Lawyer Posted March 13, 2001 Share Posted March 13, 2001 Originally posted by Hamsters: Lawyer Is a git like never a git before was gitted. Almost as bad as PeterNZer but without the stupid, stupid name. In the immortal words of Bruce Campbell, come get some. This insult is an insult! The bulk mail coupon packs I receive are more personal and much more persuasive in taunting me to waste my time and money. Is this lazy, sugar-coated rodent wannabe named Hamsters the kinder, gentler version of the once feared Meeks? The Meeks who could spout bile and vile in embarrassing streams of misused words that deserved better fates?? The Meeks who got horny and caused his own "pollution spill" just reading "Plankton Spawning in Antarctica"?? The Meeks who thinks chewing gum is a foolish extravagance in a nation with so many tasty "previously owned" condoms? I knew a Real Hamster, Sir, and YOU are no Hamster! (RIP Jenny, 1999-1999) But you do exhibit the same fascination with licking your own behind, hiding in a pile of wood shavings soaked with your expended bodily fluids, and ultimately chewing your own leg off to escape the boredom of another go-around on the wheel thingy. To begin with, I am not a "git", I am a "got a lot" in all matters of importance, whereas you are merely a "wanna git" regarding money, sex, looks, and all the pleasures of worldly life. To mention the Lawyer in the same line as Petey Poo NZer is simply bulk taunting for the sheer sake of doing it, much like that lurid "zipper dance" you do with Mr. Happy. To insult me as an afterthought at the end of a long line of Documented Pool Gits is inexcusable in Pool-itically Correct Society. I would mention that you are infested with HEADLICE, but you will think that means you got promoted. I could say that you smell like Yasser Arafat's armpit on a hot Judean afternoon, but you will just fantasize over the thrill of rubbing wet lips and kissing him cheek to cheek. So, I will just tell you to bring back the original uncensored Meeks, whose untamed rants made psycho-babble history in these parts. The Lawyer's time is quite valuable, Fey Gitster. Only a select few are able to feel the sharp sting of his battlefield excellence at any one time. You have done NOTHING yet to deserve such honor. However, I shall note your smelly supplication (no, your suppository is the other thing that you sniff) for consideration at a later date. Till then, you may dream... ------------------ There are good reasons why the movie was called "Patton" rather than "Hodges". [This message has been edited by Lawyer (edited 03-13-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hamsters Posted March 13, 2001 Share Posted March 13, 2001 Originally posted by Lawyer: Puerile trash. You insult us, sir, and you do it in a remarkably boring way, yourself. Just look at our austere, Buddhist insult and compare it to your mid-90s era clunker. You insult our smell, our social position, and our sexual practices, ha and double ha! In the immortal words of Gandalf, Fool of a Took, throw yourself in next time. Our smell may as well be reprehensible, you imbecile. our smell could very well have rendered the whole of the Arctic impotent. It may very well have caused significant damage to the ozone layer and to the sensibilities of the much contested Latino vote. Guess what, that doesn't mean jack squat here. Yep, we could smell like the rotted, festering carcass of Bauhaus and it don't matter. Our social position? Ha and ha again, you fool. We may as well be destitute hamsters of the streets, chewing a used prophylactic and making money by selling ourselves to syphilitic ape-men. We can by day be that one-legged mongoloid dip**** that you refuse to spare a nickel to and by night that smooth-talking man-whore that you can't help but shower money on but that doesn't matter, either. Finally, you take a jab at our sex life. Our sex life?!?! What the holy hell does sex have to do with our interactions, you horseless woman? Do we chase after the same women or boys or svelte wombats? No. You don't live anywhere near us. Could we interact in any kind of social manner that involved the acquisition of poontang? No, you leprous boob, because, get this, we only interact via the Internet. Yes, you inconsequential lapdog of society's base need to humiliate itself, how we look, what we have, who we are is wholly insignificant, just like your insults that latch on to such things. Except. Except, you jiggling, jaundiced, jabberwocke, except for how creative we are. How intelligent are our insults, how thick are our skins, how sharpened are our hate. You flail about, trying so desperately to regain your youth by acting like the strutting peacock but youth was not about showing off. You sniff and snuff and huff and puff, trying to act the elder statesmen but fail to realize that wisdom is not cynicism. Competence, sir, is all that we ask here. Be your taunt one line or a thousand, make sure it is well made. Descriptive but not pedantic, barbed but not barbarous, pithy but not dull. Your only true use here is as a foil for the brighter among us, some pitch to throw on the fire. You cannot grasp why we are wholly superior to you and it causes you to rut even louder. To which we make this offer, to teach you, on the field of battle, a minor lesson in life and justice and the world. You are free to pay attention or not for a teacher cares not if his student learns but rather only that he has learned himself from the teaching. In educating you, we become smarter and though you cannot hope to keep up, perhaps it will help you with your pathetic taunts. I await the setup. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hamsters Posted March 13, 2001 Share Posted March 13, 2001 Bur dur dee dur!!!!!! Let it be known that we are interested in starting a huge operation with one or another member of the Pool. Let it be known that said member will be beaten quite severely. Let it be known that the operation in question is not known and any suggestions will be valuable. Bur dur dee dur!!!!!!! [This message has been edited by Hamsters (edited 03-13-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Croda Posted March 13, 2001 Share Posted March 13, 2001 Let it be known that the Hamsters will go into hibernation halfway through the match and when they come back they will be sans password, sans virginity, and sans recollection of the half completed massive operation. Enter at your own risk. Come play Crodaburg with me you furry sunuvabich Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hamsters Posted March 13, 2001 Share Posted March 13, 2001 Send me the setup you gamey maneuovrista! I still desire to take part in an operation, however. Perhaps some fine scenario designer could turn Crodaburg into and EPIC OPERATION!!! Come on guys, for me? [This message has been edited by Hamsters (edited 03-13-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bauhaus Posted March 13, 2001 Share Posted March 13, 2001 Originally posted by Iskander: YEEEAAARRGH! Once again I am skewered (ironic, we being in Sweden and that word's origin scandanavian...) by your mallet-like wit! Oh, Great Sir! I most humbly, humbly! beseech your pardon! After all, be it far from me -- an ignoble crackhead -- to disdain or impugne those motives and actions to which those who sacrifice upon the Altar of PENG have so far previously attributed to you! Let it be cried a-loud to all that one and low find you and your staturesque mien to be competely not unmeaningless! Bauhaus! Thou art the Man! Let obsequies of your honor be trotted throughout the Holy Mother Pool! Lamantations cried! Ave! Ave, Bauhaus! Were he not here now would he then be here no longer! Sounds like you've finally come to your senses. Now, sod off St. Crackethheadeth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted March 13, 2001 Share Posted March 13, 2001 Originally posted by mensch: damn anyone know how to get hold of this pussy cat? I thought you got hold of them by the scruff of the neck? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Priest Posted March 13, 2001 Share Posted March 13, 2001 That too rough you need to be gentle. Hammie where is my turn you malignant tumor of a rodent I still have a Dailmer to kill. ------------------ Sir are you sure you want to go to red alert...it would mean changing the bulb -Kryton of Red Dwarf Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DekeFentle Posted March 14, 2001 Share Posted March 14, 2001 Originally posted by Hamsters: Extensive jeremiad directed at Lawyer ROTFLMAO Hamsters you carping rodent of reprehensible colloquiums. I didn't think you had it in your collective conscience to deliver such pithy prose. You owe me a turn BTW, that is assuming there was finally a file attached to my last sending. Scurry along now. Mace I believe a fortnight has come and gone. I remind you of your alcohol-induced acceptance to meet me on the battlefield. Would it be better for you if I through something together? When the Whuppin' boy speaks, gather round and hearken well. Pain is humanities most eloquent mentor. [This message has been edited by DekeFentle (edited 03-13-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hamsters Posted March 14, 2001 Share Posted March 14, 2001 Are you people daft?!?! Both of you limey gits owe US a turn. Yeegods, look what we have to work with! Lorak, scribe it thusly: Mensch: Total Topplement Meeks: VicTORY!! Mensch: Draw, due to his fear of my AVRE. Meeks: Draw, due to Mensch's treachery. [This message has been edited by Hamsters (edited 03-13-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Priest Posted March 14, 2001 Share Posted March 14, 2001 Hammie do not try to use feeble Jedi mind tricks on us. I sent you a turn you dasdardly hamster and i expect return. Now mail the flippin turn already. ------------------ Sir are you sure you want to go to red alert...it would mean changing the bulb -Kryton of Red Dwarf Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lorak Posted March 14, 2001 Share Posted March 14, 2001 Ahh, Another small tome update. jd-win meeks-loss Seanachai-win Berli-lost mensch-loss Meeks-win Gamey updates for you gents. Iskander... Gamey twit is hiding his AFV's from my guns. Moriarty... This scenario...while fun. Is a gamey crap hole. Berli sucks. GiTom... is still shooting my guys, and has resorted to the time tested gamey tactic of artillery. Priest.. while not really a pool member he has been speaking of our battle. So for the result. We got tired of playing hit and run. So we both just ran at each other in a calvary charge(on foot) and just started shooting. Eventualy One of us had to withdrawl.....wasn't me. Oh....and god how I love Panzershrecks! Now Die a lot now. Lorak the loathed ------------------ "Do not wait to strike till the iron is hot; but make it hot by striking."--William Butler Yeats Cesspool Combatmissionclub and for Kitty's sake =^..^= Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Priest Posted March 14, 2001 Share Posted March 14, 2001 Hmmmm. Lorak is right on the fact that I withdrew (from the smell?). But I did capture that oh so nice vineyard and while you my loathed opponent are eating dust and dirt (not to mention bark and horrible rations) in the cold dark rain, I am sipping wine relaxing in an estate. The rest of my guys are in hotels eating warm food and the only place for you to go is farther back towards more of my friends. So yes I withdrew Oh Lorak but I withdrew to luxury while you struggled and clawed for an ever shrinking piece of land (remember I did get south of the road and held). But hey since it is dirt it will make a great grave site. Here Lies Lorak the Loser May he rest in Cess ------------------ Sir are you sure you want to go to red alert...it would mean changing the bulb -Kryton of Red Dwarf [This message has been edited by Priest (edited 03-13-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lorak Posted March 14, 2001 Share Posted March 14, 2001 Ahh Priest... We shall see. Personaly I don't see one tank surrounded by german infantry as holding ground. In reality he most likey would be racing back to the village. Considering he just watched all his platoon mates die a horible shrecking death. We shall see though. We shall see. It was a really good game though. One I did enjoy. As for the outcome.... Me or you winning. I think at best it is in serious doubt. Only God knows. Lorak ------------------ "Do not wait to strike till the iron is hot; but make it hot by striking."--William Butler Yeats Cesspool Combatmissionclub and for Kitty's sake =^..^= Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Priest Posted March 14, 2001 Share Posted March 14, 2001 I doubt a clear winner can be drawn. But Oh Lorak your estimation of forces relaxing with me is woefully inadequate. Remember just because you did not see it does not mean it is not there. And not all of his squad mates died by the way. It is a big family and he has friends very very near. But it was a great game and one that unluckly will not get much run. Too Bad. Well no matter what everyone else says Lorak you are not totally deplorable ------------------ Sir are you sure you want to go to red alert...it would mean changing the bulb -Kryton of Red Dwarf Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hamsters Posted March 14, 2001 Share Posted March 14, 2001 Originally posted by Priest: ...your estimation of forces relaxing with me is woefully inadequate. Remember just because you did not see it does not mean it is not there. And not all of his squad mates died by the way. It is a big family and he has friends very very near... Stop talking like that, you're wracking our little rodentia minds with pain. By the gods man, don't you understand how terribly stupid you sound? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Priest Posted March 14, 2001 Share Posted March 14, 2001 I am not the one admitting that I have a mind like a rodent! ------------------ Sir are you sure you want to go to red alert...it would mean changing the bulb -Kryton of Red Dwarf Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted March 14, 2001 Share Posted March 14, 2001 Originally posted by DekeFentle: Mace I believe a fortnight has come and gone. I remind you of your alcohol-induced acceptance to meet me on the battlefield. Would it be better for you if I through something together? Lorak, Priest, please excuse me if I interupt your discussion! Dekey, ya, send me a email so that terms can be discussed. Check my profile for all the relevant information, and don't forget the sheep outfit. Mace Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuka Posted March 14, 2001 Share Posted March 14, 2001 Oh no! Maceys on about his sheep fixation again.. Which reminds me, who wants to hear about my thingey? I've given it a rest for awhile now and I do beleive it is time for the "Nude Skydiver" to make an appearance. WOOooOowowowoooooooooo! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted March 14, 2001 Share Posted March 14, 2001 For those you feel the need to partake of a Grog thread, head on over to: http://www.battlefront.com/discuss/Forum1/HTML/017323.html Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lawyer Posted March 14, 2001 Share Posted March 14, 2001 Lorak!! Quit wafflin' wit yer new canon pal, and record my victory over Babra last Friday! Jeeez, these are hard won tokens of esteem, and Lorak just sits there chewin' cud. I got a whole 'nuther bunch of twits to beat, so let's move along in line if you please. Damned no good gub'ment workers. ------------------ There are good reasons why the movie was called "Patton" rather than "Hodges". [This message has been edited by Lawyer (edited 03-13-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFCElvis Posted March 14, 2001 Share Posted March 14, 2001 Why does Mace continue to post here when he has owed me a file for days. For anyone who cares (I assume no one) here are a couple updates. I start with chrisl because we are playing a real humdinger. I think I have hand on him but it is the kind of game that can change at any momment. Mark47 and I are playing a bit of rune evilness that looks like he has no idea of what he is doing. Proving to me what I have believed all along that he is a waterhead with no skill or creativity. Seanachhhhiosdgsknagg, hedgerows aren't his bag baby. Joanna is once agin sending fine green men to their death. That should appear on your tombstone man "at least I killed a lot of Germans" (he is the German player in our game). No one else I'm playing has sent me turns recently enough to rememeber what the hell is going on. OK, boring and weak taunts but whatever. Piss off wankers. ------------------ "When they finally put you in the ground..I'll stand on your grave and tramp the dirt down" Elvis Costello Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hamsters Posted March 14, 2001 Share Posted March 14, 2001 Somewhere on the Western Front, a small but scrappy band of infantry, holed up in the Most Holy Church of God, discuss their choices. Young Obersturmführer with a five o'clock shadow: Vell boys, ve cannot stand against zem, zere are too many unt zeir commander ist Elvis. Buffed and grizzled Unterscharführer: Ze Elvis?! Ze King of Rock! Obersturmführer: No, not zat Elvis, ze Cesspool one. Obergrenadier #1: Still, ist bad enough, zer is no hope, ve are outnumbered 2 to 1. Obergrenadier #2: Our guns are destroyed! Obergrenadier #3: Our bunkers are breached! Obergrenadier #2: They'll steal our souls!!! Obersturmführer: Zen it ist settled, ve vill retreat. Ze Hauptman ist dead, I vill signal a general- Suddenly the doors slam open! Bruce Campbell: So that's it, eh, you're gonna run. Well run away! But I'm gonna stay and fight these limey bastards! Obersturmführer: Are all men from the future loudmouthed braggarts like yourself? Bruce Campbell: Just me, baby, just me. Obergrenadier #2: But ve are just 50 men, low on ammo and surrounded! Bruce Campbell: That's ok, I brought help. Conan the Barbarian: Ja, like me. Obersturmführer: Conan! What follows is, quite possibly, the finest show of infantry actions since a small battle involving John Wayne, Sam Peckinpah, Gen. Geo. S. Patton and others. What can be made out are cries of, "Oh my, I seem to be shot." and "Now we'll surely miss tea time, lads." Conan (Sinking his greatsword in the last British soldier, long dead but for good measure): Ja, now ve must get drunk! Bruce Campbell: Hey Lorak, do us a favor and scribe this major topplement. Hail to the king, baby, hail to the king. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisl Posted March 14, 2001 Share Posted March 14, 2001 Originally posted by Elvis: I start with chrisl because we are playing a real humdinger. I think I have hand on him but it is the kind of game that can change at any momment. And it's now all over but the last bit of dying. BTS did somefink to make the Panther armor impenetrable to anything less than 14". Wankers. I hate Rune, except for what he's letting me do to morse (not now bauhaus. Sit down!). ------------------ "If you can taste the difference between caviar on a cracker and ketchup on a Kit-Kat while blindfolded, you have not had enough aquavit to be ready for lutefisk." (stolen from some web page about lutefisk) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted March 14, 2001 Share Posted March 14, 2001 Originally posted by Elvis: Why does Mace continue to post here when he has owed me a file for days. I owe you? I OWE YOU?!!! I sent my return file out late last week and given a lack of response from you I was under the impression that you were being damned unsociable (rather than generally unsociable, like you are now). However, being the top-aussie bloke that I am, I shall resend it on my return home. Mace Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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