Go tell the Outerboards, Stranger,That Here Obedient to Their Laws We Challenged Peng

[Marlow]

This posted in the OuterBoards:

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by He Who Shall Not Be Named:

You have all the charm of a stalker. Anyone ever tell you that?

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Oh the irony.

[ 05-31-2001: Message edited by: Marlow ]

[Panzer Leader]

Thanks for the quoted quip. I have been pointedly ignoring that thread since I have little to no interest in which shells were used where.

Not reading the link, my guess would be that the line was directed by Mr. Joe Shaw towards Mr. David Aitkin. This reasoning is based on the fact that it was a mildly humourous, yet uninspired jab, but that it was a completely accurate description of Aitkin.

Ha ha, Aitkin vs. Shaw that would be a rich cat-fight to watch, for sure.

[Panzer Leader]

Troll alert:

Destroy the Humanoid.

He dares bring the Mutha Beautiful into question.

[Berlichtingen]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Marlow:

This posted in the OuterBoards:

Oh the irony.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Losername calling the kettle black

[Phillies Phan]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Panzer Leader:

Troll alert:

Destroy the Humanoid.

He dares bring the Mutha Beautiful into question.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

You're being overly Clitoral about it. The thread in question is about something other than the Peng thread. Take some ritalin.

[MrSpkr]

Random thoughts I had

while reading from the Cesspool

instead of working.

I hear mensch whining

his words rare pearls of wisdom

the Cess will ignore.

Speedbump may demand

a chance to avenge himself

he will fail again.

Phillies accepted

now I shall have my one chance

to score a hundred.

Stuka said he had

Lee-oh's leash in his tight hands

he is perverted.

Iskander and I

play a frozen scene from Hell

Berli helped make.

Seanachai my liege

your diatribes ramble on

putting me to sleep.

Joe Shaw likes okra

but by all other measures

he is a wanker.

I wish all newbies

would read some closed Cess threads

they might catch a clue.

One final request

to all who would post herein

more class, less crass please.

[mensch]

Well it appears as much as I expected the following people could manage a "belch" of a responce to my comments, some even managed more then 25 word; well brovo I think you have now the standing just below pond grime.

I think with those who see my point, see a fact and that most of the "moronic flat headed bunny poppers" that comment here have about the same wit and charm of soil, and that is insulting soil.

as for the last of the heavy hitters in this pool, they have not manage to pop in yet and write up at least four complete sentince structures insulting me or at least try to sedate me with thier spewing rancid words. As for the one liners, I guess I should have not expected less, it would appear the attention span of such mold life forms cannot exceed more then four vowels or a synonym.

well I realize I expected to much of a responce. well as some of my old cess buds said "we told you it wouldn't work, thats why we gave up. welcome to the club".

So I guess this leaves you fast food writers more space to use up with your 20 words or less comments.

+++ serious mode on +++

I honestly expected a witty but charming counter responce, how wrong I was. My god people not even descry or jab at my spelling or poor grammer. walks away disenchanted.

P.S. thanks stevetherat, even though you may have been trying to be ironic.

+++ serious mode off +++

[David Aitken]

Having spent the past few pages skimming over the playground tit-for-tat slanging match between Stalin's Organ and Leeo, I fully agree with mensch. There remain in the Peng Thread a few people who are capable of constructing a real tongue-in-cheek taunt instead of some mindless name-calling, but without any real degree of commitment on the part of a sufficient number of such people, no-one really feels inclined to bother trying. A couple of days ago I was looking over the original Peng Thread, and almost every post was extensive, well conceived and highly enjoyable to read. Now there is sometimes something worth reading every few pages, but it's usually only a pale shadow of our former glory. As far as I am concerned, the Peng Thread has become all that its critics claim, a pointless playground brawl which is not of sufficient quality or ingenuity to merit its place on the CM forum.

Of course, I myself enjoy speaking my mind here at 3 AM, but I could do the same anywhere – what I have to say does not really belong here.

[ 05-31-2001: Message edited by: David Aitken ]

[Panzer Leader]

There once was a boy from Waxahatchie

Who always wanted to fly an Apache

But he took a wife

And a life of Strife

And now spend his time a'golfing

When he isn't alcoholically barfing

Watching episodes of Itchy and Scratchy

This boy finally got a job

From his "friend" who we'll call Rob

He says he's a legal Professional

But actually he runs a theatre's concessional

And the legality he professes

Comes from when he undresses

His friend "Rob" to get to his Nob

This boy finally got some gray hair

From his kids: Mary, Tommy, Jimmy and Cher

He grew to old to to play football

But he keeps his Texas Drawl

And he goes to the Mall

And on Saturdays, not Longhorns, nor A&M boomers

But traitorously sits back and watches the Sooners

[MrSpkr]

[serious]

I understand what you are saying mensch. I have been investing a lot of time in looking at the older threads lately, and while my posts have generally been the epitome of what you are complaining about, I do think the thread as a whole has lost something and am trying to put a bit more thought into my posts (hence my haikus from this morning).

I found a good quote by PeterNZ from about six months ago that seems to sum it up nicely:

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>New thread and it's turning into a pile of crap.

Folks, if you're not going to post paragraphs of vitriol about GAMES you're PLAYING then, seriously, sodd off!

Growing 120 posts in 24 hours is just a waste of everyone's time. 9/10ths of the post are just festive bouts of mutual masturbation, "oo you suck" "oo no you do!". This is a pool not a cookie to be made soggy with your penile excretions!

Please, stop posting your drivel! I feel like i'm wadding through millions of babies given extra-drool formulation and it's getting my boots messy.

This is a GAME CHALLENGE THREAD! Either play games or sodd the hell off!

If the thread keeps going like this many people will just stop reading it and we'll have lost the most interesting bit of net space yet discovered by man.

I don't care what country you come from

I don't care about sheep or not sheep

I don't care about the us elections

I don't care about you job, your religion, what colour dildo you shoved up your butt this morning, I CARE ABOUT KICKING FOLKS AT CM!

Now Get back in LINE

AS for games.

I'm loosing none. Which is a good thing. And Andreas, technically speaking I'm NOT loosing Kammersheidt, look at the score, nyaa.

PeterNZ<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I think part of the problem is the number of CM'ers has simply exploded in the last several months; ergo, more people on the bulletin board and more casual players who are bored silly by the grogs deciding to stop in and "see what that Peng thingy is anyway."

What to do about it? I dunno. I think the strategy with Rommel22 on the last thread worked fairly well. Just ignore newbies who can't seem to grasp the rules. If you don't comment about them or address them in any way until they begin playing by the rules, then the annoying ones who are dragging the thread down (like Thermopile and Uncle Joe's Johnson) will either (a) catch a clue and post witty thoughts that are fun to read; or ( will get bored rather quickly and leave. Either way, problem solved.

We are having the same troubles you described and StevetheRat confirmed here in north Texas. There are so darn many yuppies and other scum swarming into the area, that old values and traditions are being lost because the yuppie scum who moved here in part for those traditions are too stupid to figure out how to honor and respect and participate in them. Fortunately, in the Pool we can opt to ignore such newcomers; I only wish we had that ability in Real Life™.

David Aitken:

I agree with your analysis of the old Peng threads. A lot more thought went into them. However, I don't think the current thread is beyond salvage. I hope you don't either.

I mean, look, even Pansyleader is giving it a go with his extended limerick (at least he didn't start with anything involving Nantuckett).[/serious]

[ 05-31-2001: Message edited by: MrSpkr ]

[Panzer Leader]

Seriously folks,

I think that a lot of "the old school" has really declined in the recent past. Myself, Mrspkr and even Speedbump try hard to maintain the depth of humour and insight with which this thread is renowned, but there is a certain absence among the officer corps.

Look at this thread and the last. How many knights have posted. Even my own Sponsor has been lacking for nearly 3 incarnations (thogh he IS French, which says alot). The knights need to set tha standard and us squires will do our best to try and meet them.

I do not want to see this hilarious and fun tradition destroyed. Let us work together to bring the slime of the cess to its usual colorful funk. With the Peng Challenge, as I am sure you knights know, we have an opportunity to be our assinine selves in a public place, and much like those trips to Amsterdam prove opportunity shouldn't be wasted!

Let this be the dawn of a new golden era of Peng! Roll call please! Let all the knights stand up and take a bow for their wonderful works, followed by curtsey from all their squires!

[jdmorse]

Ahh I see our pool angst has re-occurred.

Happens from time to time..... Some perspective is always needed. Unfortunetly our little playground is a bit public and we are always going to attract drive bys and lookey loos, best advice, ignore them. Hard to do granted but necessary. Sometimes, length of service works against you. I have been around since the second post to the original thread, sometimes more active, sometimes less. After a while it can be hard to crank it up. Sometimes, esp late at night when CM time rolls around, one just can't care a whit about being clever.

It is, it occurs to me kind of like a marrriage, sometimes the passion and involvement lessen, but like a good marriage that can also grow into being with others of a like mind and be comfortable. Also, to carry this analogy to even more ridiculous lengths, the new folks who come in and stick are making their version of the vision of the thread. We had our day and like parents at a play ground can take pride in the antics of you "youngsters"

It's important to note that some of the "elders" who don't post often or at all are not posting on the Outerboards either. I have noticed that those of us who have been playing (almost steadily) since the beta days have cut back, sort of like coming up for air. After all Real Life™ does occasionally demand obeisance.

So play amonest yourselves, the world of Peng™ is a brave new world if you want it. Oh, we won't go away, where else can we dwell, the OuterBorads? *shudder* And no doubt we will occasionally lash out in a manical killing rage and full of venom and bile, or at least sputum.

Now run along and let me dream of younger days (now where's that glass with my teeth in it?)

[Geier]

I've never been any good at writing fun stuff, not compared to several of the old crew and not compared to most kinds of navel lint either. I've mainly strived for that stream of unconsciousness type of posts, Philip K Dick without the talent if you will (and if you haven't read "A scanner darkly" I really think you should.) or the gloating incoherent kind which mainly lets everyone know that I've beaten someone again.

This is that kind of post.

Everyone here (I'm only thinking of people who I for some reason think mattter, the rest of you can sod off since I can't even be bothered to dislike you) has seen Berlis luverly li'l City Map have you not?

Well, hypothetically speaking, It's the kind where the guy with loads of Crack Fallschirmjägers, Veteran Fusiliers, Crack StuH's and Hetzers would be expected to dominate over Regular and Veteran US rifle and airborne dudes supported by 1 Regular Priest and 1 Regular 105mm Shermie and without any artillery whatsoever am I right?

And I would agree with you if only it wasn't Moriarty commanding the Germans and ME commanding the 'murikans. The city is aflame, the panzers are gone and I believe only 40 of the German troops were alive enough to autosurrender, out of 300. That's a good thing when fighting Crack troopers, they don't have the sense to duck. There was one turn where 1 Crack Fallschirm platoon died in 4 seconds from close range rifle fire.

How he managed to scrape together 20 points is beyond me.

Lorak!!!

Geier: win

Moriarty: The other thing you do. The one where you don't win and don't draw.

And for those who are into that sort of thing, feel free to check out how many games I've lost. I must be really really good. Or you lot must be really really bad.

Toodles

[MrPeng]

Alright, what's all this then?

6 pages, SIX? gah, feh and a thousand other sounds of disgust:

menschy-poo, shut your gob, you've gone off the hard stuff I see and now you are back to being a coherent and useful human. this of course will never do in the grand scheme of things, and therefore you will have to be put down. I think Macy has the proper potion for that, as he sacrifices many sheep on the alter of syphilis. mace! the syringe please, and top it off with a bit of arsenic for our old pal mensch. He has come as many have to piss and moan about the quality of posts. may i remind you that this, the only thread that matters, is a product of our own fetid imaginations, and is only as good as our most recent brainfart. there is a collective madness to it and like sharks we spiral into a feeding frenzy, whichever way that frenzy takes us. sometimes we go down a sinkhole of brutish infant babble and sometimes we scale the lofty heights of high humor. WHO CARES? who really frigging cares eh? it will come and go and who cares?

the ssns of this incarnation are not worthy of a good Penging. I read, I thought, I yawned. A good Penging requires some decent fodder; a pompous ass like Dorosh, or a wiley drunken bastard like losername; in short, a good Penging needs a strong foundation. Infantile poopy talk is, as you are probably aware, a bit slippery and gooey and not at all useful for building anything other than shall we say, uh, well, erm, well, it isn't good for building anything other than an immunity to that particular odor for a few minutes. So, chin up, take heart amid the deepening gloom that your dog is finally getting enough cheese, and have cheery thoughts that the next thread will have some substance to it.

besides, it isn't all gloom and doom, today I had the choice of installing SQL server 2000 or reading the thread and posting. so you have an idea which is worse.

Did I mention lately that I have an eyelid filled with pus because of the damn emoticon ledgend winking at me down there in the bottom left? its true. i am waiting for it to come to a head so i can burst it and spash febrile goo all over my screen. i'll keep you all informed as to my infectious progress.

Peng

[Berlichtingen]

jdmorse,

You have proven (without a doubt {at least here in the Mutha Beautiful Thread}) over your long stay here that you are generally a man of mean understanding. Your latest post (I loath saying this) has a glimmer of value. It is true that the current incarnation of the thread does not live up to its past (quite honestly the past threads do not live up to our memories of them), look you to the alternitive. Let me take you back into the dim and distant past to gaze upon the words of one of the ancient ones...

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>The Wasteland, Everywhere. Endless nothing, except for a line of greenery and blue sky far off on one horizon. Three figures shamble into sight. One is dark, towering, and veiled in smoke, one is stern, unsmiling, arms crossed in judgement, and one looks like an unkempt old man, who's singing a rather odd song about whether New York girls can do the polka. They all look a bit knackered, and stop for a moment to knock back a few quart bottles of Belgian beer, panting, and looking around.

Peng: Bugger, this business of waiting in the wilderness for the rest to create the world is getting to be a goddamn marathon. What the hell's going on?

Seanachai: It's that Mad, Bald-headed Git. He's booting their arses along at a rare pace, that he is. As quick as they settle in to their new, shiny, Dreamtime habitrail, he comes along and shifts them on like a gang of tinkers. Used to be they'd come up and spend a couple hundred posts creating the new lands. Now, anyone spends that long exploring the wonders of creation, and they're trampled when the Big Trooper shows up.

Berli: It matters not. All will be undone in the end. As fast as it's created, it dissolves behind them. Only memories remain, mocked and abandoned.

Peng: All very well for you, Berli, who's province is chaos and evil. But I'm starting to cough up a lung, here. How can I sit in judgement of the useless bastards when I can barely keep ahead of them?

Seanachai: It is getting to be a hard pull, and that's a fact. Wish the Bald One would cut us some slack.

Berli: He has his reasons.

Peng: True, sod him. Look there, to the south. Is that Meeks?

Seanachai: No, Meeks is always stumping along to the East of us, shaking his fist. Look, over there by that mound of nothingness. See? He's giving me the finger.

Peng: That's Meeks, alright. So who's catching us up?

Seanachai: Ummm, I think it's Croda. And that new wank, the Lawyer. Oh, hell, it's not, it's Slapdragon.

Peng: The Too Live Krewe wannabe? Why's he pushing the pace?

Seanachai: He claims to be an educator. Or at least some sort of Academia Drone. True educators are pretty scarce on the ground, these days. Anyway, he's after our jobs.

Peng: What, hanging around here in this sodding wasteland, you singing gibberish, Berli smiling because someone's just kacked, and me having to review the uselessness of their entire existences? What's he going to do with it?

Seanachai: He wants to have a revolution. The usual, hand out fiefdoms, crush his enemies, proclaim a New World Order, while buffing his nails and waiting for the acclaim to roll in and nubile young women to fall adoring at his feet.

Peng: Son of a bitch, when did we get that?

Seanachai: Oh, Peng, we never got that. Oh, I remember one time YK2 told me I was sweet, and once Hiram told me I wasn't a complete arsehole, but I think that's about it. Most people at least have a certain reverence for you. Even Slapdragon treats you with reserve, and Meeks knows that the way to power is through invoking your name. It's all good.

Peng: Bugger. So why don't we just let them have it?

Seanachai: Well, actually, we already have. That's why we're out here in the desert, don't you know, trying to keep ahead of them. It's their's to create, now.

Peng: But half of them are useless wanks!

Seanachai: Of course, Peng. But they can evolve. Why, look at Marlow. Or Croda. And they rise, or they fall, but they keep us on the move, that they do.

Berli: In the end, they all come to me.

Seanachai: Yes, that's the nice part. Makes all the rest of it worthwhile, knowing how things end up, don't you know.

Peng: Here, what's being created next?

Seanachai: Er, lets see...In the next few hours of posting, this will be...Canada.

Peng: Canada?!

Berli: Canada?

Seanachai: Yes checking rune stones, the Ching, and several tomes the Peng Challenge Thread, on its Walkabout to create the entire world by the use of Combat Mission, will create Canada here...in the next 15 minutes.

Peng: Bugger

Berli: Blow

Seanachai: Well, let's get a move on.

Peng: Curse the Bald One, who drives us on like caribou seeking the coastal plain!

Seanachai: Wonderfully topical reference, Peng, and quite in keeping with our circumstances.

Berli: Sod off. Is there any more ale?

Seanachai: Oh, Berli, there's always more ale. That's the lovely thing about creation. You can. Now, who's for a bit of a sing-song? Berli, why not give us the Commandante's theme from Don Giovanni?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

[jdmorse]

Ahh My dear Berli is there anyting more pathetic, other than your own tired shopworn attempt to "play a part" like some detrius from a traveling version of Cats and actually think your powers are still extant.....than doddering old fools who are reduced to quoting the past? Buck it up and tale your viagra old boy.

[Iskander]

Okay... if it's suppossed to be a more kulturny Thread, then once again -- God help me -- I must supply another song. If anyone does not listen to "popular" (now how's that for a misnomer) music, you may not get the tag, but I think y'all (sidelong glance at MrSpkr) deserve it. To wit:

see the waste of the outer board

no enlightenment to be found

see the death of the perfect game

hanging head in disgust and shame

Here we are now, going to the Peng Thread

The One True place were grogs may not tread

post all night, we post all day

newbies may come but we hope they don’t stay

here we are in our cesspool home

gnawing grudges like an old bone

i watch my troops move across the screen

i feel the hate come over me

Here we are now, going to the Peng Thread

Two A.M.? no it’s not time for bed

newbies may come but we hope they don’t stay

feeding trolls just never does pay, where there's

fear and loathing in my force picks . . .

hey: gamey!

Here we are now, going to the Peng Thread

One more whisky for our addled head

Taunt all night, yeah, we’ll taunt all day

looking out for a sucker to play

Here we are now, going to the Peng Thread

I hear from my friends that the newbies have fled

Pick a fight, play like demons from Hell

come home again and it feels so well.

[ 05-31-2001: Message edited by: Iskander ]

[Geier]

A Calvin and Hobbes quote for mensch:

"From now on my rallying cry will be So what!"

"That's a tough cry to rally around."

My belief is that most of us are at opposing ends simultaneously. On one paw WE DON'T CARE! while on the other paw we want to reserve the right to not care and the manner in which we don't care to ourselves and damn anyone who tries to take it away from us.

Damn anyone anyway.

Ie, we care, and we don't care. Simultaneously. This leads to a lot of Uninteresting Pointless Drivel while we sometimes reach the stars and post Plain Old Good Old Pointless Drivel .

Good night and feel free to contact us again.

It's all in a days work for Confuse-A-Cat Ltd

[Iskander]

feh.

[ 05-31-2001: Message edited by: Iskander ]

[Stalin's Organ]

Ah...it is good to see the introspection bought on by a bit of mild slagging.

See pengsters, newbies can actually be useful, inviting you to think about your pathetic existance, the lack of worth of your raison d'etre, and why it is that you are unable to fulfill the needs of your ancient, wrinkled and incompetant membership.

Nothing is more indicative of the demise of Pengdom than the Kebab's articulate response to Mensch, Peng et al -

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>

Feh

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Is thsi the articulate side of Pengdom expressing itself? It's too much for me I must admit - the cunning satire, the biting wit, the barely expressed undertones of contempt for fellow pengsters are all so well expressed by spitted meat in just 3 letters! Such articulation is rarely seen in the outside world.

So, Kebab...when are you going to send in the setup for game 3 of our little series....a ME is called for for the final bout is it not?

[imported_Wildman]

Long have I pondered exactly why a newbie would enter into the CessPool. Do they have a basic desire to have abuse piled on their delicate, oh-so-clean psyche? Or is it more of a titilating feeling of pushing their personal envelope by posting in an area called the CessPool.

Imagine if you will the scene of Stalins Piano sitting behind his computer. He's hunced over blearly looking at the screen tring to scry the meaning of OGSFs post. He quickly hits the reply button and mashes out a response that he composed for the Quake board.

"They'll be overwhelmed at my wit and ripote", he gleefully mutters to himself. Deep down he's feeling like a "bad boy" and a "repressed intellectual" because he's posting in the pool. Sad really.

Unfortunately, since the Mad Bald One has halted the immediate assault of newbie by Bauhaus in his usual fashion there is no deterent to them crawling in through the cracks in the walls. Not even Roach killer can stop them.

As for games, all I can say is that many of you are the gamey of gamey bastards I've ever had the sorry chance to encounter.

Speedy the Gamey Freak has a Cromwell sitting in a wheat field 600 meters away from a StugIII. The Cromwell fires and knocks out the Stug, the Cromwell was unspotted until he fired, even though there was a spotted Dailmer AC 5m away from him I was shooting at. Only a gamey freak who has somehow cracked the Source Luke the source could have that kind of luck. It matters not as I continue to smite him about his head and shoulders with a rubber chicken. He will fall and be stew meat in this evilness of Rune's

MrSprk has apparently decided to carve his missing vowel out of my hindquarters. His completely unhistorical use of a minefield, barbwire, and a roadblock in the defence cannot be tolerated. If he followed the proper Heer doctrine of marching his men into my artillery barrage the proper outcome would be arrainged.

StevetheRat HAS sold his pathetic, short-haired, socialist, kilt-chasing soul to Berli. In our Blood Hamster Berli has given him all M8s (both varieties) will I get halftracks and grandmothers. Berli obviously harbors ill-feeling about the drubbing he took at my hands which only a gamey tactic of holding the VLs won him the draw.

My former Knigget Marlow the Incapable is once again losing armor by the platoon in our RUNE funfest of "Foothills." I'm so far in his head I could win using one squad of cub scouts and a dull Swiss army knife.

In one non-pool game The_Capt and his sock puppet PIPPU the Foreign Legionare found their perfect game killing my intrepid elite engineers like so many ducks in a shooting gallery. Of course it took the computer giving him 3 JgPz IV, 6 Recon vehicle with big guns and a company of infantry against my 2 Hellcats and 1 platoon of engineers on halftrack to accomplish this feat. He is a certified Army bastard and I hate him almost as much as I despise you all.

[Speedbump]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Posted by Mensch:

Long diatribe about why the world is coming to an end<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Wow. Upon first reading this post (and its follow-up) several emotions ran through my mind. I tried to decide whether I should feel guilty that I was not espousing my views in rambling, incoherent and frankly unreadable ways? Was my humor not biting or witty enough? Do I care what Mensch thinks?

But before I wasted any neurons on these imponderables, it struck me that his points paralleled many situations in history. Many people believe that today’s art does not meet the aesthetic or creative levels of the Impressionistic era. Others believe that the beauty of Opera and Classical music is lost on today’s generation. Yet let me point out that Van Gogh died penniless (and earless). Mozart died without the full benefit of his work. And Beethoven died deaf. The point? Not sure yet, but it may have something to do with old farts never believing that their work is appreciated.

After my mind emerged from this cul-de-sac, I considered Mensch’s second post deriding a lack of response and his natural assumption that no one cared or listened. Actually, no one does care what Mensch thinks or says, and frankly I tend to scan his posts anyway. But the one critical nugget in his post was a threat to the Pool’s raison d’être. Were it not for the Pool, I might get something done during the day at work. Were it not for the Pool, I might actually speak to my wife in the evenings. Were it not for the Pool, I might be driven to play PBEM’s against a number of garden-variety slugs whose concept of proper in-game communications is “Hey, nice move, that PzXXX sure is tough to take out! zzzzzzzzz”

Should I be concerned that the Pool does not reach the heights of faded memory? Should I worry that the Pool will dry up and blow away? Should I be concerned that Mad Matt will suddenly not find the Pool entertaining? Only if the freaking trolls keep getting invited and fed!!!

After this distorted, and contradictory train of logic, it came to me in a flash. Nay, an epiphany! You all suck. I detest the air you breath. You are not fit to be the gum that finds itself wedged between the treads of my soles. An over-amorous cat would reject your advances. Finally, to quote one of my favorites (and especially applicable to the Pool):

You hide when you hear water running in the tub, you stinking, ordure savouring, harp seal torturing, misbegotten offspring of a malodorous pervert.

Except you Kitty, I think your kinda neat!

Everyone else, drop ‘em, bend over, and cough!

Mensch, thank you, I feel much better now.

Speedbump

[Mark IV]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Elvis:

Is it true that I have no takers for my suggestion on page 2 of this thread?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

This was an appealing prospect and one of our nicer recent posts, except that:

This is Fresno. We barely have electricity, much less your fancy internet bars. We may actually have internet meth labs (our largest export after raisins) but I don’t know the urls for the drug-cams. They keep exploding before the Search engines log ‘em in.

The nearest internet pub is 3+ hours away in San Francisco. Parking would cost more than the beers. I would have to convince my Chrysanthemum that drinking with invisible virtual wargame acquaintances is somehow better than actually playing wargames, the thing she hates most in the whole wide world.

I could stay home and buy YOU beers in Philadelphia. Unfortunately, our policy is only to sponsor promotional beers for people and things we have beaten. I would feel like a cad ordering suds for Peng (and Hiram may qualify by then), and leaving you standing there parched. However, I may tune in for a laugh at your collective expense.

Now then.

Once again we hear of global warming, the extinction of the whales, and the imminent death of the Peng Challenge thread. We have heard this all before.

I offer this novel explanation for the lack of readable contributions: the more clever one is, the more likely one is to have a day job. Thus, our suddenly-sober menschie can post his angst, wait for responses, grow disillusioned, wither, and die an embittered old corporate hack, all in the space of time it took me to settle an international distribution dispute before lunch. This is taking instant gratification to extremes. Those of us who don’t work for the government must often toil for hours at a time without a break.

Another factor is substance abuse. The dullards who have lately made this about as exciting reading as pages of Assembly code have inconsequential jobs, which they nonetheless fear losing to positive urinalysis results. Therefore, they are posting straight, and sober. I know for a fact that the immortals, such as Peng or Seanachai, wouldn’t dream of posting a syllable if they felt they were still capable of driving a car or operating power tools. I know that I have logged in with the warm golden glow of Scotland upon me, only to shudder at what I had written in a sober moment. Just say Yes, and hold that thought until an artificially inspired moment, before posting.

Now, this post has been several hours in composition, not because I cared, but because my exciting and fulfilling job has intervened. I see posts confirming these sentiments, particularly my injunction against posting sober.

PS: Geier is here? I owe him an e-mail, something about our next war, his insufferable arrogance, and the many ways in which he reminds of Pawbroon. I'll have to draft something suitable after work....

[dalem]

Well, mensch, 99% of the threads I skim on the rest of the board make my head hurt, either because they are so filled with figures and formulae and arcane facts that my brain swells, or because they are so filled with ridiculous posturing and tripe that I begin banging my forehead on the edge of my desk. The remaining 1% that I actually follow and/or post in are either useful or entertaining, even if some of the other 99% leaks in. So as bad as the Peng Thread may seem when compared to "the old days", it's still head and shoulders above the rest.

Most of us know how to play the game and enjoy it at the same time, and some of us even know how to taunt, be taunted, and enjoy it at the same time. Has the level of entertainment tended to fall from the lofty heights of Monty Python toward the spastically flatulent depths of The Three Stooges? Yeah, I think so. But that just means that the flashes of brilliance will be that much more noticeable when they happen.

Knowing that there's a real limit to the size of the threads these days can have an effect too - no one wants to be the last guy killed in the war and no one wants to be the last guy posting something really witty on the last page of the thread.

It'll reach equilibrium soon enough, I think.

And speaking of repugnant repugnanciers, Dame Achin' obviously spiked my mens' canteens with powerful laxatives, because they all jumped out of their foxholes and are running to the rear at the same time, screaming and clutching at their bottoms. Dame's cruel and evil minions are bayonetting them in the back as they run like park rangers spearing cigarette butts. I'm disgusted, Dame's gonna win this one without even committing his main force, and if I read one more post by losername I will most probably explode.

[Speedbump]

MrSpkr, please accept this post as the gauntlet being laid down (down Bauhaus!), or across your pockmarked face.

While you were able to best me in our inaugural game, due no doubt to the ability to stack the forces in the setup, we shall return to battle in the following manner:

Ubertanks only.

Hilly Terrain.

View 1 only.

And last, but no least, FOG!!!

Skill will play no role, only quick reactions. I expect you will die, not a little, but a lot. I may also, but I shall enjoy the tension.

Let us recap. MrSpkr, you are a simian wannabe, while I am a paragon of honor, morals, and striking good looks.

The setup shall be in the mail tonight.

Speedbump

[ 05-31-2001: Message edited by: Speedbump ]