Jim Boggs Posted August 19, 2004 Share Posted August 19, 2004 Originally posted by MrSpkr: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Jim Boggs: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by rune: ladies and gentlemen of the pool, and you too Boo, I hearby submit Nidan1 for a formal title. hencewith, let Sir Nidan1 be know as: Sir Nidan1 Grand Inquistor, Spell Checker, and Grammar Grog of the Mutha Beautiful Thread What say ye? Rune Heer Heer. Yu no I'm in favore. I vot yeach! </font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted August 19, 2004 Author Share Posted August 19, 2004 Originally posted by rune: I also submit that we make Boo 'Conjunction junction' Radley, Sir Nidan1's faithful sidekick, as Boo is already a faithful sidekick to Joebob Shaw, and the only thing worse I can think of worse then that is to be the faithful sidekick of someone from New York. Almost as bad as living in Ohio, Rune rune, you ignorant hilljack. Nidan was my squire, there's no way I'm going to become his sidekick. Besides, I'm Shaw's assistant and Seanachai's thuggish henchman. Who has time? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jim Boggs Posted August 19, 2004 Share Posted August 19, 2004 Originally posted by Boo Radley: rune, you ignorant hilljack. Nidan was my squire, there's no way I'm going to become his sidekick. Besides, I'm Shaw's assistant and Seanachai's thuggish henchman. Who has time? I thought you were Seanachai's boorish henchman. Seems more likely. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nidan1 Posted August 19, 2004 Share Posted August 19, 2004 Maybe we should strap Boo to the new Raytheon Tomahawk missle. He could act as the guidance system.... "go left...no right...up a little....ooops left again...wait a minute this is Akron not Tora Bora......" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lars Posted August 19, 2004 Share Posted August 19, 2004 Originally posted by rune: I also submit that we make Boo 'Conjunction junction' Radley, Sir Nidan1's faithful sidekick, as Boo is already a faithful sidekick to Joebob Shaw, and the only thing worse I can think of worse then that is to be the faithful sidekick of someone from New York. Almost as bad as living in Ohio,Hmm, sidekick, sidekick...and to two different Kniggets no less, which would assure that Boo gets kicked in the sides early and often. I see where the cruel streak in your scenarios comes from rune. I vote ***BOOT*** Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted August 20, 2004 Author Share Posted August 20, 2004 Originally posted by Nidan1: Maybe we should strap Boo to the new Raytheon Tomahawk missle. He could act as the guidance system.... "go left...no right...up a little....ooops left again...wait a minute this is Akron not Tora Bora......" "Good evening and welcome to Non-Sequitor Theatre. In tonight's performance, Nidan will prattle on about nothing that makes any sense to anyone. As you guessed, tonight's performance is indeed a rerun." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wisbech_lad Posted August 20, 2004 Share Posted August 20, 2004 So, what line of "work" are you involved in. A bit 'dodgy' if you ask me... Noba. An airline, since you ask... Colleague was on an inspection trip from H/O, and like 99.9% of all business trips here was using normal entry (tourist) visa. For some reason, the head of immigration at the airport decided to throw the book at him when they found him inspecting the engineering stores - i.e. working. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted August 20, 2004 Share Posted August 20, 2004 Mr. Boggs (may I call you Mr. Boggs?), did you know that I once lived in Florida for 2 days that went on for 12 months? They were the days it rained, and the days it didn't. Other than that, there was nothing to distinguish one day from the next. Nor any real need to, since each day was a horrible reprise on the day that had proceeded it. We drank until our stomachs bled, and smoked dope until we passed right through being stoned into a horrible state where the drugs had made us indistinguishable from Republican golfers. We cursed God, Ronald Reagan, and the Crown Liquor Lounge, which gave us such cheap drinks that it had sapped our will to emigrate.. And we kept a lizard in our apartment, whom we named 'Captain Zeep'. We didn't use the air-conditioning because the poor bugger was always peaky and disconsolate when we did. Eventually he passed away, and for almost two weeks we kept telling each other 'You know, we have to have an appropriate burial ceremony for our dear, departed comrade, Captain Zeep'. But we never seemed to get around to it. We cranked the air-conditioning up full blast to keep him fresh, but eventually we couldn't help but notice a deterioration in 'air quality'. Well, actually, what we got was a note from the pest control guy who came in every month to try and control the hideous giant cockroaches that read: "Look, it doesn't do any good for me to come in and spray against vermin if you fecking lunatics are going to keep a dead, rotting lizard in a tank in the middle of the living room.' So we threw him into a dumpster one night in a mean, tequila induced frenzy. The dead lizard, that is, not the pest control guy. And I'm reminded of the time that the Crown Liquor Lounge made me go in and take a lie detector test because money had been going missing from the till, and I answered a number of questions, during which I confessed to having done a tally sheet of drugs (some of them at work) that would have made Hunter S. Thompson give a silent nod of approval, and that it was only the beer and tequila that I drank every night while dancing a lusty tarantella that made it possible for me to get up the next day and come to work. And that the beer was all too often Budweiser. And then, although no one was asking me about it, I confessed to horrendous sexual fantasies involving every single one of the barmaids in the Lounge, as well as a cross-section of the druggie chicks that came in. I even tore off some of the used polygraph paper and did diagrams of the more complicated fantasies. I then volunteered my opinion that Florida was where God would stick the Cosmic Enema when the time came, and briefly broke down and cried for Captain Zeep. When my polygraph tests came back, the District Manager called me in and offered to promote me from stock/receiving to the position of 'Wine Salesman', with a raise and the option to make commission. Told me they were impressed with my 'honesty'. I pondered for a moment, and, after fumbling in the ziploc bag in which I kept a cross-section of the drugs I swept up off the floor of the Lounge every day for a quick 'pick me up', I told him I had to decline, as I'd decided to leave Florida to move to Ohio, where I hoped to finally become the man that my family had always hoped to see jailed and beaten by guards. That night, my roommate and I celebrated my 'promotable but clearly insane' status by using mace on the palmetto bugs in our apartment (since the pesticide sprays like 'Raid' just made them belligerent and abusive), and ended up crouched outside drinking warm budweiser, eyes weeping, and chanting 'Ohio, Here We Come" until the neighbours came out and begged us to take them with us. If only Dalem had been there with us in those heady, Floridian days! After a while, we grew exhausted fending off the non-stop offers to sell us guns of every imaginable caliber, configuration and legality. I remember when the manager of our store/lounge asked the Cubano I was replacing: 'Hey, Felix, your people are into guns. Can you get me a Walther PPK?' After considering, he was told: 'No, but I can get you an 81mm mortar. With 5 rounds of ammo. Some of my friends want to trade it in for more assault rifles.' Ah, Mr. Boggs! When I read your posts, I'm taken back to a younger, more hopeless point in life. The nostalgia! The bar fights! The non-stop chemical abuse! The rich irony of living surrounded by wealth in a place that was so wretched they had to bury their dead above ground in concrete graves because they couldn't dig deep enough for graves without hitting the water table! And the tupperware parties. Let's never forget the tupperware parties. You could actually be shown how to 'burp' the container you kept your dope in. Man, I loved that lizard. It wasn't like he was cuddly, or anything. But I'm pretty sure he knew it was me that was giving him his mealworms, and that he loved me. Come North, Boggsy. It's not too late, old man. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted August 20, 2004 Share Posted August 20, 2004 Originally posted by Jim Boggs: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Boo Radley: rune, you ignorant hilljack. Nidan was my squire, there's no way I'm going to become his sidekick. Besides, I'm Shaw's assistant and Seanachai's thuggish henchman. Who has time? I thought you were Seanachai's boorish henchman. Seems more likely. </font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrSpkr Posted August 20, 2004 Share Posted August 20, 2004 Originally posted by Seanachai: Mr. Boggs (may I call you Mr. Boggs?), did you know that I once lived in Florida for 2 days that went on for 12 months? They were the days it rained, and the days it didn't. Other than that, there was nothing to distinguish one day from the next. Nor any real need to, since each day was a horrible reprise on the day that had proceeded it. We drank until our stomachs bled, and smoked dope until we passed right through being stoned into a horrible state where the drugs had made us indistinguishable from Republican golfers. <snip>Seanachai is really Dr. Hunter S. Thompson? Wierd. Steve Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wisbech_lad Posted August 20, 2004 Share Posted August 20, 2004 Uh oh. The "incident" has been escalated to high levels, order of head office. Not convinced this was the right thing to do - but throwing our guys into jail goes down very badly. Upshot is that director of immigration is coming to see me in 45 minutes time - and I have no idea if it going to be a retaliation raid, free apology and retraction of blacklisting, or negotiation of how much fine we need to pay to lift blacklisting. Way too soon. Wasn't expecting until middle of next week, but looks like we shook the tree at too high a level (ministerial). Hate going into things like this without knowing the other's position... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moriarty Posted August 20, 2004 Share Posted August 20, 2004 Originally posted by Noba: And you are still a half-baked, ulcerous, puss-laden pimple on the arse of Joe Shaw. Noba. My, my, Noba, or should I spell it aboN so that you might, perchance, be able to read it … traveling as you are on the backward half of the planet. Take some time out from nibbling the crunchy bits clinging to the scruffy butt hairs of Joe Shaw and offer up a righteous taunt — one with acid panache and a bit of humor. I realize that Joe Shaw will miss your services and that this will be difficult for someone so new to the M.B.T. but do give it a try. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patchy Posted August 20, 2004 Share Posted August 20, 2004 Seanachai, that was a very touching story about your pet lizard.....but part of your story has to be fiction....even though they have been known to drink alcohol and take drugs on occassion.....garden Gnomes don't have sexual fantasies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted August 20, 2004 Author Share Posted August 20, 2004 Originally posted by Seanachai: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Jim Boggs: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Boo Radley: rune, you ignorant hilljack. Nidan was my squire, there's no way I'm going to become his sidekick. Besides, I'm Shaw's assistant and Seanachai's thuggish henchman. Who has time? I thought you were Seanachai's boorish henchman. Seems more likely. </font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Herr Oberst Posted August 20, 2004 Share Posted August 20, 2004 Originally posted by Seanachai: Mr. Boggs (may I call you Mr. Boggs?), did you know that I once lived in Florida for 2 days that went on for 12 months? ... {snip}... {snip}, {snip}, {snip}... {snip}, {snip}, {snip}, {fold}, {fold}, {fold}, {snip}, {snip}, {snip}, {snip}, {snip}, {fold}, {snip}, {snip}, {snip} Okay, what wise-ass gave him back his dictionary and thesarus... {unfold}, {unfold} hmm... kinda looks like Seanachai in an Easy Rider outfit... and that next shape looks kinda like an emaciated leezard that got fed mealworms but no water... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lars Posted August 20, 2004 Share Posted August 20, 2004 Originally posted by Patchy: garden Gnomes don't have sexual fantasies. Yes they do. Just very short ones. Play Seanachai in a game and you'll find out. Bit of performance anxiety there, don't you know. {pssst....Seanachai...Indian God Lotion ($15), Secret ingredient: Isopropyl alcohol. Conveniently for you, it’s also a substance used in wart removers.} Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leeo Posted August 20, 2004 Share Posted August 20, 2004 Yesterday evening, through the mists of my vodka induced haze, I worked at developing, nursing, and feeding a righteous rant. Oh, the breadth, vigor, and wittiness of my diatribe! I would post it in the M.B.T.! I would bring life, venom, and panache back to the 'pool! Instead I awoke with a headache and the taste of ethanol upon my oral membranes. Feckin' Vodka! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted August 20, 2004 Share Posted August 20, 2004 Originally posted by Patchy: ...but part of your story has to be fiction....even though they have been known to drink alcohol and take drugs on occassion.....garden Gnomes don't have sexual fantasies. I was much younger then, and hadn't yet become a Gnome. In those days I had fantasies that were incredibly well-scripted, lengthy, and complex. I even had one that was completely in Aramaic long before that ponce Mel Gibson thought of doing something similar. There was less whipping in mine, though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Papa Khann Posted August 20, 2004 Share Posted August 20, 2004 Time for some gamey updates: Seanachai apparently has time to "share" his little rant about stuffing alcohol and hallucinogens down/up his throat/nose while dancing his tarantella with one hundred and one roaring Cubans in the land of Boggs, but no time to send Papa Khann a setup. I don't think he loves me the way he used to.... Back in the good ol' days. When men were men and I was d*mned nervous around the lot of you tossers. (Not that there's anything wrong with that.) dalem, after what seems like a lifetime of demonstrating that he's incapable of composing a setup (or dressing himself, or not setting his back yard on fire when he's out to mow the grass, etc.) surprised me by sending none other than a setup. Mind you, it was an abysmal failure of an affair. So much so that I was compelled to redo the thing and send it back to him. But at least the lad gave it a go. Now all I have to do is get him to send a turn back. Lars, who at least sends turns, has finally conjured up some tanks for himself in our scenario. He's proceeded to drive most of them directly into a river surrounded by my fields of fire, but nontheless our game may become moderately more entertaining for me now. Boo is driving commuter vehicles filled with, well... commuters I guess... round and round in the desert. Perhaps someday he'll try to advance on the flag I'm defending. It is Boo though. Perhaps he's just lost. Joe obviously has forgotten (again) that we have a game going. If anyone sees him, please snap your fingers in front of his face a few times. If that fails to wake him, feel free to apply a liberal dose of the boot. On second thought, let's just start off with the boot. Boggs is using a supposed power outage as his current excuse for not sending turns. Have you lost some of the hamsters, Boggs? Papa Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted August 20, 2004 Share Posted August 20, 2004 Originally posted by Wisbech_lad: Uh oh. The "incident" has been escalated to high levels, order of head office. Not convinced this was the right thing to do - but throwing our guys into jail goes down very badly. Upshot is that director of immigration is coming to see me in 45 minutes time - and I have no idea if it going to be a retaliation raid, free apology and retraction of blacklisting, or negotiation of how much fine we need to pay to lift blacklisting. Way too soon. Wasn't expecting until middle of next week, but looks like we shook the tree at too high a level (ministerial). Hate going into things like this without knowing the other's position... Wow. Apparently my emails to the Indonesian government to have you jailed are actually being received and given consideration. Technology is wonderful, isn't it? Hope you're cool with the caning I also ordered for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted August 20, 2004 Share Posted August 20, 2004 Originally posted by Moriarty: ...the crunchy bits clinging to the scruffy butt hairs...Everyone sitting down to dinner yet? Good. Those crunchy bits hanging from yadda yadda yadda are called dags. If one doesn't keep that area clean, it gets infected, gets the attention of flies and then fly strike happens - yep maggot infestation. The life of your typical sheep, eaten by maggots while waiting to be eaten by people! So when an aussie calls you a dag, now you know what we're talking about. And in a surprise result (pleasant surprise for me, unpleasant surprise for Speedy) our current game came to a draw. Speedy might have blown all my uberkrauts to Valhalla but he also learnt not to park all his halftracks and open topped tanks in a packed area for my artillery to bombard. Mace Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jim Boggs Posted August 20, 2004 Share Posted August 20, 2004 Turns out to all except: Noba: The message says file corrupt, but I think we all know you well enough to know what's really corrupt, don't we? Now be so kind as to re-send a good file and we will continue. Joe Shaw: Because (it's true I tell ya, just ask around) he owes me a turn. Just incredible is all I got to say. Especially after those three nights of his mass e-mail hysteria. He just wouldn't stop. (Just ask around). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patchy Posted August 20, 2004 Share Posted August 20, 2004 Originally posted by Seanachai: I was much younger then, and hadn't yet become a Gnome. In those days I had fantasies that were incredibly well-scripted, lengthy, and complex. I even had...Mel Gibson...whipping..mine... Erm......what of yours was Mel Gibson whipping? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted August 21, 2004 Share Posted August 21, 2004 Originally posted by Patchy: Erm......what of yours was Mel Gibson whipping? The bugger was flogging Religion. You'd think he was going to get a percentage of the take, the way he goes at it these days... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted August 21, 2004 Author Share Posted August 21, 2004 Originally posted by Seanachai: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Patchy: Erm......what of yours was Mel Gibson whipping? The bugger was flogging Religion. You'd think he was going to get a percentage of the take, the way he goes at it these days... </font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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