HarryInk Posted June 23, 2003 Share Posted June 23, 2003 Dear all, A little topic for chatter that popped up on the CMHQ chat room...and *blush* incidently in a conversation I recently had with my best friend and wife (being the same person, you see...so far, anyway). And maybe it'll be instructive for those nice people buying CM in the shops at the moment. How has Combat Mission affected your relationships with your nearests and dearests? Are there any testimonials to the effect that "CM destroyed my marriage, my life, but I still play 5 PBEM battles at a time"? Any wives/partners/children wish to eloqently express their opinions about how CM arrived in their husband/partner/father's life and became an ornament to their deep mutual love? We'd be interested to know. Personally...well....I have literally frustrated my partner to the point of speechlessness with my CM addiction. And I'm sorry for that. I truly am. (But I still often have 3-5 battles going simultaneously!) Is it really a bad thing when my mind wanders during our conversations to calculating the likely outcomes of my next turns? I mean, at least I still remember my kiddy's name: Manstein...er...Milla. Anyway, what light can others shed upon this most important of issues? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David Chapuis Posted June 23, 2003 Share Posted June 23, 2003 Well, my wife doesnt like it, but she tolerates it. But the strangest thing to me is that I will be driving down the road and see a field with some trees and think "that would be a good ambush spot", or I will see a ditch and think, "could a squad crawl down that ditch without being seen?" I love this game! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maj. Battaglia Posted June 23, 2003 Share Posted June 23, 2003 Well, for one thing I'd suggest being tuned in to when to play and when not to. If she's just hanging out watching TV, that might be a time to get in an hour or two. Be available and don't let CM take the place of doing other things together, even if it is just hanging out. And do your best to not be thinking how to outflank the pillbox when you are talking. Women have been dealing with men's hobbies for a lot longer than CM and computers have been around: golf, hunting, fishing, etc. The advantage CM has is a save feature. And don't be afraid to try to get her at least vaguely interested. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phemur Posted June 23, 2003 Share Posted June 23, 2003 My girlfriend is quite supportive of my gaming, actually, because I don't abuse of it. I have two ongoing PBEM at a time, and my opponents only expect a turn a day. I normally play several turns a day (up to a dozen at times), but they're not expecting any more. This may not suite hard-core gamers very well, so I probably won't ever play against them. But that's fine; there are truckloads of other gamers who are short on time as well. My SO has only had one problem with my CM addiction, and that's the website. I've been working on a club site, which is taking up what little free time I have. Fortunately, it's a very short term problem that's only come up recently. So how has it affected my relationship? Not at all. Phemur 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panzertruppe Posted June 23, 2003 Share Posted June 23, 2003 My wife is very supportive of my wargaming! As a rock musician back in the 70's and 80's I was always gone from home on the weekends and sometime during the week. In the 90's we both started to share a large room with 4 computers and her sewing machines. We love to kick back together and enjoy our hobbies. she would much rather have me home then on the road or playing late on the weekends! 2 of the computers are hers( she is a autocad teacher at John Deere). Can't get any better! [ June 23, 2003, 04:35 PM: Message edited by: Panzertruppe ] 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
markl Posted June 24, 2003 Share Posted June 24, 2003 My problem, My wife always asks, why did I pay so much for the game, only to read the forum so much. I bribe my daughrter so she won't tell the wife what I was playing while she was out. Thats the way the cookie crumbles. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kingjames Posted June 24, 2003 Share Posted June 24, 2003 I bought cmbo about 2 years ago. It was very addictive and that was just against the computer. But seeing as how my girlfriend and I had only been living together for about a year the strain was too much. I finally shelved it (of my own accord mind you) and did not break it out again until about a two months ago. Then I discovered pbeming. Wow! I have about 8 games going, and always manage a turn a day. Usually it is more depending on the childrens ball games and such. But with the funny hours I work, it all works out. I do get an occasional ear full when I try to play a tcp game while she is home. But such is the life of a commander. I bet she would prefer I am on this game as to ... say looking at porn online or some such thing. Anyways, a good commander will balance his duties well. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GJK Posted June 24, 2003 Share Posted June 24, 2003 Originally posted by kingjames: I bought cmbo about 2 years ago. It was very addictive and that was just against the computer. But seeing as how my girlfriend and I had only been living together for about a year the strain was too much. I finally shelved it (of my own accord mind you) and did not break it out again until about a two months ago. Then I discovered pbeming. Wow! I have about 8 games going, and always manage a turn a day. Usually it is more depending on the childrens ball games and such. But with the funny hours I work, it all works out. I do get an occasional ear full when I try to play a tcp game while she is home. But such is the life of a commander. I bet she would prefer I am on this game as to ... say looking at porn online or some such thing. Anyways, a good commander will balance his duties well. My story translates very similarly: I bought cmbo about 2 years ago. It was very addictive and that was just against the computer. But seeing as how me and my wife had only been married for about two years, the strain was too much. I finally shelved her and only recently brought her back out. Then I discoverd that we had children. Wow! Though we have 2 of them now, I usually get in a pbem turn a day. No more porn surfing for me, no sir! sorry, 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Richie Posted June 24, 2003 Share Posted June 24, 2003 I work shift work. My lovely partner of 13 years, well, she's asleep in bed when I trottle in so's I get a few hours to answer my PBEM's. I try not to play when we get the chance to spend some time together.... Hang on... No... I play whenever she's not here... Did I eat Today? Let me see... Got up, shower, play CM, went shopping, play CM, went to work, came home, play CM, steal a little sleep, get up, shower, play CM.... Oh dear 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lcm1947 Posted June 24, 2003 Share Posted June 24, 2003 Been married 29 years and I do want I want, when I went and if she doesn't like it I can sleep in the dog house. No really her computer is right next to mine and she is on it ( Ebay ) as much as I am playing the game or this forum . Lovely situation. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GTA Grognard Posted June 24, 2003 Share Posted June 24, 2003 CMBO has had no affect on my marriage as I have been wargaming on computers since 1983 (Commodore64; PC since 1992). Tried to get my wife interested in wargaming in the late '70s - after one agonizing game of "Yalu-The Chinese Counteroffensive in Korea", she now happily leaves me alone with my hobby. The teenagers are just as absorbed with their Bioware and Sir-Tech RPGs. The younger one is a veteran of 2 generations of the General series and vows to challenge me in CMBO this summer. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kenfedoroff Posted June 24, 2003 Share Posted June 24, 2003 Originally posted by HarryInk: How has Combat Mission affected your relationships with your nearests and dearests? Are you kidding? It saved my life and my marriage. Way back in the bad ol' days, I would have to steal money from my wife's purse and stumble around drunk in topless bars just to make a fool of myself. Now...Thanks to Battlefront.com and the power of the internet, I can make a fool of myself in front of the whole-wide world right from the comfort of my own home. Why just yesterday, I presented two Panthers broadside to a T-34 at less than 300 yd.,(which my opponent promptly toasted...Duh..) ...Which reminds me of all the money I save from bail, lawyers, collision shops, etc. (you get the picture). Combat Mission: Learn it. Know it. Live it. Sincerely, Captain Unconscious 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Louie the Toad Posted June 25, 2003 Share Posted June 25, 2003 The computer is right by the bed. I can rub her feet with one hand and rub out the enemy with the other. Life is good.... Toad 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dandelion Posted June 25, 2003 Share Posted June 25, 2003 Harry Ink, Holy trinity you know. A third work, a third hobbies and a third family. Of your time awake. It works for me, and as my woman has about the same philosophy, it works for her too. I don't think she notices my gaming much, she's consumed by the pursuit of her own hobbies and interests. She shares my political interest of the WWII era, but not the military or technical aspect. She's also interested in research as such - methodologie and so on. So we can discuss many parts, and we do - and the rest I come here to debate with you guys. She knows many of you too. She's more curios than a cat and always was. When I laugh til I cry at one of Lees silly jokes, she'll invariably come running, demanding to read it. Same goes for fascinating stories about traditions of toasting in her Majesty's Navy, or traditional pipe tunes (she loves bagpipes). When people introduce themselves in letters - pbem opponents usually - she'll also grow unendurably curious (thats me not enduring her onslaught). Its just her incurable interest in the lives and realities of people living in faraway places. Then follows the inevitable "no I can't ask him that, he'll think I'm a nutcase and refuse to send me any more turns" debate of mine and hers. She's a pearl. The pearl. Hope things work out for you too Harry. The battling for personal space without the causing feelings of rejection is a growing pain of a relation I guess. So one can be hopeful it will work out eventually. Regards Dandelion 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laxx Posted June 25, 2003 Share Posted June 25, 2003 good reading stuff here! one side effect is that my 4.5 old son knows the difference between the elefant tank, StuG and Hetzers. It was really funny recently when my wife complained that my son's holiday homework of "Treasure Hunt" consists of a T-34 drawing on a deserted island... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HarryInk Posted June 25, 2003 Author Share Posted June 25, 2003 Hmmm .. ..really good replies. Even good advice! 1/3 hobbies (ie. crushing your opponents) and something else with the rest, I think. (Though 1/3 seems a little slim, but whatever...) And GJK makes it clear that CM might be bad for your sex life, or at least that it may be a secret sort of prophelactic? I have noticed that staying up late playing CM IP games rather than following my mate to bed does have some sort of effect to that end (but then, we're going to spring baby #2 in a fortnight, so, like most prophelactics, it's not full proof ). But then, having your T-34 put shells through the side of a line of Panthers...ain't that better than sex? ain't it??? I'm a little surprised so many players are so happy. I was wondering if there should be a 'wife's temper' warning on the retail CM box!! Perhaps they're the ones who have gained wisdom with long relationships? I'm 10 years in: a happy 40 to go. Hopefully we'll end up tiddling along together in the hobby room in our dotage.... hmmm...no... by then they'll have invented the WW1 air combat virtual reality game and she'll have to put up with me sitting in the middle of the room blind as a bad with silly goggles on chasing canvas canaries above the trenches. ah well... We'll manage somehow. *L* 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shades Posted June 25, 2003 Share Posted June 25, 2003 "Honey, I'm going to check my emails, I'll be right back". "Boy, he's been gone a long time!" "Ah, Ha! Email my A**!" Moderation is the key. I've been married 10 years and learned to compromise and be flexible. Luckily she's an early to bed type and I'm a night owl so I can get my fix each night. Got to give that quality time to her and the kids though as CM will always be there and the family won't if you abuse it. After that amount of time together, we know you have to let each other have some space for hobbies and such. New relationships and marriages are a lot of work during those earlylearning experiences and spending more time on anything(this game, drinking, partying, sports) is going to strain the relationship. Its just the nature of the beast, this thing between men and women. My wife will probably kill me once my son is old enough to play. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kingjames Posted June 25, 2003 Share Posted June 25, 2003 LOL, stop it, you guys are killing me. There are definitely worse things out there a guy could be doing. But as soon as you give up the carousing around and stay home like they want , they end up wanting you to spend time with them. I wish women were more like fish. Throw them some food and admire them. Before you start stabbing voodoo dolls ladies, I am just joking. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ng cavscout Posted June 30, 2003 Share Posted June 30, 2003 As for how CM and the other games I play effect my relationship, my wife likes it. It keeps me in the house, and out of the bars, plus, it gives me an excellent connection with my 8 yo stepson. He is really into all things military, and he loves watching me play and toast the "bad guys". It has gotten him interested in history, and even helped his reading skills. My wife likes that I am on the forum or playing some nights when she goes to bed, it gives her a chance to fall asleep before I start snoring. (vicious lie that, I never heard myself snore). As we have our first child due in November, (my first, her third), it will give me something to do while rocking the baby back to sleep at 0300. lol 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ng cavscout Posted July 2, 2003 Share Posted July 2, 2003 Well, in reference to my earlier post, I may have a problem.... How do you rock a baby in each arm and still play CM? The ultra sound tells us that we are having twins! So, there are two more future CM players for me to start training. lol 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
General Bolt Posted July 3, 2003 Share Posted July 3, 2003 This is a message from Mrs. DingoBreath. My husband loves this game soooooooooooo much. He forgets we have two children who need to be fed lunch when I am out. He plays CMBB from Friday night (approximately 6:00 p.m.) until Sunday evening (9:00 p.m.) when it is his bedtime so he can wake up at 4:00 a.m. Monday morning. I have to call his name at least 10 times before he can turn his head away from the monitor. :eek: Hopefully if we were ever on fire I would only have to call his name 9 times. Oh well, at least I know where he is on the weekends!! Most of the time it is OK for him to play CMBB. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jack Trap Posted July 3, 2003 Share Posted July 3, 2003 CM and the Marriage, well you can probably count on a home front war for about the same number of years. but never, never give an inch! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David Chapuis Posted July 3, 2003 Share Posted July 3, 2003 Originally posted by NG cavscout: The ultra sound tells us that we are having twins! So, there are two more future CM players for me to start training. lol Congratulations! May I be so bold as to suggest a book to read - Babywise (they sell it just about everywhere - even Walmart). It describes a method to train you child to sleep through the night in 6-8 weeks. We used that method with two of our 4 kids, and it worked well. If only we would have used it on all of them! [ July 03, 2003, 10:23 AM: Message edited by: Cpl Dodge ] 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ng cavscout Posted July 3, 2003 Share Posted July 3, 2003 Thanks Dodge, I will look for the book. sleeping through the night is a good thing. BTW, my platoon sergeant just posted a website with pictures from our Annual Training at Ft. McCoy. Would anyone be interested in seeing them? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ng cavscout Posted July 8, 2003 Share Posted July 8, 2003 bump 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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