How The Peng Challenge Was Won And Where It Got Us

[David Aitken]

Leeo wrote:

> David Aitken is now starting to complain about having chosen a rainy night scenario. He complains with good reason, for after I sprung a reverse slope ambush which destroyed a Churchill and a few squads, mortars, MGs, and other accoutrements of war, his Brits are now shooting up trees, bushes, rocks, and each other.

Good to see Leeo is keeping up on the PR. Indeed I trampled over a few of his Sturmgruppe squads on the way to the VL. Indeed I commented "nice ambush", words which appear to have gone to his head in a big way. In truth, it was such a poor ambush that his large and heavily armed platoon, supported by machineguns, panzerschrecks and miscellaneous others, couldn't even stop a platoon of British soldiers out walking the battalion Scottie dog, Hamish. It has, however, been a uniform characteristic of this battle that my men have suffered far more casualties from each other than from Leeo's bumbling Sturmkompanie thugs. By all rights he should have walked straight over me, but has thus far been responsible for precious few of my losses. I shall proceed with my imaginative tactics, and possibly end up somewhere near the VL in the process.

[DekeFentle]

Just a quick "bugger off" to all you poolers. I find my time constrained by the real world of late but don't think I'm not lurking.

Game update to follow in a couple of days.

When the Whuppin' boy speaks, gather round and hearken well. Pain is humanities most eloquent mentor.

[ 04-10-2001: Message edited by: DekeFentle ]

[Berlichtingen]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Stuka:

HardSpooner old sausage, you are indeed fortunate that in these days of enlightenment, in these days of the New 'Pool, in these days of sensitive new-age guyness , that a Kniggett of the "Old 'pool", may not ride out upon the heath atop his mighty squire and run you through with his lance like the perforated abcess that you are.

I am tempted sorely to crush you like a teenage pimple on prom night, but alas, tradition dictates that you must bitch fight a lesser mortal than I.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Sorrry to be the one to point out your obvious mistake, but...

Knights make their own rules, so lance away

[Berlichtingen]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by mensch:

and berli no gamey map edge hugging this time!! you smelly balding old guy.. jeezus 40... I heard Christ has 55!!! the only one older then you is George Burns and he had 2!!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Gamey: The refuge of the tactically challenged. Might I suggest that you cover your flanks? Oh? Haven't gotten to the 'flanks' part of your 'tactics coloring book' yet?

[jd]

Ahh mensch (may I call you...hell I don't even care enough about you to call you at all) It's so nice to see your pedophiliac trolling butt munching silly Elvis wankers sophmoric sophism pederasty on display for the masses.

That being said, why don't you take the plethora of brain cells you have (since they all seem to be firing at once) and bury it in a pile of refuse so the cows don't eat it, sicken and die. BME (bovine mensch encephalitis) with the Jackob-Crutch-mensh variat no doubt) That explains some of the drivelous and endless cortex upheveals you have subjected us to in the past.

Go sniff your elderberries, toad.

[ 04-10-2001: Message edited by: jd ]

[imported_Wildman]

Ahh, a curse on your short and curlies eveyone one of you bastards.

I see that the taunt is not the way you level in the Cess is found anymore. Appartently it is the number by your name. Which is good for that Nasty Mormon Wife showing, bunghole Shaw. His drivel has become moronic of late and now he can scrape up some sembalence of importance by a three digit number.

Game Updates:

The game with the evil one Berli is coming to a close, we see the last movie this turn. A sad state of events when all I'm hoping for is a draw. The compleletly useless wanker pulled a evil, fast one. He bought absolutly NO vehicles or armor of any kind in a defend of his town. He did however by the gamey standard SMG troops and the heidiously ugly six or seven MG pillboxes. So while I was able to find equality based on my oh so historically accurate-based forces.

I'm sure that StevetheGit has already crowed about his win in Marlow's nightmare of a scenario Peng's Crossroad. Of course Marlow has already admitted the German forces I was assigned were not enough for the task and he is going to alter the scenario now.

As for my trusty kaniggit, he has lost all his armor and is now gamily exploiting the obviously under-powered MG model, by charging two full companies of Iowa corn-fed troopers across the empty field and into the town. He will die slowly and in copious amounts.

Speedy and I continue to stumble around in the rain, however, trying to attack with towed AT guns has got to be a bitch....right Speedy the Gamey Bastard

The Lawyer continues to complain about the mass-wave attacks on his left flank. Of course his obvious incompentance is the only reason a platoon now is a "human-wave attack."

As for the rest of you sorry, pathetic, useless wastes oxygen; your turn to be mulched is comming.

[MrPeng]

Gentleworms: I have lowered myself to write to you during the day and sober.

Game updates:

I am playing games with some people. I am winning some of the games. I am losing some of the other games. Some of the games may end up as a draw.

Who cares?

I have been reading the board, well, the Peng thread mostly, Nothing to see here. Can't stand to write with all those smilies staring at me.

I have been considering the sequential numbering of files...more about that later. Suffice to say I am going to come down on the side of Elvis on this particular matter. Rant to follow when I get a belly full of cheap booze and 36 hours of sleep deprivation. That should be in about 8 more hours. We'll have to see.

I also need a new sig. since I return files at the rate of one per ice age i cannot wait for the mace fight to end for my new sig.

the current one stolen from despair.com has outlived its usefulness and makes me vomit when i see it. if any of you greasy foreigners come up with a new sig for me there is a shiney new american dollar in it for you. if any of you americans come up with a new sig for me you can go pound sand, you should be on your knees begging to be my garscon du piss.

I hate life, I hate computers, I hate games. The only things I like are cheap booze and cheaper women, preferably ones that do not spring a leak when you hump them too hard - the women that is, not the booze bottles. I will be drunk again many many times before I am laid again and this has made me bitter. Damn women, damn them, wives and mothers, and the children they create. Damn.

Peng

[Iskander]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by mensch:

well JD... hark my words all this inbreeding causes nothing but sorrow, just look at Marlow for example he's so ugly, when he was a little boy, they had to put a pot roast in his lap so the dog would play with him...

I dare you to actually fire half of your one brain synap to think of something...

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

My God, but you're boring. I realize now that I should be quite thankful for how few words you use when returning the file to me in our game that you've been losing since the third turn but are too daft to give up.

So, in addled, sophomoric frustration you lash out at the Just and Noble Soul, jd. And what is to be done? What epithet can be applied to you than has not already? Being from Inuit-south you already carry the Mark of Trudeau; certainly punishment enough from Him? No? Well, allow me to add:

1. Folks like you with a family stalk would do very well to not discuss "inbreeding."

2. While we cannot dispute that Marlow must rely upon a pot roast in his lap for canine companionship, at least he did not go down your path of putting a wig on it and treating it like his wife...

3. And, a mere half synapse of my Most Just and Gracious Lord would more than equal every thought you have managed to string together in your wasted life, and that includes those you have had when "tenderizing your pot roast."

Your posts are as pathetic as your tactics. Oh, wait, maybe it was the other way around?

[David Aitken]

MrPeng wrote:

> the current one stolen from despair.com has outlived its usefulness and makes me vomit when i see it.

I have to say, don't Yanks seem to spend a lot of their time vomiting? I mean, I might dislike something, or it might annoy or depress me, but I can't say I often just spontaneously throw up over some trivial matter.

[Abbott]

Would someone please supply the page number in the manuel where "DO A SEARCH" can be found?

[Lorak]

A HAHAHHA You useless wankers!

My net connection at home is now up and running again! So you can all drop to your knees and beg for mercy like the mangy mutts you are.

I managed to get all my backlogged game turns sent out today.

A small update for your viewing pleasure.

GiTom... Game is on its last turn. It is a sad day indeed when all I have to hope for is a draw. I do find his gamey tactics of shooting my guys and contolling flags highly revolting.

Iskander... Has decided on the "bum rush" tactic. I wouldn't mind so much if I had anyone left alive to defend against it.

Croda... Has given me the defense on a map that no one in thier right mind would defend on.

Mace...Has given me some kind of strange scenario that has me worried. I have a lot of american armor... which means this must be a test scenario of german AT guns.

Goanna... taking a little time of thinking how gamey he must appear giving me the polish.

Hakko... still in that turkish prison.

All in all some nice little games going on right now in the pool. And better still they all appear to be keeping my losing record on the uprise.

Lorak the loathed

[Clash]

Since my high member number and tradition, both appear to prevent me from addressing the lower echelons of the pool, I won't.

So, I am forced to address this message to the canned sheep that follow in their wake. Those destined to spend their days sat on their ass in a perpetual cloud of horse fart.

Yes, you! The Sancho Wannabees! Oh keepers of the baggage... Send me a map, of your own choosing, for I wish to serve your vanity for supper... When I've given you a good `Clashing' and you return home bemoaning your dents and bruises, then perhaps we'll see if your masters joust at giants, or windmills.

[Mace]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Marlow:

Ladies and GentleWorms, Children of all ages, Hurry, Hurry, Hurry, Come one, Come all, and behold the freaks of the Cesspool.

....

See the amazing collection of semi-human abominations Amazing sights and sounds from other 'Poolers disturbed beyond mention await within. Hurry, Hurry, Hurry.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

...you forgot the village idiot, MARLOW!!!

[jd]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Clash:

Since my high member number and tradition, both appear to prevent me from addressing the lower echelons of the pool, I won't.

So, I am forced to address this message to the canned sheep that follow in their wake. Those destined to spend their days sat on their ass in a perpetual cloud of horse fart.

Yes, you! The Sancho Wannabees! Oh keepers of the baggage... Send me a map, of your own choosing, for I wish to serve your vanity for supper...

When I've given you a good `Clashing' and you return home bemoaning your dents and bruises, then perhaps we'll see if your masters joust at giants, or

windmills.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>What have we here? Hmmm style points for mild literary allusion and a an amusing trifle of an image for anyone who has ever rode horses out on the trail. Attempt at multiple usage and play on name that frankly, doesn't work well. Let's say 3/10.

On the other hand major fault marks for 1) ridiculous handle that keeps bringing to mind over age rock 'n roll band 2) failure to address remarks to individuals of the sub genus pool (proto-hominids all, since the Pongoids wouldn't have them, the chimps complained to the EEOC) 3) limp wristed syntax

that only moves the lower intestines, 4) lack of bile, more phlegm colored if you ask me. In short, get lost ya pissant.

Mensch, this is all your fault. traipsing around out there on the main board, dropping your pherome drenched trou's for every floncy drive by poster. You clean up after "it"

[ 04-10-2001: Message edited by: jd ]

[MrPeng]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by David Aitken:

MrPeng wrote:

> the current one stolen from despair.com has outlived its usefulness and makes me vomit when i see it.

I have to say, don't Yanks seem to spend a lot of their time vomiting? I mean, I might dislike something, or it might annoy or depress me, but I can't say I often just spontaneously throw up over some trivial matter.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Yeah, this from a man in the land of Haggis.

[Berlichtingen]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Clash:

Since my high member number and tradition, both appear to prevent me from addressing the lower echelons of the pool, I won't.

So, I am forced to address this message to the canned sheep that follow in their wake. Those destined to spend their days sat on their ass in a perpetual cloud of horse fart.

Yes, you! The Sancho Wannabees! Oh keepers of the baggage... Send me a map, of your own choosing, for I wish to serve your vanity for supper... When I've given you a good `Clashing' and you return home bemoaning your dents and bruises, then perhaps we'll see if your masters joust at giants, or windmills.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Jesus H feckin Christ!!!! What is it, have people forgotten how to read? Try reading the very first post of this very thread. Or, if you are looking to garner favor, just leave and do not return.

[Stuka]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Berlichtingen:

Sorrry to be the one to point out your obvious mistake, but...

Knights make their own rules, so lance away[/QB]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Ooooroighty then!

So be it!

The newbie, non 'pooler, radish fondler, Harpoontanger shall be gang bashed by Knigget and Squire alike!

Berli, a map of your utmost evil if you would be so kind, Sir.

The vineyard one I started with Squirmingirl should do nicely. We only got to turn 2 before Andreas ran screaming from the battlefield, tiara askew and mascara running, crying "gamey" "gamey" as he broke a heel in his flight and the tears flowed.

And should the hippy cousin of Meeks fall beneath the sword of Stuka/Leeo, I propose he be banished to a place of eternal torment, like Seanichi's sock drawer.

[Seanachai]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Elvis:

I would like to formally charge David Ohmyaikenhead with cheating. He somehow was able to, thru telpathy is my guess right now, get into my head and cause me to do things I would never consider doing on my own (sit down bauhaus).

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I'm sorry, but it's pretty much apparent to all on this Thread that the only thing, Elvis, that makes it's way to your head and influences your behaviour is whatever new form of ethyl alcohol you and Peng have found, whether by ragpicking, or distilling your cats' urine mixed with raisins and potato peels. Which reminds me, why have you and Peng discontinued shipping me communion wine?

[Leeo]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Stuka:

And should the hippy cousin of Meeks fall beneath the sword of Stuka/Leeo, I propose he be banished to a place of eternal torment, like Seanichi's sock drawer.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Sire, I trust the previously described scenario presented by chrisl will serve for this poor spawn of a termite's demise? After all, chrisl was so excited and all about his little puppy of a scenario, it'd be a shame to ignore him. It's like his only begotten bastard of an offspring. So, I say softmooner and I give the scenario a rough, thorough abusing, and then leave it crying in the bushes with it's knickers round it's ankles. "Uber-weapon of doom." Sheesh. And I suppose I'll have a whip-wielding shapshooter named "Indiana".

[Seanachai]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Stuka:

Ooooroighty then!

So be it!

I propose he be banished to a place of eternal torment, like Seanichi's sock drawer.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Stuka.

Stuka, Stuka, Stuka, my soft plushy toy, rather stained with too much cuddling by too many children bereft of handkerchiefs. I thought to present you with a manly dismissal, but I cannot find anything in your post on which to hang anything but scorn, and a feeling of sadness that the Commonwealth has come to this.

You 'fear' my sock drawer? Even Freud would wander away from this one, shaking his head and spitting loudly and vulgarly on the sidewalk.

We all delighted in your 'elf' or 'Charlian' ears. It was a wonderfully whimsical moment in the Peng Challenge Thread, which is normally so wound up with attempts at taunting and people sputtering and justifying their own lack of playing skills, that the thought of you running into a head-wind and taking flight, like some odd cross between Dumbo and the Flying Nun, was a much enjoyed moment of levity here in the Thread.

In a word, lad, we laughed our arses off at you.

I beg you, Stuka, desist from the 'gamey' humour references, which are beginning to sound just a bit smugly defensive. Return to naked skydiving, which, however aggressively 'thingy' oriented, stirred the imaginations of our more primitive members (Sit Do- sod it all for a game of tin soldiers, jump up and get all jiggy with it, Bauhaus!).

And Stuka, lad. Stay out of my sock drawer. The thought of you going through them is putting me right off my food.

[ 04-10-2001: Message edited by: Seanachai ]

[chrisl]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Leeo:

Sire, I trust the previously described scenario presented by chrisl will serve for this poor spawn of a termite's demise? ... "Uber-weapon of doom." Sheesh. And I suppose I'll have a whip-wielding shapshooter named "Indiana".<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I trust that the scenario arrived safely. I wouldn't want it to catch cold or anything-- I spent a good fifteen or twenty minutes putting it together. I think it's pretty well balanced, but I'm afraid to play it. I'm afraid to even look at it in fact, and had to have one of the cats zip it and send it to you. It goes to eleven. If the two of you don't post regular updates on the carnage I'll have Seanachai and that other guy...what was his name...Slaw...no...Paws....whatever, something like that. I'll have them come to your house, with jd in his greenest jacket, and bore you to death with extreme prejudice.

[Speedy]

Attention Lorak.

It is my melancholy duty to inform you that the nefarious creature, Mace, has beaten a surrender out of my poor soul on one of Runes' evil snowy things.

I'm sure the public servant will come along and gloat just as soon as he gets home from his daily taxpayer funded holiday.

[Seanachai]

Now, currently I am playing a thoroughly huge number of people. Or rather, those rather like people, although many are insufficiently evolved enough to actually deserve the apellative 'people'.

But there are those within these hallowed and rather moist and tacky halls that I feel the need to meet in single combat. So, should these same souls have a slot open in the next few days when a few of my current games run down, or should they just wish to set lance in rest against their better, I would make point as follows:

It is unacceptable that the One, True, and Thoroughly Despised Lawyer of the Peng Challenge Thread, that is, JD Morse (sod all this sporty jd ****e, the useless bugger will always be 'Morse' to me) and I have only managed to achieve a rather disturbing pattern of 'Draws'. There Can Be Only One (this must be said in a rather strangely 'Peter Lorre' sort of voice. I have it on good authority). Therefore, at his convenience, the Artiste formerly and eternally known as JD Morse should send me a setup, in which some sort of resolution must be sought.

Now, proceeding to the 'New Chums' (and I am, of course, using 'chum' not so much in the way of 'friend' as 'oily, partially decayed and bloody fish entrails scattered upon the water in the hopes of achieving larger and much more significant prey') I also desire, at some point in time, a game against Marlow. This one has been coming. It is time to face the end of your River Journey, lad.

Also, when Foobar and Roborat are through trying to kill each other while weeping disconsolately on each other's shoulders over the horror of a scenario they were given to work through, I would be quite pleased to show them what snivelling little flutterbugs they are, and teach them a new meaning to the word 'pain'. That's right, having to read my email exchanges while we swap turns.

Finally, in the New, Open, Accepting Spirit of the Peng Challenge Thread, I would like to say to everyone else who wants to play me: take your temperature with your finger, and then suck on it like a popsicle stick.

Oh, except Shandorf. You should in fact do the finger/popsicle stick thing, but I will play you again as soon as you have time.

[Speedy]

Hey whats going on isn't our lease up yet?

[Seanachai]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Speedy:

Hey whats going on isn't our lease up yet?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Shut up, Speedy, you wank! We're attempting to discover if the New (horribly and startlingly bright) Board allows the Peng Challenge Thread to resume its deserved position of posting preeminence (or at least go beyond the useless 10 page/250 post limit).