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Recently, somewhere in Finland


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Not that anyone cares, since it is Finland, but whether anyone cares or not has not stopped me before.

So, Sergei has given in to temptation, and rubbing assorted pine-cone shaped (that's what they told him) talismans, he is back in battle with me. This time, he tries to make as much of his ability to grunt in the same tone and rythm as the Finnish soldiers in the game, by using them.

But already, things are going reindeer-arse-shaped for him (they don't have pears in Finland). As this picture clearly shows...

sergei.JPG

Here you can see a dashing assault team of defenders of the Rodina hiding heroically in a crater halfway between a forest and a reverse slope position. They have, just by themselves, contested numerous flags, and set fire to blockhouses full of adventurist Finnish occupant/invaders of the holy soil of the Rodina.

I can already see Sergei quivering in his earthhole, in front of his Ericsson game console.

Soon, the victory so rightfully belonging to the working class in the ceaseless struggle against adventurist bourgeois capitalist monkey invaders of the home of the once suppressed but now loved by Stalin peasants and workers will be mine.

You may shake in your jackboots, capitalist Finnish Ericsson wielding thug.

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Oh, don't spoil it, just because you don't get it. I was trying to be subtle. Ericsson was a Swedish company. What do you think why I did not write Nokia?

Yes okay, it is not very funny, but I have a bad flu, a headache, am bored at home, and am a humourless German, so this is the best you are gonna get. Now get back on your high Ren and waddle off into the Tundra.

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Hell, yeah. Andreas liberated an unoccupied bomb crater - blow the trumpets! Bring out the 722 virgins that are to be sacrificed according to the post-war Germanic rituals!

I shouldn't spoil all the fun for you, Andreas, but that pit is not the corner stone of Finnish national defense.

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Originally posted by Sergei:

Hell, yeah. Andreas liberated an unoccupied bomb crater - blow the trumpets! Bring out the 722 virgins that are to be sacrificed according to the post-war Germanic rituals!

No, we don't have these rites over here. Guess because it is plain impossible to find some virgins over here as our men do neither need to get drunk before they dare talk to a girl nor drink afterwards when they are able to see the girl. This kind of behaviour is reportedly found in Finland.

Gruß

Joachim

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Originally posted by Andreas:

Yes okay, it is not very funny, but I have a bad flu, a headache, am bored at home, and am a humourless German, so this is the best you are gonna get.

Don't be a cry baby! Some sissy little runny nose isn't a valid excuse to fail miserably in offending the Finnish folk.

Stand up and figure a better insult, you soggy sauerkraut! :mad:

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Originally posted by Crank_GS:

This. THIS! is the essence of playing live opponents from the Forum! Where one can taunt one's "enemies"!

Thanks for the Monday morning laugh. Well, it's Monday for me, anyway. :(

Hey, you can even taunt your enemies enemies. And what is even better - you can do it in public.

Gruß

Joachim

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Just to show those uppity Finnish white counterrevolutionary adventurist invader bourgeois degenerated running-dog lick-spittle lackeys of worker suppressing fascist capitalist factory owners who really is boss (the working man, if there was any doubt), Front command has issued me with 'The All-Seeing Eye', and sure enough we found this, and the first round from a ***** gun managed to convince the occupants that resistance is futile, and they should come with me, if they want to live.

boom.JPG

The Finnish defense department had this to say (and I quote):

How that happened is beyond me. The bunker wasn't even moving.
Thank you for your attention. You may now go back to overfulfil your quotas.
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Originally posted by Andreas:

Thank you for your attention. You may now go back to overfulfil your quotas.

Get your workers to do some work on other battlefields. While my relentless attack now covered more than 600m towards the enemy and even my guns are pushed (!) forward towards your cowards, those cowards did not fire a single shot and are still hiding in their holes.

Gruß

Joachim

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Originally posted by Joachim:

my guns are pushed (!) forward towards your glorious soldiers

Thank you for this post, soon to be Comrade Joachim of the Seydlitz Army.

Your post clearly shows the adventurist nature of your doomed to fail Blitzkrieg concept. Clearly, if your effing Wehrmacht rocks so bad, how come it does not have trucks? Eh?

Here in the socialist workers' paradise, soldiers drive to work, and after killing their quota of adventurist fascist invader occupants, they drive home. On trucks. That is what socialism does for us.

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Originally posted by Andreas:

</font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Joachim:

my guns are pushed (!) forward towards your glorious soldiers

Thank you for this post, soon to be Comrade Joachim of the Seydlitz Army.

Your post clearly shows the adventurist nature of your doomed to fail Blitzkrieg concept. Clearly, if your effing Wehrmacht rocks so bad, how come it does not have trucks? Eh?

Here in the socialist workers' paradise, soldiers drive to work, and after killing their quota of adventurist fascist invader occupants, they drive home. On trucks. That is what socialism does for us. </font>

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Originally posted by Michael Emrys:

Okay, I'll cop to it, I'm confuzzled. If Andreas is playing against Sergei, who is Joachim playing against?

I blame it all on Seanachai.

Michael

On what?

Maybe this quote from above will help you a bit...

Get your workers to do some work on other battlefields.
I asked Andreas to actually do something in another battle, where we have only 111 turns left and he did not fire a single shot yet. If his troops are half as good as he claims, they should start wasting some ammo and not hide in their holes like the cowards they are.

It would be very unsporting to only taunt my enemy's enemy and not taunt my enemy's enemy's enemy.

Oh, I forgot - it was you who always tries to avoid being fair, wasn't it? So you might not understand the concept due to missing practice.

Gruß

Joachim

[ January 09, 2004, 12:25 PM: Message edited by: Joachim ]

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Originally posted by Andreas:

The cause of the revolution brooks no rest. STAVKA has therefore authorised me to smite two fascist invader occupant bootlickers of Rockefeller at the same time.

IOW - Joachim is also playing me.

Have you fulfilled your quote comrade?

Now it is up to me to be a bit "confuzzled". You are losing big to me. Then you are authorised to "smite two fascist invader occupant bootlickers of Rockefeller at the same time.". WTF is the third guy you are playing?

Gruß

Joachim

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Hah! Andreas is going down like a Swedish jet fighter! After several turns of continuous artillery bombardment and dreadful gunfire he has now put up one smoke cloud between our forces in a desperate but futile attempt to cover the total collapse of his front. "Da svidaniya, Finland", I could hear someone shouting from the forest as they ran away, "we have some pressing business in, eh, umm... Manchuria, that's right. Don't expect us to return before 1972."

WTF!!! I wanted a fair fight, and he flees like only a faceless coward like Andreas could! Stand up and fight! Stay still and take my blows like a man that your parents for a moment thought you might become! :mad: Damn, and I had a bullet with Andreas' name on it ready. Maybe if I sent it to Soviet embassy in Stockholm, they could deliver it to the NKVD officer responsible with him?

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  • 4 weeks later...

Lies, oh well, I guess I'm talking to the real Pro here. Probably your real employer is MI6. As to the latest developments, Andreas just congratulated his avantgarde in the true socialist realistic style: by dropping a load of 9000mm rockets on them. For a moment the bemused Russian peasants shouted "da-da!", then it changed to "mama!" and "njet-njet!". Or that was my impression, anyhow.

Meanwhile the situation has changed. I don't think the scenario lasts long enough so that I could push Andreas and his rubbish back to the sea (Pacific, pref.). Driving them to Asia will have to do. Poor Asians.

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