Peng, I Am Still Taking Our Bloody Challenge Public

[Guest YK2]

Time for me to bow out and do what I do best.

Back to lurking mode for me.

Cya all in Hell someday...

[Geier]

As you all know I defeated the Master of Uselessness Gerbils Toy in a game that we played for three quarters of an eternity.

What you don't know (and given your limited grasp of anything outside of your trousers that is a lot. Really.) is that it was a mother-beautiful game with the ending reaching almost Shakespearian levels.

In short, everybody died. And there is beauty in that.

The setup: The map was taken from the film

"The foggy hill that God and everyone else forgot" and featured hills and trees and more trees. Almost no open ground. Just trees and hills with fog on top. And it was beautiful.

Herr Gerbils had Veteran Gebirgsgerbils, dug in snugly in little hamsterholes, a full company it was, supported by a Veteran Gebirgsgerbil Heavy company. If you've met gebirgsgerbils you know that they have tons of lovely lovelies that go brrrap brrrrap whenever they spot you.

Despite this, Herr Gerbils found new and interesting ways to get them killed and basically had no clue of what was going on.

At one point he performed a glorious little counter-assault, killed some US hamsters and shouted with joy and glee.

When he looked around him he discovered that the VL's were behind him.

And my hamsters were suddenly between him and the VL's.

That was also beautiful.

The Forces of Depravity (that is my troops) consisted of a coy of US Hamsters from a potato field in Idaho, supported by a heavy coy and a platoon of the friendly neighborhood Engineer Hamsters (who smoked crack).

End result:

16 Gerbils surrendered and were promptly treated to some interesting medieval encouragment methods. Everyone else was dead, blown to bits, barbecued on sticks, wounded in nasty places or deader than doornails.

The 90 remaining Hamsters from Idaho feasted on the remains and sung "It's a long way to Tippers reary end".

And that was also beautiful.

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Johan

"The succesful execution of a well devised plan often looks like luck to saps."

Dashiell Hammett

[Guest Germanboy]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Geier:

As you all know I defeated the Master of Uselessness Gerbils Toy in a game that we played for three quarters of an eternity.

What you don't know (and given your limited grasp of anything outside of your trousers that is a lot. Really.) is that it was a mother-beautiful game with the ending reaching almost Shakespearian levels.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I must say, a lesser man than Geier (i.e. 99% of the posters in this thread, except for YK2, assuming she's a woman) would have thrown in the towel a long time before that result. It was beautiful. And if it was not for the stuff I am currently doing to the Master of Evil, I would almost be bothered by it. Well done Geier - I loathe you.

In other news. Blousehose is currently displaying a modicum of sense in troop deployment. It does not help him,since the Wasp I brought along stung two of his platoons into broken! oblivion before being despatched to meet the flames of hell by a Mk.IV that I will have soon. This is going well, although the PBI is busy paying the ultimate price for the defeat of Jerry. Such is life, or death, or somefink.

In yet other news. Geier and his wife (who I am sure was the guiding hand behind my defeat) have now become suckers for Altan.

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Andreas

[Lorak]

ahh, another loss for the Lorak. to...Seanachai.

What can I say? He promised me my Chinchilla teams! What did I get?!

A damn flock of seagulls!

And they ran, the ran so far away.

They just ran, they could not get away, couldn't get away.

Lorak the loathed

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"Do not wait to strike till the iron is hot; but make it hot by striking."--William Butler Yeats

Cesspool

[Seanachai]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by bauhaus:

Or you could become a couple, have 1.5 children, live in a suburb, drive a blazer and live happily ever after. Love is in the air.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Huh, if we did, Bauhaus you wretch, you'd be the .5 child.

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After witnessing exceptional bravery from his Celtic mercenaries, Alexander the Great called them to him and asked if there was anything they feared. They told him nothing, except that the sky might fall on their heads.

[Chupacabra]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Lorak:

What did I get?!

A damn flock of seagulls!

Lorak the loathed

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Boy, what barber do you go to? The Flock of Seagulls look has been out for 15 years...

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Soy super bien, soy super super bien, soy bien bien super bien bien bien super super.

[BFCElvis]

I take very little stock in the date of someones profile. Mine was reset when the board crashed with the release of the Gold demo.

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"To conquer death you only have to die" JC

[Seanachai]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Lorak:

ahh, another loss for the Lorak. to...Seanachai.

What can I say? He promised me my Chinchilla teams! What did I get?!

A damn flock of seagulls!

And they ran, the ran so far away.

They just ran, they could not get away, couldn't get away.

Lorak the loathed

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

True, and it's apparently having deletarious effects on you. Lorak's troops, as we all know, had come to the peaceful little valley where our combat took place to visit a small wood in the center of the map, there to erect a brass plaque to the effect that Erwin Rommel had once pulled off the road there and took a pee (given how far the Feld Marshall had strolled off into the woods, I'm thinking there might have been more to it than that).

Anyway, vowing to resist any such 'evil German' business, my brave Brits secured the forest, in a few short turns blew up all of Lorak's various HT (this was a 'Mechanized' only battle), and then rather light-heartedly butchered his troops who attempted to make a series of rather odd rushes on the VLs. Lorak then withdrew, apparently to brood, become more manic, and move heavily into his 'Loathed' mode, then, when my boys had become some what bored and gone poking around in the bushes to see what had become of him and invite his lads to give up the plaque willingly and join them for a bit of a sing-song, he rushed forth like a rabid weasel and began tearing at everything in sight. Finally, his ammunition exhausted and despondent over the apparent loss of the plaque they had come there to put up, he surrendered, giving my boys a Major Allied victory.

Right now I have my lads all singing the Captain's song from HMS Pinafore while prodding his sullen and surrendered troops through the underbrush searching for the lost plaque, which will then grace my offices as a legitimate trophy of war. Chupacabra, you're quite wrong to loathe Gilbert and Sullivan, as they are most amusing. In fact, I may be forced to do a Musical Comedy version of the Cesspool. I think it's a natural for such treatment, actually. Good on you, Roborat, for using G&S, and shame on me for not recognizing it.

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After witnessing exceptional bravery from his Celtic mercenaries, Alexander the Great called them to him and asked if there was anything they feared. They told him nothing, except that the sky might fall on their heads.

[Seanachai]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by jshandorf:

Hey! What Cesspooligans other than Seanachai and myself are from the Twin Cities in Minnesota?

I was thinking we could swap insults and looks of boredom over a few cheap beers somewhere.

Speak if you dare!

Jeff<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Oops, missed this post earlier while trying to read the Thread at work while attempting to look like I was doing something significant and appropriate (like unclog a toilet) with another fine Microsoft product. I don't think there are any other Cesspool Minnesotans, they are all either foreigners or lesser americans. I wouldn't mind staring into the demented, beady eyes of another Cesspooler (I prefer it through a x10 scope, even over beers, but it does kill conversation, as it were), and as a fellow Minnesotan I suppose our esprit requires a game, so send me a setup. I prefer Commonwealth troops, but will play any side, 1,000-1,500 points, and I believe we should forego snow, as we will be arse deep in that any time now, as it is.

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After witnessing exceptional bravery from his Celtic mercenaries, Alexander the Great called them to him and asked if there was anything they feared. They told him nothing, except that the sky might fall on their heads.

[Seanachai]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by YK2:

Time for me to bow out and do what I do best.

Back to lurking mode for me.

Cya all in Hell someday...

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Oh, bugger, now look what you lot have done. I thought YK2 gave the place some tone. Never even got a game from her. Oh, well, maybe she'll return. Now, that aside, I'd like to see a little less about 'thingies', for that matter. Some of you people are beginning to make Bauhaus look like the Bard of Avon, for the gods' sake. Let us get a grip on something other than ourselves, shall we?

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After witnessing exceptional bravery from his Celtic mercenaries, Alexander the Great called them to him and asked if there was anything they feared. They told him nothing, except that the sky might fall on their heads.

[Bullethead]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally burbled by Gerbiltoy:

Roight, that does it! You mothballed radarfried tubehugging beekeeping brewbarrel. 1,500 points at 500 yards. Send me a setup once the excuses you are so fond of serving up have been removed.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I ask nothing better. Thank you for volunteering to be the next test bunghole in my experiments with the bayonet-mounted proctoscope. You shall have your set-up even if it takes getting a new ISP. Until then, continue dying of dropsy.

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-Bullethead

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is strength, in water there is bacteria.

[Bullethead]

Chupacabra whined:

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>this was hardly a proper taunt at all, I'm telling Mama<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

And what's that supposed to accomplish? Make me die of remorse? How can I, when it obviously incited you to rise from your wallow in the offal and complain? Go back to sucking on goats.

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-Bullethead

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is strength, in water there is bacteria.

[Chupacabra]

Ah, Mullethead. You saunter in here, offer up a sissy taunt that wouldn't even rile my dear, dead grandmaw, and your brilliant comeback amounts to little more that, "Oh yeah? Well...same to you, you....jerk!"

Sound off like you got a pair, son. Or at least sound off like you've got one.

[Moriarty]

Game Update:

Goanna: Should have surrendered but insisted on playing to the draw.

Chuppy: Nothing going right in this one ... he's just kicking the **** out of my feeble forces. I may lay claim to the newest low score in the 'pool ... yes, even lower than 93-7.

Geier: See "Chuppy" above. This one's not quite as hopeless yet, but I'm trying.

Lorak: I've redoubled my efforts to lose, but TC Schutz is enjoying himself and blowing Lorak's gum-chewers back to the phlegm they came from.

Blousehaus: One Hetzer away from reclaiming MY town.

Berli: Next couple of turns should determine how things will go.

Hiram: The little sneak ran an AC around my flank ... but he's about to meet Mr. Sherman.

jdmorse: He's having a grand ol' time leveling every building in sight.

Peng: He thinks he's doing better than he is.

Pawbroon: Same as Peng. Are they related?

Seanachai: I've been tardy in returning the setup. I have seen the map and it's very, very bad for both of us. Yow.

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"Why don't you say something righteous and hopeful for a change?" — Oddball

"Crap." — Moriarty

[MrPeng]

Gentleworms:

90% of the cesspoolers said:

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>

mindless drivel...{insert graphic description of death and dying here}...blah blah blah...{insert bad poetry or stolen song lyrics here}...words words words...{insert potty humor here}...incoherent nonsense...{insert EAASL silliness here}...snar snar snar...{insert sexual innuendo here(not to be confused with aforementioned potty humor)Sit DOWN bauhaus!}...blather blather blather...{insert shopworn threats and taunts here}...

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

That about sums it up. I agree 100%.

Peng

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"I hope a bucket of nails falls on your head..."

Hamsters/Meeks(!)

[Stuka]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Moriarty:

I may lay claim to the newest low score in the 'pool ... yes, even lower than 93-7.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

93-7 ?? Oh dear, tut tut. what an embarrassing score. How can you live with yourself? I am ashamed to think that my knight is an under achiever of such biblical proportions. How am I supposed to operate under such mediocre tutorledge?

Hmmm, 93-7 ? That rings a bell.......

Errk! Forget all I've said. It could be worse. Keep up the good work Moriarty, your'e my hero.

[Guest *Captain Foobar*]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR> Originally posted by Roborat:

You dare to insult my sponsor, you untutored heathen, that's my job. Accordingly, I am compelled to challenge you to a duel, (pulls out a frozen frozen herring and slaps "*Captain Foobar*" across the face). Send your setup, only conditions are that I am Canadian, (or at least British, no loud mouth, poorly dressed, rude yankees for me, thank you very much), and we will commence the knees bent advancing behavior. My gopher brigade will teach you some manners, or at least provide the comedy relief.

This is a limited time offer, and as I am still new to this game, it will be your only chance to brag, in your declining years, that you once defeated the immortal (or immoral, your choice) Roborat in battle. This is also open to any other of you wanna-be squires.

And since I didn't get any complaints, my sig is back, at least till I find something better, so bite me if you don't like it

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

File coming your way, Roborat. We will do a qwik battle, you as some sort of moral coward Allied type. 1000 points, meeting engagement, dry. I will withhold any insults until I gain your trust, which allows me to find out intimate details of your personal life.

I don't know what happened to YK2 (bowing out and all), but you will do just as well.

[Guest *Captain Foobar*]

Oh, and about elitism, if you weren't here at least a couple of weeks before the beta demo was released, you are a loser.

[Herr Oberst]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Elvis:

I take very little stock in the date of someones profile. Mine was reset when the board crashed with the release of the Gold demo.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

That was not a crash!

The board disgorged itself of all those unworthy of such divine history. So great was my faith that I pre-ordered on the date I registered, in the dark times that predate the first release, the Gold Demo, or even the first inklings of the Cesspool.

All hail The Game Engine that hath spawned The Thread.

[Herr Oberst]

PityNZ,

How dare you sir!!

Wait, what am I saying...

How dare you scum!!

Okay, okay, the first time Sgt Rocky took a few shots at your Hamstercan with his 'zook and missed, I was miffed. He was staring straight down the barrel on those shots. Even the bravest gerbil may have second thought in that case. May God rest his soul, the poor crispy critter...

Now, a few turns later, another of your hamstercans, turning full broadside to Sgt Bullwinkle, somehow manages to avoid getting killed by three consecutive bazooka shots. Sgt Bullwinkle was not fired upon nor harassed in any manner.

After watching that turn's movie in disgust, I had an excerpt taken from the film, enlarged (yes, just like your ego, but not quite so big), and analyzed.

And do you know what I found?!?

Sure enough, stamped right there on the side of the 'zook tube,

<h1>G.I. Bazooka</h1>

<h1>Made in Hamsterville</h1>

This product is warranted perform as expected (except when said product is aimed at a hamstercan. In said case, you can expect shots to go long, short, left, and any other manner of awry, but never, never can you expect a shot to go straight ahead).

Damnable hamster equipment...

Moral of the story: Never accept a setup from WeaselNZ ever again without carefully checking the equipment.

(so miffed I can't type cleanly)

[This message has been edited by Herr Oberst (edited 10-19-2000).]

[iggi]

I rarely stop by this thread. Here is something funny. It is appropriate for the thread.

www.joedean.com/abc.htm

[Guest YK2]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Seanachai:

Oh, bugger, now look what you lot have done. I thought YK2 gave the place some tone. Never even got a game from her. Oh, well, maybe she'll return.

.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Check your mailbox cretin, I sent it before my last post.

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And the proper plural form would be "bananas ARE my business"! Sheeesh!

[chrisl]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by The Cheesehead who pretends he's a minnesotan who wants to be canadian:

Cesspool Minnesotans, they are all either foreigners or lesser americans. I believe we should forego snow, as we will be arse deep in that any time now, as it is.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I went to Evil Doctor School in Minnesota (lived on the edge of downtown Mpls the whole time), but if you called me a minnesotan I'd probably have to crush you in a game with mostly mech troops (representative of my current place of residence).

You sure have a big mouth for a minnesotan-- musta been too much time at the U. I'm also a bit surprised that you haven't been demanding a scandinavian mod-- your troops could say things like "Sven- got any more of that lutefisk", or "Sure looks like snow, Ole" And all the tanks would have rusted off bumpers held on with string.

I suppose with it nearing halloween you're about due for a ton of snow...

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Slayer of the Original Cesspool Thread.

[OGSF]

*cough* I just lost a game to Meeks, (remember him?) - Lorak, if you would do the honors. Given the thrashing he has recently received from Shandorf, Cpt Foobar and me in our last game, it should buck up his spirits, eh?

Now to dust off the old armour and head on back out there to give him the kicking he richly deserves!!

OberGrupenBloodyStominFeuhrerBastard

[Roborat]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by *Captain Foobar*:

File coming your way, Roborat. We will do a qwik battle, you as some sort of moral coward Allied type. 1000 points, meeting engagement, dry. I will withhold any insults until I gain your trust, which allows me to find out intimate details of your personal life.

I don't know what happened to YK2 (bowing out and all), but you will do just as well. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Oh goody, sounds like fwun, bwing it on, Just remember, I prefer not to play those rude muricans, they talk to loud and wear my flag when travelling, thus despoiling Canuck goodwill world wide.

Worst of all, they make their beer way to weak, like it's some kind of diluted, training beer, fit only for kids, until they can handle the real stuff. Grounds for insult and derision right there, I say.

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"With cat-like tread, Upon our prey we steal;

In silence dread, Our cautious way we feel." -G&S