CaSCa Posted November 3, 2000 Share Posted November 3, 2000 It has been a little over two months since the last patch was made available and it is evident from the number of patch update requests made lately that people are at the end of their tethers. Since the TCP/IP beta patch is still apparently some weeks away, I would like to propose a fix for those of us suffering from 'Lack of Patch Syndrome'. I propose that BTS release a 'Placebo Patch'. The release notes for this patch would state that the update would fix or upgrade things along the following lines: Improved AI during pre-1944 scenarios. Faster video memory allocation. Improved cache contention allocation. quotients Faster buffering of Z-texture globlets during high paradigm allocation periods. Fixes to undocumented and non-existent bugs. Now since all of the above are either unmeasurable or fictional, the patch in reality would only increment the game's version number. I believe, however, that the placebo effect of such a patch would be tremendous, and would likely reduce the volume of patch update requests until the kind, hardworking, and diligent folks at BTS had something new to tell us. [This message has been edited by CaSCa (edited 11-02-2000).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Rob/1 Posted November 3, 2000 Share Posted November 3, 2000 UM how is that funny? ------------------ Fight for your right!To play CM! Join Rob's CMMC today Email me at RobsCMC@hotmail.com Rob For more info on Rob;s CMMC go to Robs CMMC HQ Members of my CMMC should join my CMMC chat bord. Robs CMMC Bord Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hamstersss Posted November 3, 2000 Share Posted November 3, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Rob/1: UM how is that funny? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Rob, the post works on multiple levels: A) It is funny. It has words that are all spelled correctly. C) It is not a collection of, roughly, three dozen posts by the same person on the same thread. D) It is still funny. E) Funny, as in ha ha. Now, I would agree that the disclaimer didn't need to be included but, other than that, the Lemurian judge gives it a 5.9. ------------------ I've got far more annoying things than that up my sleeve. -Meeks You must wear awfully loose shirts to fit an oompah band up your sleeve. -Chrisl Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Compassion Posted November 3, 2000 Share Posted November 3, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Rob/1: UM how is that funny? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Oh it is... on several levels. Especially the geekier ones. Nice one, CaSCa! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
109 Gustav Posted November 3, 2000 Share Posted November 3, 2000 Shouldn't it also fix the "laser beam" easter egg? You know, the one where if you select one of your units and hit the L key, he generates a magic laser beam that will vaporize any enemy units that you select with the laser on. Also, there is another serious bug with CM. Whenever I hit the Command and Q keys at the same time, CM quits! BTS, how is this possible? ------------------ No one but the enemy will tell you what the enemy is going to do. No one but the enemy will ever teach you where you are weak. Only the enemy tells you where he is strong. And the rules of the game are what you can do to him and what you can stop him from doing to you. -Ender's Game Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pham911 Posted November 3, 2000 Share Posted November 3, 2000 Hell, I'd be happy if they just gave us the promised Russian Front patch while we're waiting for TCP/IP. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CaSCa Posted November 3, 2000 Author Share Posted November 3, 2000 The disclaimer sounds harsher than intended. Thanks to advice from the judges I shall remove it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deanco Posted November 3, 2000 Share Posted November 3, 2000 Faster buffering of Z-texture globlets during high paradigm allocation periods!! I've been wondering when BTS was gonna fix this!! I mean, really, BTS, wake up! How do you expect me to enjoy the game when my Z-texture globlets ARE NOT GETTING BUFFERED FAST ENOUGH! It's a scandal is what it is, and thank you CaSCa for having the courage to speak out on this vital issue. If this is not fixed in the next patch I'm gonna...well, no, not that...I'M GONNA... nah, not that either... hold on a sec... lemme think here........... DeanCo-- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
109 Gustav Posted November 3, 2000 Share Posted November 3, 2000 The "good nighT" bug should also be patched. To implement it, select an arty spotter. type in the phrase "good night. then click on the ground right next to the spotter. Within 5 minutes at the latest, he will have put himself to sleep. ------------------ No one but the enemy will tell you what the enemy is going to do. No one but the enemy will ever teach you where you are weak. Only the enemy tells you where he is strong. And the rules of the game are what you can do to him and what you can stop him from doing to you. -Ender's Game Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pvt. Ryan Posted November 3, 2000 Share Posted November 3, 2000 One thing that must be fixed: CM won't run on the Pentium III 1.13 Ghz chip. Please fix, or do somefink. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pham911 Posted November 3, 2000 Share Posted November 3, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by deanco: Faster buffering of Z-texture globlets during high paradigm allocation periods!! I've been wondering when BTS was gonna fix this!! I mean, really, BTS, wake up! How do you expect me to enjoy the game when my Z-texture globlets ARE NOT GETTING BUFFERED FAST ENOUGH! It's a scandal is what it is, and thank you CaSCa for having the courage to speak out on this vital issue. If this is not fixed in the next patch I'm gonna...well, no, not that...I'M GONNA... nah, not that either... hold on a sec... lemme think here........... DeanCo--<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> What the hell are you talking about? My Z-texture globlets are being buffered so fast they're chaffing. And the tests have been inconclusive so far, but they may also be traveling backwards in time, and that's FAST! Real fast! Sounds like your nick "DeanCo" should be changed to "Dean-I've got a big hardware problem that's slowing my globlets so I'm blaming BTS-Co". Damn your sloth-like globlets anyways. Damn'em ta hell. What's this TCP/IP thing anyways? Is that some code name for an operation they're putting into the Russian Front patch? Like Barbarossa? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pvt. Ryan Posted November 3, 2000 Share Posted November 3, 2000 TCP/IP enables two people to play at the same time over the internet. It stands for: Two Can Play / Including Pham911 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deanco Posted November 3, 2000 Share Posted November 3, 2000 Well...humph! I can see that good old American ranting and raving is not gonna go far on this forum! Guess I'm gonna have to pull out the ultimate weapon... Scientific Method! I set up a test bed to measure the Z-texture globlet non-buffering ratio between different games. Here are my results : CM: KT, 2000M vs. conscript sharpshooter : 19% Z-tex globlets went unbuffered. CM: Sherman Easy 8, 2000M vs. TRP : 22% Z-tex globlets went unbuffered. (note that the Germans DO have a long range Z-tex globlet advantage, despite the 26,242 posts to the contrary.) Half-Life : crowbar against headcrab, 14% Z-tex globlets went unbuffered. Pac-man : Pac-man against blue monster : only 3% Z-tex globlets went unbuffered!!!!! (my emphasis) I think it's clearly evident from my 15 or 20 minutes or so of testing that BTS has dropped the ball on this whole buffering of Z-texture globlets during high paradigm allocation period thing. Humph. DeanCo-- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
von shrad Posted November 3, 2000 Share Posted November 3, 2000 deanco, Are you sure you did the test right. You did use the standard issued splim-driven transmignafier, didn't you? [This message has been edited by von shrad (edited 11-02-2000).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deanco Posted November 3, 2000 Share Posted November 3, 2000 von shrad, No, I don't have one. I used my mom's sewing machine instead. DeanCo-- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Splinty Posted November 3, 2000 Share Posted November 3, 2000 DeanCo the globlets thing may be caused by a Microsplat patent conspiracy in order to force us all to upgrade to 65 meg globlet paradigm based Nvoodia 5 audio cards. ------------------ Nicht Schiessen!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deanco Posted November 3, 2000 Share Posted November 3, 2000 Hmmm...Microsplat and BTS in cahoots? That'd explain their relucctance to speak out on the whole Z-texture globlet buffering during high paradigm allocation period scandal. Of course, everyone knows that Gates has the Overdue Library Book Fund in his pocket too, so I'll bet the OLBF is mixed up in this somehow, too. Now if you'll excuse me, I gotta go fix my mom's sewing machine before she gets home from work. She's gonna kill meeee...... DeanCo-- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aka_tom_w Posted November 3, 2000 Share Posted November 3, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by deanco: Well...humph! I can see that good old American ranting and raving is not gonna go far on this forum! Guess I'm gonna have to pull out the ultimate weapon... Scientific Method! I set up a test bed to measure the Z-texture globlet non-buffering ratio between different games. Here are my results : CM: KT, 2000M vs. conscript sharpshooter : 19% Z-tex globlets went unbuffered. CM: Sherman Easy 8, 2000M vs. TRP : 22% Z-tex globlets went unbuffered. (note that the Germans DO have a long range Z-tex globlet advantage, despite the 26,242 posts to the contrary.) DeanCo--<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Now thats FUNNY! ROTFLMAO!!! -tom w Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
109 Gustav Posted November 3, 2000 Share Posted November 3, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by deanco: von shrad, No, I don't have one. I used my mom's sewing machine instead. DeanCo--<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Really? I made one myself out of some tinfoil, two flat bycicle tires, duct tape, and the hubcaps from a 1952 International Harvester pickup. I'll send you the instructions if you want. ------------------ No one but the enemy will tell you what the enemy is going to do. No one but the enemy will ever teach you where you are weak. Only the enemy tells you where he is strong. And the rules of the game are what you can do to him and what you can stop him from doing to you. -Ender's Game Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catullus Posted November 3, 2000 Share Posted November 3, 2000 You guys haven't tried that patch? I got it last week. It works OK, 105 artillery now kill pillboxes more easily than in 1.05, but still not as easy as in 1.00. On the other hand, tanks wait considerably shorter than in 1.05 before swinging turret to cut down crews. This must be fixed. C. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smeltz Posted November 3, 2000 Share Posted November 3, 2000 My problem isn't Z buffing but something completely different: Time Reletive Gaming Feature (TRGF). Time on my computer while running CM seems to go faster then it should. I've reset the clock, checked the battery, and replaced the internal flux capacitor inside the video card and under the CPU. Nothing has worked so it must be a programming error in CM. This should be fixed as I'm sure others have had the problem and it is making CM players stay up too late and late for work. C'mon BTS get on the stick here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterNZer Posted November 3, 2000 Share Posted November 3, 2000 BTS!! Please fix, or do somefink!!!! ------------------ <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Meeks wrote: I no longer love Mensch but I am starting to feel a fire in my loins for PeterNZer<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peterk Posted November 3, 2000 Share Posted November 3, 2000 > My problem isn't Z buffing but something > completely different: Time Reletive > Gaming ?Feature (TRGF). Time on my > computer while running CM seems to go > faster then it should I've got that bug too. Made the game almost unplayable at first but I found a work-around until they patch it. Just change the time on your clocks backwards in 15 minute increments every time you finish a turn. It's a pain, but games are quicker to play (and it seems to have an good effect on the unbuffered tex-globelets too but I'm not 100% sure). p. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kverdon Posted November 3, 2000 Share Posted November 3, 2000 Nice factual explanaion of the z-buffer problem but did you first upgrade to the new Detonation 8.09.346.66343.456a3.34dd4.88.89e10 driver? Kevin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jshandorf Posted November 3, 2000 Share Posted November 3, 2000 Hey! No one has talked about the unemployment bug! After I got done playing CM I found out that I was unemployed! What the hell happened there?! They really got to implement a "get to work" patch into this game. Ya know.. Something that you can set to remind you to go to work and stuff. And while they are at it they should set this up for everything from "Feed The Dog" to "Acknowledge Existence of Wife and Children". Jeff Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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