This is not the Peng Challenge Thread you are looking for..

[Jim Boggs]

Sheesh!

What a night! Where to begin?

Okay then, what is this King Mace abomination all about?

My good(?) Ozziechap, the vacuum you describe would be better controlled by your using "ear-plugs". Unless the vacuum in your head is so strong as to suck them into your cranial cavity in which case, in order to equalize the pressure, you should "blow" as hard as you can in order to allow proper circulation.

You can do it. I've checked around and everyone agrees that you do "blow" with the best of them.

In addition, and I cannot believe that your countryman Noba has not pointed this out, the so-called thrown you are perched on is not exactly royal in nature. Just because you are renting the basement of the outhouse does not give you upstairs thrown sitting priveleges.

In a poll of your former concubines, the question was posed:

Do you think Mace is worthy to be King?

The unanimous response was:

BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!

[Lars]

Originally posted by Mace:

The King does not get scantily clad stenographers.

See? I knew you were working the other side of the street.

[Jim Boggs]

Originally posted by v42below:

Perhaps you might want to start a game with a turn-sending cretin then? CMBB? 500-1000pts or so? Would you not enjoy grinding the only MBT member who, being an SSN, was first knighted and only then taken to squire, into the steppes? And now for a slightly harder question to answer, do you remember where you put your teeth?

[edit: as I remember we started a CMBO game which was never completed, so this would give us the opportunity to catch up on lost quality battle time. It also appears that stikky is just not providing enough blood to satisfy the thirst, so the bloody sacrifice of your troops would be most welcome]

A step in the right direction, however, you seem to still retain a serious issue in timing.

"But Jim, what do you mean?" you ask.

When this Thread was on the CMBB board, you only had CMBO and you were missing the final patch for it. As we discovered when we actually attempted to play CMBO.

Now the Thread is on the CMAK Board and you have apparently finally obtained CMBB. Is this a trend?

Much as I would love the chance to over-run and decimate your Russian whordes, I have passed on my CMBB to my son, so he may delight in it's charms.

Which leads us back again to Square One (a place I am sure you are familiar with). This leaves us with two options:

B. Wait for you to amass enough tip money to buy CMAK. At a quarter a toss, this could take awhile.

XIX. Try once again to load (with ALL patches) CMBO in order to administer the proper thrashing you have earned.

Option B is the preferred choice, so I would suggest that you bump your rate to a buck a head (if you get my meaning), and then you could have CMAK by the end of April.

[Jim Boggs]

Originally posted by stikkypixie:

Boggsy woggsy isn't getting enough atttention? Is he being left out again by his buddies?

Now clearly this poor sot has rendered so many brain cells inoperative that we may not be able to actually communicate with it.

I will make a one time effort to see if there is any sign of intelligent life behind the screen-name.

Sticky see the ball. The ball is red. See the red ball. Oh my, the red ball has gone onto the road. See the road? See the big truck coming down the road? See how fast the truck is going? Get the ball Sticky.

[Boo Radley]

What is it with this fresh crop of SSNs, Serfs, what have you, and their insistance on peppering their posts with nasty little faces? Have they not the wit to verbalize their thoughts in a sufficiently precise and succint manner so they can be readily understood without annoying little drawings?

I blame The Olde Ones who have been absent so long and I blame The Justicar for vacating his post in this time of need.

Will the degredations go unchecked? I say, "Neigh!", and I'm not horsing around either!

I see this burden must needs fall on on the broad shoulders of a loyal and trustworthy Kanigget of the MBT (United we stand. Divided we fall down, go boom.)

So, once again, a True Son of Ohio must stand against all that would rail against the traditions and beliefs of the Sacred Cess.

I do this with no thought of myself, the extra pay, bonuses and perks, the occasional bribes, palm greasing or large expensive gifts bestowed by grateful toadies.

I don't think about it...I just expect it, because you see before you

<big>BOO RADLEY! JUSTICARIOUS EXPIALIDOCIOUS!</BIG>

Yes, boys and girls, there's a new Justicar in town.

[Lars]

Originally posted by Boo Radley:

So, once again, a True Son of Ohio must stand against all that would rail against the traditions and beliefs of the Sacred Cess.

Oh boy, are we in trouble now...

{Where's the white flags stashed at? Do we have any that aren't stained yellow? Anybody seen my cheese-eating surrender monkey uniform? I wanna look natty in the POW camp...}

[Jim Boggs]

Originally posted by Boo Radley:

Yes, boys and girls, there's a new Justicar in town.

The would explain the mass resignations from the steno pool.

[stikkypixie]

Originally posted by Boo Radley:

<big>BOO RADLEY! JUSTICARIOUS EXPIALIDOCIOUS!</BIG>

Yes, boys and girls, there's a new Justicar in town.

I for one won't be as spiteful as boogie woogie and the shoe-salesman, so without further ado let me be the first one to congratulate you on your newly acquired position.

I have for this occasion create a masterwork depicting your person to hang of the wall of our beloved pool (note: i have never had the misfortune of laying eyes on you (touch wood), therefor your picture will be an artist impression).

Tell me what you think of it. Be honest!

And oh Boo because you like them so much .

[dalem]

The Lord High Hullabalooster hereby approves the temporary installation of a primitive simian into the post of Justicar.

-dale

[Jim Boggs]

Whoa now, can we just slow down here for a minute. I need a recap:

mace = King

Boo = justicar

dalem = Lord High Hullapoo'sinhispants.

Hmmm....

Just as I thought, Larry, Moe, and Curly.

[dalem]

Originally posted by Jim Boggs:

Whoa now, can we just slow down here for a minute. I need a recap:

mace = King

Boo = justicar

dalem = Lord High Hullapoo'sinhispants.

Hmmm....

Just as I thought, Larry, Moe, and Curly.

I don't get it.

Send me a setup.

[Mace]

Originally posted by vskalex:

(The Royal) we have noticed that you like doing that quite a lot and thus we are very concerned about your failing eyesight, and hairy palms.

Here....

*flips a gold coin that slipped behind the throne*

...go see a pyschyatr.... Sikiarati.... a shrink!

MACE THE (THOUGHTFUL, CARING) KING

[Mace]

Originally posted by Lars:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Mace:

The King does not get scantily clad stenographers.

See? I knew you were working the other side of the street. </font>

[Boo Radley]

Ha, I say! Ha and ha again! Hah, even.

Mere hours after I claim the title of the new and improved Justicarious Expialidocious of the Peng Challenge Thread, I get a communc...communiq...an E-mail from that bounder Shaw (spelt and bolded out of respect for the office) challenging me to a fight for his title! A title fight, as it were. Forgetting that the last time we met on the field of battle, I routed his puny forces to the tune of 100 to 0. That's One Hundred 2 Zero. Zilch. Nada.

So, I need a set up! Nothing too extensive. We don't want this dragging out for months and months. Maybe 500 points. Meeting Engagement. That sort of thing. I also don't want to tax his short term memory too much, have him wandering away in the middle of the fight, looking for his car keys or prune juice.

Someone send us a nice little batle and I will bestow such largesse upon you, you'll look like dalem in his pimp outfit!

Thank you!

And while I'm thinking of it, word has reached me that some of your subjects are running amok in the land of the Kiwis, King Mace! Best you hie yourself over there and lay down the law!

[Mace]

Originally posted by Boo Radley:

So, I need a set up! Nothing too extensive. We don't want this dragging out for months and months. Maybe 500 points. Meeting Engagement. That sort of thing.

Someone send us a nice little batle and I will bestow such largesse upon you, you'll look like dalem in his pimp outfit!

Hmmmm, the 'royal we' might have just the thing.

A little piece called blister that Kitty and We have been working on for a couple of month.

*entertwines fingers thoughtfully, then leers evily*

We think blister is quite an apt name.

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!

*wipes some spittle from the corner of his mouth*

Oh, but first we need to provide some text. Give me an hour.

Forget the largesse however. We don't want to look like dalem in his pimp outfit.

And while I'm thinking of it, word has reached me that some of your subjects are running amok in the land of the Kiwis, King Mace! Best you hie yourself over there and lay down the law!

Law? Our uber-sheep shock troops have now claimed New Zealand in the name of the MBT!!!

Hail the MBT!

KING (GIVE ME SHEEP OR GIVE ME DEATH) MACE

[Boo Radley]

Originally posted by Mace:

uber-sheep shock troops

I dare you to say that three times fast.

[Mace]

Originally posted by Boo Radley:

I dare you to say that three times fast.

That, that, that.

Where's the challenge?

KING (THIS SPACE FOR RENT) MACE

[Boo Radley]

In your everyday life, my Leige.

[OGSF]

Originally posted by dalem:

OGSF is a gamey bustierd who rushes carriers around like scout jeeps.

I am trying rickets on him for size.

Yoo'reh big gurrrls blouse laddie! One poncy unarmed scoot carrier bein' rrrushed aboot lak a feckin' scoot carrier! Wha' ootrageous an' novel tactic will tha' tactical giant OGSF employ naixt???

An' ye rickets are floppin' doon an' aboot lak a shower o' bamboo perambulators, an' just as terrifyin'. Ah see ye fergo' tae menshun wha' ye did tae tha unarmed scoot carrier. Wha'? Di' ye say laddie FECKIN' NUTHIN'??

Mah wee span'l poots ain ye general durrectshun!

[v42below]

Originally posted by Jim Boggs:

...

When this Thread was on the CMBB board, you only had CMBO and you were missing the final patch for it. As we discovered when we actually attempted to play CMBO.

Now the Thread is on the CMAK Board and you have apparently finally obtained CMBB. Is this a trend?

Much as I would love the chance to over-run and decimate your Russian whordes, I have passed on my CMBB to my son, so he may delight in it's charms.

Which leads us back again to Square One (a place I am sure you are familiar with). This leaves us with two options:

B. Wait for you to amass enough tip money to buy CMAK. At a quarter a toss, this could take awhile.

XIX. Try once again to load (with ALL patches) CMBO in order to administer the proper thrashing you have earned.

Option B is the preferred choice, so I would suggest that you bump your rate to a buck a head (if you get my meaning), and then you could have CMAK by the end of April.

The trouble with old people these days is that they make too many assumptions - he hasn't got CMAK, I can beat him with my eyes closed, no one will notice that I forgot to put on my pants, etc.

The reason for my preference of CMBB is that I currently need to travel a lot on business and only have CMBB installed on my work laptop (I prefer to keep only one non-work related application on my laptop at any given point in time). I am more than happy to play CMAK, but the turn rate will be somewhat slower, as I will have to do all the turn sending from home when I'm there. CMBO is also an option (subject to the same conditions as CMAK) if you are willing to subject your failing eyesight to the horrible graphics.

In case your short term memory has once again wandered off I'll summarise:

SEND ME A SETUP! CMBB is preferred, but CMBO and CMAK will make just as good a paddle for your long-overdue spanking by my bloodthirsty maniacs.

[edited to say Nnnnnnnnni! to the usurper of the crown, who is oblivious to the correct spelling of the word throne and the fact that his highness refers to a prince, rather than a king]

[ April 05, 2004, 10:17 PM: Message edited by: v42below ]

[dalem]

I see London, I see France,

I see dale has made another lovely batch of spaghetti sauce and meatballs which none of you will be able to share.

HAHAHAHA!

[OGSF]

Pillock

[Jim Boggs]

Originally posted by v42below:

I'll summarise:

SEND ME A SETUP! CMBB is preferred, but CMBO and CMAK will make just as good a paddle for your long-overdue spanking by my bloodthirsty maniacs.

It shall be CMAK. The thought of you on the road dreading to come home because another Turn of DOOOOOM awaits you is sufficient to garner my interest. The fact that due to your "business" this foreboding can be extended for weeks, no... MONTHS is a clincher.

But I am a fair man, so I will allow YOU the honor of submitting the set-up. You may have either side, you may attack or defend, it really doesn't matter, the outcome is preordained (ie; You Lose).

[Jim Boggs]

Originally posted by dalem:

I see London, I see France,

I see dale has made another lovely batch of spaghetti sauce and meatballs which none of you will be able to share.

HAHAHAHA!

Where's my set-up Chef Boy R Barf?

[Joe Shaw]

And while I'm thinking of it, word has reached me that some of your subjects are running amok in the land of the Kiwis, King Mace! Best you hie yourself over there and lay down the law!

RIGHT THEN! This is NOT to be borne.

FIRST, I did NOT suggest a fight for the title of Justicar of the Peng Challenge Thread, I stated ... and I quote ...

The better man to be Justicar!

... CLEARLY that would be ME no matter the outcome of the battle. I did demand satisfaction from the pretender due to his abasement of the title of Justicar ... as if ANY OHIOISH person could EVER be Justicar of the Peng Challenge Thread.

SECOND (and more damning in my eyes) is his INABILITY to handle even the simpliest task.

I GAVE HIM, GAVE HIM mind you, the link he posted. And the title to the link ... SHEEP GONE WILD! Given to him ... FREELY, WITH the admonishment that he make good use of it as these opportunites don't come every day. AND HE WASTED IT! THREW IT AWAY! No clever lines, no wordplay, not even a comparison to {Pause for reverential music to play in background} ... GIRLS GONE WILD!.

OH ... you shall suffer for that Boo Radley ... you shall suffer even more than you would have suffered from having to stay in OHIO! For now not only will you STILL have to stay in Ohio but you'll be beaten like a cheap rug, like a puppy peeing on that selfsame rug ... I'm sure you're familiar with the last if not the first.

I MAY return to take up the mantle of Justicar of the Peng Challenge Thread or I may not ... matters are at a delicate stage ... but be assured that YOU will NEVER be Justicar whilst I draw breath ... or even, should I get more ambitious, whilst I paint breath.

Joe

p.s. Mace you are NOT THE Seniour Knight. I am the Seniour Seniour Knight, you're just ... something similar but from Australia. Mind you I like your reign so far and may, MAY choose to support it ... or not.

[ April 05, 2004, 11:42 PM: Message edited by: Joe Shaw ]