Kitty Posted December 17, 2003 Share Posted December 17, 2003 This is my first time starting the thread so I'm going to just quote my mentor so I don't screw it up: Berli: Rules... I freakin' hate rules. I guess I should provide some for the more simple minded (that would be most of you) Treat the Ladies with respect. They are infinitely better than you can ever aspire to be. Try, try very hard, to engage whatever wit you may have. Better yet, just piss off" Hope you enjoy the Christmas theme . . . actually I don't really care if you like it or not. I do. Now let the insults begin! Kitty [ December 21, 2003, 02:48 PM: Message edited by: Kitty ] 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted December 17, 2003 Share Posted December 17, 2003 Originally posted by Kitty: This is my first time starting the thread so I'm going to just quote my mentor so I don't screw it up: Berli: Rules... I freakin' hate rules. I guess I should provide some for the more simple minded (that would be most of you) Treat the Ladies with respect. They are infinitely better than you can ever aspire to be. Try, try very hard, to engage whatever wit you may have. Better yet, just piss off" Hope you enjoy the Christmas theme . . . actually I don't really care if you like it or not. I do. Now let the insults begin! Kitty Dame Kitty, just because Berli does it doesn't mean it's right ... in fact a strong case could be made that if Berli does it, it's WRONG! Rules are for our protection dear Lady, they should be cherished and nurtured, allowed to flower into greater and greater beauty as time goes by ... here, allow me to show you what I mean from a previous incarnation of the MBT: The CESSPOOL OFFICIAL RULES (ii) Let’s cut to the chase here, shall we … SOD OFF! (XIV) Aha, one of THOSE are we? Dense as a brick no doubt and with an incomplete sense of What’s Right. Well allow me to clarify then … SOD OFF NOW! (1.43) If you don’t know FOR SURE that you belong here and are One Of US, then you are NOT and you are, in fact, an SSN, a Scum Sucking Newbie and there is nothing in this world or the next that is lower than you. You should really leave now. You will be ridiculed, derided, scoffed at, disparaged, mocked and distained and THAT will be if we’re in a GOOD mood. You shouldn’t let this happen to you, you should just ... SOD OFF! (ref. e) Now I’ve no doubt whatever that you are droll beyond comparison … I’ve also no doubt that you drool beyond belief and if you think you’d fit in here anyway, YOU ARE WRONG SO SOD OFF. ( Haven't you SODDED OFF yet? This DOES get tiresome you know. Oh you’re not the first, not even the Eleventy First as Bilbo might say. And we tell them all the same thing, to wit (or some portion of that amount in YOUR case), this is the PENG CHALLENGE THREAD, the operative word being CHALLENGE! Therefore, if you choose not to Sod Off, and we DO encourage that option most strongly, Challenge someone … that’s some ONE PERSON, not the CessPool as a Hole … to a game of CM. Otherwise we’ll know that you are here just to dip your little toe in the water and then scurry off back to the outerboard and tell your friends with a disdainful sniff that you’ve been in the CessPool, donchaknow, wasn’t much and you decided not to stick around. {You have TWO choices, which would be equivalent to the number of nostrils you have available for delving into with your fingers, either post your email and general location in your profile or SOD OFF! We don’t accept strangers in these parts and you’re about as strange as they come} {34} WHEN you challenge, assuming that you don’t just Sod Off, challenge an SSN … maybe a Squire, but your challenge of a Knight will be ignored as beneath their notice which it of course is. Post your AARs, for it is by your words that you will be judged and deemed, in your case, to be EMINENTLY UNWORTHY. Some OTHER SSN, not you certainly, May attract the notice of a Knight and MIGHT be proposed to be Serf. After that the Sun could, I suppose, rise in the West OR, alternatively, THAT serf might be chosen as Squire to said Knight. After that … well, let’s not get ahead of ourselves shall we? You’ll be Sodding Off shortly in any case once you realize what a loathsome creature you really are. {Uiv} SOUND OFF LIKE YA GOT A PAIR! You SHOULD sound off to your opponents and to those whom you'd challenge. But sound off with some humor for the love of Pete or Gawd as you choose. We are looking for MEN of a certain ... STYLE, men of WIT, men of HUMOR ... and women … well, just women would cover it I think. {87/87) Do NOT sound off ABOUT your pair. We tolerate no racial, sexual, political or ethnic crusades ... only good old-fashioned PERSONAL attacks. Remember, however, that there are Ladies of the Pool about and it wouldn’t do, oh no it wouldn’t do AT ALL to engage in personal attacks with THEM! Who are they you ask … do I LOOK like Directory Assistance? Figure it out … or SOD OFF! {We’ve had people who wandered in, posted once or twice and were never seen again. In MOST cases this a GOOD thing and an option you should consider. If, however, you expect to be a part of the CessPool … and YOU certainly shouldn’t … then be aware that you will expected to contribute to the community on a regular basis. You should make us laugh, chortle, giggle (in the case of Bauhaus and guffaw. This is your task … YOU will fail, so best just to SOD OFF.} 1. {vii} Have Half A Brain, this will be a stretch for most SSNs but give it a shot. When (or in YOUR case on the rare occassion IF) you taunt someone, make it memorable ... otherwise, HELLO, we won't remember you. {Don't} think that just because you're good at CM that you have a place HERE! We don't care ... we care about taunting, insulting and generally being Gamey, underhanded swine. That's right ... GAMEY ... we LIKE GAMEY because the Outerboards DON'T. {([])} One final word of warning, SOD OFF! [ December 16, 2003, 05:58 PM: Message edited by: Joe Shaw ] 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lurkur Posted December 17, 2003 Share Posted December 17, 2003 Merry Christmas, Kitty! [Tosses catnip wrapped with a bright ribbon towards feline female, and then backs away carefully, behind Shaw, avoiding sudden movements] 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marlow Posted December 17, 2003 Share Posted December 17, 2003 Just dropped in to ask a quick technical question that might assist those who might be inclined to post here. How exactly does one "sod off." Being an ignorant American and all, I don't know the finer points of British slang. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monty Posted December 17, 2003 Share Posted December 17, 2003 Wankers... Monty 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harv Posted December 17, 2003 Share Posted December 17, 2003 Lurker! You smelling of something long past its due date whine-a-lot loser, if you have time to post something a useless (except for using Joe as a human sheild of course) as that you have time to send a turn in our newish game of your doom. Or something. Either way, get at it now or sooner at your latest convenience. Harv 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kitty Posted December 17, 2003 Author Share Posted December 17, 2003 Originally posted by Joe Shaw: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Kitty: This is my first time starting the thread so I'm going to just quote my mentor so I don't screw it up: Berli: Rules... I freakin' hate rules. I guess I should provide some for the more simple minded (that would be most of you) Treat the Ladies with respect. They are infinitely better than you can ever aspire to be. Try, try very hard, to engage whatever wit you may have. Better yet, just piss off" Hope you enjoy the Christmas theme . . . actually I don't really care if you like it or not. I do. Now let the insults begin! Kitty Dame Kitty, just because Berli does it doesn't mean it's right ... in fact a strong case could be made that if Berli does it, it's WRONG! Rules are for our protection dear Lady, they should be cherished and nurtured, allowed to flower into greater and greater beauty as time goes by ... here, allow me to show you what I mean from a previous incarnation of the MBT: The CESSPOOL OFFICIAL RULES (ii) Let’s cut to the chase here, shall we … SOD OFF! (XIV) Aha, one of THOSE are we? Dense as a brick no doubt and with an incomplete sense of What’s Right. Well allow me to clarify then … SOD OFF NOW! (1.43) If you don’t know FOR SURE that you belong here and are One Of US, then you are NOT and you are, in fact, an SSN, a Scum Sucking Newbie and there is nothing in this world or the next that is lower than you. You should really leave now. You will be ridiculed, derided, scoffed at, disparaged, mocked and distained and THAT will be if we’re in a GOOD mood. You shouldn’t let this happen to you, you should just ... SOD OFF! (ref. e) Now I’ve no doubt whatever that you are droll beyond comparison … I’ve also no doubt that you drool beyond belief and if you think you’d fit in here anyway, YOU ARE WRONG SO SOD OFF. ( Haven't you SODDED OFF yet? This DOES get tiresome you know. Oh you’re not the first, not even the Eleventy First as Bilbo might say. And we tell them all the same thing, to wit (or some portion of that amount in YOUR case), this is the PENG CHALLENGE THREAD, the operative word being CHALLENGE! Therefore, if you choose not to Sod Off, and we DO encourage that option most strongly, Challenge someone … that’s some ONE PERSON, not the CessPool as a Hole … to a game of CM. Otherwise we’ll know that you are here just to dip your little toe in the water and then scurry off back to the outerboard and tell your friends with a disdainful sniff that you’ve been in the CessPool, donchaknow, wasn’t much and you decided not to stick around. {You have TWO choices, which would be equivalent to the number of nostrils you have available for delving into with your fingers, either post your email and general location in your profile or SOD OFF! We don’t accept strangers in these parts and you’re about as strange as they come} {34} WHEN you challenge, assuming that you don’t just Sod Off, challenge an SSN … maybe a Squire, but your challenge of a Knight will be ignored as beneath their notice which it of course is. Post your AARs, for it is by your words that you will be judged and deemed, in your case, to be EMINENTLY UNWORTHY. Some OTHER SSN, not you certainly, May attract the notice of a Knight and MIGHT be proposed to be Serf. After that the Sun could, I suppose, rise in the West OR, alternatively, THAT serf might be chosen as Squire to said Knight. After that … well, let’s not get ahead of ourselves shall we? You’ll be Sodding Off shortly in any case once you realize what a loathsome creature you really are. {Uiv} SOUND OFF LIKE YA GOT A PAIR! You SHOULD sound off to your opponents and to those whom you'd challenge. But sound off with some humor for the love of Pete or Gawd as you choose. We are looking for MEN of a certain ... STYLE, men of WIT, men of HUMOR ... and women … well, just women would cover it I think. {87/87) Do NOT sound off ABOUT your pair. We tolerate no racial, sexual, political or ethnic crusades ... only good old-fashioned PERSONAL attacks. Remember, however, that there are Ladies of the Pool about and it wouldn’t do, oh no it wouldn’t do AT ALL to engage in personal attacks with THEM! Who are they you ask … do I LOOK like Directory Assistance? Figure it out … or SOD OFF! {We’ve had people who wandered in, posted once or twice and were never seen again. In MOST cases this a GOOD thing and an option you should consider. If, however, you expect to be a part of the CessPool … and YOU certainly shouldn’t … then be aware that you will expected to contribute to the community on a regular basis. You should make us laugh, chortle, giggle (in the case of Bauhaus and guffaw. This is your task … YOU will fail, so best just to SOD OFF.} 1. {vii} Have Half A Brain, this will be a stretch for most SSNs but give it a shot. When (or in YOUR case on the rare occassion IF) you taunt someone, make it memorable ... otherwise, HELLO, we won't remember you. {Don't} think that just because you're good at CM that you have a place HERE! We don't care ... we care about taunting, insulting and generally being Gamey, underhanded swine. That's right ... GAMEY ... we LIKE GAMEY because the Outerboards DON'T. {([])} One final word of warning, SOD OFF! </font> 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted December 17, 2003 Share Posted December 17, 2003 Originally posted by Marlow: Just dropped in to ask a quick technical question that might assist those who might be inclined to post here. How exactly does one "sod off." Being an ignorant American and all, I don't know the finer points of British slang. Weeeellll, to use the American slang would be a violation of forum rules. But, just for you, f**k off! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted December 17, 2003 Share Posted December 17, 2003 Originally posted by Joe Shaw: The CESSPOOL OFFICIAL RULES...Ya know, Joe, with the official rules that long, people will just skip over them like the skip over Seanachai's posts. Brevity is a virtue. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kitty Posted December 17, 2003 Author Share Posted December 17, 2003 Originally posted by Berlichtingen: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Joe Shaw: The CESSPOOL OFFICIAL RULES...Ya know, Joe, with the official rules that long, people will just skip over them like the skip over Seanachai's posts. Brevity is a virtue. </font> 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted December 17, 2003 Share Posted December 17, 2003 Originally posted by Kitty: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Berlichtingen: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Joe Shaw: The CESSPOOL OFFICIAL RULES...Ya know, Joe, with the official rules that long, people will just skip over them like the skip over Seanachai's posts. Brevity is a virtue. </font> 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Mike Posted December 17, 2003 Share Posted December 17, 2003 Are there blonde sheep in here too? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted December 17, 2003 Share Posted December 17, 2003 Originally posted by Joe Shaw: The value of the rules is NOT in the reading of them but in our ability to chastise and chortle when an SSN FAILS to read them.Hint: We don't need rules to chastise SSN's. We can chastise them for anything that catches our fancy at the moment. For instance... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kitty Posted December 17, 2003 Author Share Posted December 17, 2003 Originally posted by Joe Shaw: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Kitty: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Berlichtingen: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Joe Shaw: The CESSPOOL OFFICIAL RULES...Ya know, Joe, with the official rules that long, people will just skip over them like the skip over Seanachai's posts. Brevity is a virtue. </font> 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted December 17, 2003 Share Posted December 17, 2003 Originally posted by Berlichtingen: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Joe Shaw: The value of the rules is NOT in the reading of them but in our ability to chastise and chortle when an SSN FAILS to read them.Hint: We don't need rules to chastise SSN's. We can chastise them for anything that catches our fancy at the moment. For instance... </font> 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted December 17, 2003 Share Posted December 17, 2003 Originally posted by Monty: Wankers...Nice of you to drop in and pay us a visit Monty. I gather you are as useless as your usename would lead us to believe. Perhaps you would be so good as to SOD OFF! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted December 17, 2003 Share Posted December 17, 2003 Originally posted by Joe Shaw: We ALL need rules Berli ... even you. Without rules you'd have less to complain about!Wrong! Even without rules, I have plenty to complain aboot. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kitty Posted December 17, 2003 Author Share Posted December 17, 2003 Originally posted by Mike: Are there blonde sheep in here too? Better ask Mace. And watch yourself... I have many more Masks of Shame from which to choose . . . Kitty [ December 16, 2003, 06:54 PM: Message edited by: Kitty ] 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aces_and_8's Posted December 17, 2003 Share Posted December 17, 2003 *Walks in looks around* ...Nice digs. Well, here is the latest news from the front: - After a sleep-fest of epic proportions, Nidan1's stubby truppen have finally found motivation (or a jet pack)...one minute they were miles away, the next in the middle of my lines. It does not look like the break through can be contained as I go Conestoga (circle up and hope for the best). We are getting close to endgame. - In a continuing seesaw battle over a flag (well alot more see and no saw whatsoever to speak of as evidenced by the bodies of patriots strewn in the streets) with Berli I have had to consolidate and prepare for a coordinated push. On the upside, there's a whole lot more patriots from where those came from and I think one of his tanks has finally run out of HE (we'll see when I poke my head out the window). I did manage to off an irritating machine gunner and there are plenty of little grey bodies littering the ground in front of my factory, so I'm still hopeful. With Mike, I think I saw off the last of those irritating partisans, cost me a truck, two kubelwagens and about a squad of grunts. We are out checking the wreckage of the truck now, that was WAAAAYYYYY too big of a boom to be a molotov or atr. Think he has mines strewn about. Breaking out the spongey bottomed shoes and all vehicle movement has stopped until I figure it out...I did allow one squad to escape into the swamp, hopefully they will die from exposure. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tiny_tanker Posted December 17, 2003 Share Posted December 17, 2003 Rulez! We don't need no stinkin RULEZ! Well maybe Berli does, but thats just cause he's so special and all. Anywho, on to the real reason for me sticking my head in here. Sorry Acey no battle for at least another week. My computer committed suicide this weekend and will be taking a looooong ride to a specialist this time. On a plus side when the logic board goes out again I get a brand new G4 ibook for my pain 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted December 17, 2003 Share Posted December 17, 2003 Originally posted by tiny_tanker: Rulez! We don't need no stinkin RULEZ!Nor do we need idiots that use 'z' in place of 's' My computer committed suicide this weekendProving that it has more sense than you. Piss off. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aces_and_8's Posted December 17, 2003 Share Posted December 17, 2003 Originally posted by Berlichtingen: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by tiny_tanker: Rulez! We don't need no stinkin RULEZ!Nor do we need idiots that use 'z' in place of 's' My computer committed suicide this weekendProving that it has more sense than you. Piss off. </font> 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalem Posted December 17, 2003 Share Posted December 17, 2003 Once upon a time there was a spinning wheel, a plank of wood, and a dwarf star. The plank of wood wanted to go explore the world and convinced the spinning wheel to roll it along and the dwarf star to buff its surface to a fine sheen, and together they wandered. On a time they happened upon a woodcutter's cabin, and they went inside. When the woodcutter came home they tried to hide themselves - the plank of wood balanced on the spinning wheel and the dwarf star behind the curtain on top of the plank of wood. The woodcutter noticed the spinning wheel and said to himself "Magic fairies must have given me a spinning wheel - why tomorrow I will find a maiden to spin them a tapestry of thanks." Being tired the woodcutter sat on the floor and leaned back against his new spinning wheel to rest, but this unbalanced the wooden plank and the dwarf star rolled off and crushed the woodcutter to his death. The plank of wood, the spinning wheel, and the dwarf star all live there to this day, as far as I have been told. Sleep tight! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted December 17, 2003 Share Posted December 17, 2003 Originally posted by Aces_and_8's: Uhm...He's from Kansas. They were never issued the full version of the alphabet. They were, but they have the attention span of mayflies. They usually start, get about a third of the way through, and then skip to the end. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted December 17, 2003 Share Posted December 17, 2003 Originally posted by dalem: Once upon a time there was a spinning wheel, a plank of wood, and a dwarf star... The Brothers Grimm are teetering on the brink of obscurity, eclipsed by a new talent, lurching like Quasimodo out of the Great White North. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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