits alone, toying with the last, dying ember of the fire.

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />"Hmmm...."

"Too quiet without that capering idiot and too nice without Peng."

"Even the return of Meeks falls flat..."

"Not nearly as vicious as he used to be."

"No point remaining now"

"Must remember to post this letter to Lorak telling him to Make AussieJeff a Knight.

The figure stands and stides off into the darkness leaving... nothing</font>

[Joe Shaw]

Spoiler Alert--------

=Joe Shaw is a really big booger head

=Okay, you can look again. The result was complete chaos, twisted metal, screams and dead bodies everywhere, as the jabos wheeled overhead, screeching like demons on the day of the judgement. Everything was destroyed or being destroyed. The earth looked like a big, bleeding dirt waffle.

Then it was time for turn 2...

And another satisfied customer of Ker Dessel*.

The_Corp doesn't seem to get it does he ... Good.

Joe

posted in haste from lovely downtown City of Industry, California in a room with a lovely view of the golf course on which they filmed Caddy Shack.

* Ker Dessel - When You Want To Play CM In The Worst Way

[chrisl]

Originally posted by The_Capt:

The history of this challenge was not to provide an exclusive club to a collection of sexually frustrated nerds but was to provide an open playground to any and all who wished to be free from the PC niceness and seriousness living in the outer boards.

BUT you have taken than and turned it into a private club complete with silly rules and ranking system.

My open challenge was to bring everybody out and attempt to bring The Cesspool to where it once was and now so sorely has fallen away. I guess I lack that power because you cannot push a rope so to speak.

Open challenges didn't work in the original, naturally scented, organic, no artificial flavors, colors, or other additives, unspindled, unfolded, mutilated cesspool. They still don't work in the supersized, oven-fresh, artifically flavored, contains no natural ingredients cesspool.

pi) Pick someone (e.g. pondscum, though I haven't noticed him around lately). Pick someone low on the totem pole, because if you aren't going to finish a game and send some good emails back and forth with an occasional interim action report the only time wasted is that of someone who will immediately post in the pool what a loser you are, when everyone else already knew it anyway.

e) Pick out an annoying feature of his personality (e.g. he works for the real antichrist, not some cheap-ass pretender like Berli, who thinks that because he knows the words to Sympathy for the Devil he gets to party with Mick) or, if you can't figure out an annoying feature of his personality, make one up. But make it good-- none of this "Pondscum eats vegemite on tuesdays for breakfast" crap. Make up something good. Be creative-- it's in that little turnip head of yours somewhere. Ok.

1/137) Now that you've got that, focus in on the annoying feature and go on a tirade. Use colorful language. Pretend you're Meeks, or better, pretend you're Meeks' Sister. Cut loose.

hbar) They don't respond? Look for another opening and strike again. Drag someone else into it.

That will probably get you a game. If it doesn't then at least we might have something better to read for a few milliseconds.

Or, here's a better idea-- go away and mope.

(edited because UBB couldn't print an option-p as a proper pi)

[ May 21, 2002, 02:00 AM: Message edited by: chrisl ]

[Mace]

Originally posted by Herr Oberst:

Mace, did you fart again???

If I did, you'd hear it from over there, so...no!

Mace

PS Tuesday was even better than Monday!

[Mace]

Originally posted by Elijah Meeks:

The Peng Challenge Thread is America's Cesspool.

Meeks you daft nong!

The Cesspool is the effluent of all nations!

Mace

[AUSSIEJEFF]

Just in case any of you sorry lot never even knew what an Seanachai was in reality, here is an informative link for you's edumakayshun:

http://www.anseanachai.com/party_nites.htm

I do hope you try playing the ultra hi-res QT moofie that shows the <U>real</U> bard having a fiddle.

No wonder he left this place for that.......

AJ

{Knight Errant to the House of Berli}

[AUSSIEJEFF]

Originally posted by Mace:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Elijah Meeks:

The Peng Challenge Thread is America's Cesspool.

Meeks you daft nong!

The Cesspool is the effluent of all nations!

Mace</font>

[Boo Radley]

Originally posted by Lurkur:

GARN I hates them both!

Garn??? What is this, pretend you're a pirate day?

In the setup phase there were bombs and artillery shells suspended in the air, like one of those old Twilight Zone episodes where time stopped. After I closed my eyes and pressed the "Go" button all hell broke loose!

Okay, you can look again. The result was

complete chaos, twisted metal, screams and dead bodies everywhere, as the jabos wheeled overhead, screeching like demons on the day of the judgement. Everything was destroyed or being destroyed. The earth looked like a big, bleeding dirt waffle.

Then it was time for turn 2...

Pah!

See? Don't say I didn't warn you. Playing "Jabos! is sort of like having bees live inside your head. Except louder.

And speaking of scenarios from hell, if The Carp ever does figure out how this whole thing works and does find a sucker, er, ah...I mean opponent, I think they should be sent Crodaburg to play. Why? It lasts such a long, long time and it's just chock full of wholesome goodness.

[AUSSIEJEFF]

Originally posted by Simon Elwen:

<SNIP> Other stuff ......... </SNIP>

A J awaiting a turn as well

It's simple, Simon....... I'm getting a "message is delayed" response for your e-mail addy. Only yours, mind. So hop to it, lad - mend the bugger before too many aeons have passed, eh??

Then we can up the ante, as it were.......

AJ

[Guest PondScum]

Originally posted by chrisl:

Pondscum eats vegemite on tuesdays for breakfast

Vegemite, pah. I eat Marmite, the One True Yeast Extract. And not just on Tuesdays.

Also, now that I have moved to the source of the evil (aka Seattle), I find that my hatred for you is all the stronger. Unfortunately, my CMBO CD is currently in customs limbo. Therefore, you will have to beat yourself up until it arrives and I can inflict the required setup on your inbox.

[Lurkur]

Boob_Radley quipped:

Garn??? What is this, pretend you're a pirate day?

Actually, piracy is a big part of the high-paying, dangerous and cut-throat world of illustration.

And if I didn't know better I'd swear my older brothers crafted that nightmare scenario. I kept flashing back to when I was nine and they...they... oh God I can't say it!!!

And The_Crapt, you've been given more help than the average toddler watching Blue's Clues. Think hard and connect the dots.

Here, lemme poke you with this pointy stick to help you think.

[poik, poik]

any thoughts?

[poik, spluke]

ooh, sorry about the eye.

[poik, poik, poik]

anything coming to you yet?

[AUSSIEJEFF]

Originally posted by PondScum:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by chrisl:

Pondscum eats vegemite on tuesdays for breakfast

Vegemite, pah. I eat Marmite, the One True Yeast Extract. And not just on Tuesdays. <schnip> other crud..... </schnip> </font>

[AUSSIEJEFF]

And just to round out this hot debate.....

What is Vegemite?

Vegemite is considered as much a part of Australia's heritage as kangaroos and the Holden cars. It is actually an Australian obsession that has become a unique and loved symbol of the Australian nation.

A Vegemite sandwich to an Australian kid is the equivalent of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich to an American kid - but the taste is QUITE different (AJ's comment: read - MUCH better!!)!

For the rest of this American view on one of our national icons, see THIS link..... http://www.whatscookingamerica.net/History/VegemiteHistory.htm

What?? You think I'm BORED??? How could I be BORED when the whole of the northern hemisphere CM population appears to be comatose and every CM mongrel in Oz is apparently down at th' pub having abandoned their posts... gahhh!

AJ

[ May 21, 2002, 09:37 AM: Message edited by: AussieJeff ]

[Simon Elwen]

Originally posted by AussieJeff:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Simon Elwen:

<SNIP> Other stuff ......... </SNIP>

A J awaiting a turn as well

It's simple, Simon....... I'm getting a "message is delayed" response for your e-mail addy. Only yours, mind. So hop to it, lad - mend the bugger before too many aeons have passed, eh??

Then we can up the ante, as it were.......

AJ</font>

[Boo Radley]

Originally posted by PondScum:

Also, now that I have moved to the source of the evil (aka Seattle).

What? You're now living in the town which was the setting for "Here Come the Brides"???

"The prettiest sights you'll ever see are in Seattle.

Aim downwind when you have to pee, in Seattle"

I think that you'll find Seattle isn't much different from the U.K. It rains at least 365 days out of the year, to which end whenever a Seattle-ite does indeed see the sun, their first reaction is to run and hide to escape the

FIERY ORB OF DEATH. You'll see them outside in summer, trying to get a rain tan. Oh yeah, I can see you fitting right in.

[Boo Radley]

Originally posted by Lurkur:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr /> Boob_Radley quipped:

Garn??? What is this, pretend you're a pirate day?

Actually, piracy is a big part of the high-paying, dangerous and cut-throat world of illustration.

</font>

[Harv]

Originally posted by Lurkur:

Whine, whine, whine.

Whine, whine.

Whine.

Lookit here Lurkit, just because you couldn't handle the tactical situation doesn't mean you can vainly use my Liege's name. Or something.

This is a fine Ker Dessel scenario that was obviously lovingly hand-crafted for minutes and tested by nobody and I'm quite certain the author would take offence, or be very pleased, by your high pitched girly-man squeaking and blubbering noises.

And as for The_Pfc...if you don't get it, and I see that you don't get it... Go Away Lots Now...get it? I would have almost maybe possibly perhaps thought about potentially accepting a challenge from you a little bit if, and/or only if you would have actually posted something resembling or appearing to resemble a challenge.

On the other hand, thank gawd you're here 'cause you being around makes me look good.

[Lorak]

well, Been messing around with the NWN tookit beta a bit.

I decicded to do some of our *snicker* fiends...err friends.

So my first creation is Berli greeting SSN's at the door.

Oh, forgive the red grid line, I'm an idiot and forgot to cut it off... I'm not Patch damn it.

maybe I'll do a gnome next...or some sheep.

Lorak

[AUSSIEJEFF]

Originally posted by Lorak:

well, Been messing around with the NWN tookit beta a bit.

I decicded to do some of our *snicker* fiends...err friends.

So my first creation is Berli greeting SSN's at the door.

Oh, forgive the red grid line, I'm an idiot and forgot to cut it off... I'm not Patch damn it.

maybe I'll do a gnome next...or some sheep.

Lorak

Nice greeting card for SSN's you've designed there, oh Loathsome one......is that The_Conscript, 2nd from the right???

Which begs a further inquisition..... wherefore art thou in th' scheme of thingz, Faer Patch now that Berli has flown the Cesscoop?

AJ

[ May 21, 2002, 10:33 AM: Message edited by: AussieJeff ]