The Peng Challenge Thread - A Coalition of the Swilling

[Moraine Sedai]

HAPPY BURPDAY, YEKNOD!

Here's some carrot cake and thistle salad for ya.

[Boo Radley]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

... only being allowed a 'clear fluids diet'.

Like gin?

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by Boo_Radley:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Seanachai:

... only being allowed a 'clear fluids diet'.

Like gin? </font>

[Lars]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Lars:

The Good News is that the ice is going off Lake Minnetonka even as we speak.

The Bad News is a couple hundred tons of it just smeared my dock all down the shoreline.

sigh...

This won't negatively impact taking your fellow Minnesota Cesspoolers on drunken parades around the lake, will it? </font>

[Yeknodathon]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

Happy Birthday, Sir Yeknod!

Do not despair over having only the scent of a cherry starburst to mull upon. Oh, and by the way, they have starbursts in England? When I was there in my youth, the ****e the English ate and described as 'candy' was some of the vilest stuff I've yet encountered on this earth. The English have a postitive fixation with ginger, and for some reason believe that a primary ingredient in Asian cooking should also be bunged into 'candy' in quantity to cause perforations of the stomach.

The Gnome feels your pain, Yeknod. Or, rather, he feels his own, which currently includes only being allowed a 'clear fluids diet'. There is nothing about this that resembles eating, and jello is the most 'food-like' thing to enter my system these days. From my pain, I extend my sense of empathy to try and comprehend yours. Of course, my initial reaction is that I would probably eat the damn starburst wrapper just to have something solid enter the system.

Oh, well. Felicitations, in any case.

[hums the Paddock Starburst Song]

There be orange, orange, orange

Which Floridiots do grow

Strawberry, berry, bury

In deepest hole below

And lime 'n' lemon, so tasty yet

And blaaaaaaackcuraaaaaaaaaant.... [pausing for dramatic effect]

That Yankies never get.

*sniff" gawd knows what Oztralians get...

[... and as the donkey goes its donkey way, this narrator offers rest and peace to Gnomes in discomfort]

Yeknod o' tha Thistle and Defender of the Paddock

[ April 03, 2003, 04:22 PM: Message edited by: Yeknodathon ]

[Yeknodathon]

Originally posted by Yeknodathon:

*sniff" gawd knows what Oztralians get...

[swings a tail for special thinking]

*sniff* suppose its eucalyptus...

[swings again]

...'n' wombat

Yeknod

[Gaylord Focker]

Happy Birthday!

For your gift i will refrain from a scathing taunt assault on your fragile ego and wimbly wit.

*editing is fun*

[ April 03, 2003, 05:36 PM: Message edited by: Gaylord Focker ]

[Boo Radley]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Boo_Radley:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Seanachai:

... only being allowed a 'clear fluids diet'.

Like gin? </font>

[Lars]

This just in from the Front!

dalem has surrendered to the tune of 77 to 23.

Does anybody know if he speaks Arabic?

Cus I’m pretty sure he speaks Hookah.

Plays like it anyway.

[Boo Radley]

Happy B-day Yeknod! For your birthday, I have fashioned a large "A" out of oats. Why? Because it's a Don-key Oat-A!

Now you can have your squire Athlatka dress up like Sancho and you can go tilt at windmills.

[ April 03, 2003, 08:53 PM: Message edited by: Boo_Radley ]

[Lars]

Originally posted by Boo_Radley:

Now you can have your squire Athlatka dress up like Sancho and you can go tilt at windmills.

Nah, Sancho was the smart one, it'll never work.

[Leeo]

Originally posted by Boo_Radley:

I just discovered that it's fun picking on the infirm.

You ARE quite the masochist, aren't you?

[Leeo]

Originally posted by Leeo:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Boo_Radley:

I just discovered that it's fun picking on the infirm.

You ARE quite the masochist, aren't you? </font>

[Noba]

Posted by the pit pony.

... and have some to spare for a stray Nobbit.

I doubt that very much. BOGGS is a very large piece of semi-sentient-simian. Gorillas in the mist ain't got nothing on this boy. Wait until we see that photo he IS sending to Persephone . (She of the nimble airbrush)

But, dear Donkey. It's your birthday. Sing us a verse or two of your birthday celebrations. Something to liven up a boring friday evening.

Noba.

[Noba]

Posted by sad, sad Joe.

As to the rest of you, mostly Australians and wannabes (if I was in Chicago I'D wannabe someplace else too I suppose), it's not that I HATE you, witness my habitual bolding of the name! I bold the name out of gratitude for the support ... of course I should also be bolding The Solomon Islands since they're coalition too. Bet the Iraqis were shaking in their boots when they heard that eh?

No, it's really that they actually, physically make me sick ... maybe it's a virus or something ... SARS ... Sudden Australian Repugance Syndrome .

Still don't know what to do about it thought and YOU clowns are a fat lot of help.

Joe

p.s. Noba ... grab a platapus by the rear leg, tease a tai-pan, poke a funnel web spider with your finger, go swimming with a great white or something equally useful ... Gawd ain't Australia just a wonderful place.

It certainly is !

Dear Joe . Your jealousy makes us feel....sorry; that you can't partake in the magnificence of what it means to Be Australian . To live in Godsown. To live in a land of rather good beers..(none of that Fosters swill either)- gorgeous women - (check 'em out Lars ) endless parties and great pubs. (Those too, Lars )

We realise your need to belittle us. But we have grown far beyong your pitfull whimperings. We no longer need to reply to your piffle in derogatory terms. You have our sympathy. It's not very big.... but hey ! You should take the path of Berli . Join us.

Noba.

ps It's PlatYpus, ya nong.

Gaylord was right....editing is fun.

[ April 04, 2003, 06:36 AM: Message edited by: Noba ]

[Boo Radley]

Originally posted by Leeo:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Leeo:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Boo_Radley:

I just discovered that it's fun picking on the infirm.

You ARE quite the masochist, aren't you? </font>

[Lars]

Originally posted by Noba:

To live in a land of rather good beers..(none of that Fosters swill either)- gorgeous women - (check 'em out Lars ) endless parties and great pubs. (Those too, Lars )

Hmm, I may have to reconsider.

I demand the UN pay my airfare to the Antipods so I can conduct..."inspections".

SSN Hint Of The Day: Pound the table.

Now sod off.

[dalem]

Originally posted by Lars:

This just in from the Front!

dalem has surrendered to the tune of 77 to 23.

Does anybody know if he speaks Arabic?

Cus I’m pretty sure he speaks Hookah.

Plays like it anyway.

dIRTY cHEATER. hE USED, LIKE, GUNS AND STUFF.

vERY UNKIND.

[Leeo]

Originally posted by Boo_Radley:

protesting the use of anything for any purpose under the sun, you fey, fetid, foggy-brained Worst Coaster?

I protest your feeble attempts at operating brain cells.

I protest the way you make dogs bark when your shade darkens their houses.

I protest the absence (absinthe?) of my dear former Liege, the Great Stuka!

I protest the hugging of trees, as they are generally rough natured and tend to leave splinters.

Speaking of foggy;

Ahem...

"It was a dark and foggy night full of clanklety things, when ALL hell <small>broke<small> loose... </small></small>"

[Boo Radley]

Originally posted by Leeo:

Speaking of foggy;

Ahem...

"It was a dark and foggy night full of clanklety things, when ALL hell <small>broke<small> loose... </small></small>"

Ah, yessss. The joys of night tank battles. I sent our fearless Justicar a similar set up, but haven't heard a peep out of him as yet. No doubt he's cowering in a corner somewhere, biting his already raggedy fingernails down to the quick, troubling deaf heaven with his bootless cries of "Why, oh why did I agree to a set up from that superior tactician Boo Radley? A fighter of such renown that lesser men run around in his shadow looking for fresh flashlight batteries! Oh woe, oh woe is me!"

Sad, really.

[Seanachai]

Alroight, then! Who's for a jolly sing-song?!

I haven't had a go at those Down Under Pouch Packers in ages, so here's a new tune, with heartfelt apologies to Eric Bogle (of whom it should be noted, Fair Emma, began his life and career in Scotland before being 'transported' to Australia)

The Gnome's Down Under Lament

Now when I was a young man I carried a brief case

And I worked nine to five in America

And the almighty dollar, is what I did chase

‘Til some friends said ‘let’s fly to Australia’

So in 2003, I told myself “Son,

It’s time to stop working, let’s travel and have fun.”

So I called up my buddies, and the deal was soon done

And we got on a flight to Australia.

And we tried to sing ‘Waltzing Matilda’

As the plane lifted from the runway

And amidst all the cheers, and a half dozen beers,

We flew off for Oz that fine day.

And I almost remember that very first day

When we poured down the beers just like water;

And of how in that bar overlooking the bay

We were led forth like lambs to the slaughter

Ah, the Aussies were waiting, and they’d primed themselves well

They showered us with bitter, and they rained us with ale

And in five hours straight, we were all drunk as hell

Nearly blew my lunch back to America.

We could almost sing ‘Waltzing Matilda’

As we staggered away down the lane

Well we slept a few hours, and took a quick shower

Then we started all over again.

In the nightmare that followed, we tried hard to survive

In that mad land of Down Under boozers

And for three sodden weeks I kept myself alive

My poor stomach and liver were the losers.

Then we woke up one day in the Melbourne drunk tank

A sad gang of hung-over and all but broke yanks

And a big Aussie guard called us piss weak dumb wanks

Never knew that I’d pray to get sober

And we finally learned ‘Waltzing Matilda’

I could sing the damn thing in my sleep

We finally made bail, and left the damn jail

And I quietly started to weep.

So we gathered our luggage, we poor drunken sots

And we headed back home to America

Some with shakes, some DTs, some with fresh VD shots

Those poor shattered fools from Australia

And as we de-planed, we were quiet and meek

Our families met us, and you could see they were freaked

We’d all aged 20 years in just a few Aussie weeks

We were stared at with horror and pity

We sang a mournful ‘Waltzing Matilda’

As we made our way out to our cars

And we shivered with fear, and our eyes filled with tears

As we hurried past each Airport bar

Now I’m back in America, with a glass in my hand

And I silently toast to the sea.

That lies between me and that beer-sodden land

From whose horror I’ll never be free.

And I flip on the news, and raise my glass higher

In hopes that Australia’s been swept clean by wildfire

The doom of Australia is now all I desire

We can start the place over with Kiwis.

And I curse all those ‘Waltzing Matilda’

in that land far away ‘cross the sea,

for their torment I pray, and that some day they’ll pay

For what those marsupial scum did to me

[Boo Radley]

And it's another sodding, soggy night in the MBT (Where the hits just keep on coming!) and no one's around. Turns have gone out, so I think I'll just raid the fridge and relax.

Several of you owe me moves, and you know who you are. If you don't, then you must be more ignorant that I ever imagined. And I would think more ignorant than is biologically possible.

But there you have it.

[Mace]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

Then we woke up one day in the Melbourne drunk tank

I've been there. It's grouse mate!

Mace

[Leeo]

Originally posted by Boo_Radley:

Several of you owe me moves, and you know who you are. If you don't, then you must be more ignorant that I ever imagined. And I would think more ignorant than is biologically possible.

But there you have it.

Do I owe you a turn?

Wait, to owe would imply a certain amount of indebtedness. I just got out of debt. So I owe you nothing. Not that I won't give you something. Let's just make it clear; that which I give you is of my own accord, and in no way implies a sense of indebtedness.

I will give you a swift kick in the arse on this foggy night filled with clanklety things, but it will be given by my own free will, not out of any perceived indebtedness.

Please make a note of it.

[imported_Hiram Sedai]

"blah blah blah, I'm Mister Burns..."