Time to Lock the Forum and Concentrate on Peng Thread

[Mace]

Whoa! Seems to be a bit of tidal activity in the pool lately.

Oh well, this certainly looks like the ideal spot to discard my old signature (which was stating the bleeding obvious), and introduce the next one.

And who said I never listen to my adoring fan (that is singular btw)!

------------------

Inaugural wearer of the MASK OF SHAME since 7 January 2001, as bequeathed by Her Royal Highness of the CMBO discussion board, and ruler of all hamsterdom.

[David Aitken]

*Captain Foobar* wrote:

> My life is complicated. This is the only refuge I have from all the insidious bastards trying to wreck my life.

Nope, looks like they're here too.

> I need help.

Join the club.

> I am hurt and angry.

Congratulations, you exist and you are human. Beyond that we're not quite sure, but there do appear to be signs of animation.

> I will try to find my way back here, if any of you have any advice for me.

Let's see... okay; prevention is better than cure; a stitch in time saves nine; honesty is the best policy; the truth is out there; trust nobody; never assume people know what they're talking about; and most importantly of all... umm... I've forgotten.

> I love you all....

You need help. Oh, you know already.

[Seanachai]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mace:

inaugural wearer of the MASK OF SHAME since 7 January 2001, as bequeathed by Her Royal Highness of the CMBO discussion board, and ruler of all hamsterdom.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Can we watch while you kiss her instep, next? This is the best bit of grovelling I've seen since...well, I don't know that I've ever seen grovelling of this quality. My gods, it's damned reassuring that a pretty face, insouciant attitude, and leatherware still have the power to move men's...er, well, 'hearts', I guess. Very impressive, Mace.

------------------

Tremble, tyrants and you perfidious opprobrium of all the parties,

Tremblez! your parricidal projects finally will receive their prices!

But these sanguinary despots, But these accomplices of Berli,

All these tigers which, without pity, Bauhaus the centre of their mother!

We will enter the career When our elder is not there any more,

We will find there their dust And the trace of their virtues

[Moriarty]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Goanna:

Ye of the extreme wussiness (if there is any question - this definitely means YOU!)

So if you think I owe you a turn (Moriarty), you are on crack. Keep those turns coming, losers, as i have quite a jones to work off here in the next two weeks.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

You scandalous dog, you cur, you wretch, you fowl fiend. You do owe me a turn. Or is it that you're shrinking away in fear? Knowing that at any moment the big guns of my massed armor will open up and shred every bit of humanity on your side of the ma ... oh, ****, I've got the Americans ... oops, um, neveryoumind.

------------------

"Moriarty, you suck." -- Dunno, but somebody must've said it somewhere along the line

[Mace]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Seanachai:

Can we watch while you kiss her instep, next? This is the best bit of grovelling I've seen since...well, I don't know that I've ever seen grovelling of this quality. My gods, it's damned reassuring that a pretty face, insouciant attitude, and leatherware still have the power to move men's...er, well, 'hearts', I guess. Very impressive, Mace.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Why thank you!

btw, deplorable, this thread was on bottom of page 2, hence my intervention.

Mace

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Inaugural wearer of the MASK OF SHAME since 7 January 2001, as bequeathed by Her Royal Highness of the CMBO discussion board, and ruler of all hamsterdom.

[stevetherat]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Crodas Special Envoy and Chief Shafting Hole, jd:

Croda asked if I could post this for him: An Open Letter to the CessPool:

By this letter I hope to convey two things to everyone:

1. I am as scared as a yellow-backed fat chicken facing an enormous salivating (and very hungry) red fox carrying a sizzling frying pan with my name on it.

2. Since stevetherat started posting here proclaiming that he wanted my hide for tanning and resale to a particularly nice Saville Row cobbler, I have become rather reluctant to show my face and would ask you nice people to tell him to go away so I can come out to play again.

Yours,

Croda<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Oh dear, I think Crodas nappy needs changing.

[mensch]

what this thread needs is a good?. Prostate Probe, it sinks faster then posts from Dr. Brain.. Mr.Brain.. or what ever his bloody name is.

I formally nominate Mace as our official "whip boy", now mind you he is to use it on sparing occasions but he can use it on his on buttocks as much as a spring South American Swamp Slug exfoliates in a day, which if I can remember Senachaipoo may know since he is full of useless but semi-Interesting information.

me finks when I get home I will tackle those pbems and send them off to the corresponding gits who deserve them, one exceptional git is Jerkboy; I mean come on! once in your life stop kicking my troops butts!! you know if you keep this up I may have to get tough with you and unleash my wife on you.

---------

Der Kessel Home of „Die Sturmgruppe“; Scenario Design Group for Combat Mission.

[This message has been edited by mensch (edited 01-16-2001).]

[mensch]

you all sux.. where the feck are the posts!!!?? for that I post some junk Email I got! tobad.. suffer.. and I will continue to do this till the lot of you slobbering dolts start posting more and this sad excuse for a Peng Thread becomes something more interesting then Andreas 88flak post! jeez... talk about alot of floppy Poolers... tis a sad time for us.

my crap email I got

"Dr Suess On English

We'll begin with a box and the plural is boxes;

but the plural of ox should be oxen not oxes.

Then one fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,

yet the plural of moose should never be meese.

You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice;

yet the plural of house is houses, not hise.

If the plural of man is always called men,

why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?

If I spoke of my foot and show you my feet,

and I give you a boot, would a pair be called a beet?

If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,

why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?

Then one may be that, and three would be those,

yet hat in the plural would never be hose.

And the plural of cat is cats, not cose.

We speak of a brother and also of brethren,

but though we say mother, we never say methren.

Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him,

but imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.

So English, I fancy you will agree,

is the craziest language you ever did see."

-----------

<href="http://www.geocities.com/greg_mudry/sturm.html">Der Kessel</a> Home of „Die Sturmgruppe“; Scenario Design Group for Combat Mission.

[Speedy]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally whined by mensch:

You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice;

yet the plural of house is houses, not hise.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Shouldn't that be hice.

[Geier]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Speedy:

Shouldn't that be hice.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Good work speedy. Keep it up (and bauhaus down).

------------------

Johan

"The succesful execution of a well devised plan often looks like luck to saps."

Dashiell Hammett

[Geier]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Speedy:

Shouldn't that be hice.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Good work speedy. Keep it up (and bauhaus down).

------------------

Johan

"The succesful execution of a well devised plan often looks like luck to saps."

Dashiell Hammett

[mensch]

how the feck should I know its just junk mail I get.. which if it makes no sence at all it gets posted here every time this fecking dump of a thread gets page two.

menschy out

[Hamstersss]

All right, all right. Now that the thread has gone to Poughkeepsie and back, it's time to get serious. As most of you know, the amount of actual brain activity I can accomplish on a regular basis is as close to nil as possible, what with the ol' brick-to-head thing. Keeping this in mind, I have managed to schedule some good thinking time after work today so that I may try out my, DUM DUM DUM, very first TCP/IP game. As befits my place as Lord of the Peng Thread and Keeper of the Faith, I set these conditions:

Said game must be quick.

Said game must be small.

Said game should be on a map put together by loony people, preferably French or German.

Said game must be against one of the loony old timers. Sorry dalem, wildman, stevetherat and hiram.

Said game must include lots of death and preferably a large amount of destruction.

Yar!

Sincerely,

Elijah Meeks

He of the titles so many that to list them would cause a new Pengnarock.

[Guest Wildman]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by stevetherat:

Wildman, ...some unimaginative chest thumping here.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Before you start your pathetic, someone take away my keyboard because I'm an idiot, taunting about not getting a file from me, I'll give you an update.

Not only am I agreeing to dance for the pleasure of the pool-at-large, Marlow has decided to heap even more filth on this already disgusting process, by sending a file called Peng's Crossroad. Definitely sounds like an area even the most perverted and depraved would avoid, considering such a crossroad is covered in globs of putrid green slime hacked up by said Peng.

However, the file had some problems with it and it would not open, so until Marlow and I can figure out the problem Stevethecockroach you will have to continue to wait and be ignored as much as possible.

If you ever try to pull off such a disgusting stunt like that default thing again you honorless slut, I may not send you any file. Read the post by Seanachai you moron, part of the reason for this is to meet on the honorable electronic field of combat. For you to come up with that whole, well he didn't answer me in one day crap really pissed me off. I disliked you before, but now I abhor you more that I hate Meeks. I stay here and receive and post abuse because I know that the honor of it all is paramount you thick-headed imbecile.

So, to quote the English, Sod the feck off and I'll contact you when I am absolutely forced to, you waste of oxygen.

---

[Marlow]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Wildman:

However, the file had some problems with it and it would not open, so until Marlow and I can figure out the problem Stevethecockroach you will have to continue to wait and be ignored as much as possible.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

It's in version 1.1 I had no problems opening it, but I'll send it again tonight as a zipped file.

[Hamstersss]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Wildman:

Yap yap yap.

Eek! Yap yap yap!!!

Craptacular yaposity, dudes!

Blah blah blah, whine bitch, blah blah blah. I disliked you before, but now I abhor you more that I hate Meeks.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

And that's a lot.

[Marlow]

Go <font size=6 color="purple">RAVENS</font>

[GI Tom]

And now, for this week's version of...

CESSPOOL JEOPARDY!!!

I'm your host, GI Tom. (background Jeopardy music)

Our contestants today are:

Senachi, Peng and Hiram...

And let's begin.. (music fades)

Now, the first answer for $100.00.

"Wildman"

::Senachi buzzes in::

"What is a new, light brown ****stain to the Cesspool?"

GI Tom: Oh, I'm sorry, incorrect answer. Anyone else.

::Peng pressing button madly::

::Hiram waving wildly to audience:: Hi Mom!

::Beep Beep:: Time's up

Peng (was wheeled in for the game still in hospital bed): "Hey, I pressed the friggin button!!

GI Tom: Oh, I'm sorry Peng, that was your IV control, next time press the correct button.

Peng: Damnit! Keeerist on a bike!

GI Tom: The correct answer is, "Who takes longer than a Senachi post to return PBEM turns."

Now, let's move on, this one is for $200.00

The answer is

Berli

::All 3 buzzers go off at the same time::

All speaking as quickly as possible:

Senachi: Who is the antichrist of all living things??

Peng: Who uses flame in a CM game more than hell itself??

Hiram: Who was the 4th century Roman poet who first created iambic pentameter and the useful purposes of limericks and Haiku's while also conducting ground breaking work on increasing the efficiency of vomitoriums?

A lone voice from crowd yells out: GOOD ONE HIRAM!

Rest of audience, GI Tom and contestants: SIT DOWN BAUHAUS!

GI Tom: No, I'm sorry, the question is, Who is getting their arse beat by GI Tom's French boys in a good ole' shellacking of a CM game.

And that concludes today's Cesspool Jeopardy. Hope you'll play again.

There will be no prizes for anyone, now all of you get out.

GI Tom

------------------

To a New Yorker like you, a hero is some type of weird sandwich.

[jd]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by chrisl:

Morsel-- did your secretary quit or something? The spelling, grammar, and general coherence of your written communications seem to be slipping lately.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

My dear Pissel Why do you think I HAVE a secretary. I certainly did not pledge my troth to the law as a demanding mistress because I could spell, type, or even knew what grammar is...... rather it's because I posses an ego that tolerates very little else and I like stomping little fuzzy helpless things... so Bugger off ya bucket of Pengish sputum.

MeeklybuggeredbyaHamster what is this ****e? You go off to hump (or be humped) by penguins, return, and ignore your outstanding obligations. Now you are advertising for a TCP/IP buggering. Sir you have prior commitments that it is time for you to finish.

I have allowed you sufficient time to bring your accounts current as they are seriously in arrears. Therefore, please be advised that under the terms of our arrangement I am accelerating the demand for repayment. All turns are hereby declared in default and immediately due and payable. To avoid further collection efforts you are requested to contact our office so that a suitable payment plan maybe instituted. At least the Frenchman has seen fit to begin to catch up his account.

The fact that you are getting your little frenchified butt handed to you at the time of the disappearance may of course have something to do with it. Seanachai wrote of honor in the pool. Ha! Like I'd expect that of you, a deadbeat if ever I saw one. So get with it and send the next turn or I shall be forced to turn your account over to some of my "associates" Crodaligio and Hiram "Bambino" Sedai to look after my interests.

jd

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If frogs had uzi's, snakes woudn't mess with them so much. - Hiram

[This message has been edited by jd (edited 01-16-2001).]

[stevetherat]

Weldworm

Time of the month? I thought so. Take an Asprin™ and sit down with low lights. You f'ing speck of house dust.

How dare you get a proper game in before ME! I made my presence and intentions felt way before you did, you sack of shrivelled gonads.

Tell me, who's arse have you been cleaning with your tongue, you f'ing squeegee?

Exactly how long do I have to wait anyway? My boredom threshold level 10 (reserved for retarded, slobber-covered, food-encrusted, hyperactive 2 year olds) has already been passed. You have defined a new level of numbness. Well done.

Marlow, you reek of some dribbling perverted old man that has found a new 'lodger' to play with. Arsewipe.

[jshandorf]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Elijah Meeks:

All right, all right. Now that the thread has gone to Poughkeepsie and back, it's time to get serious. As most of you know, the amount of actual brain activity I can accomplish on a regular basis is as close to nil as possible, what with the ol' brick-to-head thing. Keeping this in mind, I have managed to schedule some good thinking time after work today so that I may try out my, DUM DUM DUM, very first TCP/IP game. As befits my place as Lord of the Peng Thread and Keeper of the Faith, I set these conditions:

Said game must be quick.

Said game must be small.

Said game should be on a map put together by loony people, preferably French or German.

Said game must be against one of the loony old timers. Sorry dalem, wildman, stevetherat and hiram.

Said game must include lots of death and preferably a large amount of destruction.

Yar!

Sincerely,

Elijah Meeks

He of the titles so many that to list them would cause a new Pengnarock.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

If I recover this evening from my bingeing of alcohol and sex last night I will send you an e-mail for a TCP/IP.

Jeff

------------------

I once killed a six pack just to watch it die.

[Guest Wildman]

Stevie,

You pathetic buttmunch, who gives a flying feck about your numbness level. Perhaps if you tried a real taut without heap of profanity and some two syllable words, you might actually get some response, you ninny!

So sit down, take your Riddlin, and Shut the hell up!

---

[dalem]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Elijah Meeks:

Said game must be against one of the loony old timers. Sorry dalem, wildman, stevetherat and hiram.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

a. You're assuming I'd want to sully my DSL connection with weepy bits and bytes from the likes of you. Wring out your panties somewhere else, gomer.

2. You used my name in the same sentence as wildman and stevetherat. Being included with hiram isn't so bad because he seems fairly non-torpid and fecal. But the spratlings? That's pretty much a kick in the sack from you to me so even given my response above I'm gonna have to challenge you.

When I'm done with someone on my current dance card I'll send you a setup. Something medium-sized (like the hump between your shoulders) and with mostly guys (like your sister at the docks).

[Mace]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by mensch:

I formally nominate Mace as our official "whip boy", now mind you he is to use it on sparing occasions but he can use it on his on buttocks as much as a spring South American Swamp Slug exfoliates in a day<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Wow!

A sheep costume, newbies to get "familiar" with, the mask of shame, an invitation to kiss HRH's instep, and now the whip!

*SNIFF*

I just Love you guys! *SOB*

Allow me to show my love for you with an update:

jdmorse

Almost over, my {censored} remaining Chaffee/s play hide and go seek with a few King Tigers. Given the score, I just wonder what posessed me to volunteer to play this most evil of Rune's scenarios in the first place.

Oh yeh, that's right! STUPIDITY!

Joe Moore

Joe has suddenly decided to withdraw most of his forces from one of VL, and try an all out outflanking manuever on the other VL.

Given the (lack of) quality of a bazooka team that tried to take out one of my mobile flak laddies and failed dismally even after several attempts...I'm not worried at all.

Meanwhile, I'll just help myself to the other VL, will I?

SirABCD

Geez, get a new nick will ya? I find yours hard to remember mainly because I never got past the letter "E" at primary school.

Anyhow, 4 of my recon jeeps are now reduced to 1. One jeep played hide and go seek with a Hetzer (and lost) but the crew died heroically by trying to gum up the Hetzer's tracks by throwing themselves under the AFV.

Fortunately, the jeeps have helped me fix some of his forces, and I have now cheerfully lobbed some HE his way to show him I care!

Seanachai

Keeps mentioning works of classic Australian writers when he forwards me the turns. Sheesh, as if I care! I prefer to restrict my reading to the fine articles in Penthouse or Playboy.

As to the game, another one almost complete. Savage early game combat has meant we are a both nearly out of ammo and resources, with both of us controlling one VL each. Our time is now spent glaring at one another and name calling. And trying to get the odd kill to drive that percentage up just a little higher.

Speedy

The combat is not what I would call fierce. I'm trying to recon by force to fix his forces. Meanwhile, he continues to swill beer down at the pub.

One bonus was the destruction of a piat team of his that was sneeking up via reverse slope to workover some of my AFVs. Didn't expect that 251 did ya!

Well I'm spent!

Was it as good for you as it was for me?

Mace

[Hakko Ichiu]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Official decrypt from Australian Intelligence (now there's an oxymoron for you):

Joe has suddenly decided to withdraw most of his forces from one of VL, and try an all out outflanking manuever on the other VL.

Given the (lack of) quality of a bazooka team that tried to take out one of my mobile flak laddies and failed dismally even after several attempts...I'm not worried at all.

Meanwhile, I'll just help myself to the other VL, will I?

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

A command bunker for the U.S. First Hamster Army, somewhere in the Ardennes)

Hiram: (snaps his best possible salute given that he is holding a paper-bag shrouded bottle of Thunderbird and a copy of Cherry Blossoms magazine) Generalissimo Professor Doktor Hamster X, sir!

Prof. Dok. Ham. X (for it is he): Report, soldier, but don't splash me with that stuff. It burns.

Hiram: Sir, we have a reported sighting of Joe Shaw! It seems he's posting turns in the Australian sector.

PDHX: Australian sector, eh? Then how come he isn't spraying his trademark ineptitude in our direction?

Seanachai: Maybe he's planning something, oh my general. Perhaps he seeks to mimic the famous cattle raid of Cormac Mac O'bergruppenstompingmackerel of which the druids...

PDHX: Put a sock in it, windbag. If I want useless blather, I'll ask Germanboy. So, what do you think, Andreas?

Silence. The wind blows. A tumbleweed rolls through the CP

Meeks: Sir! This lowly scumbag begs to report that Germanboy is AWOL from the 'Pool, Sir!

PDHX: And why's that, sailor bait?

Meeks: Sir! This lowly scumbag believes that it was my polar-bear-in-heat-like body odor that drove him to it, Sir!

PDHX: Hmm, can't say I blame him, frankly. But the question remains, where is Shaw? If he releases another pack of Mormon Wives, there'll be hell to pay.

Fire and sulphurous fumes. Lots and lots of fumes

Berlichtingen (for it is he): Did someone call?

PDHX: Oh, get lost, you old has been. I had your number way back in v1.02.

Berli disappears in a huff of smoke

Hiram: I have an idea, sir.

Geier, von Luck, jshandorf, mensch, PawBroon, Kitty, Y2K and all the rest: That's a first!

PDHX: Back to your cages, you low-lifes. I'll deal with you later. Speak on, young Hiram.

Hiram: Sir, maybe if you taunt Joe Shaw enough, he'll come out of hiding and send you a turn...

PDHX: Pray continue.

Hiram: You could say something to him that's witty, pithy and biting, like...maybe "I taunt you."

PDHX: Hmm, not bad on the conception, but the implementation's a little weak. Still, I like your thinking. Have a cigar.

Hiram takes the cigar and fumbles in his pockets for matches.

PDHX: (reaches for fecking flamethrower)Don't worry, son, I've got a light for you...

Exit Hiram. Exeunt omnes

[This message has been edited by Hakko Ichiu (edited 01-16-2001).]