dalem Posted October 8, 2003 Share Posted October 8, 2003 Lurker has jarred my memory - I nominate Dear Croda for the guy who walks behind the Four Horseman with one of those hinged scooper thingies and a dustbin. I've always wanted to use the word 'dustbin' - it's so much neater than 'garbage can'. -dale [ October 07, 2003, 11:47 PM: Message edited by: dalem ] 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted October 8, 2003 Share Posted October 8, 2003 Originally posted by JonS: I must say I feel a bit gypped. I manged to get The Nameless One into as foaming a rage as the rest of you, and amos metioned me by name, yet all I get is a side bar in the footnote of the end of time.Much like Seanachai, you fail to achieve true mastery. While the both of you achieved worthy results, you did it while actively trying. A real master would have gotten the same results without any thought of doing it at all. I mean, look at Dorosh. Its one thing to drop a dead horse in the village well, but Dorosh makes people sick just by showing up. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Emrys Posted October 8, 2003 Share Posted October 8, 2003 Originally posted by Berlichtingen: ...Dorosh makes people sick just by showing up. Yes, that's quite a unique talent he has there, isn't it? Nicely put, BTW. Michael 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Emrys Posted October 8, 2003 Share Posted October 8, 2003 Originally posted by JonS: I must say I feel a bit gypped. I manged to get The Nameless One into as foaming a rage as the rest of you, and amos metioned me by name, yet all I get is a side bar in the footnote of the end of time.Well, you know what they say about the PBI always getting to carry the can. Or the dustbin as it may be in this case. Michael 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frunze Posted October 8, 2003 Share Posted October 8, 2003 Originally posted by Seanachai: You ask for people's hatred, you invite people to hate you. You spend long hours posting annoying gibberish confident, at least, that Grogs will hate you, and what do you get? That's exactly your problem. You want to be hated, and even say so out loud. So if, hypothetically, someone did hate you, they'd be sure not to admit it. Since that'd make you happy, and obviously your enemies, if you had any, wouldn't want to do that. True hatred is something that is attached to you accidentally. It cannot be sought. People will only hate you if you are completely indifferent about whether they hate you or not. And I oughta know. As, without setting any such goal, I seem to have become one of the more hated posters on the GF. Maybe I oughta follow your example instead, and see if Slappy will stop spamming intense yet vague hostile nonsense in "response" to my posts. Clogs up the threads y'know. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andreas Posted October 8, 2003 Share Posted October 8, 2003 Right, following a request by Yekodnathon over drinks last night, I am hereby setting out stall for my cult. I shall be known as Andreas the merciless byname: Fountain of Knowledge. First things first. Those not following my cult will be burnt at the stake once my followers have crushed the other cults. They will then enter purgatory in the form of having to run as unknown candidates in constant California recall elections, while being hit over the head with wet copies of OK Magazine. Rites There shall be rites, and they shall involve scantily clad Italian birds. Thus spoke I. Dig out a tape of that 80s favourite 'Tutti Frutti', and you will get the idea. Rites can be lead by anyone who can appreciate the presence of the aforementioned Italians. Sacrifices We start with whiney cry-babies. Once we are through our supply of them, Californian environmentalists. Sacrifices are gory and bloody. Those leading the sacrifices can have a cup of tea while the aforementioned Italians carry them out. Sacraments None of that wine and oblates malarky. A good cuppa and cakes instead. Both will be served in situ by an old lady with a push-cart who has a really annoying Brummy accent. Song and dance No songs (especially not the Canadian anthem), dance only by the aforementioned Italians. Shaking of various bodyparts encouraged. Inquisition I understand that Ethan is already reading up on 'The use of fingernails in extracting useful information'. Book of my cult There could be a number of them (if anyone knows a publisher who does a good deal, call me). They will be known as 'The books of Grogporn' and feature leather-clad SS men with chafing cow-hide thongs, reaming gun barrels very hard, on the cover. So, where's the catch There is none. Follow my cult or I smite you. If you don't want to follow it, you can follow other cults, or make up your own, worshipping breakfast in bed, as far as I am concerned. But don't be surprised if that lightning hits you coming from my seat. That is all. Followers sign up below. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted October 8, 2003 Share Posted October 8, 2003 Tea? As a reward? Now THAT is just cruel! maybe [censored] was right about you all along 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dschugaschwili Posted October 8, 2003 Share Posted October 8, 2003 Andreas, why should I follow someone who has a higher member number than I do? Dschugaschwili 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andreas Posted October 8, 2003 Share Posted October 8, 2003 Membernumbers, are nothing. But you are obviously too dimwitted to be my follower. I suggest you try Emrys' cult. I heard they take on anybody there. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Other Means Posted October 8, 2003 Share Posted October 8, 2003 ...yeah that sounds ok. but i was really looking for something more in the animal mutilation line. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andreas Posted October 8, 2003 Share Posted October 8, 2003 Originally posted by Other Means: ...yeah that sounds ok. but i was really looking for something more in the animal mutilation line. Californian environmentalists not good enough for you? I was thinking about branching out into ritual seal-clubbing at a later stage. Would that be enough of a draw you think? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
REVS Posted October 8, 2003 Share Posted October 8, 2003 Oi! Gaylord Amos is back, he's just started another thread in the General Forum, so I presume the famed pestilential quartet of the apocalypse, when exposed to the cruel light of day, are found to be no more than the low-paid mop-up crew of the party from hell. Berli on **** can duty Dorosh on gutter sweep Emrys on overflow control Andreas on stomach wounds. Situation normal. Return to your posts. Seanachai over-reacts once more and returns to duty as latrine test-pilot, head-first division. Thank goodness for his brush-like head! [ October 08, 2003, 07:58 AM: Message edited by: REVS ] 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nidan1 Posted October 8, 2003 Share Posted October 8, 2003 Originally posted by Andreas: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Other Means: ...yeah that sounds ok. but i was really looking for something more in the animal mutilation line. Californian environmentalists not good enough for you? I was thinking about branching out into ritual seal-clubbing at a later stage. Would that be enough of a draw you think? </font> 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Other Means Posted October 8, 2003 Share Posted October 8, 2003 Billy-basher-of-the-unbelievers hand puppets. i love it. also, it's a draw for the kids isn't it? get them away from their "playstations" and up to their elbows in gore. thats what's wrong with this (or any) country today. we need a back to basics, kill your own breakfast, smite the unbeliever, convert people with a pointed stick policy. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted October 8, 2003 Share Posted October 8, 2003 I'm sorry, but I just can't get excited about a cult unless they plan on using some kind of ostentaneous head gear. I want to see huge, unwieldy, top-heavy chapeaus of some kind. The more over-accesorized the better. The kind of thing that would be considered over-the-top and in poor taste at Mardi Gras. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lars Posted October 8, 2003 Share Posted October 8, 2003 Originally posted by Andreas: But don't be surprised if that lightning hits you coming from my seat.That's some really bad gas you got there. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted October 8, 2003 Share Posted October 8, 2003 Originally posted by Boo Radley: I'm sorry, but I just can't get excited about a cult unless they plan on using some kind of ostentaneous head gear. I want to see huge, unwieldy, top-heavy chapeaus of some kind. The more over-accesorized the better. The kind of thing that would be considered over-the-top and in poor taste at Mardi Gras. Lemme guess, you believe that in a former life you were Murat? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jack Carr Posted October 8, 2003 Share Posted October 8, 2003 Andreas posted: Hmm, that sounds interesting Jack. Say, how would you like to be my representative P-P amongst mortals (Peeon-Pope)? Right, following a request by Yekodnathon over drinks last night, I am hereby setting out stall for my cult. I shall be known as Andreas the merciless byname: Fountain of Knowledge.I'll pass on the Pee-on Pope title. How about: Jack Carr - Bishop of Battlefront (Horns blowing in the background)? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalem Posted October 8, 2003 Share Posted October 8, 2003 Originally posted by Boo Radley: I'm sorry, but I just can't get excited about a cult unless they plan on using some kind of ostentaneous head gear. I want to see huge, unwieldy, top-heavy chapeaus of some kind. The more over-accesorized the better. The kind of thing that would be considered over-the-top and in poor taste at Mardi Gras. I like the top hat-with-feather look myself. You know, like that sported by the locals in that movie about Harvey Keitel's johnson? The one with the piano in it. Truth be told the Cult of Andreas sounds just about perfect, except for the tea stuff. Maybe I'll make the government change it for me. -dale 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andreas Posted October 8, 2003 Share Posted October 8, 2003 Dalem, Jack Carr, and Other Means are now my official prophets. Dalem receives a dispensation, and may drink coffee instead of tea. English coffee. He also may wear a feathered hat while sacrificing. Jack Carr shall be known as 'Bishop of the General Forum'. His first task is to bring order to that unruly place that still does not acknowledge the momentous portents from the CMBB forums. Other means shall be known as 'Chiefclubber Incarnate'. He may carry the holy 'E' on procession. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted October 8, 2003 Share Posted October 8, 2003 Originally posted by Berlichtingen: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Boo Radley: I'm sorry, but I just can't get excited about a cult unless they plan on using some kind of ostentaneous head gear. I want to see huge, unwieldy, top-heavy chapeaus of some kind. The more over-accesorized the better. The kind of thing that would be considered over-the-top and in poor taste at Mardi Gras. Lemme guess, you believe that in a former life you were Murat? </font> 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joachim Posted October 8, 2003 Share Posted October 8, 2003 Originally posted by Andreas: Dalem, Jack Carr, and Other Means are now my official prophets. Dalem receives a dispensation, and may drink coffee instead of tea. English coffee. Gods are not always lenient on their prophets. They offer heavy burdens and tough ordeals on the way to to the true faith. Show mercy! At least offer him too choose any tea he likes! Guess soon you'll start a new plague of biblical dimensions, letting a fifth column of riders pour English coffee onto the realms of the unfaithful. I see it is already raining - but I don't dare taste it. Gruß Joachim [ October 08, 2003, 11:38 AM: Message edited by: Scarhead ] 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dalem Posted October 8, 2003 Share Posted October 8, 2003 Originally posted by Scarhead: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Andreas: Dalem, Jack Carr, and Other Means are now my official prophets. Dalem receives a dispensation, and may drink coffee instead of tea. English coffee. Gods are not always lenient on their prophets. They offer heavy burdens and tough ordeals on the way to to the true faith. Show mercy! At least offer him too choose any tea he likes! Guess soon you'll start a new plague of biblical dimensions, letting a fifth column of riders pour English coffee onto the realms of the unfaithful. I see it is already raining - but I don't dare taste it. Gruß Joachim </font> 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Other Means Posted October 8, 2003 Share Posted October 8, 2003 i already feel filled with the spirit. hallelujah. speaking in tongues & wild gesticulation sure to follow. i must admit though, Boo's got a point about the hat (under?). if you're a prophet you've got to have a hat. and do i have to actually prophisise? works a bit tight & i've got turns to send. could i just live a life in the style of Andreas? i'm not exactly sure what that would be mind. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted October 8, 2003 Share Posted October 8, 2003 Originally posted by Andreas: Dalem, Jack Carr, and Other Means are now my official prophets.Send them forth to kill. Oh, and hurry up with your holy war against Dorosh. I love a good holy war. Neither side ever wins, but I always do 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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