MrPeng Posted December 7, 2004 Share Posted December 7, 2004 If a centipede a pint, and a velocipede a quart, how much could a precipice? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted December 7, 2004 Share Posted December 7, 2004 Originally posted by rleete: The buck definitely does not stop here. You're weak. Weak as water. All I need do is walk into the woods and simply demand that the deer walk up and lie down. And they do. Pity I don't hunt deer. The bastards actually follow me around, demanding that I 'harvest' them. Annoying buggers. Venison sausage is delicious, though. 'Course, I'm a follower of the Goddess, and you're just some neo-con simp who can kill trees. Next year, just send me the money you paid for your deer license, and I'll put it to better use by getting Dalem and Lars drunk enough to shoot each other. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted December 7, 2004 Share Posted December 7, 2004 Originally posted by MrPeng: If a centipede a pint, and a velocipede a quart, how much could a precipice? It could piss as much as prescience showed it should The centipede as ever much it could The velocipede no measure that was found short And questioned on capacity, they each had their retort. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalem Posted December 7, 2004 Author Share Posted December 7, 2004 How much wood Could a Seanachai chuck If a Seanachai took a brickbat in the windpipe? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted December 7, 2004 Share Posted December 7, 2004 Originally posted by dalem: How much wood Could a Seanachai chuck If a Seanachai took a brickbat in the windpipe? You long for my approval. And to hit me in the throat with a brick. My father always told me: Figure out what people want, and you can manipulate them with it. Well, it was either my father, or Machiavelli. Me Dad made more money, so it was probably him. Of course, it's hard to put his advice into complete execution when what people want most is to kill or maim you. But I carry on... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Emrys Posted December 7, 2004 Share Posted December 7, 2004 Originally posted by Moraine Sedai: Is *that* Joe the Cat?? Wow! He's gotten big on his diet of centipedes. No, actually, dalem has a very tiny bathroom. Michael Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Emrys Posted December 7, 2004 Share Posted December 7, 2004 Originally posted by Moraine Sedai: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Boo Radley: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Michael Emrys: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Boo Radley: Idiots. Says someone who can't even spell 'competent'. What a hoot! Right, because usually the compentent don't wait that long. (Jerry Pournelle)Michael </font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nidan1 Posted December 7, 2004 Share Posted December 7, 2004 Speaking of centipedes.....we are still speaking about centipedes? One night, in Vietnam, I am lounging in my foxhole, well lounging may not be a good discription...but with the passing of time the stories soften a bit. So I'm lounging in my foxhole, there is a full moon, and everything around me has an iridescent glow to it. Its as quiet as a morgue, the only noise is made by the beating wings of some large insect flying around the area. I notice a brief movement near the lip of my cozy foxhole..... cozy, I dont think so, but as I said before..... well anyway I notice something moving, so I peer over the edge, and I see this thing, a centipede or millipede, couldn't count the legs in the dark, it was a thick as the spring on a garage door. I took my Ka-Bar, and chopped the thing up into three pieces, all of which happily scurried off in different directions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted December 7, 2004 Share Posted December 7, 2004 Originally posted by Nidan1: Speaking of centipedes.....we are still speaking about centipedes? One night, in Vietnam, I am lounging in my foxhole, well lounging may not be a good discription...but with the passing of time the stories soften a bit. So I'm lounging in my foxhole, there is a full moon, and everything around me has an iridescent glow to it. Its as quiet as a morgue, the only noise is made by the beating wings of some large insect flying around the area. I notice a brief movement near the lip of my cozy foxhole..... cozy, I dont think so, but as I said before..... well anyway I notice something moving, so I peer over the edge, and I see this thing, a centipede or millipede, couldn't count the legs in the dark, it was a thick as the spring on a garage door. I took my Ka-Bar, and chopped the thing up into three pieces, all of which happily scurried off in different directions......where they lived happily ever after. THE END Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nidan1 Posted December 7, 2004 Share Posted December 7, 2004 Don't finish my stories for me, pillock! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Herr Oberst Posted December 7, 2004 Share Posted December 7, 2004 Originally posted by Lars: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by dalem: It's nice to see Joe the Cat brushes after every meal. You should consider buying a toothbrush for yourself too, dalem. </font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFCElvis Posted December 7, 2004 Share Posted December 7, 2004 Wankers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lars Posted December 7, 2004 Share Posted December 7, 2004 Originally posted by Elvis: Wankers. Hmm, a little something for the guy who deleted the v1.01 executable just a bit too early... How sweet to be an Idiot, As harmless as a cloud, Too small to hide the sun, Almost poking fun At the warm but insecure, untidy crowd. How sweet to be an Idiot, And dip my brain in joy, Children laughing at my back, With no fear of attack, As much retaliation as a toy. How sweet to be an idiot. How sweet... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFCElvis Posted December 7, 2004 Share Posted December 7, 2004 Dear Lars, The wonderful thing about being an idiot is that I am oblivious to it and so it doesn't get me down. The simple life of a moron. Love, Elvis Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted December 7, 2004 Share Posted December 7, 2004 I'm off to California, only a day trip but an important one as I'm up for a promotion and have an interview today! Amuse yourselves at my expense if you like by imagining how YOU'D conduct the interview, how you imagine I'LL comport myself or by posting "Letters of Reference" to the interviewers on my behalf. Consider it my Christmas present to you. Joe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moraine Sedai Posted December 7, 2004 Share Posted December 7, 2004 I don't have the energy right now to do anything more than wish you luck on your trip & interview. I must be coming down with something...*sigh* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted December 7, 2004 Share Posted December 7, 2004 Originally posted by Joe Shaw: I'm off to California, only a day trip but an important one as I'm up for a promotion and have an interview today! Amuse yourselves at my expense if you like by imagining how YOU'D conduct the interview, how you imagine I'LL comport myself or by posting "Letters of Reference" to the interviewers on my behalf. Consider it my Christmas present to you. Joe Reference letter for Mr. Joseph "Crazy Legs" Shaw Dec. 7th, 2004 Dear Sir or Madam or Ms. or Polyunsaturated Hermaphroditic Lifeform, I first met Mr. Shaw back during this nations most uncivil Civil War. He was a callow boy and a beardless youth, both of whom had high aspirations of mediocrity. Toward this end, I gave him his first job as a dancer in my flea circus. Oh, how the marks and rubes loved to watch him strut and prance! And, I think, it was his innate gracefulness that led to his eventual position as Head Mahout of the East Florida Manatee Dance Ensemble and Mortgage Banking Extravaganza. It was here that Joe wore many hats. Not out of need, mind you, but rather because of an escalating follicle migration. They were migrating from his head to the bathtub drain. Oh, of course you could say that he could always try a toupee, but living, as he does, on the windswept, lofty plains of Utah, they were always coming off, flying through the air, leading to headlines in some of the tabloid magazines of 'GIANT ALIEN TARANTULAS SPOTTED FLYING OVER SALT LAKE CITY'. This is not to say that he must ALWAYS wear a hat! No, when indoors he will either wear a flowered bathing cap, or for very important meetings, a fashionably styled toupee with a chin strap. Would Joe be right in the position you are offering? Better to ask if a camel can pass through the eye of a potato or if when a tree falls in the forest and no one is there to hear, will it be daylight savings time? I hope this helps in your decision making process. Regards, Dr. Fancy Shmidlap, Ph.D, D.D.S, L.S.M.F.T, P.D.Q Bach Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalem Posted December 7, 2004 Author Share Posted December 7, 2004 Originally posted by Nidan1: Speaking of centipedes.....we are still speaking about centipedes? One night, in Vietnam, I am lounging in my foxhole, well lounging may not be a good discription...but with the passing of time the stories soften a bit. So I'm lounging in my foxhole, there is a full moon, and everything around me has an iridescent glow to it. Its as quiet as a morgue, the only noise is made by the beating wings of some large insect flying around the area. I notice a brief movement near the lip of my cozy foxhole..... cozy, I dont think so, but as I said before..... well anyway I notice something moving, so I peer over the edge, and I see this thing, a centipede or millipede, couldn't count the legs in the dark, it was a thick as the spring on a garage door. I took my Ka-Bar, and chopped the thing up into three pieces, all of which happily scurried off in different directions. See? It's stuff like this that makes me wonder if people are crazy when they get all dreamy-eyed over saving jungles and rainforests - don't they know what's in there? I mean hell's bells, who wants to save a jungle only to find out it's full of Nidan's in holes? Bonkers, I tell ya. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hiram Sedai Posted December 7, 2004 Share Posted December 7, 2004 Dear Elvis, How about them Iggles? Your biggest fan, Hiram PS At least you're smarter than Peng Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Herr Oberst Posted December 7, 2004 Share Posted December 7, 2004 Originally posted by Joe Shaw: I'm off to California, only a day trip but an important one as I'm up for a promotion and have an interview today! Amuse yourselves at my expense if you like by imagining how YOU'D conduct the interview, how you imagine I'LL comport myself or by posting "Letters of Reference" to the interviewers on my behalf. Consider it my Christmas present to you. Joe The Interview Interviewer: Mr. Shaw, spelt but not bolded, I understand you are up for a promotion... *Joe quickly stops scratching, pauses, and decides against sniffing... * Joe:"Why yes sir, that I am..." Interviewer: So can you tell me in no particular terms why I should choose you over the multitudes of other candidates that are equally qualified... Candidates like, say, Joe the Cat? Hmmm??? Joe: Well, I never eat centipedes... and I too have my very own toothbrush... Interviewer: I see. Next question. The mortgage banking industry is governed by a great deal of legal strictures... Do you or do you not believe in the Order of Law? Joe: By Law, would you mean something like Rules? Aah rules... Why yes sir, yes I do. You see, the rules are the only things that keep chaos at bay. Yes, if we did not have rules, what would happen to my beloved Cesspool? Odious scum sucking newbies posting all over the place... no proper challenges... insults to the Ladies... cats and dogs living together... Rules. I live for rules... In fact, just last week I had to play my role of Justiciar yet again... Interviewer: Excuse me... you had a role as a carrot? Was this your child's school play? Joe: No, not a carrot... I was in the role of Just-i-ciar again Interviewer: So you were a car in your child's school play? Joe: No no no... a Justiciar. You know, a high judicial officer in medieval England... Interviewer: Oh. Medieval England you say? Aren't you a bit old to be running around playing Monty Python... * at that moment, the door to the interview room would burst open, and three figures enter wearing old red robes, two tall and one of more gnomish stature* Joe: *eep* Peng: NOBODY expects the Cesspool Inquisition... Our chief weapon is The Brick... The Brick and Coventry... Coventry and The Brick... Our two weapons are Coventry and The Brick... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hiram Sedai Posted December 7, 2004 Share Posted December 7, 2004 Cue applause!!! clap clap clap clap Berra nice! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrPeng Posted December 7, 2004 Share Posted December 7, 2004 ... ruthless efficiency and an almost fanatical devotion to Seanachai Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leeo Posted December 7, 2004 Share Posted December 7, 2004 My Mother, Nancy, trod this Earth with a determined will and powerful mind. She did many things to change many peoples lives for the better. She was also among my best friends, and I love her dearly. She died peacefully early yesterday morning with me holding her hand. Nancy, April 24, 1939-December 6,2004. Turns out eventually. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rune Posted December 7, 2004 Share Posted December 7, 2004 Leeo, Condolences to you and your family. I will refrain from sending my newest evilness your way. Rune Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moraine Sedai Posted December 7, 2004 Share Posted December 7, 2004 Strength to you and your family during this time, Leeo. And an uncharacteristic *hug* from me as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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