Peng, I Am Still Taking Our Bloody Challenge Public

[Croda]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by jshandorf:

Jeff

Jeff

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

You truly are impressed with yourself. Not only have you got yourself thinking that you've won the battle, but now you're signing your name twice. I'll have to one-up you.

Croda the Great!

Croda the Magnificent!

Croda the Triumphant!

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"Nuts!"

[This message has been edited by Croda (edited 10-23-2000).]

[This message has been edited by Croda (edited 10-23-2000).]

[Croda]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Herr Oberst:

The last turn I watched, the flags on your right...turned U.S., yes-siree red, white, and blue VLs <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Ahhh, so you're attacking on my right are you...Time to adjust that arty a tad. The goodthing about this blasted night fog is that our men won't be burdened with watching each other die.

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"Nuts!"

[This message has been edited by Croda (edited 10-23-2000).]

[jshandorf]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Croda:

You truly are impresses with yourself. Not only have you got yourself thinking that you've won the battle, but now you're signing your name twice. I'll have to one-up you.

Croda the Great!

Croda the Magnificent!

Croda the Triumphant!

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Let me have the honor of adding a few...

Croda the girly frame.

Croda the soft and limp.

Croda the pansy man.

Let me clarify... I am not claiming to have decidedly won the battle. I am just saying that you are NOT winning. In fact not even close. You best hope right now will be a draw and unless I go catatonic that will not happen.

Your defense is inflexible and immobile. While I on the other hand can move and choose my point of attack. You cannot direct me in any direction. As long as I don't go headlong rushing blindly, and luck doesn't swing your way, I should win this battle.

In the meantime swap your men's uniforms for skirts and bobsey wigs. My Hamstertruppen will need some entertaining after they roll over you.

Jeff

[jshandorf]

The battle of the Minnesotans has begun!

I and my fearless teams of Hamstertruppen are assign to roll over Seanachai and his worthless Gerbilmen.

This battle looks like it will be a tough nut to crack. He controls a large city on the top of a hill. It looks up hill all the way but let us see if I cannot "level" the ground a bit before I roll. Ha ha!

Jeff

[Herr Oberst]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Croda:

Ahhh, so you're attacking on my right are you...Time to adjust that arty a tad. The goodthing about this blasted night fog is that our men won't be burdened with watching each other die.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

*pop* *pop* *pop*

What's that noise I hear?!?

Is it Crawdad's (it is your OFFICIAL Oberstian nickname now) artillery shells going off?

Is it Crawdad's idiots in uniform making popcorn?

Is it Crawdad's soldiers with IQ's of 17 popping little plastic bubble shipping wrap?

Or, most likely of all, is it the sound of Crawdad's troop's mouths popping off their mother's breasts as they realize that true warrior gerbils have brought them battle, and that these furless, eyeless hamsters need to quit the field of glory before they meet their demise and it gets turned into a field of hamster-gory...

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To the last I grapple with thee; from hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee...

[This message has been edited by Herr Oberst (edited 10-23-2000).]

[BFCElvis]

Why is it that whenever Peter posts about the battles he is playing he never mentions the one with me that he is about to get smoked in? Does he block it from what is left of his little mind?

Cruda isn't much better.

Hiram continues to run into resistence at every turn and sees no light at the end of this tunnel.

Peng stands a chance at being the first person to beat me in a long while but the clock is ticking for him.

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"To conquer death you only have to die" JC

[Chupacabra]

BakingSoda! You have an awful lot of time to post silly sniveling girly-taunts on the board and not much time to send me files, it seems. Or perhaps you're scared of what I'm going to do to you next? A bit ironic, isn't it? You lecture me on the board about leaving squads in buildings, and in the end, my brave lads are unscathed, while yours are messily splattered under 10 tons of rubble. Tsk tsk.

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Soy super bien, soy super super bien, soy bien bien super bien bien bien super super.

[jdmorse]

PeterHDGz (Herr Dr. Goebbels) I mean for sheer propaganda spewing you take the cake. Let's review.....PHDGz says....he controls a VL's

Fact..at that time I had squad or two there already. PHDGz later says.....that he controls all VL's....fact, I still have squads (greatly reduced and who had gotten thrown out earlier at that location) and have taken physical possesion of another. PHDGz says.....he is throwing me out of the VL (he claims he controls) Fact....I have several squads he has...a crew.PHDGz says.....he is going to crush me now. Fact ....I am still waiting, physically occupying 2 of 3 VL's and in full control of one of them. PHDGz says..... Nevermind, I shall deal with them shortly. Nice try however.Fact is the arty is falling like the leaves of autumn around his little head. His lice-troopers scratch themselves to oblivion and feed the maggots.

Moriarty just dies....the clanking treads of my panzers crush the last viable resistance from the Morte Salient.

Sasquatch....for it is truly a winter wonderland...and I are having so much fun. With the only moving tank I cruise the landscape like Tommorowland go carts blasting all I see. Of course it could be a rope a dope, have me expend my ammunition and then rise up. Sheer boredom is arising with some 15 turns to go. At least 1/2 our respective forces have already hightailed it in broken splendor off the board. Although having a FO (with full load) get it together after about 20 turns of craving blathering is comforting

Hiram continues to roll over on his back exposing his throat.

The resident of Arkham, the mad meek hamsters continues to perplex. Thus normal tactics need be discarded and I shall meet him in his own crazed and distorted reality. Heaven help the men under our commands.

Pawpup needs to return the penultimate turn, the philosophers stone the window to our souls, the revealer the ravener the denoument of our struggle. Then it shall be posted. The next to the last turn had us killing off. 1 Firefly, 1 Priest (his) and 1 Panther (mine) This turn will make the fields of Flanders and the Somme blush....

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Official 3000th poster to the original Peng thread and present at it's demise

[von shrad]

adorc -(croda backwards for those less fortunate)Here you come crying like a sitcom little girl starved for attention. Marsha, Marsha, Marsha.

"I said that first. Somebody look at me."

Well Jan Brady, you are right. I'll give you that one and assure you that even though you have been at this forum about as long as mayonnaise stays good in the sun, it will not be used again by me. I can't help it that Herr ovaries fits so well. OOPS, said it again.That's it.From now on I will just stick to Herr Eggbert.But don't expect me to make any more concessions you little puke!! Your troops will be slaughtered to the man. Send me that set-up Mayo-nnaise!

[Lorak]

Ok, I'm still without net access at home. So turns are still delayed. Having a cable modem installed next monday.... (damn, going to be a long week.)

Did manage to get the games updated.

Meeks-win

OBSF-loss

Berli-loss

Germanyboy-win.

Will try to download my turns and take them home, then bring them back in and mail them.

Lorak

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"Do not wait to strike till the iron is hot; but make it hot by striking."--William Butler Yeats

Cesspool

[PeterNZer]

Lorak!

you mad fool!

I have yet to be squirerered! Leave my name off your stinky list till I whoop Germygirl and he admits I am worthy or something. Well ask him about it anyway

Can't get good help these days. And as for you lot who i'm battling, I shall taunt you in the morning when taunting, like a cowpat, is fresh and steamy.

PeterNZ

[OGSF]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Lorak:

Did manage to get the games updated.

Meeks-win

OBSF-loss

Lorak

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Well thank you for bringing up such a painful memory - why don't you just give me a paper cut and pour lemon juice into it?

OberGrupenBloodyStompinFeuhrerBastard

Hiram?

[jdmorse]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by PeterNZer:

I have yet to be squirerered! Leave my name off your stinky list till I whoop Germygirl and he admits I am worthy or something.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

You ARE worth nothing, however you have displayed a certain elan if tactical incompetence that seem to match my own. Squires do not have the respect of the kniggits, ever. So win yur spurs boyo, but as a boon I shall grant ye, that of being sponsored, call be irresponsible or irresistible, at least you haven't yet beaten me ( wait till the AAR screen there me bucko) You have a fond place in my heart (sitdown Gerbilboy) for Combatvision and your taunts have proceeded apace. I see some promise in you. Squires do not choose their sponsor, so Croda, heat up the branding iron and affix the mark. I'm sure you'll enjoy rooming with Croda, he's had his shots ya know.

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Official 3000th poster to the original Peng thread and present at it's demise

[This message has been edited by jdmorse (edited 10-23-2000).]

[Herr Oberst]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by von shrad:

adorc -(croda backwards for those less fortunate)Here you come crying like a sitcom little girl starved for attention. Marsha, Marsha, Marsha.

"I said that first. Somebody look at me."

Well Jan Brady, you are right. I'll give you that one and assure you that even though you have been at this forum about as long as mayonnaise stays good in the sun, it will not be used again by me. I can't help it that Herr ovaries fits so well. OOPS, said it again.That's it.From now on I will just stick to Herr Eggbert.But don't expect me to make any more concessions you little puke!! Your troops will be slaughtered to the man. Send me that set-up Mayo-nnaise!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Hmm...

Let's see:

15 pts for originality (adorc, LOL)...

25 pts for the Brady Bunch slight...

65 pts for the Mayo-nnaise reference...

for a whopping total of 105 pts!!!

Yes, ladies and, er, nevermind, there ain't no ladies around here...

Yes fellow slime, vonSchtupper does seem to have what it takes. I shall indeed send him a setup.

What to do...

What to do...

*evin grin*

Aaahhh, c'est parfait!!

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To the last I grapple with thee; from hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee...

[Seanachai]

Well, well. Indeed, and again, well, well. Just a word, perhaps, or mayhap more than one, to my very dear chums ianc and Moriarity. These opponents, fine members of their communities, I am sure, were recently defeated by myself in PBEM. Ianc, who originally posted here (I believe before P1K) and does not presently post here, but who I will force, now, to check in so that he can see what new abuse I have heaped upon him, barely squeaked out a defeat in our last game. Moriarity was defeated more soundly, after a very good game in which he fought the good fight, but terrain, and, of course, all the gods, were against him. Both these, by courtesy and courtesy alone, Gentlemen, have engaged me in rematches. Ianc claimed that the game went on so long, and so evenly, that being subjected to my wonderfully witty and literate emails finally found him shooting his own troops in an attempt to end the game. Moriarity used as his defense the fact that having to work in the same building with Bauhaus so disturbed him that he found concentration all but impossible, and sometimes spent hours a night watching the local aviation/weather map reportage channel.

So, as a Sportsman and all round Good Egg, I gave each of them another PBEM slot in my busy round of putting mere mortals in touch with humility (nothing like a loss to the man who 'Lost to Peng' to cast down the arrogant, and rehabilitate the sullied honour of Peng). And so, I received their setups. Where shall I start? Why not with ianc.

Ianc. Dear ianc (are you related to chrisl?) What kind of traumatic childhood experience leads someone into such a complete loss of imagination, pride, and self-image that when asked to choose a name, they use first name last initial all in lowercase? I imagine it was a case of having your father come into your rooms late at night, seat himself on a chair, and begin whispering lies into the ears of the supposedly sleeping tykes.

In any case, ianc, I received the setup. Yes, in a Combined Arms operation, having given me the Germans to play with their vehicle heavy table of organization, I opened your setup to discover we were playing on a rural, significant, no, make that 'total' tree coverage, major hills. When the file finished loading, and the map opened before me, my first thought was: My goodness, isn't that Julie sodding Andrews in a nun's habit singing her guts out over there on that alp? My second thought was: Well, we'll never know, now will we, because there's no way any of my troops will ever reach a point where they can see the silly cow through all these fornicating trees, now will they?! As I began to set up my units with an eye to maneuver, I couldn't help but notice that the few trails where I might have hoped to maneuver a vehicle of any sort, including an ATV, were already blocked with the bones of goats that had gotten wedged trying to proceed forward and were unable to either advance or retreat. Many thanks for this wonderful tour of 'The Hills are Alive, With the Sound of Impassible Terrain'.

And Moriarity, my chum. I'm so very sorry it's taken me so long to return my troop setup to you. Most of the delay has been caused by the fact that I can't find the bleeding map, let alone my own units. I finally had to turn weather off just to get a sense of what I was attacking. Intriguing terrain. Not that it matters a ****e, since none of our forces will ever see any of it, including the portions that rise up to smack them in the face as they die. I worried less about a good tactical setup than I did about keeping my units close enough to each other so they don't continuously shoot each other by mistake. You lunatic sod, do you realize I purchased units that can't even open fire without injuring themselves? That your setup giving us 'high' quality units is about as useful as giving dead people 'The Best in Health Care?' My ultra-elite troops, the twelve of them not armed with frigging weapons completely useless in the environment you've chosen for us to fight in, will now creep forward to bite your sodding ankles, which is the first, and very likely only, portion of your bastards that we will ever see.

Next time, please let me know that my mortars will be only useful as awkward clubs, that any vehicle other than a Flame Carrier will be useless, and that, in fact, any weapon of a greater range and usefulness than a butterfly knife will be completely pointless. How nice for you to get your revenge in the dark and fog. You rotter.

Now, let me just say that Hiram, I hope you never take the path, as my Squire, that these two recreants have chosen. Take the High Road, lad. And, once you're on it, pick up really big, jagged rocks and cast them down on the heads of your enemies. The bastards. More invective coming soon. I'm unhappy with all sorts of useless swine.

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After witnessing exceptional bravery from his Celtic mercenaries, Alexander the Great called them to him and asked if there was anything they feared. They told him nothing, except that the sky might fall on their heads.

[Mark IV]

Here's a quick note to let you pathetic vermin know that I am watching from afar.

Another week or two of traveler's purgatory, and then I am going to kill you all.

I have only caught up with about half this drivel, as I was truly in the wilderness amid the bears and coyotes, literally living on roadkill (which may explain the recent absence of certain regular contributors), without showers, phone jacks, or decent scotch- really not much of a change from here, come to think of it.

I just wanted to share some general ugliness with people who would understand. The closest thing I've seen to a decent explosion in 2 weeks was an attempt to light a campfire with Coleman fuel (successful, to a fault- always hunt with certified organ donors).

Damn anyone who has insulted me in my absence, and damn the rest of you for forgetting me so quickly. I shall return. It won't be pretty.

[Seanachai]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mark IV:

Here's a quick note to let you pathetic vermin know that I am watching from afar.

Another week or two of traveler's purgatory, and then I am going to kill you all.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Well, good then. Mark IV will return.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>I have only caught up with about half this drivel, as I was truly in the wilderness amid the bears and coyotes, literally living on roadkill (which may explain the recent absence of certain regular contributors)<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

And we weren't in the wilderness? God bless the bears and coyotes, I say. They might have had something to contribute. On that other note about roadkill...Shaw? Shaw?! Good, Christ, has anyone else seen Shaw?!!

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>I just wanted to share some general ugliness with people who would understand.

The closest thing I've seen to a decent explosion in 2 weeks was an attempt to light a campfire with Coleman fuel.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I used to have a buddy who'd start up a Weber grill with white gas. He'd light an entire book of matches and pitch it into the grill from about 10 feet away. We'd cook with whatever coals were left after the explosion.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>and damn the rest of you for forgetting me so quickly. I shall return. It won't be pretty.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Some have not forgotten. When you return, send me a setup.

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After witnessing exceptional bravery from his Celtic mercenaries, Alexander the Great called them to him and asked if there was anything they feared. They told him nothing, except that the sky might fall on their heads.

[BFCElvis]

1st defeat since August....Just lost to Peng......I am humbled

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"To conquer death you only have to die" JC

[Seanachai]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Elvis:

1st defeat since August....Just lost to Peng......I am humbled

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Humbled? You little toilet bowl brush, you should stand up on your hind legs and proclaim his majesty. Peng is Risen, Proclaim It!

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After witnessing exceptional bravery from his Celtic mercenaries, Alexander the Great called them to him and asked if there was anything they feared. They told him nothing, except that the sky might fall on their heads.

[Bullethead]

It grieves me to relate that, due to the non-cooperation of 3/4 of my current slate of victims, most of this news update will have to consist of various takes on SEND ME A DAMN FILE!!

The sole exception to this sad parade is SheepNZbed, who did in fact send me the initial movie of our 1500m Dash scenario. Things are off to an exciting start with 2 dozen armored cars (12 Daimlers and 12 Pumas) roaring flat out side by side across several hundred meters of rolling grassland. Towards the end of the turn, their slow turrets were starting to point in the right directions, but several barrages of mortar smoke sprang up just before they could shoot. Still, it looks like some stragglers on both sides will kill each other early next turn. The leaders have entered the forest and are approaching the first minefields, snapping off shots at each other down the clear alleys between the roads. Meanwhile, far ahead, the pit crews of engineers are preparing for the arrival of the ACs by attempting to gain control of key routes through the town. A nasty infantry fight is shaping up.

This brings us to Gerbiltoy, who failed to send me a turn. Yes, instead of continuing our game, which he initiated by challenging me, he's off playing London Stinky Finger with various other Cesspool degenerates. They're meeting in the squalid men's toilet of the tube station nearest the IWM (I know the place--I had to puke there once after breathing some of the London "fog"), where they have a contest to see who can jerk off the fastest (not so easy as you'd expect, due to the difficulty they have in finding enough to get a grip on). Then they go out onto the street and give unsolicited prostate exams to passers-by, using a different finger each time so they can easily keep score. Afterwards, the group collapses into an orgy of mutual finger sniffing and things get too disgusting to describe even here.

SheepNZbed also attended this debauchery, but at least sent his turn beforehand (thank the Dark Gods, considering what his hand is like afterwards). Therefore, I can only assume Gerbiltoy was so over-awed by visions of 25 FOs and a mule that he's conceded before even giving his first set of orders.

Then we have Geier, who is just incompetent. The file he sent me refuses to load, thanks to his ineptness with the barest rudiments of the CM interface.

Finally, Speedy, who seemed so eager to race me. I lacked time last night to do a proper setup, so I just sent him the whole scenario with instructions to set it up and send me a turn. Today, I get nothing from him. Is he also suffering from Gerbiltoy Syndrome?

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-Bullethead

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is strength, in water there is bacteria.

[ianc]

Well well. I've not ventured here for many a moon, but it appears that I've been criminally dragged here for a brief, infecting guest appearance since I cannot possibly allow myself to be taunted in absentia. How foul of you, Skinachey (what sort of rickety cranky name is that anyway? One to teach your offspring to avoid at any cost I believe, but I digress...), to have forced me to return by wielding the threat of my public defenestration without representation!

It is true that you did eke out a marginal advantage over me last time, but this was largely due to the collateral damage induced early on during your senile and quite fantastical raccoon jihad. Couldn't you just see your way clear to give a lower mammal a break? My men were also hampered by a large quantity of kitty litter (the clumping kind) delivered in error to the wrong side of the battlefield which totally fouled their jackboots. Add to these debilitating disadvantages the inane patter constantly emanating from certain inbred characters whom I certainly did not invite, and who could possibly be expected to prevail?

However, I'm glad you've consented to another match, since this time I have some very valuable tutoring laid on for you. The first lesson will be on mountain climbing, what not to do with German tanks, What TO do with American tanks, and what to do when an enemy suddenly appears behind you. I must admit to having a secret fondness for those beefy 12-man US squads as well. Rather makes the average 8 or 9-man German squad look positively squiffy, doesn't it?

All this and more await you in your next publicly available truncation of stature. The psychological effect of the inability to brew up as Germans will also, I'm sure, aid in the further erosion of your already frangible chances for anything more than complete rout. Rip off a few last Horst Wessels while you still have some bogey wheels, because I really think you'll be rather busy shortly...

Your Lord and Master,

ianc

[Seanachai]

Ahem. As difficult as it is for the lay-person (Sit down, Bauhaus!) to believe, we are a self-regulating Thread. Far be it from me, who has 'Lost to Peng' to caution another soul, but even here, amid the lovely, dark, noisome plish-plash of happy rats, we should practice a modicum of restraint, lest we go too far over the top. After all, we are not merely worse than all other threads, we are also better.

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After witnessing exceptional bravery from his Celtic mercenaries, Alexander the Great called them to him and asked if there was anything they feared. They told him nothing, except that the sky might fall on their heads.

[MrPeng]

Warning: The following AAR is from a game created by some bastard calling himself Chanel #5 or Rommmel22 or Bung69 or some moronic nonsense such as that. The warning is regarding the balance of the scenario: there is none. This is not a scenario for playing, this is a scenario for avoiding. Give this one a wide berth, unless of course you are enamoured of afterbirth or other icky feminine plumbing issues. This game is fun if you are the sort who finds great sporting adventure, and a manly, hunter-gatherer sense of accomplishment by pouring gasoline down rabbit holes, setting them alight, and then bashing the bunnies with great huge clobbering thingies (DOWN bauhaus!) as the burning beasts stagger out of the hole in flambe.

It just so happens that elvis was a bunny and I sat in the clobbering chair.

Oh yes, he whined and moaned on this very board about what an unfair shelacking he was getting because the game was "unbalanced" so I got a bit cocky and decided to speed up the pace of the rodent smashing a bit, by getting closer to the bunny den, and by gawd if my friggin hair (what is left of it), eyebrows, nose and ear-hairs and several layers of skin didn't get burned clean off!

Well I had to regroup a bit: got a hairpiece with a nice, snug chinstrap, smoothed a bit of Dr 'Fatboy' Henry's Miracle anti-itch, sting burn cream on my tender parts, and drank 8 or nine strong gin and tonics (lime wedges a'plenty - yes G&T is out of season, but it has been unseasonably warm around here).

I then commenced with a new plan of bunny burning, from a goodly distance, with 75mm shells, pazer fausts and demo charges instead of gasoline and a 2x4.

This did the trick. The AAR reflects that brief period when, like many of us can, I temporarily lost my mind, and convinced myself that driving 125 miles per hour while stoned on reds, reefer, sambuca and beer is not likely to result in anything too troublesome.

Gentleworms, I give you the numbers:

Army of Peng:

88 casualties (29 KIA)

5 vehilces lost

156 men OK

Score: 65

Elvis' Graceland Guard:

200 casualties (6o KIA)

35 captured (due to humiliating surrender)

2 81mm mortars destroyed

2 57mm AT Guns

8 Vehicles knocked out

Score: 35

I would just like to point out here the kill stats for one Panther (one of three - the other two were killed either by Stuarts or the 57 mm AT or even Greyhounds...who knows? who cares?! it is emabarrasing regardless of the killer's identities):

9 infantry casualties

2 Greyhounds

2 57 mm AT guns

1 Truck

1 Stuart

1 M3A1 HT

Pretty much the other side's OOB eh? So why did I have the other TWO Panthers? Word of caution to fellow playground strafers: "There are some unbalanced scenarios out there. Only play the ones you know are created by reputable designers, and that have been tested by other humans."

OK

well, 3 hours till rise and shine.

buh bye

Peng

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"I hope a bucket of nails falls on your head..."

Hamsters/Meeks(!)

[Moriarty]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Seanachai:

And Moriarity, my chum. I'm so very sorry it's taken me so long to return my troop setup to you. Most of the delay has been caused by the fact that I can't find the bleeding map, let alone my own units. I finally had to turn weather off just to get a sense of what I was attacking. Intriguing terrain. Not that it matters a ****e, since none of our forces will ever see any of it, including the portions that rise up to smack them in the face as they die. I worried less about a good tactical setup than I did about keeping my units close enough to each other so they don't continuously shoot each other by mistake. You lunatic sod, do you realize I purchased units that can't even open fire without injuring themselves? That your setup giving us 'high' quality units is about as useful as giving dead people 'The Best in Health Care?' My ultra-elite troops, the twelve of them not armed with frigging weapons completely useless in the environment you've chosen for us to fight in, will now creep forward to bite your sodding ankles, which is the first, and very likely only, portion of your bastards that we will ever see.

Next time, please let me know that my mortars will be only useful as awkward clubs, that any vehicle other than a Flame Carrier will be useless, and that, in fact, any weapon of a greater range and usefulness than a butterfly knife will be completely pointless. How nice for you to get your revenge in the dark and fog. You rotter.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

My dear Sasquatch, am I to infer from this pile of gibberish that there is something aboot (I'll use the Canadian for your benefit) the map that displeases you?

Do you mean to say that you did not use the opportunity of selecting high-quality troops to choose those who are highly skilled and know how to use weapons of extremely high firepower at short range.

If that be the case, then I can say only that the immortal words of Lt. Harris ("Police Academy") come to mind: "Too bad, so sad. Bye, bye."

Of course, you have the option of surrendering now, if you like.

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"Why don't you say something righteous and hopeful for a change?" — Oddball

"Crap." — Moriarty

[This message has been edited by Moriarty (edited 10-24-2000).]

[Bullethead]

Ianc croaked:

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>The first lesson will be on mountain climbing, what not to do with German tanks, What TO do with American tanks, and what to do when an enemy suddenly appears behind you.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

This wouldn't involve a volcano named Mount Geschosskopf in Valhalla, would it?

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-Bullethead

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is strength, in water there is bacteria.