Appear Neither Void Nor Empty In the Sight or Presence of the Peng Challenge

[MrSpkr]

Has it come to this, Joe? Taking advice from PL? At long last, Joe, has it come to this?

How the mighty have fallen.

Steve

[Speedy]

Originally posted by Elijah Meeks:

I hereby declare you Earl, not baron or duke or even prince. As Earl, your posts are to be prophetic, pathetic and peripatetic, primarily predisposed toward punishing the producers of pap who haunt this board even now. We must abolish this SSN term, as it reminds me of nukular submarines every time I read it, so invent something menacing and nasty but easily spelled and remembered so that we can refer to these morons properly. I prefer John. If we call them Johns, it makes them sound like a bunch of paunchy, pasty prancers in search of prostitution. That's merely a suggestion from your king, invested as he is with the wisdom of divinity, whose grace doth flow like the Nile at sunset.

Oh most terrifying Majesty, your omnipotent words are far to powerful to be borne by such insignificant wretches as those formerly known as SSN's.

Therefore after much thought I have decided that from this day forth SSNs shall be known as Fluffy.

Earl Speedy

[Hamstersss]

Fluffy... I like it. Oh yea, I like it mightily.

Do you have a usage guide? Is it gender neutral or could there be fluffettes? Would two be Fluffies or fluffites or just fluffy?

And you're not Earl Speedy, just Earl.

Notice how Joe Shaw has disappeared in shame, I tell you, what kind of Justicar is that? If he does not respond soon, then he will have defaulted on his duties, and dutied on his defaults.

Back to the painful hardships of rule.

[Speedy]

Fluffy is gender neutral and the plural is Fluffites Your Majesty.

Earl

[Joe Shaw]

I have a question ... since when has this issue come to be about ME? I have NEVER advocated the formation of another MBT, as has Meeks (not bolded, you know the drill), I have been here day in and day out for years now, as Meeks (not bolded) has NOT, I have upheld the traditions of the MBT without favoritism or reward while Meeks (nb) has been out doing ... something else.

And yet it is I who am attacked and pilloried and forced to conduct some form of combat TO RETAIN THAT WHICH IS ALREADY MINE!

And by whom? By Meeks (nb), by the one about whom the kindest words were "Get The Brick". By Fiat (or perhaps Renault, hard to keep track) Berli and Seanachai have dropped this perversion upon us and YOU SIT AROUND LIKE DOCILE SHEEP (easy Mace) AND TAKE IT.

Well not I. I shall rage against the coming of the Knight. I shall fight until there is no breath in my body. I AM FOR THE CESSPOOL! I STAND FOR THE MBT! I DEFEND THE PENG CHALLENGE THREAD!

Who stands with me? Perhaps no one ... but if I must be the lone voice in the wilderness crying out against oppression then so be it. If I must march against machine guns armed only with a pitchfork then I shall.

But not in some combat mandated by he who should, by rights, be allowed to return only as a Serf. What penance has he performed? What apology have we heard? What indication have we that HE WILL NOT FURTHER TRANSGRESS?

No, I don't call for his execution. Others may choose that path but not I. I say that with proper respect for the CessPool and appropriate acts of contrition that Meeks (nb) can be readmitted to our ranks. But as King? It is to laugh.

I may fall in battle, it is true, but it will a battle of MY chosing, not his. I may suffer wounds in combat, yes, but not at HIS hands ... I play, you see, with those whom I hold in some degree of regard.

Joe

p.s. Untrained use of the Mormon Wife Photo can lead to delusions of grandeur ... as if things weren't bad enough all ready.

[Malakovski]

Originally posted by Elijah Meeks:

Notice how Joe Shaw has disappeared in shame, I tell you, what kind of Justicar is that? If he does not respond soon, then he will have defaulted on his duties, and dutied on his defaults.

I smell a coward...yes, just like that skulker Lars. I've challenged that spineless jelly three times and not so much as a peep, much less a setup.

But, should Joe's backbone stiffen like his hauberk after he has soiled it and the links fuse with rust, I promise for the entertainment and edification of all, to provide a daily, turn-by-turn AAR, with pictures detailing every moment of the Justicar defeat and humiliation.

[ January 17, 2003, 11:00 PM: Message edited by: Malakovski ]

[Joe Shaw]

For the record, and for the edification of those too young to remember ...

The Apostasy

And now ... he will be King will he? Of the shame of it all.

Joe

[Hamstersss]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

[QB]Blather soaked in gall. Gall blather, in fact.[QB]

Oh, what's this, how many hands is that horse of yours, you pitchfork waving buffoon? Who mans the machineguns but the thread itself? Who stamps the shell casings but everything you hold sacred? Who's dainty fingers pack powder but those of the Pool's own women? What numskull robs graves for used medical equipment and melts it down for the slugs but the opinion of those that came before us?

The Pool is a living, breathing thing, it sensed its illness, sensed that, long ago, and knew that only my careful ministrations could bring it back. Look ye, to the spate of recent postings, and tremble! for they are good and they spring from mine own loins!!! Fool, charlaten, hanger-on to the old ways, haven't you seen the blossoms of late, the disappearance of the whinging, namby-pamby, old Pool! Why even Y2K has the martial spirit!!!

[Stalin's Organ]

He may be king to a few easily led fools.......but the rest of the world shall for ever know him as The Hamster that Burned

[ January 17, 2003, 11:09 PM: Message edited by: Stalin's Organ ]

[OGSF]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

Who stands with me?

Ah'll stand wi' ye Joe!

Ah'll noo plaidge mah sword tae thas yappin' toy dog o' a phlegm challainged gnome! Ah sae tha poxy wee poot sniffin' SSNs' hae scampered tae haes litter box, along wi' "Earl", tha callow suckling. Let tha troo Kaaannigets o' tha MBT (an' at waill allas bae there) rally tae tha smeared an' tattered standard o' tha CessPool, an' kick tha teeth ain o' any slinkin' bastarrrd tha tries tae uphold tha feckless Usurper!!

Bonnie Mark IV fer King!

[MrSpkr]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

For the record, and for the edification of those too young to remember ...

The Apostasy

And now ... he will be King will he? Of the shame of it all.

Joe

A close reading of that thread indicates that HRH Meeks accepted a challeng to joust Seanachai on the field of honor for mastery of the Muthah Beautiful. Unfortunately, the local constabulary arrived and halted the match before it could begin. Therefore, the question of apostasy was never actually addressed on the field of honor.

As Inquisitor General, I note with interest that this issue remains before us. Granted, at the rate Seanachai returns files, it could be before us for a very long time, but still . . . the issue is unresolved.

I call for Joust to decide the once and future king.

Steve

[Seanachai]

A dark sky filled with endless stars stretches over a featureless wasteland, pocked by boulders and scrubby bushes. At the center a fire blazes, and three figures surround it, sitting on logs.

One is a stern and judgemental figure, arms crossed, and coughing quietly to itself with an odd curse or two. Another is a figure of dark majesty, wreathed in flames and billowing smoke. The final one is a white-haired old man, ill-dressed in tatty robes, who’s quietly singing "oh, you new york girls, can you do the polka?" to himself.

Peng: (staring off into the distance, where there is a great deal of noise, light, and confusion) Well done, Seanachai, you fool. Look at that mess! You didn’t even get to the second step of the coronation ritual, let alone anything like the actual crowning.

Seanachai: True enough, Peng fella. Ran out of beer. Took forever trying to come up with the ‘regal regalia’ as it were. Got it right here (pokes the darkness behind him). That damn shirt from the Outer Board lad moves around all by itself from the vermin, and these pants from the Kiwi don’t half niff.

Peng: Well, what next?

Seanachai: Damned if I know. Look at ‘em! Oh, look, Shaw’s leading a revolt!

Peng: Hmm. Think he’ll get anywhere?

Seanachai: Hard to say. I guess it will depend on how the Knights stand, with one side or the other.

Peng: It’s going to be tough. I see Meeks still has his ability to mesmerize and befuddle the minds of others.

Seanachai: Yes. As strong as ever. Some of it’s quite good, actually.

Peng: But see how everything slides into chaos, conflict, and ruin. They’ll be building barricades in the hallways of Schloss Peng, next.

Seanachai: It does seem to be getting a bit out of hand, at that. And we never did finish the coronation service. I wonder if we should intervene?

Peng: Or if we even can, at this point. What says Berli?

Seanachai: Yes, he’s been a bit quiet, hasn’t he? This was his idea, after all.

Peng: Hear me, Berli! Chaos runs rampant in the Thread of threads! Knight turns against Knight; Squire rises against Knight, and over all washes the red rage of wrath! What should be done?

Seanachai: Hear me, oh Dark Spirit of Discord! The Peng Challenge Thread is aboil with conflict! Meeks, even before his official crowning, runs mad, and upsets the old order! The Justicar is besieged, and the Rules cast down! Some call for regicide, while others chant paeans to the New Order! What should we do?

And the dark figure, flames bright, looks out from the Wasteland, toward the bright confusion of the Mother Beautiful Thread

And

The

Dark

Figure

SMILES

[Berlichtingen]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

Oh yes, Berli and Seanachai have, for their own nefarious purposes (I've no proof mind you but do any of us REALLY doubt that liquour was involved) PROPOSED him as King. But it's not been ratified nor even agreed to by we who would be ruled. Now doubtless one or the other will claim all sorts of endless rights and privileges as Olde Ones and I would point out that NO ONE has been more respectful of their place of right than I, BUT, while this may not be a democracy ... without the consent of the ruled there can be no ruler.

The King rules by divine right. Given that Peng Seanachai and I are the only divinity any of you will ever meet, it is our right to raise him up

[Stalin's Organ]

Originally posted by Berlichtingen:

Given that Peng Seanachai and I are the only divinity any of you will ever meet, it is our right to raise him up

Divinity?

An unholy trio if ever there was one, but I say the only divining going on with you three is the presumption you take - being silly old tossers makes you about a celestial as a bag of waste left in orbit by an Apollo mission.

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by Stalin's Organ:

An unholy trio if ever there was one, but I say the only divining going on with you three is the presumption you take - being silly old tossers makes you about a celestial as a bag of waste left in orbit by an Apollo mission.

Strong words from a man whose trousers I've got over here by the fire, attempting to smoke the smell of stale fear and sweat from them.

[Slangton]

Sounds like you people need a drink.

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by Slangton:

Sounds like you people need a drink.

Sounds like you don't know what a real drink is, and wouldn't survive knocking back a glass with people who'd quote, sing, and toast with every glass.

Pillock.

[Slangton]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Slangton:

Sounds like you people need a drink.

Sounds like you don't know what a real drink is, and wouldn't survive knocking back a glass with people who'd quote, sing, and toast with every glass.

Pillock.</font>

[Mace]

Originally posted by Slangton:

Sounds like you people need a drink.

<font size = 1> ..."and then she said, how did you do"... Oh excuse me a minute guys, I'll be right back. Someone at the door. </font>

<font size = 7> *GRUNT* </font>

Mace smells prey!

*drags knuckles along ground*

Mace will smash fluffy SSN, unless fluffy SSN looks like little fluffy sheep, then Mace will hug and squeeze and then squeeze and hug fluffy SSN.

oh you don't look like a fluffy little sheep!

Ok then, <font size = 7> SOD ORF!!!<font>

Mace

[Slangton]

Hey, does your font want a treat? Or does it always drool like that?

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by Slangton:

oooooohhhhhh....Well shiver me timbers...

That's it? That's the best you can do?

I despair of the coming generations.

Nothing witty occurs to you?

Sod off.

I've always been for Democracy, but the best thing to do when confronted with shameful Idiocy is to avert your eyes before pissing on it.

[Seanachai]

Jesus Christ, Mace, turn down the 'Enforcer' level!

Very well done. Made me want to run the other direction for a moment.

[Stalin's Organ]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

Strong words from a man whose trousers I've got over here by the fire, attempting to smoke the smell of stale fear and sweat from them.

Oh?

WEll if you hadn't worn them then you wouldn't have to do that!

You really should hurry up and pass them onto his Itchiness - he looks damned silly with no pants and I believe in sharing the good things of lice.

[Slangton]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Slangton:

oooooohhhhhh....Well shiver me timbers...

That's it? That's the best you can do?

I despair of the coming generations.

Nothing witty occurs to you?

Sod off.

I've always been for Democracy, but the best thing to do when confronted with shameful Idiocy is to avert your eyes before pissing on it.</font>

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by Slangton:

I'm sure our definitions of wit differ greatly. It's almost laughable really...

Would be, if you could actually come up with one, and then manifest it.

All the Thread's before you, and you can work upon it like an artist with a blank canvas, and the best light of all the day.

And what will we see from you, eh? Half a line sentences that say nothing, amuse no one, and leave us with the understanding that you've simply nothing to say. Certainly nothing amusing.

Prove me wrong. I'd like nothing better, frankly.

Take a deep breath, and muster all your powers, and post something here that you think is truly witty, and amusing, and interesting.

We can be a patient Thread.

Or, at the very least, define 'wit' for me.

I'd really like to know. But until I see something that makes me say 'yes', your pretensions to wit are just that.

Now is your time. Humiliate me. Cast up such a post of wit and humour that all will applaud, and I will kneel at your feet, and you shall put your foot upon my neck.

Go for it, seriously. There are any number of people on this Forum, and even in this Thread, that would delight in seeing me have to acknowledge that I was wrong about your wittiness.