If I Said You Had a Beautiful Peng Challenge Would You Hold It Against Me?

[Seanachai]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Goanna:

Right. I'll second that. I can think of more than one that should have been proclaimed a FUP for a long while now. However, I suggest a simple plurality of those kaniggets available at the time should be sufficient to proclaim one a FUP if one has given cause to be so named. <hr></blockquote>

Now, another point to address:

At what point do we declare a poster 'anathema' in the Peng Challenge Thread?

We are the highest, and yet most unnatural of threads. We ask everyone who wishes to belong, to come in here, pick someone out, and abuse the ****e out of them. We ask our membership to 'be both the best, and the worst' that they can be.

We walk a line that is drawn on the collective psyche.

How, then, shall our works be known, and how will the sheep be seperated from the goats? (Sit Down, Mace!)

The simplest answer, of course, is the utter 'Darwinism' of the Peng Challenge Thread. When someone of no interest or value to the community begins to post endless streams of tripe, the worst sort are frozen out. They garner an ugly and dismissive post or two, and are never spoken of again.

Then there are the next level of SUPs, those who are abusively dismissed, and continue to post because they glory in being noticed. They take a while longer, but they go away, as well.

Finally, we have the most awkward level of SUPs, the ones who have the odd intelligible thing to say, the will and desire to belong, but who can't seem to find their arse with both hands even though it's on fire and a ring of people are standing around pointing at it.

Into this circle of hell fall Panzer Leader (hello, Squire cum Knight!) and now, AussieJeff.

For these useless lot, we have always needed the Peng Challenge Thread of Mother Teresa.

In the spirit of leaving no pillock properly dismissed, I hereby propose AussieJeff for the status of Serf. If one Seniour Knight of the Peng Challenge Thread respond with 'aye', he shall be so.

If made Serf, I ask of him to consider the great step he has made in the process of being regarded as something other than a bedstained sheet, and address himself to the utterly pointless and intriguing intricacies of being declared Squire.

Once you're a Squire, lad, you're half way home. No one's going to notice that you have eleven toes, a purple foreskin, and less than half the intelligence of the average 'household pet that must be kept caged'.

[Mace]

Aye!

Well I would saye aye except I'm not a senior Kinnigit due to some technicality.

btw, who do I have to sleep with to get promoted around here?

Mace

[Seanachai]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

Now look you here Seanachai, as the Justicar of the Peng Challenge Thread and Don't You Forget It ... hmmmm, that has a nice ring to it don't you think ... and the appointed keeper of the traditions, I must strongly protest against your stupid suggestion ... no offense intended beyond that implied.

The SSN tag has a long and noble history in the CessPool since I devised it and to simply discard it without so much as a by-your-leave is simply wrong.

Your alleged complaint is without merit on it's face as, deny it if you can, what status one has on the outerboard is of NO consequence to a CessPooler. Here you either ARE or ARE NOT a CessPooler. ANYONE who sets toe in the fetid and oily waters of the CessPool without being OF the CessPool is a Scum Sucking Newbie and I don't give a dangling damn if their freaking member number is #1. You'll note, for example, that our old and thankfully absent SSN Lard Generic MB has as his sig something that refers to SSNs as if HE WASN'T ONE!

Furthermore, as if my demolition of your argument so far wasn't damning enough, the ISSUE at hand is one of a class BELOW SSN and your suggestion does nothing to address that problem.

So Seanachai your suggestion is held in complete and total contempt by the Justicariate as being against the Traditions and Practices of the CessPool.

Joe<hr></blockquote>

Ah! Now Joe, you know that I, at least, have always held your post as Justicar in high esteem. I am, by nature and inclination, a traditionalist, and, amongst the Olde Ones, my role is the contemplation of the Past.

But there is a time when Traditions must be appraised, the Past must contemplated, and hard decisions made. As one of the Olde Ones, I must maintain Tradition, while casting every aspect of it into the fires of Berli.

I fully acknowledge that 'whatever your status, place, or position, you arrive like a new shorn lamb into the Peng Challenge Thread (i.e., ripe for disembowlment and devouring by predators)'.

But the point I wish to make is exactly the point you wish to make. I maintain that the use of the term "Newbie" incorrectly singles out Newbies on the Board in general, and makes more 'established' members think they have already attained a certain status, and therefore can expect a certain treatment on the Peng Challenge Thread.

You and I know that nothing could be further from the truth. The veriest, white-fleeced, bleating 'Newbie', still asking 'why can't my HMG teams run', and 'BTS, Why Don't You Close the Peng Thread', are no better in the eyes of the Thread of threads, the Mother Beautiful Thread, than the most arrogant, Fred-esque ÜberGrog who wants to know why 'BTS Allows Improper Modeling of Any Freaking Thing You Can Come Up With', and 'Why BTS Doesn't Close the Peng Thread'.

The thing is, here, Shaw, that you and I know there is no difference between these idjits, and we both agree they shouldn't be given any special status of dismissal on the Peng Challenge Thread.

But the sticking point is the nature of the title.

Now, I maintain that the term Newbies, is not 'specific' to the Peng Challenge Thread. It is a term in general internet usage, and, as such, is open to misinterpretation on both ends of the spectrum. An actual 'Newbie' might think, whatever his qualifications as a Taunter and Human Being, that he was being dismissed out of hand on the Peng Challenge Thread because he was, specifically, an 'Newbie'.

On the other hand, a long time poster on the Board might not understand that his utterly useless and sick making post to the Thread of threads was being dismissed because he was a 'Newcomer' to the Peng Challenge Thread, and argue endlessly and pointlessly about not being a 'Newbie'.

In other words, Shaw, we are arguing whether the coin toss is facing left, or right.

As an Olde One, acknowledging the Justicariate, and wanting to move forward, I would like you to shut the hell up about the goddamn SSN thing, and help the bloody Thread put stinking little puke new arrivals in their proper place without them whining that they're either being discriminated against, or that they're above clasification, and get on board with properly dismissing stinking little puke nothings!

[Seanachai]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Mace:

Aye!

Well I would saye aye except I'm not a senior Kinnigit due to some technicality.

btw, who do I have to sleep with to get promoted around here?

Mace<hr></blockquote>

Christ on a Crutch, Mace, are you on about that again?! I don't even know where you've gotten this. Has Stuka been making fun of you again in the school yard?

For the last freaking time, you patron saint of barnyard animals, you are a Seniour Knight.

I keep track of such things. Did I mention that? As horrible a little man as you are, you're a Seniour Knight of the Cesspool. Bugger. You'd think that a group of Useless Pillocks that are as hard to Crush as the Australians could grasp this concept.

[Berlichtingen]

Seanachai,

I am not suprised to see you have missed the point (a point other than that at the top of your little red hat). An SSN is a new comer to our auspicious thread. Nothing more, nothing less. Being an SSN implies a clean slate... neither a gem nor a lump of ****e. To be elevated to serf implies a certain level of acceptance and the potential of a rough gem. Should some knight feel the desire, he may take this uncut stone as squire to chip away the rough spots so that they may someday shine with the glory of knighthood. A SUP (yep, I do prefer that to FUP), on the otherhand, is one who has proven themselves unworthy of our company. It is a title that should not be given lightly as it means they are cast out, never to bask in the light of the glory of the Mutha Beautiful Thread And It Will Always Be There, amen.

[Joe Shaw]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>As an Olde One, acknowledging the Justicariate, and wanting to move forward, I would like you to shut the hell up about the goddamn SSN

thing, and help the bloody Thread put stinking little puke new arrivals in their proper place without them whining that they're either being

discriminated against, or that they're above clasification, and get on board with properly dismissing stinking little puke nothings!<hr></blockquote> Seanachai let's put aside, for the moment, the fact that SSN was MY BLOODY INVENTION ... like hell we will ... DAMNIT SSN WAS MY BLOODY INVENTION and your semantic circumlocution (or circumcision for that matter) doesn't address THAT little fact now does it.

But it's clear to me that the FIX IS IN AGAIN! Yes the heavy hand of the Olde Ones is once again overriding all good sense and tradition. I shall, however, require that it be made official with the published vote of yet another Olde One before I surrender my position ... AGAIN!

Furthermore I PROTEST the outcome in that the original idea was to DEMOTE the little swine and now YOU'VE gone and PROMOTED HIM! Well fine, Seanachai, if confirmed by another Olde One then so be it BUT ...

ON YOUR HEAD BE IT!

Joe

[Moriarty]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Mace:

Aye!

Well I would saye aye except I'm not a senior Kinnigit due to some technicality.

btw, who do I have to sleep with to get promoted around here?

Mace<hr></blockquote>

Shandorf

If that be distasteful to you, some use of my senior status might be arranged for, say, some use of your mutha beautiful NDA

[ 12-13-2001: Message edited by: Moriarty ]</p>

[Berlichtingen]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

But it's clear to me that the FIX IS IN AGAIN! Yes the heavy hand of the Olde Ones is once again overriding all good sense and tradition.<hr></blockquote>

What the HELL are you jabbering about? I'm backing you on this and you go on about the heavy hand of the Olde Ones. Sod off you great lumbering git! If I didn't think Seanachai had completely gone out of his mind, I'd withdraw my support. As it is, I do think he's taken a punge off the deep end so sit down and SHUT THE FECK UP! [grumble]Ingrate[/grumble]

[Seanachai]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Berlichtingen:

Seanachai,

I am not suprised to see you have missed the point (a point other than that at the top of your little red hat). An SSN is a new comer to our auspicious thread. Nothing more, nothing less. Being an SSN implies a clean slate... neither a gem nor a lump of ****e. To be elevated to serf implies a certain level of acceptance and the potential of a rough gem. Should some knight feel the desire, he may take this uncut stone as squire to chip away the rough spots so that they may someday shine with the glory of knighthood. A SUP (yep, I do prefer that to FUP), on the otherhand, is one who has proven themselves unworthy of our company. It is a title that should not be given lightly as it means they are cast out, never to bask in the light of the glory of the Mutha Beautiful Thread And It Will Always Be There, amen.<hr></blockquote>

I do not, completely, miss the point. I believe that there are those who must be dismissed. I believe that there are those who should not be accepted. I believe, as the gods are my witness, that the useless bastards so judged will die alone in a ditch, unloved and unmourned.

My only point of quibble is how we should deal with these 'thousand points of pus', and what we should call them.

Shaw wants to call the Newcomers "Scum Sucking Newbies", or SSNs, and make them run the gauntlet. I believe that the Newcomers should bear a title seperate from the general concept of 'Newbie', and bear one more specific to the Peng Challenge Thread.

But your point, oh Evil One, is taken. But we speak now of an Ultimate Dismissal, a complete and utter unacceptance to the Peng Challenge.

We are, in a word, speaking of Utter Damnation. Even for You, and most especially because of Your Circumstance, this is not something to be lightly applied.

It is our ultimate dilemma:

On what basis do we deny the Peng Challenge to a supplicant? At what point do we dismiss a pilgrim? By what criteria do we put a shotgun into the applicant's mouth, and pull the trigger?

This is the Challenge that faces the Peng Challenge Thread, yet again. How do we build up the sort of club that we wouldn't want to be members of because they'd have us as members?

[Berlichtingen]

Seanachai!

I say NAY to your call to raise FlossieJeff to serf! Rally forth good knights and join me in defying Seanachai on this! Who among you will also say nay?

[Berlichtingen]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Seanachai:

But your point, oh Evil One, is taken. But we speak now of an Ultimate Dismissal, a complete and utter unacceptance to the Peng Challenge.

We are, in a word, speaking of Utter Damnation. Even for You, and most especially because of Your Circumstance, this is not something to be lightly applied.<hr></blockquote>

Exactly! Excommunication!

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>On what basis do we deny the Peng Challenge to a supplicant? At what point do we dismiss a pilgrim? By what criteria do we put a shotgun into the applicant's mouth, and pull the trigger?<hr></blockquote>

By unanimous vote of all current posting members who have achieved rank of serf or better. Should the vote carry, the unfortunate will be as though they do not exist. Their posts unread and not responded to. Cast out from heaven and Hell to wander unwanted and lonely for eternity!

[Seanachai]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Berlichtingen:

Seanachai!

I say NAY to your call to raise FlossieJeff to serf! Rally forth good knights and join me in defying Seanachai on this! Who among you will also say nay?<hr></blockquote>

I do no more than my duty, and take responsibility for my Quest to 'Crush All Australians'.

Berli says nay. He calls upon all Seniour Knights to vote their conscience, and deny AussieJeff.

I ask one amongst you to look upon this utterly useless puddle of wombat piss known as 'AussieJeff', and see the poster that might be. See the potential for...er, well, yet another annoying Australian member, and say 'Yes'.

AussieJeff, if there was ever a moment for a last ditch, impassioned, and most especially, 'semi-intelligent' plea, now is the time. Post large, lad. Try to make me not want to throw-up.

[Joe Shaw]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Berlichtingen:

Seanachai!

I say NAY to your call to raise FlossieJeff to serf! Rally forth good knights and join me in defying Seanachai on this! Who among you will also say nay?<hr></blockquote>I am WITH you Berli. I say NAY!

As to the eventual disposition of the SSN in question ... that's for another vote.

Joe

p.s. My statement about the FIX was relating only to the attempted coup by Seanachai and was the reason I required another vote ...

[Seanachai]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Berlichtingen:

By unanimous vote of all current posting members who have achieved rank of serf or better. Should the vote carry, the unfortunate will be as though they do not exist. Their posts unread and not responded to. Cast out from heaven and Hell to wander unwanted and lonely for eternity!<hr></blockquote>

Unanimous vote?! Jesus Christ, I could barely get a unanimous vote on the Mother Beautiful Thread to deny Shaw being elected Queen of the May.

What you're saying to me, is, if we can get every currently sober, conscious, and competent member of the Mother Beautiful Thread to decide some useless f'ing pillock is a useless f'ing pillock, then they are cast out.

That could take weeks.

And even then there's going to be a hefty chunck of debate, not to mention sobering up, confusion, and the normal sheer idiocy.

[Joe Shaw]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Seanachai:

Unanimous vote?! Jesus Christ, I could barely get a unanimous vote on the Mother Beautiful Thread to deny Shaw being elected Queen of the May.

What you're saying to me, is, if we can get every currently sober, conscious, and competent member of the Mother Beautiful Thread to decide some useless f'ing pillock is a useless f'ing pillock, then they are cast out.

That could take weeks.

And even then there's going to be a hefty chunck of debate, not to mention sobering up, confusion, and the normal sheer idiocy.<hr></blockquote>Exactly ... I can't see a downside either.

Joe

[Seanachai]

Berli, and the Justicar.

AussieJeff, it looks poorly, when these two unite. What say you, lad?

What sayest Peng?

What sayest the Eldest of Australians, Goanna?

How speakest the Law, JD Morse and Lawyer?

What say the Australians?

And Hiram's Ghost: what from the First amongst the Most Self-Effacing?

And the Ladies of the Pool, what sayest thou, YK2, Persephone, and Kitty?

And what say the French?

And, Geier, what of the 'Old Firm'?

[Berlichtingen]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Seanachai:

Unanimous vote?! Jesus Christ, I could barely get a unanimous vote on the Mother Beautiful Thread to deny Shaw being elected Queen of the May.<hr></blockquote>

I disagree... we had full agreement about Stalin's Organ.

[Patch]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Seanachai:

And the Ladies of the Pool, what sayest thou, YK2, Persephone, and Kitty?<hr></blockquote>

I think we should give FlossieJeff another chance to prove that he isn't useless to the MBT.

Persephone

[MrPeng]

Aussiejefe? He is completely worthless. Whatever. I say, let's plug him and see if he's ripe. Regardless of the outcome of the ripeness test, he should be relegated to a status less than whatever it is to which he should be relegated. On the other hand, I have to agree with Berli on this one.

On further reflection, PShaw seems to have the right of it, if he is in fact in agreement with Seanachai. If PShaw doesn't agree with Seanachai, then I would have to say that whatever Berli said is probably at least half-correct and if it is even a single percentage point beyond half-right then it would prolly be best if we went with whatever Mace says we should do. Oh, wait. Mace never made it to senior KNIIIGGGGIT on some technicality, right?

Then again, I would really like to have FlossieHeffe's opinion on this, not for to take into consideration, mind you, just so I can have a good chuckle and a quiet smile to myself.

So, lads, what'll it be? IS OZZIE JEFF TO BE MADE KING OF THE SPITOON PATROL? Or do we hack his limbs off with scraps of tin? Is that what we are voting on? No?

Damn.

OK so then I vote that we make Meeks an Honorary Pillock and throw AJ's entrails to the dingos.

How does that strike your fancies?

Excellent.

Peng

No UBB code because I didn't effing feel like it.

[Berlichtingen]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Patch:

I think we should give FlossieJeff another chance to prove that he isn't useless to the MBT.<hr></blockquote>

[grumble]Yes dear[/grumble]

I still say NAY to him becoming a serf!

[AUSSIEJEFF]

(transmission starts)

"Oh No!!!

WHAT have I DONE!!! My dear, dear friends of the 'pool...... do they not love me, poor little AussieJeff ..... anymore??

Please - NO!! ..... [sobs uncontrollably][/wracked with pain] I ........ did not EVER wish to offend them. I just wanted to bring a ....... DIFFERENT but hopefully worthy point of view to this WONDERFUL place, but I see they now want me EXTRADITED, EXCOMMUNICATED AND ....... GASP ........ EXTERMINATED! Oh WOE ......... how could it come to this??? Maybe........ yes, maybe I should have told them from the start that I am an ...... orphan. And yes, that I am blind also and have to type by Braille. Or even that I was crippled by polio as a young child and have to type by holding a PENG in my mouth to tap the keys with .... sob, sob........

[sniff]I.........feel so horrible........I.......want to KILL myself.....[/snuffle]. YES!! OF COURSE!!! I will grant them their Xmas wish!! Yes, that will make them happy!! The first 'online' suicide in the Cesspool! I'll just squeeze this needle thingy that Uncle Jack left me, after I told him what that nice, considerate Squire Hanns had suggested I should do. [squeeze][/squeezeharder].

AHHH!!! ........ that's better ......... the burning PAIN of their scathing wounds .. is starting to ebb from my useless, wretched, paralysed form........ Oh gee - [sigh] I forgot that I was going to give that nice father figure chap Seanachai a challenge too over Xmas ...... [choke-sob] but now that chance is gone ...... OH! but a light ...... a bright light is coming nearer ... is this Heaven? ......aahhhhh!! ..... I ...... hope the guys appreciate my parting gift and...... have a nice, white Xmas .... [gurgle][/splutter] and a [cough] Hap.p.y... N......e.......w.................Y......................."

(transmission ends)

[Stuka]

Still a twit.

However I pray we observe from a distance a while longer and monitor the chrysalys that is FlossieJeff.

As ancient alchemists would observe an outlandish experiment to turn snot into gold, may we stand idly by and observe further.

May we sheath the sword and harness the 'brick' and await further the emergence of the 'taunter within'.

Still too brash and common is the entity of Floss and I fear that an olive branch offered will inevitably be used to flail his own 'thingey' in a Wagnarian orgy of repentence.

HOWEVER, and that is a big 'however', (See how I used capitals?), there may be an embryo worthy of further cell division here. I would barf instantly onto Peng's sofa if the nary thought of Floosie graduating to Knigggettt were ever possible yet perhaps a limit on promotion could be set in this case. From a position of something less than dirt may he be considered, with the lofty goal of no better than Serf as his ultimate reward.

"Here lie my thoughts on the matter"

(And don't forget, Moi is a Seniour Kniggett apparantly and so what I say counts!)

(Stick that in your pipe and smoke it, Mace)

[Mace]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Stuka:

(Stick that in your pipe and smoke it, Mace)<hr></blockquote>

Sorry, don't smoke, but I will have my fancy struck!

Mace

[CMplayer]

The world is so full of darkness and hate these days that we have to cherish every moment of joy, however small. AussieJeff has left us for a better world. It's as if a burden has been lifted. I think I'll go Christmas shopping.

[Noba]

You MONGRELS. You've caused poor Jeff to disconnect his vital life support....THE MBT.

FOOLS! His poor,tired,withered,decrepit (Sorry Jeff) body will now decay into the slime on the bottom of the 'pool. Never to arise...unless...unless someone calls him back before it is too late.

Anyway, thats done.....SITREP TIME:

In defense of all AUSSIES, well almost all [You know whom you are] The battle with the grate "outerboardtroller" Snatch-a-chie goes extremely well thankyou ! Assuming that he has nothing else stuck in places 'where the sun don't shine'...THIS WILL BE A DODDLE !

Noba.