This is not the Peng Challenge Thread you are looking for..

[Noba]

Originally posted by Mace:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Speedy:

I wouldn't be losing if you would stop blowing up my thingies.

Oh Sorry, I thought you were talking to me.

*returns to writing 1st quarter report card*

Report Card*************

Speedy: I have very high hopes for Speedy, because he chooses to die in large numbers and behaves in the way I would expect from a decent PBEM opponent (ie lose). Mark B+

Noba, however, is a ill-behaved student who brought lots of AFVs while I went infantry, and then had the audacity to destroy my sole 75mm AT with an artil barage!

A very disruptive element.

He is a prime example of a poor opponent to play, and his skill in this regard has slipped substantially from the previous times I have played him. I expect him to apply himself better by losing next time! Mark D-

Kitty: Mark A++++ just for looking good in tight leather.

*************************************

There, report done.

I'm off to patrol the school grounds - appears to be some crazed Scot riding around on a bike, offering boiled sweeties to the very young. A stick in the spokes should do the trick.

Mace </font>

[Lars]

Originally posted by Nidan1:

Did the dog eat your Emails?

Would the dog even touch one of yours?

sigh....for the dense...

If you didn't see your name here, it's cuz you owe me a turn

Resend, you idjit.

[Lurkur]

Gamey Update!

In honor of The übergnome's impending return, I have piled the bodies of dead Australians high in the desert. Special thanks to Noba, for supplying the Ossies.

Lurk

[chrisl]

That picture looks like CM:Mars Invasion! All it needs is a couple little rovers photoshopped in.

[Moriarty]

Originally posted by Mace:

Now that you do point it out, Morearty, OGSF does seem more fond of his wee small doggy than one should be.

Mace

Mace, I believe you have the right of it in this instance. I submit as Exhibit 1 the following quote from the fuzzy little Scotsman's subsequent post.

… saind tha feckin' file agin, or tha wee span'l gets at!!

In order to save the wee Span'l from any further pain and embarrassment, I have sent the file forthwith, to wit, i.e., e.g., etc., to OhGoodySpan'lFun

[dalem]

Turns out soon ya stinkin' gobs. Including a setoop to that crawling peat-smoker OGSF.

[Kitty]

Originally posted by chrisl:

That picture looks like CM:Mars Invasion! All it needs is a couple little rovers photoshopped in.

LOL =)

Kitty

[v42below]

Well, it's all over.

Someone pass me some warm water and a towel to cleanse me of the blood of the Crimson Brigade scum. That armour needs seeing to, with all those gashes, I might as well get a new one. Kitty, bless her soul, came in third and ended the carnage. As bloodthirsty as I am, I was gettnig weary and my troops needed a rest.

The MBA truely took revenge on the CB this time. Our attacks relegating them to a supporting role. Realising that no CB member would be allowed within a mile of winning, they chose to financially support spidermonk of the Sabre Wielding Wackos (who seems like a nice enough fellow and may be an ally next round, assuming we play). With the financial weight of two alliances behind him, spidermonk snuck through to the first spot unnoticed.

Then it was time for carnage. Having been one of the front runners for a while, and not caring much for the second spot, I decided to demolish the CB, in order to take revenge for their dogpiling in the last round, and the Alliance agreed.

Everyone helped out as much as they could. A special thanks goes out to Queen YK2 aka Mordred, Seanachai, Sturmy, Leeo, Sgt. Viljuri, the Wafflers who helped me in a time of need, and of course HVAP for his unwavering resolve. I apologise if I have forgotten anyone - my helmet sustained many a knock in the game, so the memory is not what it used to be.

We progressively took down and completely demolished every single CBer who was brave enough to be a public member - Milkman, Maverick, Tethias Veneteer, Mugse and Balder. Considering that several of these were consistently in the top ten, it was no easy feat. By the end of it all, none of them would be in the top 50.

Oh how they whined and squeeled! To give them credit they fought bravely to the last man, but alas we slaughtered those too.

For my part, I must say that I managed to avoid breaches in my defences throughout the game. Even when spidermonk, having won the game, turned his huge army against me and wiped mine out, the CMers in the game came to my aid and in 5 minutes I was stronger than before the attack.

Unfortunately many were not as fortunate as I - HVAP, despite his valiant efforts, was wiped out, as was the Queen who ran in first place for most of the game and was mercilessly dogpiled. I did my best to ensure their smouldering fiefs were avenged.

It was fun while it lasted, but I doubt I will play again - my blood debt to the CB is now repaid and real life is catching up with me. However, if we get the numbers and organise a general CM alliance, which could rival Yorick and CB combined - I will have no choice but to play!

Final Rnakings http://www.evolvingworlds.com/fiefdom/rankings.php

Strength and Honour, my friends!

[ March 29, 2004, 08:24 PM: Message edited by: v42below ]

[v42below]

stinkywinky - I am now free from my fiefdom obligations, our struggle shall soon resume.

[Aces_and_8's]

Mental midget wrestling???

[v42below]

No

[dalem]

Yeah I'm sure those two gnat-brained simpletons could keep their contest of non-strengths going steady even through a bout of Fiefdom.

[v42below]

stinkywinky has started his attack with an artilery barrage on the victory flags. How uncouth. Having placed my troops nowhere near the flags, I remain, unfortunately for stinky, completely unphased by his waste of ammunition, as my Russian bogatyri slowly consume their extra rations of 42below, graciously provided by the New Zealand troops from CMAK.

(Of course this could be a feint, in order to get stinky to move the barrage away from my hapless troops which are actually being cut down in swathes as they scream for mercy directly under the barrage)

[Or this could be a feint within a feint and my troops are nowhere near the flags, as discussed above]

{However, the bene gesserit discipline, which I am a big fan of, reffers to a strategy of "a feint within a feint, within a feint", so you never know}

Now that stinky has warped his fragile little mind trying to figure out what the hell I just posted, hopefully he'll just click go without issuing orders and concede the game, or, better still, charge me with everything he's got.

You've got mail, stinky

[dalem]

Gamey Updates you say?

Well so far we have

Bluesman: Well, clearly once we make contact he will be writhing in the grip of my superior play.

Boo: Just finished writhing in the grip of my superior play. Don't know the score yet, but Boo cheats, the AI is to blame, the scenario was biased, and this one made me hate Croda all over again. Why Croda? Why not Croda? And whatever happens remember I set some of his guys on fire.

leeo: A nice one involving bridges, funny-talking Kiwis, and sneaky Nazi bastages that won't die even when I cross the river. I am lulling leeo into a false sense of security, but truly he is writhing in the grip of my superior play.

MrSpkr: Just beginning. I am saving the setup tomorrow so I can set up in a fashion that will ensure that he will end up writhing in the grip of my superior play.

86smopuim: He writhed in the grip of my superior play and then I crushed the life out his Panzer battalion with my Weakened scratch force of GIs and their ATGs. Oh, and lots of Naval gun support. I am working a new sigline for him.

Lt. Hortlund: Was writhing in the grip of my superior play quite handily then -poof- he was gone. Hopefully the looney lad will return soon.

Speedbump: Remember Good ol' Speedbump? Well, he is barely living up to his moniker as my Nisei battalion restores the family honor. He is, when I can find his units, writhing in the grip of my superior play.

Hiram: Sure it looks like Hiram is destroying all my tanks at range with his unkillable Grants of Doom. Sure it looks like I'm not advancing much further with what little I have left. But to ME it looks like, you guessed it, he is writhing in the grip of my superior play.

Papa Khann: What to say? It's rare that Papa Khann ever plays to a level that is worthy of comment, but this one was so special that it just needs to be transcribed. First he dared approach my British held village. No doubt during tea time too, eh what? Well that got our dander up and we viciously watched his advancing column get strafed by the RAF for about four days.

While that was going one he brilliantly funneled some sort of half tracked force through a gap in the stone walls on my leftish, right onto my TRP, and we bravely called down battery after battery of 25lber fire on his pointy Nazzy haids from our rearward FO. We actually had to wake a sharpshooter and an ATR Bren to take care of the leakers.

We had some more tea and watched from our trenches as he sorted out the flaming mass of twisted metal that had been his advancing column. After having a few more PzIVs punctured by some 6lber ATGs to his front while he was doing that, he wisely decided to abandon the main road as "too obvious", even for a Papa Khann.

So we had more tea, shooed the scared ATG crews back to the rear lines after they had encountered some few bits of shrapnel and 8mm lead, and waited patiently as Papa Khann slowly, carefully, and stealthily led his remaining couple of tanks and a company of infantry across the ford beside the bridge, up the bank, and right into the patch of woods that I had my 76mm mortar crews sighted on for observed fire.

That infantry company responded so well to mortar bombs in the branches and Vickers fire to their flank that they seemed rather overwhelmed in their appreciation, some going so far as to crawl back and tell their friends.

It's almost as if, and I know I'm going out on a limb here, I'm writhing in the grip of Papa Khann's inferior play.

Lars: I ploinked one of his tankypoos from about a klick out with a righteous Stuart shot, but there is some abbreviated nastiness to my immediate front. Soon we will have that sorted out and he will be properly writhing in the grip of my superior play.

OGSF: The barking poodle abuser thinks that rain and long defender-friendly lines of sight can keep him from writhing in the grip of my superior play. I doubt it.

And holy crap I have 5 ROWIV tourney games going. Not allowed to say much about them except that they are all also writhing in the grip of my superior play.

[ March 30, 2004, 03:21 AM: Message edited by: dalem ]

[vskalex]

42 below normal IQ -

Check out what our friends in the CB has to say about you:

just so you know, I was a "brave enough to be a public member" of the CB from the start of the round, I helped flatten Queeny (although we only took her out the top 10, the complete flattening didn't happen until you did it to Mav - we arn't quite the same scum you are - not quite).

I hit Leeo and Sgt. Viljuri at various times in support of other CB members yet don't remember return fire. Oh and I finished 26th (yes, that is in the top 50) despite not playing the last 6 hours or so (I guess I have a million or 2 in the bank by then which would probably have got me somewhere around 10th spot).

And finally, Spidermonk (or FencingGuy as we know him) *is* in the CB. The only reason he was indie (if indeed you can call us giving him millions of gold "indie") was because (in his words) "being in CB paints too big a target on your back".

See you next round

See you indeed.

[Noba]

Originally posted by Lurkur:

Gamey Update!

In honor of The übergnome's impending return, I have piled the bodies of dead Australians high in the desert. Special thanks to Noba, for supplying the Ossies.

Lurk

Stopp-itssss. We hatess itsss.

Oh good. I just lost. Badley..(sort of rhymes, eh Boo?)

Noba.

[Herr Oberst]

A veritable Phoenix... that is the MBT... arising from the ashe... er, Cess to once again become a place for the postings of games, and gamey updates.

Carry on.

[Lars]

Originally posted by vskalex:

42 below normal IQ -

Check out what our friends in the CB has to say about you:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />just so you know, I was a "brave enough to be a public member" of the CB from the start of the round, I helped flatten Queeny (although we only took her out the top 10, the complete flattening didn't happen until you did it to Mav - we arn't quite the same scum you are - not quite).

I hit Leeo and Sgt. Viljuri at various times in support of other CB members yet don't remember return fire. Oh and I finished 26th (yes, that is in the top 50) despite not playing the last 6 hours or so (I guess I have a million or 2 in the bank by then which would probably have got me somewhere around 10th spot).

And finally, Spidermonk (or FencingGuy as we know him) *is* in the CB. The only reason he was indie (if indeed you can call us giving him millions of gold "indie") was because (in his words) "being in CB paints too big a target on your back".

See you next round

See you indeed. </font>

[Nidan1]

Check your Email, twit, spend less time in fluffdom, and more time on fire in the desert.

[stikkypixie]

Originally posted by v42below:

stinkywinky has started his attack with an artilery barrage on the victory flags. How uncouth. Having placed my troops nowhere near the flags, I remain, unfortunately for stinky, completely unphased by his waste of ammunition, as my Russian bogatyri slowly consume their extra rations of 42below, graciously provided by the New Zealand troops from CMAK.

(Of course this could be a feint, in order to get stinky to move the barrage away from my hapless troops which are actually being cut down in swathes as they scream for mercy directly under the barrage)

[Or this could be a feint within a feint and my troops are nowhere near the flags, as discussed above]

{However, the bene gesserit discipline, which I am a big fan of, reffers to a strategy of "a feint within a feint, within a feint", so you never know}

Now that stinky has warped his fragile little mind trying to figure out what the hell I just posted, hopefully he'll just click go without issuing orders and concede the game, or, better still, charge me with everything he's got.

You've got mail, stinky

alcohol containing beverage darn it, when will you learn to delete the PBEM file i send you :mad: :mad: . Your replies are longer that this whole thread!!!

But trying to confuse me with several turns in one email will do you no good, the automated system is not fooled by that!

And I'll have you know I WILL waste ammunition when you choose do it. All my Renaissance men need is sharpened fruit and maybe the odd pointed stick, to completely crush

(<== alliterations ==>) your proletariate peasants, and make their miserable life, more miserable then they day the laid eyes on you.

YOU GOT MAIL yourself, NAH!!!

[Lurkur]

Originally posted by Noba:

Oh good. I just lost. Badley..(sort of rhymes, eh Boo?)

Noba.

No no! You lost very well! Almost perfectly...heh heh.

[Lars]

Originally posted by Nidan1:

Check your Email, twit, spend less time in fluffdom, and more time on fire in the desert.

"Well since MBA was actively kicking us in the balls all game what else were we to do?" - Maverick

You'll get yours soon too, Nidan.

[stikkypixie]

What another kick in the balls?

[Papa Khann]

Originally posted by Lars:

Update from the Front:

Papa Kahn – Losing.

Losing? Losing? Ye gods you lamer, we haven't even made CONTACT yet.

It's turn freaking 3 and already this one has been whining to me in his emails to please hurry up and move towards his lines faster.

Lars, obviously your limited attention span (limited no doubt to alcohol, poodles, and the game formerly known as Twister) is hard pressed to focus for more than 3 turns without something exploding. Either that or you've mistaken me for Boo.

Patience, grasshophead. You'll get yours soon enough.

Papa

[Papa Khann]

Originally posted by dalem:

Gamey Updates you say?

Well so far we have...

(Edited to remove a drawn out tirade about various maggots and other sundry sorts writhing in the grip of dalem's surfperches.)

Papa Khann: What to say?

(Edited to spare you all the pain of rereading dalem's account of what he was wearing each day he sent a turn, and what his dog had for dinner the day the RAF planes first ignited one of my tanks, and what his cat regurgitated the day I tried to cross that infernal river.)

Admittedly, we have done less well in this game than we had hoped.

Admittedly, we have taken slightly more casulties than one might deem acceptable for an operation of this nature.

Admittedly, were we actually a commander in the Axis forces during the period of time portrayed, the repositioning of our command staff to the Russian Front would have been immediate.

But hey, it's a game, there's always next time, dalem cheats, the sun was in our eyes, the scenario is unbalanced, and to top it all off I may have eaten something that disturbed my sleep the night before I completed the setup and first turn orders. So there.

Papa