Guest PondScum Posted April 21, 2003 Share Posted April 21, 2003 Really Quite Gamey AAR, Or At Least It Smells That Way . . . With Spoilers . . . No, Really . . . Don't Say I Didn't Warn You . . . Ok, Fine, Be Like That Setup Leutnant Hortlund sends me a scenario he's been "wanting to play": warning flag #1. The briefing says that my valorous Commie hordes are to resist a breakout by "weakened remnants of the German army, maybe even one or two tanks": warning flag #2. The scenario is called "Once A King": HUGE SCREAMING WARNING FLAG #3. Naturally, I ignore all these warning flags and set up my little pop-guns with gay abandon (not that there's anything wrong with that). Turn 1 Kubelwagen zips by a platoon of my poor little 45mm guns out on the front line. Ignore it. Gamey jeep-scouting bastiche. Turn 2 Two HONKING GREAT KING TIGERS steam into view. Once A King, geddit? Oh, how I laugh. Anyway, the gun crews decide to go down fighting, and manage two track hits as the turrets swing slowly to engage. I admire their pluck, and make a mental note to ask the Commissar for double-plus-good grave markers. If we can find all the pieces afterwards, that is. Those 88mm shells make SUCH a mess. Turn 3 Leutnant Hortland surrenders. Something about both his King Tigers being immobilized... 100-0 in 3 turns. Beat that, ya slackers. [ April 21, 2003, 01:43 PM: Message edited by: PondScum ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest PondScum Posted April 21, 2003 Share Posted April 21, 2003 Really Quite Gamey AAR, Or At Least It Smells That Way . . . With Spoilers . . . No, Really . . . Don't Say I Didn't Warn You . . . Ok, Fine, Be Like That Setup Leutnant Hortlund sends me a scenario he's been "wanting to play": warning flag #1. The briefing says that my valorous Commie hordes are to resist a breakout by "weakened remnants of the German army, maybe even one or two tanks": warning flag #2. The scenario is called "Once A King": HUGE SCREAMING WARNING FLAG #3. Naturally, I ignore all these warning flags and set up my little pop-guns with gay abandon (not that there's anything wrong with that). Turn 1 Kubelwagen zips by a platoon of my poor little 45mm guns out on the front line. Ignore it. Gamey jeep-scouting bastiche. Turn 2 Two HONKING GREAT KING TIGERS steam into view. Once A King, geddit? Oh, how I laugh. Anyway, the gun crews decide to go down fighting, and manage two track hits as the turrets swing slowly to engage. I admire their pluck, and make a mental note to ask the Commissar for double-plus-good grave markers. If we can find all the pieces afterwards, that is. Those 88mm shells make SUCH a mess. Turn 3 Leutnant Hortland surrenders. Something about both his King Tigers being immobilized... 100-0 in 3 turns. Beat that, ya slackers. [ April 21, 2003, 01:43 PM: Message edited by: PondScum ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leeo Posted April 21, 2003 Share Posted April 21, 2003 Not that it needs to be said, but I'd like to make it clear that only wussies surrender after three turns. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leeo Posted April 21, 2003 Share Posted April 21, 2003 Not that it needs to be said, but I'd like to make it clear that only wussies surrender after three turns. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hortlund Posted April 21, 2003 Author Share Posted April 21, 2003 Yeah....like I'm going to spend 40-something turns trying to WALK a couple of decimated platoons through a gigantic map with no support aside from one halftrack, two trucks and two kubelwagons. [ April 21, 2003, 03:07 PM: Message edited by: Leutnant Hortlund ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hortlund Posted April 21, 2003 Author Share Posted April 21, 2003 Yeah....like I'm going to spend 40-something turns trying to WALK a couple of decimated platoons through a gigantic map with no support aside from one halftrack, two trucks and two kubelwagons. [ April 21, 2003, 03:07 PM: Message edited by: Leutnant Hortlund ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leeo Posted April 21, 2003 Share Posted April 21, 2003 Originally posted by Leutnant Hortlund: Yeah....like I'm going to spend 40-something turns trying to WALK a couple of decimated platoons through a gigantic map with no support aside from one halftrack, two trucks and two kubelwagons. Like I said... Leutnant WUSSY. You must not be set on glory, 'cause you sure don't have the guts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leeo Posted April 21, 2003 Share Posted April 21, 2003 Originally posted by Leutnant Hortlund: Yeah....like I'm going to spend 40-something turns trying to WALK a couple of decimated platoons through a gigantic map with no support aside from one halftrack, two trucks and two kubelwagons. Like I said... Leutnant WUSSY. You must not be set on glory, 'cause you sure don't have the guts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hortlund Posted April 21, 2003 Author Share Posted April 21, 2003 Originally posted by Leeo: You must not be set on glory, 'cause you sure don't have the guts. Oh...you mean the guts to stick it out in a 40+ turns CMBB PBEM game? Or the glory in taking your precious little pixeltruppen to another great victory that will echo through the annals of made up-history? Get real. [ April 21, 2003, 03:30 PM: Message edited by: Leutnant Hortlund ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hortlund Posted April 21, 2003 Author Share Posted April 21, 2003 Originally posted by Leeo: You must not be set on glory, 'cause you sure don't have the guts. Oh...you mean the guts to stick it out in a 40+ turns CMBB PBEM game? Or the glory in taking your precious little pixeltruppen to another great victory that will echo through the annals of made up-history? Get real. [ April 21, 2003, 03:30 PM: Message edited by: Leutnant Hortlund ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snarker Posted April 21, 2003 Share Posted April 21, 2003 Messing with a copyright lawywer? Hmm, why am I left with the impression Hortlund just registered the name Leeo and you'll be getting a 'cease and desist' any day now? Edited because I wanted to say: Buahaha!!! [ April 21, 2003, 03:35 PM: Message edited by: Snarker ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snarker Posted April 21, 2003 Share Posted April 21, 2003 Messing with a copyright lawywer? Hmm, why am I left with the impression Hortlund just registered the name Leeo and you'll be getting a 'cease and desist' any day now? Edited because I wanted to say: Buahaha!!! [ April 21, 2003, 03:35 PM: Message edited by: Snarker ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leeo Posted April 21, 2003 Share Posted April 21, 2003 Originally posted by Leutnant Hortlund: Get real. Real is making the best with what you have. Real is fighting and dying like a combatant. Real is playing through to the bitter end. Real is the lump of gristle between your ears that you pawn off as a brain. I imagine a wet, brown paper bag is also a significant obstacle to you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leeo Posted April 21, 2003 Share Posted April 21, 2003 Originally posted by Leutnant Hortlund: Get real. Real is making the best with what you have. Real is fighting and dying like a combatant. Real is playing through to the bitter end. Real is the lump of gristle between your ears that you pawn off as a brain. I imagine a wet, brown paper bag is also a significant obstacle to you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hortlund Posted April 21, 2003 Author Share Posted April 21, 2003 hehehe is this guy for real? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hortlund Posted April 21, 2003 Author Share Posted April 21, 2003 hehehe is this guy for real? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hortlund Posted April 21, 2003 Author Share Posted April 21, 2003 Originally posted by Leeo: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Leutnant Hortlund: Get real. Real is making the best with what you have. Real is fighting and dying like a combatant. Real is playing through to the bitter end. Real is the lump of gristle between your ears that you pawn off as a brain. I imagine a wet, brown paper bag is also a significant obstacle to you? </font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hortlund Posted April 21, 2003 Author Share Posted April 21, 2003 Originally posted by Leeo: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Leutnant Hortlund: Get real. Real is making the best with what you have. Real is fighting and dying like a combatant. Real is playing through to the bitter end. Real is the lump of gristle between your ears that you pawn off as a brain. I imagine a wet, brown paper bag is also a significant obstacle to you? </font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted April 21, 2003 Share Posted April 21, 2003 Personally, I think that both Leeeeeo and Lt. Headcheese are both a pair of mincing, makeover mavens, who's concept of a manly game is playing "Spank-Tag" with bikers. (Not that there's anything wrong with that.) On the other hand, my former squire, Nibblet, is a huge cloud of halitosis, whom other people play with just as a personal favor to me. Snarfle, or Snarker is a gamey twit, who I believe hacked into the game engine. That is the only way a slope-browed, knuckle-dragging Pennslytoonian could beat me. My Gawd, the Amish consider him to be backward. After I finish a few more of my present games, rest assured that i will take you on again. As for MrSpnkr, if I spray Lysol at you, will you go away? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted April 21, 2003 Share Posted April 21, 2003 Personally, I think that both Leeeeeo and Lt. Headcheese are both a pair of mincing, makeover mavens, who's concept of a manly game is playing "Spank-Tag" with bikers. (Not that there's anything wrong with that.) On the other hand, my former squire, Nibblet, is a huge cloud of halitosis, whom other people play with just as a personal favor to me. Snarfle, or Snarker is a gamey twit, who I believe hacked into the game engine. That is the only way a slope-browed, knuckle-dragging Pennslytoonian could beat me. My Gawd, the Amish consider him to be backward. After I finish a few more of my present games, rest assured that i will take you on again. As for MrSpnkr, if I spray Lysol at you, will you go away? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leeo Posted April 21, 2003 Share Posted April 21, 2003 Originally posted by Leutnant Hortlund: ...in case you came to your senses ...You quaking querulous quisling. Were I to "come to my senses," I would canvass the assembled Kanniggets and hangers-on to run you out for shirking your duties to the game, your opponent, and the love of battle itself that drives this very thread. It is just a game, but the way one plays it; THAT is an art. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leeo Posted April 21, 2003 Share Posted April 21, 2003 Originally posted by Leutnant Hortlund: ...in case you came to your senses ...You quaking querulous quisling. Were I to "come to my senses," I would canvass the assembled Kanniggets and hangers-on to run you out for shirking your duties to the game, your opponent, and the love of battle itself that drives this very thread. It is just a game, but the way one plays it; THAT is an art. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrSpkr Posted April 21, 2003 Share Posted April 21, 2003 Boo, you are overplaying the shy wallflower. It doesn't become you. As to Lt. Hortlund, he is of the Shaving Haus. 'Nuff said. Steve Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrSpkr Posted April 21, 2003 Share Posted April 21, 2003 Boo, you are overplaying the shy wallflower. It doesn't become you. As to Lt. Hortlund, he is of the Shaving Haus. 'Nuff said. Steve Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrSpkr Posted April 21, 2003 Share Posted April 21, 2003 Originally posted by Leeo: Were I to "come to my senses," I would canvass the assembled Kanniggets and hangers-on to run you out for shirking your duties to the game, your opponent, and the love of battle itself that drives this very thread. It is just a game, but the way one plays it; THAT is an art. Ahh, young Leeo, I too remember the days when the cry of 'It's not winning or losing, but the TAUNT that's important!' wafted through fields filled with dead and dying Hirams, Shavians, Speedbumps, more Shavians, Geiers, and still more Shavians. It is a sad state of affairs when one of the Justicar's own fails to cleave to this simple maxim. But, honestly, could we have hoped for anything more? Steve Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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