Oo it's get-tin' hot in here - I'm gonna take my Peng Challenge off...

[Leeo]

Gamey-Arsed Updates!

I hate you all. I hope that comforts you, Pillocks!

Panzer Leader He was upset that I brought 2 KV-2's to a knife fight in the city. He gained brief satisfaction by destroying one (note to self: do not scrape buildings with high-value armor). He has been a bit put off recently by the single dominating, immobilized KV-2 and the hordes of Russian Infantry. I can hear the fat lady warming up, and I predict a draw.

OGSF pissed and moaned about my RIGHTEOUS turn one rocket barrage upon his suspected assembly area. I knew all along it couldn't have done as much damage as he moaned about. Leave it to a Scottsman to moan about nothing. He'll likely win, but that is only due to the poor modeling of Rickets by BFC.

Moriarty, my Grand-Liege, is attacking. Seeing's as how there are currently no intact buildings, I think I am a bit late to save this town.

I'm trying to "Crack the Egg" that is Aussie Jeff's head. It is a bit like trying to crack a rock. Somehow that is fitting.

Boo Radley is a complete pillock, no doubt. He seems a bit discomfitted by a horde of Russkie second-rate tanks. That fits.

I hate the rest of you as well, but not enough to acknowledge your suckitude.

[Nidan1]

Originally posted by Boo_Radley:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Nidan1:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by YK2:

Highly recommended for bedtime viewing..

Dog Soldiers...

Boy it sure scared the **** out of me.

P.S.

Can someone leave the light on tonight!!! :eek:

Is that the one about the mercenaries? or is it a new movie with the same name?</font>

[Boo Radley]

Originally posted by Nidan1:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Boo_Radley:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Nidan1:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by YK2:

Highly recommended for bedtime viewing..

Dog Soldiers...

Boy it sure scared the **** out of me.

P.S.

Can someone leave the light on tonight!!! :eek:

Is that the one about the mercenaries? or is it a new movie with the same name?</font>

[Abbott]

From an e-mail I just received… Is it true? I do not know but it is funny!

______________________

A Charlotte, NC, lawyer purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars, then

insured them against fire among other things.

Within a month having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars and

without yet having made even his first premium payment on the policy, the lawyer filed claim against the insurance company.

In his claim, the lawyer stated the cigars were lost "in a series of small fires". The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason: that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion.

The lawyer sued... and won!

In delivering the ruling the judge agreed with the insurance company that

the claim was frivolous. The Judge stated nevertheless,

that the lawyer held a policy from the company in which it had warranted

that the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that

it would insure them against fire, without defining what is considered to

be unacceptable fire, and was obligated to pay the claim.

Rather than endure lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance company

accepted the ruling and paid $15,000.00 to the lawyer for his loss of the rare cigars lost in the "fires."

After the lawyer cashed the check, the insurance company had him arrested on 24 counts of ARSON!!!! With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case being

used against him, the lawyer was convicted of intentionally burning his insured property and was sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000.00 fine.

This is a true story and was the 1st place winner in the recent Criminal

Lawyers

Award Contest.

__________________

[Papa Khann]

Originally posted by Abbott:

yadda yadda yadda

Abbott,

Great story. Made me laugh out loud. I suspect it's all a pack of lies, mostly because lawyers are involved rather than because it's far-fetched.

Also, it sort of makes me feel like lighting Mr. Peeper on fire. Not sure why, but as that could only be a good thing, I thank you.

Papa

[Panzer Leader]

All y'all: S.A.F.T.!!!!

[Berlichtingen]

Originally posted by Walpurgis Night:

I don't understand.

Not surprising... nor do we care. Go away

[Berlichtingen]

Originally posted by Walpurgis Night:

There is a lot of interesting, usefull thought that can be found here about CM, and this constant "Peng" bull**** is always bumping the important thought down the ladder.

We really don't care what your opinion is. however, as a public service to you, i will advise you to clean your language up. As for bumping the 'important thought', which one is that? Oh mommy, the big bad StuGs are kicking my teeth in. BFC fix or do somefink ...or perhaps Here's my new grass mod... strawberry Fields Forever... maybe Infantry is weaker in CMBB because I have all the tactical skill of a turnip... a perennial favorite BFC, you're game sucks because the T-34 isn't as bad ass as it is in all the other games I play... the stick to beat a dead horse with CDV sucks and BFC sold out to them. So, which important thought did I miss?

So here's a question for you... Why is it that every month or so we have to put up with narrow minded simpletons such as yourself coming in here to tell us we should go away? Don't like the Peng threads? Then don't enter... you weren't invited anyway

[Malakovski]

Originally posted by Berlichtingen:

Yes, but why are you being so bloody nice to him?

Not going soft, I hope. You've got a village to defend, and quite a horde to defend against.

[Papa Khann]

Rather than bore the lot of you useless pillocks (Ladies of the 'Pool excepted, of course) to death with yet more gamiest of gamey updates, I thought perhaps this evening I'd try to take a slightly different approach to boring you all to death. So without further ado, I offer this, the first MBT Evening Update....

Tonight, dear readers, it appears we have:

Pantless Leader: He's taken to posting lunatic drivel that only he can hope to understand. Or in other words, nothing new to report here.

YK2: At home, eyes no doubt drooping from lack of sleep, sitting in the middle of the room with every light in the place turned on. Apparently she's had a bit too much of the jitters from having watched some "Dog Boy" movie. She also seems preoccupied with dancing penguins. Not sure how that all ties together. I just pray that it doesn't involve dalem in yet another tawdry getup. I'm still trying to recover from that whole "cat suit" incident.

Leeo: Is busy being a gamey bastiche and blowing things up.

Some SSN using a name he probably got out of a dictionary for one of the, according to him, multitude of languages he speaks: So, Walpurgis Night wants us all to go away because he doesn't like us being here, eh? I don't understand. Why don't you like me more, Walpy? Here I thought everybody likes me. In fact, I'm sure of it (well, everyone except Berli... but he hates everyone, which sort of counterbalances all the love, which when you think about it in a really twisted sort of way, is Berli's own very selfless form of love for me). Walpy, I think what your post really was is a cry for help. I know you really want to be my friend, Walpy. And I want to be your friend too. You can trust me, Walpy. I won't laugh at you or poke fun like the other kids do, Walpy. Well, ok, maybe in the 'Pool, I will. But after we get me moved into your basement, I won't taunt you or poke you with sharp sticks. At least not while you're awake.

Need1 and Boo_Rattly: Must be getting tired of the constant whuppings they've been receiving in CM and have decided to go to the movies. Sounds like they're leaning towards a Disney remake of some "Dogface Slashers" horror film. I only hope for their sake it's not starring dalem in yet another role from his "young and confused" period.

Abbott: Is surfing the Internet for lawyer porn.

BeerGut: Is stoking the fires down below, biding his time and waiting for the next one of us to make their last mistake.

Maladjusted: First ranting, then cajoling, then perfectly logical (well, as near to it as this git can come, anyway).

Persephone: Is dining in.

Lars: Is dining out. I hope all the best for him, but sadly suspect another episode of "Leisure Suit Lars".

Papa

[ October 23, 2002, 11:27 PM: Message edited by: Papa Khann ]

[Abbott]

So, which important thought did I miss? Berli

ATR rifles can’t jump.

Is anyone doing tree mods, Gardener for hire.

Winter uniforms for Soviets-Oo it’s get-tin’ hot in here.

Anyone else missing pages from manuel or teeth?

Coverd arcs on ambush and Jeb Bush’s mom is nice.

Just seen a cool thing, Walpurgis Night leaving.

Edited to be brief, ÜberGnome thing.

[ October 23, 2002, 11:34 PM: Message edited by: Abbott ]

[OGSF]

Originally posted by PondScum:

OGSF, you incomprehensible bog-trotter, once you've finished gabbling about Cemetery Hill, you can try Gefechtsaufklaerung on for size.

Andreas is around-the-bend, up-a-tree, madder-than-Meeks stark staring LOONEY if he thinks this concoction is "balanced". I mean, it's almost as bad as an Aussie Jeff "scenario". So play it against the AI, you sporran-wearing splutterer, and tell us how you do.

Ah expaicted tha worst, espeshully when tha stankin' Ruskies popped oop where Ah guessed they'd be, but didnae believe at enough tae pound tha crap oot o' tha area earlier on. There wha millions o' tha wee Ruskie pixelskis scamperin' aboot like flies a' a Croda-fest, boot tha Clan OGSF prevailed tae tha tune o' 82 - 18 fer a major victory.

Ah reckon ye're a BIG GIRL'S BLOUSE, jus' like Dalem.

Print screen o' tha score carrd on at's way tae ye as proof positive tha' Ah'm feckin' GREAT an' you're not.

Di' ye hae a go at tha' Cemetery Hill piece o' gamey ****e? Noo AJ, tha scenario...

[Seanachai]

YK2, you know I think the world of you, but please, please, please never do that again. Internet Explorer crashed three times while trying to visit the previous page, requiring a reboot each time before it would pretend to remember how to function.

While the dancing penguins and disturbing soundtrack where great fun, it made it extremely difficult to get to the wisdom of Hogswatch Night...or something like that...I had to read quickly for fear that IE was going to go west again at any moment. I may not have his name exactly right.

Now, people, let us simply allow Mr. Night to skulk off into himself. There is a certain type of self-important and bitter poster that, every few months or so, feels the need to come in and talk big, mainly for his own enjoyment, and to prove that he can. From the wonderful anonymity of his dial-up and screen name, he can posture for a while here in the thread before going off to look in the mirror and tell himself what a tough hombre he is, while practicing sneering and his 'steely' gaze.

Generally, responding to people like Mr. Night simply sends them into a frenzy of posting, then rushing to the mirror, then back to post some more, until finally they are so over-excited that they have to go indulge themselves in a bit of what so clearly is uppermost in Mr. Night's mind. Often to the point of chafing.

Attention, after all is what Mr. Night so clearly craves. Which is, of course, why it was the first thing he accused everyone else of being desirous of. It's common for accusations to follow the pattern of projecting one's own problems and fixations on to others. I imagine that next he'll be in here accusing us of being effeminate, disruptive, and sexually dysfunctional.

Pay it no mind. When ignored, he'll simply return to the mirror, with a few choice words about 'how he showed all that Peng bunch'.

If we're really lucky, perhaps he'll fall into an argument with himself about what he/they should have said next, and do himself an injury punching out the glass...

[ October 24, 2002, 12:13 AM: Message edited by: Seanachai ]

[Seanachai]

Now, I know that some of you have been waiting for some time for turns from me. A few have been waiting an unusually long time, far longer, in fact, than usual. If this is possible. We're getting into Quantum and Chaos theory, here.

Now, I would have had turns to all of you long before this, but I've simply fallen into complete despondency over Dalem's current inability to enjoy the game.

I sit down to crank out some turns, and find myself thinking: What's the use, really? Will Dalem be any happier?

In fact, I usually then slump even farther down, and find myself thinking how inevitable everything always is, and how little anything will mean, and how the whole plan just seems to be ineffable.

Sometimes I end up just going to bed. Other times even that seems utterly pointless, and I just lie down on the floor right where I am and go to sleep. At least I think it's sleep. I'm sure it's the floor, because it's still there when I wake up. Needs a serious sweep, too. But then, as I brush off my cheek, I think: What 's the point of sweeping?

So, I'm unable to get turns out, to take any delight in life, or even to motivate myself to clean up my apartment.

I'm living in filth, depressed, and everyone I have games against hates me because I'm not responding to pleas for turns.

I blame Dalem, of course, for all of this.

Curse you, Dalem, curse you.

You could at least come over and vacuum...

[imported_Hiram Sedai]

Make sure you wear that cute little maid outfit too, Dalem. The loney old dude loves that stuff.

I was going to fix him up with my great aunt Ethel, but I guess you'll do, Dalem.

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by Hiram Sedai:

Make sure you wear that cute little maid outfit too, Dalem. The loney old dude loves that stuff.

I was going to fix him up with my great aunt Ethel, but I guess you'll do, Dalem.

Hiram, did you read what I wrote about Mr. Night and his tendency to 'project' onto others?

I have a sad, certain suspicion why it is you are so fixated with 'bums'...

[Seanachai]

I am now even more despondent, as I contemplate the horror that Hiram will experience when he realizes he is 'selfphobic'.

[MrSpkr]

Ultra-Gamey, Asbestos Deposition UPDATES!!

Foul Joe Shaw is still plodding about in the bocage of the western front. Silly Joe. He says he hates bocage and would rather not be floundering about in it, so I look for our next match to be on the wide open steppes.

Oh yeah -- he learned the hard way that when a couple of buildings are marked 'suspected German strongpoint', it is generally best not to rush a lone squad and an artillery FO in to scout the premises. At least they died quick, and won't have to suffer the hell that IS Joe Shaw in charge. He's losing, and badly.

Roxy is also on the Western Front. Gamey wench. Somewhere, she managed to find 'crack' French infantry. As if such a beast ever existed. That's rather like claiming you've seen a literate Aussie.

Anyway, she has Died-A-Lot, and has yet to find my main line of resistance. She's losing, and badly.

Yeknod is a useless git, also caught up in the Western Front, who has not sent a turn in an Eeyore's year. We are only two turns or so from the end of this nightmare. He's losing, and badly.

Wildman is enjoying the fields of Malmedy. He has blown up various farmer's fields, set fire to some woods, and acted rather silly. My Panthers are preparing to express their appreciation for his insolence. He is losing, and badly.

dalem is a quitter. Perhaps he should wear an apron and head over to the Bard's to clean house and make dinner. He is losing, and badly.

Wildman is a glutton for punishment. He is discovering why the Russkis feared Tigers. He is losing, and badly.

Grog Dorosh and I are playing a hand of cards in a wooded village at night. I ante'd up my infantry, he saw and raised me an armored car. I upped with a couple of MG's; he saw and raised three armored cars. I saw and raised three Stug's, causing his armored cars to go *BOOM*. He is losing, and badly.

Lars is wondering how paratroops could possibly have so much artillery. He also has shared with me his new found fear of flamethrowers, particularly when he discovers them with unescorted halftracks traveling through a hostile village at night. He is losing, and badly.

Leeo advanced on Pavlov's house and set it on fire. Then one of my airplanes flew over his forces (without firing a shot) and his men abandoned three tanks. Meanwhile, Herr Leeo's men are wondering how he ever talked them into attacking across open ground towards Soviet troops in stone houses. He is losing, and badly.

Seanachai and I are still playing a match, I think. I have not pestered him for a turn, as I realize how distraught he must be over the death of dalem's dignity. However, he is still losing, and badly.

My Russians just threw a blanket party for Hakko Ichiu and his uber-Finnish armored forces. Something about never advancing with armor into an enemy village at night, and the value of Molotov cocktails ("drink up, comrade, we need the bottle"). He is losing, and badly.

Buzzsaw can't be bothered to get CMBB yet. However, it won't matter. He will lose, and badly.

Marlow is slaughtering my Russian's indiscriminately. I am trying to get close enough to bleed on his uniforms. However, that does not change one salient fact: he is still a loser, and badly.

Now sod off.

Steve

Edited to note all you scum owe me turns, unless you aren't battling with me, in which case you only WISH you owed me turns.

[ October 24, 2002, 12:48 AM: Message edited by: MrSpkr ]

[imported_Hiram Sedai]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Hiram Sedai:

Make sure you wear that cute little maid outfit too, Dalem. The loney old dude loves that stuff.

I was going to fix him up with my great aunt Ethel, but I guess you'll do, Dalem.

Hiram, did you read what I wrote about Mr. Night and his tendency to 'project' onto others?

I have a sad, certain suspicion why it is you are so fixated with 'bums'...</font>

[Seanachai]

It occurs to me that the very best cure for all this creeping malaise, despondency, and lethargy is having a quick re-read of one of Terry Pratchett's 'Commander Vimes and the Night Watch' novels from his Discworld series.

Turns out tomorrow night, doubtless imbued with bounce and insouciance.

[dalem]

Originally posted by MrSpkr:

dalem is a quitter. Perhaps he should wear an apron and head over to the Bard's to clean house and make dinner. He is losing, and badly.

Actually I was thinking about trying to squeeze back into the catsuit before I play another game of "Oops! That naughty duster has gone and found its way into my --"

"FRONT!!!!

[Bastables]

I've finally got it, this answer should be used for all further threads on what is Peng to further confuse the SSNs

"What is Peng? Well, he's a smallish alien crustacean with an Italian accent."

Brilliants, fantastic even

[Guest PondScum]

Originally posted by OGSF:

<font size=-1>Di' ye hae a go at tha' Cemetery Hill piece o' gamey ****e? Noo AJ, tha scenario...</font>

Of course I did, you skirling skirt-wearer. It was first in my quest to play all the scenarios in chronological order against the... inmates... of the 'pool. Papa Kahn did a fine job of losing to my 50mm mortar of doom.

Might I also mention to mon petite general that CMBB battles are generally TOO DAMN BIG compared to CMBO battles of the same notional size. What with all the panicking and routing and whatnot, you cannot fling around a hundred units with gay abandon. Go for the little set-piece scenarios and learn to love and cherish each and every squad.

If you keep wearing that cat-suit, I'm sure they'll love and cherish you right back.

[Berlichtingen]

Originally posted by Malakovski:

Not going soft

No, but then i wouldn't expect you to recognize subtlety. Be nice to angry people... it pisses them off more. Piss off morons like WN more and their language gets worse... which can lead to bannings. See how a little kindness can go a long way toward increasing the misery of someone you don't like?

[dalem]

Originally posted by PondScum:

Might I also mention to mon petite general that CMBB battles are generally TOO DAMN BIG compared to CMBO battles of the same notional size. What with all the panicking and routing and whatnot, you cannot fling around a hundred units with gay abandon. Go for the little set-piece scenarios and learn to love and cherish each and every squad.

If you keep wearing that cat-suit, I'm sure they'll love and cherish you right back.

Thanks - I've been trying teeny little QBs too. Better, but still iffy for me.