Peng, I Am Still Taking Our Bloody Challenge Public

[Seanachai]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mace:

4 posts in one go!

Seanachai, are you on some sort of "frequent poster points" scheme?

Mace

[This message has been edited by Mace (edited 11-08-2000).]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I have an active and inventive mind. Sometimes it crawls in here looking for a bit of a lie down.

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After witnessing exceptional bravery from his Celtic mercenaries, Alexander the Great called them to him and asked if there was anything they feared. They told him nothing, except that the sky might fall on their heads.

[Mace]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Seanachai:

Sometimes it crawls in here looking for a bit of a lie down.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Damn, is that back door still opened?

[Seanachai]

ROIGHT, THEN! LINE UP AGAINST THAT WALL, TOES ON THAT LINE, YOU PUBLIC NUISANCES, AND ANSWER THE COMMANDER UP FRONT WHEN YOUR F'ING NAME IS CALLED, OR WE'LL HAVE THE BALLOCKS OFF YOU!

So. I go out for a bit of a run on the CM Board, and what do I find? I find a thread where many, nay, all, of the posters are from the Peng Challenge Thread. It is, of course, locked down by that bald-headed lunatic, Madmatt, instanter (may his hair never grow back). But what to my wondering eyes should appear, but the fact that some actually witty, some actually amusing, some actually interesting posts were there before it got locked down.

So. PawBroon. YK2. Chupacabra. Hiram Sedai. Croda. You aren't happy here in the Peng Challenge Thread? You have to take your little discussions elsewhere? You ignore the fact that this Thread is crying out for witty repartee? For humour? Do you think that everyone should have to endlessly sit through the postings of the new arrivals and Knight wannabes in order to get some entertainment? Or do you take the initiative, and, French like, shout: I HAVE WIT, ME! I SHALL BE POSTING TO ANNOY AND BELITTLE ALL WHO ARE NOT SO FINE AS ME AT MAKING THE BON MOT! EH, I SHALL GO BEYOND ALL THAT, AND MAKE THE MOT JUSTE!

Now, who's for a bit of a repentative sing-song?

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After witnessing exceptional bravery from his Celtic mercenaries, Alexander the Great called them to him and asked if there was anything they feared. They told him nothing, except that the sky might fall on their heads.

[Seanachai]

I remember, in so far as one nick-named 'Senility' can get by yesterday's lunch without having a moment of: here, that was quite tasty; wonderfully like what I ate...oh, the other day, I guess.

Anyway, I remember the various Germans™ going on about their culture, and their literature, and their 'by the wah-dee-doo-dah'. But I re-encountered this, the other day, and lately, it's seemed appropriate. The lovely thing about being me, and being on my computer, is that there are things like this on it. And I'm not you.

You Gentleman who think you have a mission

to purge us, of the seven deadly sins

should first sort out the basic food position--

then start your preaching

thats where it begins!

You lot who preach restraint, and watch your waist as well

should learn for once the way the world is run

however much you twist

or whatever lies that you tell

food is the first thing,

morals follow on...

so first make sure that those who are now starving

get proper helpings

when we all start carving

What Keeps Mankind Alive?

what keeps mankind alive,

the fact that millions

are daily tortured, stifled, punished, silenced and oppressed

mankind can keep alive

thanks to its brilliance

in keeping its

Humanity

repressed

and for once

you must

try not

to shriek

the facts:

Mankind

is kept

Alive

by bestial acts.

-Kurt Weil

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After witnessing exceptional bravery from his Celtic mercenaries, Alexander the Great called them to him and asked if there was anything they feared. They told him nothing, except that the sky might fall on their heads.

[Berlichtingen]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR> Do we want them locked in to place, or free to be setup by the proud combatants? (like it matters a damn). Also, about how many points, do you think?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Looking at it again, it looks like classic tank country. Perhaps 2000 points worth of tanks per side? Oh, certainly, let them place their forces themselves

BTW, the map was much bigger... but when I previewed it, it ran so slow I had to make it smaller

[Moriarty]

About time for a sing-song ... nah. How about a game update. OK.

PushBroom: The game started out fairly well for the feldgraus. Managed to bloody him up a bit and dispensed with his light armor. Alas, the wily Frenchman has bested my armor commanders, one died fighting, the other was an idiot who couldn't shoot. Advantage: Dustmop.

Blousemouse: Just getting started in another Berli creation. Suitably evil. Whacked a couple M4s on T-1. Now, it's time for some wine and cheese and catchin' some rays while he figures out a way to cross the creek.

Gerbiltoy: Is very busy pissing off (not that way, Bauhaus) all the Ents in the Ent forest with his thingies (BAUHAUS, NO) that go boom in the night.

Hiram: Has launched a coordinated attack from two sides and the pendulum has swung to his side.

Morsecode: A nighttime frolic with an interesting array of computer-selected forces. We have yet to meet in battle, but methinks it's probably not too far off.

Lorak: Still doesn't believe I can lose. Unless he's sandbagging, he has no armor left. Soon, he'll have no hope.

Peng: The AoP valiantly assaults but, so far, the Chinchilla Commando Teams are doing most of the assaulting. Fear not, Sir Peng, that zippo is almost out of juice.

Sasquatch: His troops know no fear. Run into a flammenwerfer, back off, move a few yards away and charge. The SMG squads found the maneuver most amusing. Then, they did it again. Great fun that. Not time to get overconfident, though, as his motorized force is moving up.

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"Why don't you say something righteous and hopeful for a change?" — Oddball

"Crap." — Moriarty

[mensch]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Seanachai:

MEEKS! PAWBROON!

That scenario you two mad boys sent me locks up Combat Mission everytime I try to load it…

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Seanachai I think this is a conspirency... Broomie sent me a file and it don't even open I looked into it and half the scripting is gone... I suspect hacking to favor thier games.. I call on the knigigits to strap them on the obruce table and call in "HELGA" the castle nurse to do a thurough body cavity search... oh and damn were out of rubber gloves (bad germanboy bad) so she will have to use gauntlets.

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Der Kessel Home of „Die Sturmgruppe“; Scenario Design Group for Combat Mission.

[PawBroon]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Stensched:

Seanachai I think this is a conspirency... Broomie sent me a file and it don't even open I looked into it and half the scripting is gone.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

It's missing part of the script because you're left with only part of your troop.

Can't you see the beauty of that?

BTW, are you telling me that you are actually playing your turn after viewing the map in Notepad?

Now that would explain a lot...

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"PawBroon: Clinically Insane, also Clinically French, which is very bad as well."

Croda

[Stuka]

Here menschy,!

Search Broomies cavity with this coconut shell, I've got a spare....

[PawBroon]

OK you jerks you asked for it and now that I have a coconut and a gauntlet high up in my genealogy, I'm pretty much revved up.

Many of you think that we french are arrogant and full of piss.

It's WRONG!

Bad, bad, stupid foreigners...

The result of the recent heavy duty studies I did for a few days is that we are in fact arrogant and full of alcohol.

Please change your perception accordingly.

And BTW, can't I go post useful administrative info about my saving of the Pool without being jumped by Sodomites?

Yes Scrota, it's you!!

Behold or I'll kick you back to your old scapegoat status so that the WoolProcessor may fondle with your own genealogy...

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And NO Bauhaus I didn't say SELF EXPLORATORY.

[mensch]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by PawBroon:

OK you jerks you asked for it and now that I have a coconut and a gauntlet high up in my genealogy, I'm pretty much revved up.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

ouch!

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Many of you think that we french are arrogant and full of piss.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

no just snails..

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>… we are in fact arrogant and full of alcohol.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

could explain why you look like this most of the time.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>WoolProcessor may fondle with your own genealogy...

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

MOOOMMM! the french are acting up again!!!

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Der Kessel Home of „Die Sturmgruppe“; Scenario Design Group for Combat Mission.

[This message has been edited by mensch (edited 11-09-2000).]

[Hiram Sedai]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Moriarty:

About time for a sing-song ... nah. How about a game update. OK.

Hiram: Has launched a coordinated attack from two sides and the pendulum has swung to his side.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

So, I purposely stay sober for the last ten turns, spend at least 20 minutes contemplating all of the strategical intricacies of Schwerpunkt and envelopment, I read books on WWI so I can learn how to die in droves (BTW if anyone here knows about the BEF British Expeditionary Force, please direct me towards a suitable website, these guys are my heros - expecially what they did in the beginning of WWI vs Germ Gen Buhler) and all I get is that I launched a coordinated attack???

Well, thank you Moriarty. I would also like to thank all the little people I had to step on to get to where I am today. Now, if I can end this PBEM with a draw, that would be two for me vs Pool Knights. Oh goody.

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Did someone compare this to the Peng thread? I've apologized for less.

-Anonymous

[This message has been edited by Hiram Sedai (edited 11-09-2000).]

[Croda]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by PawBroon:

... being jumped by Sodomites?

Yes Scrota, it's you!!

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Yes, I can understand why you might claim sodomy. An advancing Army does have a tendency to impose itself upon the locals, and considering there isn't a Frenchman left who isn't in my POW camp or hiding his head and playing dead, I can understand why you might feel like you just got F***ed in the ass by a Brontosaur. Regardless. My copius force will soon sweep you from the map. Please don't surrender...I'm having too much fun

As for the rest of you:

Morse, my wonderful sponsor, is using VT on me. Not cool.

PeterEZRider complains that he has no good tanks while 2 Panthers threaten to rule the field next turn. I can see his complaint however since he will lose said Panthers the next turn and then be swept off the field.

Meeks is too busy banging Cantonese girls to respond in a decent amount of time.

ChupaSurrender has promised surrenders to anyone who can't wait until Sunday for a turn. Since my men are acting like the Army of PawBroon, I'll graciously accept his surrender.

Herr Ovaries is feeling the pain of the German counterattack. His GIs crumble at the sound of SMGs in the woods (which is different from MSG in their 'K' Rations).

Here-I-Am Shoot-Me: I know it's painful losing a house full of infantry. Damn pigs may even have had Aryan families back home. Such a loss. Don't worry, their friends won't be around long enough to mourn them. Invade Poland will you?

Stuka: There will not be many reports on this Knight's Challenge for the next few days. All of our troops (at least the ones still in fighting condition) have order delay times of around 3 minutes. So it's gonna take a few days to get any action going again. At this time, we each hold half of the town. He holds the VL. My old men are cleaning their dentures for a "fight to the too scared to fight so run away!"

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"Nuts!"

[Guest rune]

Bauhaus,

You silly git. You think Berli's creations are evil? Not even close. I have tested scenarios that would make your skin crawl, I have created scenarios to make mortals run and hide under the bed. Berli has seen parts of my evil creation...even he is in awe.

So, do not challenge me with a mere toy scenario...my time is occupied with tcp/ip. However, turning to the dark side is a beginning..and you are to be rewarded. Hence, you will test [iF your computer is fast enough] my latest creation of pure evil. Let me know the speed of your computer, and if you are willing to fight for the zulus at Rourke's drift...err.....the American's at Fort du Roule.

Now, to bring fear into everyone's heart...my next piece of work is truely truely evil. I have taken the movie we love to hate, Battle of the Bulge, and I will re-create the famous last tank battle. Yes, the one in the desert between M48s as King Tigers and M24 Chaffees as American Medium tanks. You may now cringe...

Rune

Commander

Army of the Darkness..errr...Porcupines

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by bauhaus:

Even I wouldn't be caught dead in a speedo. For that Rune you deserve to be punished. The only thing you have going for you is that you are a fellow Chicagoan. So you can't be all bad. So......I think Herr Berli needs to send you a certain file, Berli knows the one. It's nothing but smoke and burning buildings. I will make sure it gets to you some how.....as penance you shall play.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

[Herr Oberst]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Croda:

...

Herr Ovaries is feeling the pain of the German counterattack. His GIs crumble at the sound of SMGs in the woods (which is different from MSG in their 'K' Rations).

...

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Well what the F do you expect?!? Here we are wandering around in the woods where we cannot see more than 28m in front of our noses, and the AI was kind enough to buy SMG troops for you, while giving me loads of totally worthless 60mm mortar crews and Arty guys who have been totally worthless thus far. Have I mentioned that all those guys are worthless???

I will keep true to my earlier post, and you can expect to see/hear/feel a great deal of action in the next few turns cause I'm bored out of my mind in this pea soup you handed me.

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To the last I grapple with thee; from hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee...

[This message has been edited by Herr Oberst (edited 11-09-2000).]

[jshandorf]

Cruuuudddd-da!!!

For sooth! Why have you abandoned me? Twas it the beating like a dog I hath handed to thee?

Send me a setup, you craven excuse for man, and reclaim you honor!

Jeff

[Croda]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Herr Oberst:

Waaaa! Waaaa! Stop beating me you big meany!

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Get over it, old man! The new generation is here to show you old "can't read the ballot and voted for Bart Simpson" geezers the door to the old folks home. I'm sure there will be plenty of action. Run Away! Run Away! Is that tank you're creeping in supposed to scare me? Are my nads supposed to tighten up and pull close to my body for warmth? I let your advance go unchecked for far too long. This only means that my counter-attack will have to be that much more savage!

The Bastard: I forgot about you. I'll get the setup created post-haste. Hopefully tonight.

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"Nuts!"

[Herr Oberst]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Croda:

Get over it, old man! The new generation is here to show you old "can't read the ballot and voted for Bart Simpson" geezers the door to the old folks home. I'm sure there will be plenty of action. Run Away! Run Away! Is that tank you're creeping in supposed to scare me? Are my nads supposed to tighten up and pull close to my body for warmth? I let your advance go unchecked for far too long. This only means that my counter-attack will have to be that much more savage!

The Bastard: I forgot about you. I'll get the setup created post-haste. Hopefully tonight.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Hey Crawdad,

mordez mon derrière...

beißen Sie mein hinteres...

mordere le mie natiche...

morda meus buttocks...

muerda mis nalgas...

bite my buttocks...

I posted to let you know that the fun is gone out of our battle, and ennui has set in... You will have to find someone else to tie up your troops and bugger them with small rodents. My troops shall go on a killing spree, and it matters not to me whose set of soldiers it is that dies. So prepare yourself and your unter-hamsters cause Uncle Sam is a comin' your way slinging ****e!

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To the last I grapple with thee; from hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee...

[jshandorf]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Herr Oberst:

Hey Crawdad,

mordez mon derrière...

beißen Sie mein hinteres...

mordere le mie natiche...

morda meus buttocks...

muerda mis nalgas...

bite my buttocks...

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Did he say, "Bite my ass?"

Oh my....

Jeff

[Croda]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by jshandorf:

Did he say, "Bite my ass?"

Oh my....

Jeff<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

No, I think it was bite his ass, not yours.

And as for you Herr Club For Men, Let the fists fly. I agree that Armagedon will brighten up this dreary LA skyline we're playing in. Line 'em up Braveheart style and we'll have a go at it.

------------------

"Nuts!"

[Hiram Sedai]

Alright Gentlemen. You're giving Squiredom a bad name with all of your kinky sex allusions. There be no more ass-biting without implicit permission from the Board of Assbiters of The Pool (BOA of TP) Said permission must be obtained 72 hours prior to commencement of the ass-biting. Please see the Senile Knight for his Doily of Approval to be thrown when the rabid or rampant biting begins.

that is all

------------------

Did someone compare this to the Peng thread? I've apologized for less.

-Anonymous

[bauhaus]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by rune:

Bauhaus,

You silly git. You think Berli's creations are evil? Not even close. I have tested scenarios that would make your skin crawl, I have created scenarios to make mortals run and hide under the bed. Berli has seen parts of my evil creation...even he is in awe.

So, do not challenge me with a mere toy scenario...my time is occupied with tcp/ip. However, turning to the dark side is a beginning..and you are to be rewarded. Hence, you will test [iF your computer is fast enough] my latest creation of pure evil. Let me know the speed of your computer, and if you are willing to fight for the zulus at Rourke's drift...err.....the American's at Fort du Roule.

Now, to bring fear into everyone's heart...my next piece of work is truely truely evil. I have taken the movie we love to hate, Battle of the Bulge, and I will re-create the famous last tank battle. Yes, the one in the desert between M48s as King Tigers and M24 Chaffees as American Medium tanks. You may now cringe...

Rune

Commander

Army of the Darkness..errr...Porcupines

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I think my computer can handle most anything you chose to throw at it. It's me I'm concerned about. I'm using a 400mghrtz G3 iMac DVSE. So fellow Chicagoan, bring it on. Would you care to make that Canuck lover Seniletea a tank captain in one of the crews. I would love to kill him, just like I am in our current PBEM.

[Herr Oberst]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Hiram Sedai:

Alright Gentlemen. You're giving Squiredom a bad name with all of your kinky sex allusions. There be no more ass-biting without implicit permission from the Board of Assbiters of The Pool (BOA of TP) Said permission must be obtained 72 hours prior to commencement of the ass-biting. Please see the Senile Knight for his Doily of Approval to be thrown when the rabid or rampant biting begins.

that is all

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Now Hiram, jealousy does not become you (not that anything would ever want to become you, if-you-know-what-i-mean).

So hush up and back off or we will be forced to remove that ferret you have been enjoying for the past few days... although I still haven't quite figured out how it's still alive.

Usually the poor things suffocate, but from what I understand, yours has installed a mailbox, posted a house number, and asked for all of its furniture to be delivered...

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To the last I grapple with thee; from hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee...

[Guest YK2]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Stuka:

Here menschy,!

Search Broomies cavity with this coconut shell, I've got a spare....<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

AHEM, Down boys, if anyone is going to search Broomies cavity then it will be me, after all we wouldn't want to hurt him, would we? Now.... where did I put those latex gloves?

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"That's Mizz Chihuahua to you, buddy."

[This message has been edited by YK2 (edited 11-09-2000).]

[mensch]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by YK2:

Now.... where did I put those latex gloves?

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

sorry YourKinkeyToo, Giggleboy used all of the ones to be found in the pool.. (bad bad g.boy) Although you can rummage through whats left of them in the corner.. but they are kinda sticky...

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<a href="http://www.geocities.com/greg_mudry/sturm.html">Der Kessel</a >

Home of „Die Sturmgruppe“; Scenario Design Group for Combat Mission.