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Peng, I Am Still Taking Our Bloody Challenge Public


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Guest Germanboy

Okay, so now we know Croda lives in Harrisburg, so that should explain somefink. Never mind.

Tracy, can you please type up the following for sending out later today?

Dear Mr. Geeks,

I am writing to you concerning the visit of a unit of UK infantry (members of the 43rd ID, 1st BN Royal Norfolks) to the defensive positions of your German troops in the general vincinity of the Reichswald, Kleve and Goch. As we discussed in our earlier exchange of correspondence, there appears to be some potential for an exchange of views (shurely: of bullets - ed.) on various matters pertaining to who owns the high ground. We are, however, afraid that the lack of response from your side will make it increasingly unlikely that the matter can be settled on the battlefield, and would like to remind you that, as the old adage goes: it takes two to tango. Alternatively, we contemplate to settle the matter by employing The Old Firm to pay a visit in person (if they can be called such) on your premises.

We look forward to receiving your reply through the usual channels.

Kind regards etc.etc.

------------------

Andreas

Der Kessel Home of „Die Sturmgruppe“; Scenario Design Group for Combat Mission.

[This message has been edited by Germanboy (edited 10-27-2000).]

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I have but a few moments to post this busy morning. No, I did not process any turns last night. I was busy with far more important matters than you scurvy members of rodent family. God's gift to television watchers is surely the Tivo!! Back to CM:

Shagger:

Haven't even looked at your turn file yet.

Meeks, Peeks, Squeaks:

Did a quick watch... One gratifying point from this turn: The Marder III took out a Firefly from 1013m. Yes, count them, 1,000m. It then bit the dust of course, but I'll trade a Marder (measly 16 AP rounds, sheesh) for a Firefly on most days.

On the more debilitating side, one of your lousy rear area gerbils, whom I shall have to grind into sausage meat under my treads, managed to cover his eyes, pull the firing cord, scream out 10 Hail Mary's, and drop his artillery shell on a "turret front weak spot" on my Crack Panther VG. I think crack is where the Panther driver's hands were, since he was supposed to bug out of that area.

More later. Too busy to be venomous this morning...

------------------

To the last I grapple with thee; from hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee...

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I just toasted a CD with some classic ABBA for all my opponents. Here is a sample on what songs are on it:

Mortars Mortars Mortars

When I kissed the Hauptmann

Voulez-ve-surrender

Does your CO know?

Hamster Queen

Thank you for the panzers

Mamma mia (for CM3 obviously)

The Panther takes it all

and of course:

Waterloo

Enjoy! You idiots.

------------------

Johan

"The succesful execution of a well devised plan often looks like luck to saps."

Dashiell Hammett

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Any of you ugly bastards going to be in the city (london) tonight? I am going shopping and might want to share a glass at some point.

buzz me if bored, 07944 685 843

oh. Is it legal to have twwwoooo squires? Do i have to fight for JD Morse's love?! What questions beguile me

PeterNZ

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by PeterNZer:

oh. Is it legal to have twwwoooo squires? Do i have to fight for JD Morse's love?!

PeterNZ<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

No, you have to fight because 1)you claim to be a man 2)posting on a Combat Forum and 3)because I told you so. Do you accept, or would you like to discuss it with your war council:

"Do you think we should fight a maniac like Croda?"

"Baa Baa, Bleat!"

"I'm through discussing that with you. That other sheep means nothing to me."

"Bleat Bleat Baa Bleat!"

"Well the goat in Auckland is another story, but we have more important things to talk about now. Should we fight Croda? Have you read his reports about what he's doing to the other Cesspooligans?"

"Blaa-Baa. Bleatity Bleat Bleat. Baa Bleat Baa."

"Ok, but I'm only touching it one more time. Come to daddy you sexy little fur-ball!"

"Bleeeeeeeaaaat!"

------------------

"Nuts!"

[This message has been edited by Croda (edited 10-27-2000).]

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Ah, so many beautiful battles, so little time to recount them all. Well, that's not true. I get paid 70k a year to surf on the Internet all day, so I have all the time in the world to harass and bother you bunch a bastards. Where to start, where to start?

First, some time ago I cleaned up my PBEM folder, deleting everything and laughing maniacally. Now, such a thing as this is good for the soul but is not very good for the games, as it seems that somehow I managed to not reply to a single PBEM opponent. I take this to be the reason why I have yet to receive a turn from either Berli or Andreas. Berli I don't mind but Andreas, hell we haven't even shot a bullet at each other. So if you would like to continue our gentlemanly battle, Sir Andreas, please resend me the last turn and I shall be happy to respond.

As to Herr Oberst, fog of war be damned, it was not a Firefly but rather a Sherman V, and it was not a mortar but rather the sole hollow charge from my Churchill XIV (That's right, he's the homey Churchill who's slinging the smack like it's 1975!). Beauty of a shot, I must say. And all your boys appear to be crack, while all my boys are simple veterans. Yes, even with your wildly sandbagged setup, I'm going to slaughter you Oberst.

Hiram and I had a good little tussle (sp?), I don't know where it's going, though. He seems to have a good defensive position, though my forces have crossed the open space unscathed. I hope he's not following the 25 FOs and a Mule strategy. Speaking of which, did anyone here play Mule back in the day? I have an odd feeling that if Mule came out and there was a real Internet, the board for it would sound a lot like this.

Hmmmmm, JDMorse is a moron and seems to like moving his tanks back and forth in front of my all but useless sharpshooter, who will not shoot his gun because he's a pacifist or a coward or both (Most are both).

Well, when I was working as a War Pimp for the construction yard down in Brazil, I never saw as big a slutball schmuck as Chrisl. See, them hoes and homeys may have been whacked on the shizzat but they ain't nothing compared to the total brain-rot demonstrated by the lily-white Chrisl. Say, Chrisl, does it offend you when I capitalize the first letter of Chrisl? Does it offend you when I capitalize on your inadequate grasp of tactics?

And Shandorf and I are having a greeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaat time! I haven't had this much fun since I played OGSF in that first sandbagged, "Hey let's fight in the dark, I get the SMGs, you get a shovel" battle that he set up with me. Speaking of OGSF (Original Gangsta' Solid Fondue?) I still haven't had the willingness to set up my battle with him. Why? Christ, I don't no.

Finally, I think we should put bounties on non-poolers heads and offer intangible but cool-sounding rewards. For instance, the first sonofabitch who can bring me the head of Lewis (Yes, that lousy :USERNAME: bastard) gets the title, "Protector of CM" and the possession of all the lands of the Southern Pool.

------------------

Seen in the light of evolution, biology is, perhaps, intellectually the most satisfying and inspiring science. Without that light it becomes a pile of sundry facts—some of them interesting or curious but making no meaningful picture as a whole.

-Theodosius Dobzhansky, "Nothing in Biology Makes Sense Except in the Light of Evolution"

[This message has been edited by Elijah Meeks (edited 10-27-2000).]

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Croda:

That is not an easy question to answer. You see, it necessitates delving deep into the inner mind of the subject to truly give the answer, but here is the bottom line. We in the business of judging others and blatantly overexagerating their most trfling flaws, also take the time to name any and all afflictions that could ever possibly be remotely true. I have ravaged the files of the Pool psycho-analyst (me) and whittled those down to what are absolute truths, and hereby publish them for the world:

Bauhaus: A sexual deviant who rarely posts due to spending far too much time over at Thumbzilla.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

actually, I don't post much because I'm actually working, way too much. Shut up Berli and Snoriarty. Thumbzilla? Never been there, never will. Newsgroups, now that's the way to go.

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Hiram Sedai:

I realize that I'll receive a tongue-lashing for this post (please be seated, Mr. Bauhaus) but I need to aplogize for my glaring ineptitude in my PBEM's. I'm being soundly spanked (setzen sie sich Herr Bauhaus) by my opponents and I'm thinking that this might be boring for many of you. So, I shall endevour to lose faster so you might be able to pad your scores on Loraks hall of Kannigitery. I dare say that the only thing more boring than my game play would be (yes, you guessed it) -->my posts. You should set an alarm before reading one of these things.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

If you're not careful Mr. Hirem Scrotum, I will have Mr. Berlickedabigone grab said product and twist till it falls off.

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Shandorf:

(Smack...Smack...Smack...Smack...)

I can see his scrawny behind give way to my powerful strokes! (Not THOSE kind of strokes, Bauhaus!).

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

What is this board coming to? When mere simps begin to use thy name of bauhaus in vain (I did like the Bauhausian thingy though Penileitch). From now on, my pat response will be, MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM™. I have now placed a gag order on my toilet bowl humor. Now, given I'm weak and without restraint, I give me a day to break my order of gageth. Can you tell I haven't read the board in about a week?

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Elijah Meeks:

And Shandorf and I are having a greeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaat time! I haven't had this much fun since I played OGSF in that first sandbagged, "Hey let's fight in the dark, I get the SMGs, you get a shovel" battle that he set up with me.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Sandbag! You must be daft or senile. I would reckon both, but if I recall correctly YOU are the Axis. Therefore you get SMG squads. Also the weather, terrain, TOD, and units were all picked by the computer. So don't be crying about a sandbag.

Anyway, quit yer whining. The visibility is at 183 meters so I wouldn't call it absolute darkness. Maybe if you would actually stand up and fight instead of this "I will hide my troops throughout the board and wait until he walks into them" tactic the game might, just might mind you, be more entertaining.

Bah! Why do I try? I am gonna crush you in this one.

Jeff

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by jshandorf:

Sandbag!

-Insert rampant hyperventilation-

Bah! Why do I try? I am gonna crush you in this one.

Jeff<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

You idgit. I said I was having as much fun as I had when OGSF sandbagged me which was an enormous amount of fun. You have not sandbagged me, you horse's ass. OGSF sandbagged me. Do you see the difference. Do you understand English sentence structure? Have you got two neurons to rub together?!?!! Subject: OGSF, verb: sandbagged, predicate: me. Not Shandorf sandbagged me. Not Shandorf shagged a sheep. Not Jefe's smoking too much of the ganja. No, O-G-S-F s-a-n-d-b-a-g-g-e-d m-e.

Comprende?

You have issues my friend, serious, diabolical issues. I'm happy they result in interesting CM matches but, yeesh, get some damn therapy.

------------------

Seen in the light of evolution, biology is, perhaps, intellectually the most satisfying and inspiring science. Without that light it becomes a pile of sundry facts—some of them interesting or curious but making no meaningful picture as a whole.

-Theodosius Dobzhansky, "Nothing in Biology Makes Sense Except in the Light of Evolution"

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Elijah Meeks:

[An explaination of his recent post.]

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Hmmm? *Scratching head* I see... A simple misunderstanding.

I assumed you DIDN'T have fun playing OGSF and that you were being sarcastic.

Anyway, playing you always makes me tense, darn it. You are TOO damn sneaky and unpredictable. I other words I have to think TOO much when I play you. How many people would use an armor asset to lure other armor piece so that his lone AT-Team sitting out IN FRONT of his tank can KO the armor? I wouldn't. That is problem.

Therapy? Bah! Why would one need therapy when one has CM and the Cesspool? Hmmm?

Jeff

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You need to lighten up a bit on shandorfffff. Remember, his girlfriend is in town for her mothly conjugal visiy. That means that he's most likely oversexed and can't remember a damned thing. This is obviously why he reacting to strangely to everything. It's probably also why he thinks he's going to push me back so badly. 2 MG teams have held him thus far, that fact that he thinks he's going to suddenly have an attack strategy coherent enough to overpower a Sherman with a commanding view of the field is evidence that the messages are certainly not getting from axon to dendrite.

And for something really off the wall, 3 bauhaus posts on 1 page? Is Cesspoolnarock 2 coming so soon? And some defensiveness in there to boot. I for one was beginning to think he was but a legend who didn't truly exist, but was a mere figment of Seansnatchy's imagination that had multiplied and infested the pool like reverse Borg syndrome. Well now we know the truth, and he has vowed to give up toilet humor for close to a day. That is the noblest action we've had in the pool since Meeks' attempt to not post after the great schism. If this type of behavior keeps up, expect Peng to go smilie happy, and PawBroon to cease and desist with his random inflamatory boldfaciing of everything.

And what is with a Knigget of the CessPool stopping to explain himself? Slow day over there in "overpayed to do nothing" land, Elijah?

------------------

"Nuts!"

[This message has been edited by Croda (edited 10-27-2000).]

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Croda:

You need to lighten up a bit on shandorfffff. Remember, his girlfriend is in town for her mothly conjugal visiy. That means that he's most likely oversexed and can't remember a damned thing. This is obviously why he reacting to strangely to everything. It's probably also why he thinks he's going to push me back so badly. 2 MG teams have held him thus far, that fact that he thinks he's going to suddenly have an attack strategy coherent enough to overpower a Sherman with a commanding view of the field is evidence that the messages are certainly not getting from axon to dendrite.

B]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Hey, not fair. You forget to keep pointing out that you have Elite troops. Those suckers just won't suppress. Did you notice at one point I had like 8 units firing at that .50cal in the house and he would NEVER put his head down? Geezus, they are like freakin' robots. Hell, and accurate to boot. Until your mortar team ran out of HE it was dropping murderously accurate fire on my MG teams.

Also, you "had" 3 MG teams covering those woods. One in the first house, One in the second house further back, and One to the right in another house. Lets not forget the M3A1 HT and the T8, which have multiple MGs, and NOW the tank. Most HTs would have turned tail and ran considering how close you had them to my infantry, but that Elite HT just sat there and mowed through quite a few guys.

Regardless, the reason the center section hasn't moved is because they don't need to. They aren't pinned down. They have the VL secured and they are keeping your units busy. Haven't you noticed the push right? Those two squads have taken like 2 casualties combined. They are walking through your guys.

That left flank is a good battle but you are running VERY low on ammo. Soon I will push you right out of there.

That VL on your back right.. Heh heh.. How you liking that 120mm Mortars? I have already spotted one whole squad wiped out. No telling how much the others are messed up. I would say pretty bad.

And how is that platoon of yours on my right doing? Ya know.. The one you tried to move over to reinforce your center? They don't look like they are doing to well. My MGs on the hill are playing havok with them and my Stug just blew up that house a couple units were in. I told you before that you let me move up too far and that you wouldn't be able to manuver without me getting you in a cross-fire and attriting your troops severly before they get to where they are going.

Atleast this is what I am seeing,

Jeff

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You're not too far off. That HT alone laid down all sorts of madness. I'll have to post his stats, but he had over 15 kills himself. And I agree that if I didn't have Elite troops, that the whole thing would be long over. But that's what you get with autoselection. As for my current disposition...my right, though faltering, is holding strong. It will take you a little longer to break them. I've only lost one squad there, and the reverse slope and wooded foxholes are great cover even from your arty. I was hoping that my zook team would get one more HT, but he blew his wad and is now running for it. The center will live or die on the success of that squad moving from my left. And if you just hammered a house with a squad in it, that may be all she wrote. Either way, you'll have some problems getting past that Sherman. Now if I can just find a way to take out that Stug, things will look a lot brighter for me. I'm out of mortar rounds, and the autoselection gave me no arty (can you imagine Americans fighting without arty?), so it's all blood and guts from here on out. The T8, haveing suffered one casualty, will no longer fire his weapon, which is why he was sent on the mad, suicide run, which I'm sure you put a quick end to. My hope from here on out is to hold you in place as well as I can, and make sure I don't get swept from the field. If I can hold the positions I have, I should be able to earn a draw or possible a tac win. We're 2/3 done, and you have yet to overpower me. Let's here it for Elite troops!

------------------

"Nuts!"

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Croda:

You're not too far off. That HT alone laid down all sorts of madness. I'll have to post his stats, but he had over 15 kills himself. And I agree that if I didn't have Elite troops, that the whole thing would be long over. But that's what you get with autoselection. As for my current disposition...my right, though faltering, is holding strong. It will take you a little longer to break them. I've only lost one squad there, and the reverse slope and wooded foxholes are great cover even from your arty. I was hoping that my zook team would get one more HT, but he blew his wad and is now running for it. The center will live or die on the success of that squad moving from my left. And if you just hammered a house with a squad in it, that may be all she wrote. Either way, you'll have some problems getting past that Sherman. Now if I can just find a way to take out that Stug, things will look a lot brighter for me. I'm out of mortar rounds, and the autoselection gave me no arty (can you imagine Americans fighting without arty?), so it's all blood and guts from here on out. The T8, haveing suffered one casualty, will no longer fire his weapon, which is why he was sent on the mad, suicide run, which I'm sure you put a quick end to. My hope from here on out is to hold you in place as well as I can, and make sure I don't get swept from the field. If I can hold the positions I have, I should be able to earn a draw or possible a tac win. We're 2/3 done, and you have yet to overpower me. Let's here it for Elite troops!

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

In truth if I would have overpowered you already the battle would be over.

Ahhh.. You haven't watched the last movie, eh? Muahahahahah! OKay.. It looks like you got impatient with my Stug and you sent some 'zook team on a crazy do or die mission. Unfortunately my Stug spotted them soon enough so he will soon be reversing and mowing that little team down. They DO have a shot but I would have to guess it is a slim chance, but still ya never know.

That poor T8 car you sent off to it's death. I suppose it was either die by my infantry or die backing into the Stugs LOF. It was funny to watch though. You should get a good laugh.

That Sherman is not invincible staying where it is. It has pretty much NO infantry support and considering he is within a 30 second run from my infantry from TWO different angles I wouldn't be betting on that Sherman sticking around long.

Your right flank is holding for now, but they are outnumbered 2:1 and they are running low on ammo. So in 10 turns I think it would be safe to say I will have that VL.

By that time I should have the center pretty secured which means I can send about 3 platoons to that flag on your back right. That will be mine also. Two other flags I already control, which leaves you dear Croda with ONE minor flag.

I would be hoping for a Minor-Tac-lose if I were you. This look like a Major-Tac-lose for you if not more.

Yeah, I was supprised you got NO arty. I was waiting for it for a while. It soon became clear that you had none so that is ANOTHER reason why I haven't pushed the attack too hard. Arty definitly would have made me put the step back into my men.

Jeff

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Yes, an Elite FO or 2 would have helped my cause. What I wouldn't give for a load of 105VT right now. It could quite possibly eliminate your entire center. As for my right, they aren't as low on ammo as you think. And that's the last time that I send old 'Thunderfoot Williams' on an end zook rush. That SOB is supposed to be sneaking! I needed one more turn to get by your Stug and get a flank shot. Oh well, looks like it's time to take a shot and hope his Elite ass can continue the trend that the others have started. And don't count on rushing that Sherman without getting routed yourself. Regardless, it looks to be a great finish. Certainly one of the better PBEMs I've played in.

------------------

"Nuts!"

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Croda:

Yes, an Elite FO or 2 would have helped my cause. What I wouldn't give for a load of 105VT right now. It could quite possibly eliminate your entire center. As for my right, they aren't as low on ammo as you think. And that's the last time that I send old 'Thunderfoot Williams' on an end zook rush. That SOB is supposed to be sneaking! I needed one more turn to get by your Stug and get a flank shot. Oh well, looks like it's time to take a shot and hope his Elite ass can continue the trend that the others have started. And don't count on rushing that Sherman without getting routed yourself. Regardless, it looks to be a great finish. Certainly one of the better PBEMs I've played in.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Yeah, but imagine how much an Elite 105mm FO would have cost. Geezus...

My morale isn't THAT low....

Anyways, so you mean better PBEM as in the way you have played, or I as your opponent or the entire battle in general. Just ckeckin' wink.gif

There dammit! I used a smiley! You happy now?

Meeks! Get in here and throw some vitrolic gas on this fire. It is about to go out!

Jeff

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>If you're not careful Mr. Hirem Scrotum, I will have Mr. Berlickedabigone grab said product and twist till it falls off. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

See, Hiram, wait long enough and Blousemaus will answer your question in his own style. He is sort of our version of Butthead... no real wit and his lack of subtlety lacks the artistry of say Meeks

[This message has been edited by Berlichtingen (edited 10-27-2000).]

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Guest Germanboy

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Croda and jshandorf:

Blablabla <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Can it get much more boring than this? Let's hope not...

------------------

Andreas

Der Kessel Home of „Die Sturmgruppe“; Scenario Design Group for Combat Mission.

[This message has been edited by Germanboy (edited 10-27-2000).]

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Germanbaby:

Whhhaaaaaa! Whhhhaaa! Entertain me! Make me laugh and smile! Whhhaaaaa!

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Okay, you want to be entertained, eh? Send me a setup Wormboy and I will entertain you, but you won't be smiling.

Jeff

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Leaks

You will find a little golden treasure in your inbox, yes, it is a setup. 1500pts of computer-bought green germans, and their ME in a town with my Brits, (gawd bless 'em). I expect to see a lot of running away, screaming and dying on both sides. I can't wait. You will know the file by its name, "die_meeks_die_you_evil_man 01.txt"

Skoda

I hope you appreciate the 2000pts worth of low quality Allied armor you have. The map is large, very woody, hilly, rurally, dawny. You will recognise the file as it is called something equally long and telling

Enjoy

PeterNZ

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Meeks wrote:

I no longer love Mensch but I am starting to feel a fire in my loins for PeterNZer<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

[This message has been edited by PeterNZer (edited 10-27-2000).]

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