Bugger Peng Let's Have A Real Challenge Then!

[Lars]

A Knigget!!! at last!. Gentlewryms and Dame of the Pool, I am duly whelmed. A ***BOOT*** all around to the Squires, Serfs, Pissboys, and, what the hey, even the SSN’s. In fact, a extra ***BOOT*** for the SSN’s, I’m in a charitable mood.

For my Knightly Coat of Arms, I’ll take a JagdPanther (did you know they’re a superweapon?) boresighted upon the nether regions of a bent over SSN with Running Machineguns rampant overhead on a field of undermodeled Gamey Yellow.

I’d like to thank my Liege, Shaw, for helping me to truly understand what gamey is. I couldn’t have done it without you Sire, you’re the best! {sniff, sniff, snort, somebody pass a snot rag, I think I’m going to cry}.

Wow, five games, the time does drag when you had to play the following pillocks, I couldn’t have done it without you idjits either. Your ticking gifts are in the mail, wrapped in blue.

Panzerleader – My favorite Win, defending against the assault as Allies.

Iskander – Win, but my battle scarred liver lost.

Stalins Organ – Twice, one Win, one Draw.

panzerwerfer42 – Oscar for best movie, a Win of course.

And two that bravely ran away, Geier and Juardis.

Current Game Updates:

Stalin’s Organ – Inside the wire of ”Crodaburg”, he’ll probably win this one, unless more gamey reinforcements show up.

CMplayer – Advancing nicely in the “Scenario with No Suprises” (thanks, MrSpkr), We’re about to see if a 20mm can get a penetration against the side of a Sherman turret, because evidently it can’t against the rear.

Buzzsaw – Out to lunch, just like his troops who are still trying to get organized for the assault on ”Crodaburg”.

And Dalem, since you decided Downtown was the place to settle (Why? Didn’t have cab fare to go any further?), try The Uptown Café (great breakfast, Bloody Mary’s) and Chino Latino’s (Key Lime Martini’s for after-breakfast dessert and to put a nice glow on the rest of the day, handily located across the street). In fact, I think I’ll head there tonight for sake, I feel like celebrating.

[ 10-02-2001: Message edited by: Lars ]

[Lars]

Damn, I was so excited, I double posted.

Now I have to go and change my armor.

[ 10-02-2001: Message edited by: Lars ]

[dalem]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Lars:

And Dalem, since you decided Downtown was the place to settle (Why? Didn’t have cab fare to go any further?), try The Uptown Café (great breakfast, Bloody Mary’s) and Chino Latino’s (Key Lime Martini’s for after-breakfast dessert and to put a nice glow on the rest of the day, handily located across the street). In fact, I think I’ll head there tonight for sake, I feel like celebrating.

[ 10-02-2001: Message edited by: Lars ]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Hmm. I have been sampling downtown, but I don't live there. I think I live near Fridley but not *in* Fridley. It's all so difficult when I'm only let out of my friends' basement for a few minutes each day, and usually not when it's light out. This seems like a nice area though.

[Berlichtingen]

Ok, how many of you useless bastards live in the Miniappleless area? Against my better judgement, I am planning a trip (sans LSD) to your vile city.

[Slapdragon]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Berlichtingen:

Ok, how many of you useless bastards live in the Miniappleless area? Against my better judgement, I am planning a trip (sans LSD) to your vile city.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I worked in St. Paul, Des Moines, St. Cloud, and Duluth before, however I am no where near, not that I would meet you in a nice clean city like that. I think of you more as belonging in an urban jungle over top of a Ford POS getting punked by two guys named Gus and Gerald, and not on the clean streets of that fine town.

Now that said, if you do come to the urban jungles of the south, after you are done getting punked by Gus and Gerald, give me a call and we will get a beer.

[Lars]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Berlichtingen:

Ok, how many of you useless bastards live in the Miniappleless area? Against my better judgement, I am planning a trip (sans LSD) to your vile city.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Better bring the LSD, and warm clothing, the weather changes tonight.

[Roborat]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Herr Oberst:

Ack! Poolers! Have we erred?!? A Sally Fields moment? Is the Roborat a Robowimp? Are we soon to be putting up with a sniveling, teary-eyed pseudo-Kannigget?

You sir, disgust me. However low. However miserably buried in the muck at the bottom of the 'Pool, we do have our standards. The next thing you know, this pansied Kannigget will start listening to Streisand albums and watching reruns of Funny Girl, The Main Event, and Yentl.

If that is how you feel, then go get teary-eyed with Sally Struthers on PBS, and stay the hell away from the Cesspool...

In the words of the ancient Romans... YOV SVCK

[ 10-02-2001: Message edited by: Herr Oberst ]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Well, if you can't understand basic humour(a little subtle, I will admit, but most everybody else here seemed to get it), a Saturday Night Live touchback, and a garnish of sarcasm, I would suggest that you have no place in this fair pool

(smiley added just to piss you off).

And just so you know, my attack poodles are programmed to attack anything "Streisand" on sight (also smell, sound or thought).

[dalem]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Berlichtingen:

Ok, how many of you useless bastards live in the Miniappleless area? Against my better judgement, I am planning a trip (sans LSD) to your vile city.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

So far Lars and Seanachai have made fun of me so I think it's at least three.

[Joe Shaw]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Posted by Sir Lars ...{sniff}: I’d like to thank my Liege, Shaw, for helping me to truly understand what

gamey is. I couldn’t have done it without you Sire, you’re the best! {sniff, sniff, snort, somebody pass a snot rag, I think I’m going to cry}.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> {sniffle} Aye lad, excuse me, Sir Lars, it's a proud day but, of course, a sad one as well. It's never easy to take a bright eyed, naive and untutored lad to Squire and watch them grow into a steely eyed, clever and educated Knight, but it is worth the pain. I trust that the Justicariate of the Peng Challenge Thread can still count on you for assistance with the charcoal braziers? No one get's the coals to that cherry red glow like you do.

Congratulations Sir Lars, I know that ...{sniff} ... that you'll be a credit ... {sob} ... to the CessPool ... excuse me, {sob} ... I have to ... go ... change my socks or something.

Joe

[mensch]

Right you lot.. Imma out of here™ you can all rot while I'm soaking up the sun for a week. And when I'm gone somebody take care of this cockroach problem!!

all the worst

Menschy

[Speedbump]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Slapdragon:

You are lucky it did not burp and send you all 37 gigabytes of my wedding videos, or all 12 gigabytes of my porn collection.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Anyone with this ratio of wedding to Porn doesn't deserve to be a cespudlian...

Speedbump

[MrSpkr]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Speedbump:

Anyone with this ratio of wedding to Porn doesn't deserve to be a cespudlian...

Speedbump<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

What I can't understand is how he got Peng to be a bitch in his wedding videos.

[Iskander]

From a deep somnambulance I have arose: awoken by wars, rumors of wars and that the liquor cabinet was starting to get empty. September was a blur: from the stunning visions through my mask at the corals of Grand Cayman to the azure beauty of the Caribbean Sea through the bottom of a Highball glass and thence to the glass lens of the television showing all at once the worst and best of Man.

That last one took me back to the Highball glass.

And there I have stewed for some time. Some may have noted a flighty post or two on the Outer Boards and my opponents would receive turns in fits and starts, but to the Cess I could not go. While this place may be my destiny, for a time it was no longer my home.

Then, as humanity’s unflagging ability to compartmentalize once again proves itself, I began to read again from the posts of the Holy Mother Thread. Knighthoods and new Titles seem to be all the rage in this Fell Season. “For such scraps of cloth as these will my men fight all the harder.” This whole Snapdragon thing seems as suspicious as that whole Simon LeFox thing; this past summer did not do The Bard’s disposition well. Although the Lawyer seems to be performing marvelously as Consigliore, the Byzantine Disease of multiplication and duplication of Offices has led to a Justicarate; at least it is peopled by a baboon.

Even the Old Ones have gone Pop: I was shocked, shocked to see that all three of them are featured in the latest LOTR trailer. Berli, being Berli, it seems elected to play himself. How trite. I was quite pleased to see that the acting lessons have paid off in Peng’s presentation of the cave troll. And Seanachai? Pulling Gandalf’s cart was a casting coup.

What? Oh, yes: Combat Mission, the raison d’etre for all this and that. I am proving beyond a shadow of a doubt to the Cesspool and to all that it IS possible to lose to OGSF. Parking your troops and tanks in the open and then getting wildly drunk and hitting “GO” does not exactly live up to that recent epistle of Fionn’s (bolded out of respect for anyone that could type about so little for so long), but it is about the only thing that keeps him moving more than at a snail’s pace.

For a slice of the best with the worst, I continue to grapple with The Bard in a Berli/Rune masterpiece called something like “Road to Bad Gonadsburg.” Seanachai has learned that with a nigh-infinite amount of HT’s, you can scout with them as much as you like. I am advancing as slowly as you’d expect OGSF to, but then I can afford to. The scenario is in fact much fun; kudos and all that to the Evil Bro’s.

I was going to say that Marlow and I grope for one another at night in the fog like two drunk 16-year olds in the back of a minivan, but that metaphor upset me so much I decided against using it.

Finally, fittingly, is the mostly-departed Panzer Leader. His computer problems dovetailed nicely with my funk, so he’s back on track getting the snot beat out of him in Three Ridge Way. I was already winning by a huge margin, then reinforcements showed up. Who’da thought? I’ve parked them safely in a corner if I need them for mop-up work.

I shall now take my drink and go sit over there in the corner of Schloss Peng and draw comfort from the thought that in less than one hundred years, you shall all be dead.

[Agua Perdido]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Lars:

Key Lime Martini<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

ARRRRGGGGHHH!!

Once again, a Martini contains (and I'm not going to Pengnumerate the list of ingredients, just so it'll be ABSOLUTELY FECKING CLEAR):

1). GIN

2). VERMOUTH

We can argue night and day about proportions and garnishes; these are Martini questions about which reasonable alcoholics can disagree. The list of ingredients, however, is NOT open to debate.

The only possible way a "Key Lime Martini" could reasonably be called "Martini" is if it's a proper Gin-and-Vermouth Martini served with a slice of Key Lime pie on the side (not as a garnish, and certainly not whipped or frapped). If it's Key Lime juice and gin (or worse, vodka), then it's a GIMLET, not a Martini. Martinis do NOT contain:

Fifth). Vodka

D). Chartreuse

~). Midori

In the Beginning). Fruit juice

750ml). Whole mangoes (except as garnishes, and that's VERRRRRY questionable)

12oz). Coffee beans or M&Ms

WD-40). Curacao of any color

John 3:18). Anything other that GIN and VERMOUTH.

How difficult is this to remember? Why must you girly-drinking newbie-kaniggets try to hide your sweetened Sheila-wallop concoctions behind the manly sobriquet of "Martini"? Go back to your blueberry daquiries, you pansy! Joe must've been alseep at the brazier when you should've been learning Cocktail Orthodoxy. You obviously require a few more applications of the -BOOT-, you Spam-snorting, fruity-magarita-drinking, Backstreet-Boys-fetishizing, over-hyphenated Johnny-dumb-lately. Send me a setup, shandy-swiller, and I'll show you what serious alcoholism does for tactics!

Agua Perdido

[Speedbump]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MrSpkr:

What I can't understand is how he got Peng to be a bitch in his wedding videos.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

That is exactly my point...okay maybe not, but it allows me to make my point. Computers are only good for 3 things:

I) Combat Mission

deux) Porn

pi) Dirty emails (okay, maybe a subset of Porn

The fact there is any wedding videos on his PC is bad, but when it outweighs the Porn, well...this is just not right. It makes me feel dirty somehow.

Speedbump

[Berlichtingen]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Agua Perdido:

The only possible way a "Key Lime Martini" could reasonably be called "Martini" is if it's a proper Gin-and-Vermouth Martini served with a slice of Key Lime pie on the side (not as a garnish, and certainly not whipped or frapped).<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Now, how about a glass filled with Gin and oh so very little vermouth with a key lime in it instead of an olive?

[Iskander]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Agua Perdido:

ARRRRGGGGHHH!!

Once again, a Martini contains (and I'm not going to Pengnumerate the list of ingredients, just so it'll be ABSOLUTELY FECKING CLEAR):

1). GIN

2). VERMOUTH

We can argue night and day about proportions and garnishes.... <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

No we WONT!

Listen to the voice of experience here, lad: a Martini must, must contain a properly brine-sodden olive (if you ask for an onion at my bar you'll get it, but with a great deal of belittling and verbal abuse).

It is in fact the tiny amount of salt in and around the olive that give a Martini it's *snap*. It would otherwise be as limp as a post by Sir Loin... er... Lars.

Note that if you are stupid enough to run out of olives (idjit!) then a tiny (I SAID TINY!) pinch of table salt will do. Add too much and you end up with a Margaritatini, which only the Antipodians could stomach.

And let this be a warning to the rest of you: now that I'm back there will be no more shoddy booze talk! Any screw-ups like this again will be punished in the most uncomfortable bauhausian manner possible!

[Slapdragon]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Agua Perdido:

ARRRRGGGGHHH!!

Once again, a Martini contains (and I'm not going to Pengnumerate the list of ingredients, just so it'll be ABSOLUTELY FECKING CLEAR):

1). GIN

2). VERMOUTH

lots of drivel cut out.

Agua Perdido<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Ok, ok, even the Peng needs a Grog, and I mean a real Grog, and not a pillow biting smurf like Simon Fox. So first lets clear some things up.

In my long and illustrious career, I have often worked part-time as a bar tender to make extra money when free-lance work was few and far between and I had no education to speak of. And in Savannah, I tended bar with a guy that was about 95 years old and who was a cornicopia of knowlegde. It was he who showed me his collection of old bar tenders books (from the 1880s, the original date I assumed he had started bar tending) and I read them like any Grog should, with an eye for detail.

Now one book, "The Modern Bartender's Guide of 1884" was very interesting. It just so happens that this book is the first recorded of a mention of a martini. The recipe was for a Martinez (Martini) and included:

Old Tom Gin

Sweet Vermouth

Maraschino Liqueur (small amount)

alternatively, Orange Curaça could be used.

The drink was mixed "sweet"

At the turn of the century several books use the names "Marquerite", "Martini", and "Martinez" interchangeable, and start to settle down on a recipe that includes orange Bitters, Plymouth Gin, and again sweet Vermouth.

The dry martini you speak of is a relatively recent invention of prohibition, where sweet vermouth was hard to get and Bitters or Curaça almost impossible. So they started using dry Vermouth in several clubs and left everything else out. The vodka Martini also originated here, as Gin was often Vodka with cleaning chemicals or iodine added (in place of French Worm Wood which the imported article had) some people just decided to leave out the gin all together and drink the martini without the risk of iodine poisoning.

Also during this time the lack of good gin led people to to make Martinis with other stuff, leading to the Manhatten or Dry Manhatten (with old fashioned country Rye), The Rob Roy and Dry Rob Roy (Scotch), and the Country Manhatten (Bourbon and Vermouth).

Some people say that the Gibson came about from the crappy Gin, so an onion would be thrown in to make the iodine palatable.

So sod off drink daisy, you remind me of someone who snorts the wine cork.

Ronin Squire Slapdragon

[Slapdragon]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MrSpkr:

What I can't understand is how he got Peng to be a bitch in his wedding videos.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

It wasn't as easy as getting Marlow to sissy for my porn videos, but when i showed him the thigh highs and the brides maid dress, Peng was on top of it.

[mensch]

PS. and I'm not coming back in here anymore.

[Speedbump]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by mensch:

PS. and I'm not coming back in here anymore.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Would this be a threat or a promise? Personally, I hope it is a promise...

Speedbump

[Slapdragon]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by mensch:

PS. and I'm not coming back in here anymore.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Like I really believe this horse droppings. nearly every non banned pinko who says tearful goodbye for abuse at the hands of their betters (for you, this of course would be everyone) sooner or later slithers back in leaving a snail trail behind them and tries to add one more curtian call. You will be here always, at least until Germanboy publically beats you again and you can no longer face the utter humiliation.

[dalem]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Slapdragon:

It wasn't as easy as getting Marlow to sissy for my porn videos, but when i showed him the thigh highs and the brides maid dress, Peng was on top of it.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Hey hey guys, if'n we're going to turn this into some Jim Holiday pornspective then why don't we just let Bauhaus out his leather hood and harness and start making Ron Jeremy jokes?

Besides SlappyD, the issue isn't that you have porn, it's that you don't have enough porn. Think about it, won't you?

[Speedbump]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by dalem:

Besides SlappyD, the issue isn't that you have porn, it's that you don't have enough porn. Think about it, won't you?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Thank you good sir. Spoken from experience, I am sure...after all, what else is there to do in Michigan or Minnesota?

Speedbump

[Slapdragon]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by dalem:

Hey hey guys, if'n we're going to turn this into some Jim Holiday pornspective then why don't we just let Bauhaus out his leather hood and harness and start making Ron Jeremy jokes?

Besides SlappyD, the issue isn't that you have porn, it's that you don't have enough porn. Think about it, won't you?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

As you have no doubt said many times Dalem, its not the size or the amount that matters, it's what you do with it that counts.

In this case though it is not just an excuse made by a you to cover up embarressment, it is reality. Quality over quantity, even on the Peng Challeng Thread.

Ronin Squire Slapdragon