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Did Peng Have A Challenging Christmas In 68?


Lars

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A Drop Bear, a Rabbi, and an Australian go into a bar. The Aussie tells the bartender, 'Give me a Vic Bitter!', and the bartender does. The Rabbi tells the Bartender, 'Give me a Vic Bitter'! And the bartender does. The Drop Bear says 'Give me a Fosters'! and the bartender does.

The bartender says: We don't get many Drop Bears in here. And the Drop Bear leaps up on the bar, leaps high into the air, and lands on top of the bartender's head, killing him instantly. Then he says 'With beer like that, I'm not surprised...'

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Originally posted by Seanachai:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Michael Dorosh:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by MrPeng:

I've got a fly-blown, dead rat needs mailing off to dalem.

How does he keep them from getting tangled in his hair? :confused: </font>
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Originally posted by dalem:

And I made violent, wrenching love to a Drop Bear once.

Oh, now this does not surprise me in the least. The LEAST I say!

And how drunk did you have to get it?

(I say "it" because, knowing you for the filthy, oily sword person you are, it might not have been a "she", you swine!)

You give "animal husbandry" an entirely new and icky meaning!

You probably thought yourself quite the smooth operator that day in the petting zoo, with your hair all slicked back, sporting a pencil thin moustache and twirling your watch fob as you perused all the available mammals!

You eventually sight your victim and licking your pinky finger, smooth down your eyebrows and sidle in for the conquest!

What lies did you tell? How many vague and empty promises dripped like rancid honey from your thin, fleshless lips?

Did you smile sweetly, exposing teeth that are more than a little reminiscent of Roquefort cheese as you backed the poor woodland animal into a corner? What bright baubles did you mesmerize it with?

You cheap seducer of Ursidai! If I had a horse, I'd horsewhip you!

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Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Seanachai:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Boo Radley:

No, no, no, no, no. dalem's a Republican.

He uses Vitalis.

Whatever happened to Brylcream, that's what I want to know... </font>
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Originally posted by Noba:

There are a few of you lot, and a sad, sorry, pathetic bunch you are, as well, owe me turns. Now aside from the following reasons.

- You are all Yanks.

- You are all losing.

Is there Another Reason that you can't complete said returns and carry on losing? I know you are consumed by your voting intentions, but it's November in November, not bloody NOW. So take digit from where you are probably resting it/or them -(for those that may be ambidexterous) and push a few buttons on your 'puters.

Noba.

ps. Mace get GRUE to send me a turn. It would have to be quicker 'n you.

Careful, now, Sir Noba lest GRUE (capitalized out of respect, of course) give you a wedgie you'll remember for a good long time.

As to your fictitious claim of pending victory, I say: Hooey. And. Balderdash (for good measure).

The Mighty Eyties — an unstoppable (unless there is a bar, a plate of pasta, too much sun, too many clouds, a bit o' dust, gnats, the morning Soaps, sand in the shorts, sand in the socks, sand in the crankcase, sand in the ears, etc., etc., etc., ad nauseam) collection are on the march to total victory over your sodding lot of nefarious Nefariousers in their clankety machines.

In short, you'll get yours.

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Just a bit of information from the "Peng Nature Series":

Drop Bears and Grues are closely related.....don't ask me how I know that...but be sure never to look at them directly...

don't ever look at Mace or Noba directly either, but for totally different reasons. They are both sodding Aussies, and will steal your soul as quick as popping the top off of some foul.. speaking of foul, Joe Shaw owes me a game, has never finished a game, and is a poxy layabout ...but I digress.. foul Australian brew.

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Sheesh!

Take a few days off to attend a Hurricane Party (Thanks Snarker for that water purification recipe *HIC*. The blindness was only temporary!) and when I get back what do I find?

Drop Bears, Vitalis, Brylcreme, Vaseline, and some kind of hair styling gel for pods.

Looks like I'll have to purify a helluva lot more water tonight.

Okay, okay, I know all you care about are When am I gonna get my turn? Here's a list of projected turns going out:

Boo-Tonight fer shure.

Lars-Tonight fer shure.

Noba-Tonight fer shure.

dalem-This week fer shure.

Papa Khann-This week fer shure

Joe Shaw-YOU OWE ME!!!!!

Seanachai-January 2005

If your name isn't on the list, you may now return to the obscurity you so rightfully deserve.

GAWD, I got a headache. And actually having to work most of today HAS NOT HELPED!!!

I need to pound some more musicians into total obnoxiousness. Damn nylon string playing wussies!!!!

PS-Nefariousers???????????

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