To the last Challenge I grapple with thee. From Peng's Heart I stab at thee. Twice.

[Seanachai]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

{sigh} Just doing his job lad, Simon Fox, after all, is the Official Grog of the CessPool. A weaver weaves, a fletcher fletches and a Grog ... well a Grog ... Grogs!

Mind you his suggestion for DNA testing would likely be useless as the results would simply be "AUSTRALIAN", thus ruling out any chance of a civilized ancestry.

Joe<hr></blockquote>

Well spoken, Old Foul Joe.

Simon Fox, amongst the most egregious of Australians, does no more than nature intended of him, by proclaiming his Grog predilictions.

Goanna! Eldest of Australians! Get your arse in here and kick your people into line.

[ 12-18-2001: Message edited by: Seanachai ]</p>

[Goanna]

Ey ey, Mr. Bard sir. But begging your pardon, I am still trying to figure out exactly what Freiherr Goanna, Rittmeister von Oz und Überlizard means. And you know, bablefish doesn't work quite as fast from the Land-O-Sand as it does from my T1 line in Sydney.

I mean, after Berli handed Mace the section of paddock which most clearly and obviously belongs to Stuka, what could he possibly have had in mind for me?

To tell you the truth, I was waiting to apply the cane to his groggishness Simon Fox because I didn't think he was finished. These grogs typically go on for pages you know, and I expected that he was perhaps just getting in the opening jab on the issue. Honestly, when is the last time you saw a grog bring up two propellor head issues like phenotyping AND DNA fingerprinting in the same sentence and just stop there?

But on to weightier issues, Bard. With your current belittlement at the hands of yet another Australian, how goes the quest to "Crush all Australians". I would think it high time you pronounce us all, as a creed, the crunchiest of all opponents!. Or, would you care for another go at me, Don Quixote?

[Stuka]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Goanna:

when is the last time you saw a grog bring up two propellor head issues like phenotyping AND DNA fingerprinting in the same sentence and just stop there?

<hr></blockquote>

Agreed, geek topics indeed.

Now, Financial Risk Management, now THERES a topic just brimming with dinner party potential. I mean, just the mention of the 'Black-Scholes theory of option pricing' is absolutely garanteed to get the young fillies flocking to oneself like.......well, bees to a honey-soaked Stuka.

[Goanna]

And now for a quick ÜberLizard Update!

SK bauhaus has managed to break Cesspool Commandment ¥§.(¼) Thou shalt not park park German assault guns in the open for six turns machine-gunning Yankee dogs when there are allied tank destroyers about.

mrspkr is about to face some serious rue-age by making predictions on casualty losses before I had expended all of my ary allotment.

Stuka is obviously still grieving over the fact that QLD has been ceded to the coffee and culture crowd of the VIC public service and hence has not returned the first turn.

And last but certainly least SK Moriarty has come up with a most entertaining (for those of you with strong stomaches) little quick battle for us to settle a score. 12,000 points a side to decide who controls two buildings, one patch of malee and a carrot patch should just about do it. He has agreed to stack the allied troops up like cordwood so that I can just shoot them where they lay to save space.

[Seanachai]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Goanna:

Ey ey, Mr. Bard sir. But begging your pardon, I am still trying to figure out exactly what Freiherr Goanna, Rittmeister von Oz und Überlizard means. And you know, bablefish doesn't work quite as fast from the Land-O-Sand as it does from my T1 line in Sydney.

I mean, after Berli handed Mace the section of paddock which most clearly and obviously belongs to Stuka, what could he possibly have had in mind for me?

To tell you the truth, I was waiting to apply the cane to his groggishness Simon Fox because I didn't think he was finished. These grogs typically go on for pages you know, and I expected that he was perhaps just getting in the opening jab on the issue. Honestly, when is the last time you saw a grog bring up two propellor head issues like phenotyping AND DNA fingerprinting in the same sentence and just stop there?

But on to weightier issues, Bard. With your current belittlement at the hands of yet another Australian, how goes the quest to "Crush all Australians". I would think it high time you pronounce us all, as a creed, the crunchiest of all opponents!. Or, would you care for another go at me, Don Quixote?<hr></blockquote>

Now, Goanna, the Title was Berli's, and he's a good lad, with a keen discernment, but with no sense of Myth. Surprising, really, but there; after all, the Lad was Cast Out.

Now, Goanna, as all here should know, your actual title is Seniour Knight of the Cesspool, and Eldest of Australians. What this means, lad, is that, for you Aussie lot of underdeveloped Marsupials, you're the Aussie equivalent of the Olde Ones. Mind, you're not us, but you're the Marsupial equivalent. And that's not a bad go.

Eventually, of course, after innumerable internecine combats, negotiations, and the odd sing-song, you'll help us to elevate two other Aussie Bloody Idjits to the rank of "Oldest Australians", and we'll have the Eldest Australians of the Peng Challenge Thread. They won't be anywhere near as powerful, nor as endearing as the actual Olde Ones, but I imagine that we shall have to grant you your own mythology.

Mind, if Mace is one of you, your mythology will involve near non-stop bestiality. Can't you people get him into some sort of program?

As regards my temporary inability to "Crush All Australians"; send me a setup, you pillock.

Long have I desired to once again meet the Lizard King in Combat Just, and send him yipping back to his proto-mammal fellows.

[Stuka]

Hey You, UberLizard!

I sent the file around 14 hours ago to the return address on the file you sent me.

Dig the sand out of your undies and check again you scaly, Ducati riding nonce!

[OGSF]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Seanachai:

Sorry, lad, what you've got there is a strip I ripped off OGSF's Spaniel in our second to last game.

(yabber yabber yabber)

But one man had the fortitude, gall, and inebriation to arrive in this most disreputable of roistering parties, and portray himself as the Drunkard of the Peng Challenge Thread. And that is Iskander.

<hr></blockquote>

At were worth a wee collection o' mah poor wee span'ls fur, glued tae a strip o' Wal-Mart shoppin' bag, tae sae tha watery-eyed look ye gave whain mah brave cluster o' bazooka laddies blew tha' creamy snot oot o' yer stankin' tank thingy ain our last gam! *Clankety-clank* At rumbled oop o'er tha crest! Ka-beleedin'-blooey, eh?

An' as fer tha soggy tuft on a crippled ferret's inner thigh Iskander, ye may ha' managed an ignoble draw wi' haim, ye fisher o' Stuka's yabbies, boot Ah kacked tha bright yella' bile oot o' tha plonk swillin' streak o' Loch weed ain a real man's scenario - "All or Nothin'".

Pillock.

SirMacOberGruppenBloodyStompinSicFeuhrerBastardABCDJimmy

PS Speedy - mah last turrn tae ye boonced forrr a fifth teem. Pillock#2

[Berlichtingen]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Goanna:

Ey ey, Mr. Bard sir. But begging your pardon, I am still trying to figure out exactly what Freiherr Goanna, Rittmeister von Oz und Überlizard means. And you know, bablefish doesn't work quite as fast from the Land-O-Sand as it does from my T1 line in Sydney.<hr></blockquote>

Good bloody CHRIST! Goanna is showing his age when he requires a translation of OZSTRAILIAN. What part of 'von OZ' didn't you understand?

See, Peng, what we get for putting a pig ignorant Oztrailian (yeah, yeah, i know... redundent) in charge of Ozstrailians

[OGSF]

Hiram, Af'n ye oop tae at, Ah'll play ye ain a wee gam o' CM. Boot ye'll have tae taunt mae a second tam firrst!

SirMacOberGruppenBloodyStompinSicFeuhrerBastardABCDJimmy

[Berlichtingen]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Seanachai:

Now, Goanna, the Title was Berli's, and he's a good lad, with a keen discernment, but with no sense of Myth. Surprising, really, but there; after all, the Lad was Cast Out.

Now, Goanna, as all here should know, your actual title is Seniour Knight of the Cesspool, and Eldest of Australians.<hr></blockquote>

Sod off you bloody Anglophile! Freiherr Goanna is already top Ozzie as Rittmeister von Oz.

[Iron Chef Sakai]

ok the natives are getting restless, i think what everone needs to do is calm down and have some........SEA URCHIN ROE!!!!!!

[Goanna]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr> Speaketh the Bard:

. . . Mind, if Mace is one of you, your mythology will involve near non-stop bestiality.<hr></blockquote>

Yeah, and what’s your point? Oh, he’s “in” I can assure you if I have anything to do with the lineup. Let’s see, we have one deranged megalomaniac (check), one vile pervert (double check), one shameless self-promoter (yup) and an insipid and petulant grog that would be banished to the end of the earth if he had not already taken up residence there voluntarily (tick). If we can just find the jaunty larrikin we will pretty much have the microcosm of Oz all sorted.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr> and furthermore . . .

As regards my temporary inability to "Crush All Australians"; send me a setup, you pillock.

Long have I desired to once again meet the Lizard King in Combat Just, and send him yipping back to his proto-mammal fellows.<hr></blockquote>

Temporary is a long time in gnome years apparently. Well, what the hell, I have a couple hundred years to spare so I should be just about able to get you to finish a game. Expect an all random computer pick of about 1000 pt directly unless I hear some preferences from you before then.

By the way, you are a delightfully nasty little man for taking those two SUPs to task on the Outer Boards on the tired old issue of flags. Thank goodness for insomnia there in the frozen wastelands or I would actually have to be working today.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr> Stuka quipped:

I sent the file around 14 hours ago to the return address on the file you sent me.

Dig the sand out of your undies and check again you scaly, Ducati riding nonce!<hr></blockquote>

Ah, well therein lies our problem, you see. Had you actually participated in the Yemen Gran Prix back in your riding days, you would be well aware of the fact that we are roughly 4 millenia behind you and files take much longer to appear here if they in fact arrive at all. Once more into the breech lad, and put bells on it this time if you would.

Also, for your information, pouring sand down the back of ones undies is in fact a recognised ASTM field method for the classification of coarse and fine grain sands, so I’ll have you stop that sniggering if you don’t mind.

[Joe Shaw]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Now, Goanna, as all here should know, your actual title is Seniour Knight of the Cesspool, and Eldest of Australians. What this means, lad, is that, for you Aussie lot of underdeveloped Marsupials, you're the Aussie equivalent of the Olde Ones. Mind, you're not us, but you're the Marsupial equivalent. And that's not a bad go. <hr></blockquote> Note, however, that while you are the Equivilant of the Olde Ones ... you are NOT an Olde One and therefore ... I outrank you ... neener neener neener!

Joe

[Goanna]

Mr. Shaw your rankness was never in question, I assure you.

[Seanachai]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Iron Chef Sakai:

ok the natives are getting restless, i think what everone needs to do is calm down and have some........SEA URCHIN ROE!!!!!!<hr></blockquote>

A Disabled Christ Without Benefit of Crutches, Crawling Towards Bethlehem, but you're useless.

You've posted innumerable idiocies here without the slightest goddamn clue as to how to be other than a Useless Goddman Pillock, but now, little lad, I'm here to show you the way home.

I've found your age on the thread where such stuff has been posted, and I've read your posts, each and every one, which were almost completely useless. I'd grant you the benefit, laddie, if your stated age weren't twice your apparent age. You post like you're 12, but claim to be 24. No mercy for a goddamn 24 year old idjit. Post like a man, or begone.

Now, in the interest of preserving you from the utter, incontrovertible, and apparent fact that you're a bloody half-wit, I suggest you either post like you've some ability, or piss off.

I post this as your friend, because you're not winning any friends here, and I've yet to find a post on the Outer Boards where you didn't sound like a goddamn idiot.

Post something large, something expansive. Post like a man with something significant to say, or shut up.

Otherwise, tell us what shade of pastel you'd like used for your epitaph. Right now, you're working on Urine Yellow.

[Berlichtingen]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Iron Chef Sakai:

ok the natives are getting restless, i think what everone needs to do is calm down and have some........SEA URCHIN ROE!!!!!!<hr></blockquote>

I have a better idea. How about we spill the entrails of an SSN on the ground and feed them to the dogs?

[Iron Chef Sakai]

Seachai, it sounds like someone needs some midol, and i'll give you a hint, it's not your inflata-mate.

ok so let me get this straight, you combed the whole forum and checked every single one of my 300+ posts? and then you go on to say i'm not making any friends? well you may be true, but it looks like i've found an obsessive fan instead.

instead of stalking the fourm, mabe you should go back to your crossword puzzles, and regis in the morning show.

since you want to bring up dates of birth, i would'nt doubt if your age has been posted more then once by that robust weatherman on goodmorning america. don't get all upset cause todays youth is not familliar with all the names and writers of such hits like good morning america, and rise and shine with regis and random annoying co-host.

oh and as far as being crutchless, i think you got all senile and confused, you meant to say that you were crotchless and not even the double dosage of viagra your taking is helping right?

so i have a solution for us all, why don't you go back to walking up hill both ways braving the harsh elements to make it to one of your local reataurent to complain about the soup being warm and the crackers to hard for your dentures.

[Goanna]

Simply because some brainless little twat is able to knock off 300-odd (and I do mean odd) posts that sound as if he has been off his ritalin a few days too long, this does not in fact mean he has anything of value to contribute. A random and completely unscientific survey of his posts reveals that the vast majority of his "contributions" could have been avoided had any level of search been applied, or that neglected primary education been attempted again. If there is one thing I just can't abide, it's seeing an Olde One waste their time on someone with no grasp of sentence structure, grammar, spelling or punctuation. It's like watching Beavis attempt to give Shakespeare a right good dressing down in the Globe. Pathetic.

I don't remember anyone calling for a new piss boy, do you? So for now, I say throw the [ignore] switch until his attention span kicks in.

[Iron Chef Sakai]

an "ignore switch" huh? where is that? located just above your "i'm a grammar professor switch"?

or wait, do you have one of those new fangled "light switches" as well? your starting to sound like Mr. Burns from the simpsons.

[Seanachai]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Iron Chef Sakai:

Seachai, it sounds like someone needs some midol, and i'll give you a hint, it's not your inflata-mate.

ok so let me get this straight, you combed the whole forum and checked every single one of my 300+ posts? and then you go on to say i'm not making any friends? well you may be true, but it looks like i've found an obsessive fan instead.

instead of stalking the fourm, mabe you should go back to your crossword puzzles, and regis in the morning show.

since you want to bring up dates of birth, i would'nt doubt if your age has been posted more then once by that robust weatherman on goodmorning america. don't get all upset cause todays youth is not familliar with all the names and writers of such hits like good morning america, and rise and shine with regis and random annoying co-host.

oh and as far as being crutchless, i think you got all senile and confused, you meant to say that you were crotchless and not even the double dosage of viagra your taking is helping right?

so i have a solution for us all, why don't you go back to walking up hill both ways braving the harsh elements to make it to one of your local reataurent to complain about the soup being warm and the crackers to hard for your dentures.<hr></blockquote>

I have read your reasoned approach, and your reply to my requests for you to show some manhood and ability.

I will let your statement stand for itself. I will not analyze or attack it, as I cannot imagine that anyone of any wit or discernment won't perceive it for what it is. I gave you an opening to show us what you could be. You remained what you are.

Now, then, in the fine old tradition of the Peng Challenge Thread, and with all attention to detail, just let me wish you a lusty Sod Off!

I have always been one of the most welcoming of the Olde Ones to New Arrivals. But you bore me, and have nothing to contribute. I would refrain from pointing out that participation in the rapturously new 'medium' of the Internet and World Wide Web doesn't free intelligent and thinking individuals from the need to use written language in some sort of intelligible way, but in your case I feel the need to make an exception.

If you can't find the shift key to capitilize words, look at your keyboard more closely. If you can't be bothered to use something approaching correct grammar, I take joy in your future as someone who's spent hours learning off by heart the phrase 'do you want fries with that?'

Hundreds of years to create a written and spoken language of power and beauty, with a literature that can entrance the soul. Reduced to so much undifferentiated and spiritless diarhea in the hands of someone who will not take the time to think, speak well, nor write correctly in his native tongue. You are a shame to the Great Spirits of the English language. Laugh, mock, and disparage, and

make the usual comments regarding 'but I don't care about that stuff, dude', so that we can ignore your useless little arse.

To quote Cyrano, who knew the glory of language without that glory being the English language, "And of letters? You need but three to write you down. A-s-s."

Now, if you cannot write something that will amuse and entertain, begone. I've grown tired of you.

Now, who will not, in the wake of this idiot, speak better of AussieJeff, and grant him at least the benefit of Serf?

[Iron Chef Sakai]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Seanachai:

I take joy in your future as someone who's spent hours learning off by heart the phrase 'do you want fries with that?'

<hr></blockquote> you seem realy nice, so i take it your some kind of scientist? famous poet?,inventor? leader? whats that?? no?? you mean you have'nt done any of these, so your more important then who again?

[Goanna]

I say a resounding NAY, Bard. Lest the granting of serfdom become an excersize in least common denominators where the latest cro-magnon to score a trifecta in the misuse of language, humour and intellegence be placed at the bottom and thereby drive those only slightly less contemptible up to a level which requires regular discourse with them.

Rather, I believe Berli had what now seems a reasonable alternative involving a dog.

[Geier]

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Herr Oberst:

Dammit Geier. I'd expect better behavior from a SK such as yourself.

You've gone and left the door open and now we have street vendors wandering around the 'pool...<hr></blockquote>

As long as you don't actually buy anything off them I fail to see the harm. And I never fail to see harm done, of that I can assure you.

Since I have the super-power to automatically skip all useless posts from useless twits I have to take your word for their idiocy. Mind you, I'd much rather take your head for it, but for now, words will have to suffice.

In fact, I believe if we could persuade some of the useless pillockses to consume those ... things for sale onna stick or inna bun we (at least I) would be all the better for it.

The real problem with cockroacheses is that no one is willing to pay the proper amount for having them removed and so they usually resort to sic'ing St. Bauhaus or Brother Mace on them. Amusing (times being what they are), but ineffective.

Sod off,

Johan

[AUSSIEJEFF]

............sputter......crackle ........ fzzzt!! (transmission starts)

"Wha...?? What happened? Sheesh ........ that was one WEIRD dream I had! Must have been that strange green goo that Uncle Jack injected coz' I was feeling a leetle depressed over the state of my ongoing SLAUGHTERFEST battle with NOBA. Phew! I feel MUCH better now though. The guys at the 'pool will be really, REALLY glad that it was all JUST A DREAM that I had carked it ....... heh heh! Lucky for them I guess...... Oh well, better check the e-mail ......

Hey! What's this?? An e-mail with attachment from Herr Oberst! It says - "Here's a nice little scenario for you to try out - you fleabitten, scum-sucking, pile of Floosie ****e!" Hehe ........ thanks, Mr Oberst ....... you are a real nice guy and a close pal! I like your touch of erudite class. Ok, I'll just click on the attachment and ....... "PING"!!!

Huh?? What now...?? A ruddy [horror]VIRUS[/horror] or what????? The screen just flashed hot pink and returned to....... normal? ........ hmmmmmmmm, I wonder....??

Oh well, what to post at my favorite stinking meeting place?? Errk??? My keyboard has suddenly gone all crazy .... HEY! When I press the 'L' key it comes up with 'L' and when I press the 'R' key it comes up with 'R'! WOW - now that IS weild!!! Hope I'm not on anothel one of those tlips........ uh oh ..... hish ish geing wolse now ....... he damn '' is missing!! Oh no ...... now he "CH" key comes up as "CH" and he ch's appeal as 'J'!! Damn i! Broody Hell Obels - nohing fol i bu o pless on dea leadels.....

Ligh, realned genlemens..... prease accep my aporogies fol no posing ovel he pas few days. I have been vely busy ossing rovery sprody bis arr ovel a nasy CM map inhabied by he ledoubabre pseudoSelf NOBA - and rikewise he in my dilecion. Afte hining he had ovellun my Klau scum, he has discoveled my cache of Ubelweapons!! Muhahaha...... mole o come hele ...... in good ime.

I mus say I was mos preased o rose o yon Squile HANNS at he Bare of Jabo - I learise i would have been mos inapplopliae o bea him senseress whire I go boh hands ied behind my back!! I, Frossie Cheff am ploud of my ross!! So hele... BW HANNS, Uncle Chack is sending a pack of his pirrs fol you o ly a youl UBELDANCENCRUB! Hope you rike hem!!

Daln i Hell Obels!! His is vely confusing!! sigh ....... can you chump o i and send he fix plono???

OK ...... ow o business - any of you chorry japs who wourd rike o boo my bu prease send youl seup ASAP. Do you dale, Seanaji?? I need a ligh lashing lear bad!! Any ord bare wirr do!

Youls [gasp]lury[/gasp],

AussieCheff

spluer........fzzz.....it.......zittt!!!! (lansmission ends)

[Hoolay!! No ediing his ime!!]

[imported_Hiram Sedai]

How the SSN’s scurry about the kitchen floor when you turn the lights on. I’d love to do some stomping soon. So very tempting. There was a time when I would get a bellyful of beer & bitterness and then find a target to unleash my ire upon. Those were the days. Now, I sit at work not really working and can’t remember most of what I used to type. It was another mortgage company and I was a different person then. I was wide eyed and innocent then. Can anyone remember when I was a squire to someone? I think I had fun then. Now, it seems that I’m a prodigal knight of obviously junior status.

Game Updates I’m getting back into the swing of things and am playing nobody often. Its me versus the AI and I won’t say who is winning although one of us is a gamey bastige and its name starts with an “A” and ends with an “I”. My days are back to thinking about CM and how I want to do this or that. When I hold my meetings with my people, I am so tempted to share some CM wisdom with them.

OGSF May I call you James? Well, James I thank you for mentioning me and I don’t think I’ll taunt and/or challenge you at the moment. My time is not my own. Every nanosecond of my free time is scheduled by the one with the uterus. It is She who is running Christmas and it’s my credit card that will suffer mightily.

I close this grouping of inane blatherings with the knowledge that my words are falling upon deaf ears once more. I know that the powers that be only read the bold portions of posts and usually scroll down past one of my posts to see what the next person is doing. Please remember that I still abhor so many of you with a passion. The combination of ire, angst, and abject injustice should do nicely this holiday season.