37mm

Knowing you I expect you'll write an overly melodramatic post in which you'll try, ever so hard, to convince anyone still reading that you're a necessary evil for the long term health of the Peng thread and that you rightly deserve your ridiculously lengthy title. This is a demonstrably false belief.

Well you might be able to get some kind of perverse kick out of it but me I'm just put off by this kind of ridiculous 'I'll pretend to hate you & you can pretend to hate me & then we'll pull each others hair & then we can kiss & make up, *hehehehe-girlie giggles*' role-playing nonsense…

Well I'm sorry if my beautiful & moving description didn't please you but can I ask where exactly was the bile in your whining “I can’t fly my aeroplane will someone help me” posts? I accept your criticisms Boo … I will try harder to ‘understand’ Joe in the future

I suppose the second best way to be converted would be by reading AAR's... Try these... http://forums.mzocentral.net/index.php?showtopic=772

Was I questioning? Perhaps I was... Still I can't be the only one who hates seeing the Peng challenge become a caring home for senile incontinents , fly-boy wannabee's & Australians... Where is the HE, the vodka, the morphine? The Nidan1 inspired ‘charge of the light brigade’ tactics? Where are the foul mouthed insults & proclamations of tactical excellence*? Where are stickypiss's boyish cheers as he celebrates destroying a few T-26’s? Where are the experienced veterans gently mocking the naive tactics of their young? Instead we get... “My A4-pegasus is lost in a tail induced radical spin what do I do?” or “I can’t hit a Messerschmitt Mk. IX with my 22 machine guns, what am I doing wrong?” I suppose I despair when I see the ‘ Peng challenge’ being dismantled by the very people who say that they are trying to preserve it in its natural state… * A great example would be “despite the incredible weight & depth of my enemies attack I realised it was unimaginative in its conception I therefore decided to launch a local spoiling attack. All awhile my forces defended bitterly first with machine guns & then with rifles, and when they were spent with pistols & grenades, then they hurled rocks & the still hot recovered shrapnel at the enemy, then they fought hand to hand with spades, knifes & rifle butts, then they fought with teeth & fists & broken limbs. Through this bravery they bought me time enough to launch my attack. The enemy automatons began to panic as they realized they’d been outwitted once again. The enemy broke & my staunch defenders cheered my name”. nowadays we get bland introductions to the stickers on dalems monitor…

I don't understand you've played the demos & you HAVEN'T decided?!?

Well lookee what we have here? Have all the Cesspoolers gone ‘up in the air’? Had enough of the ‘hard grind’ have we? Is it not ‘interesting’ enough anymore for you & your buddies to march bravely through a hail of lead, pour like lava into your enemies defences & wallow in the warm entrails of your former opponents? No! Now we’ve got us a bunch of wannabee fly-boys, all golden hair, clean teeth, fine liquor, smart leather jackets, plump pillows & easy ladies… Perhaps this shouldn’t be called the ‘ Peng challenge’ any more? Perhaps it should be called ‘pie in the sky’? We could replace the challenges with the dialogue you’d expect to hear from people deprived of adequate oxygen... “Hey ‘Hard Goose’ I’m on your tail, my six is high & a 109 is burning down on me” “Okay ‘Maverick’ I’ll cover your four fingers but watch out for Jerry's ack-ack” Worse it is our own 'supposed' Justicar who started all of this aerial nonsense… At least you’re all not singing too much…

I think I'll be gone for a couple of days then... for those poor souls who’ll remain here & need support, remember I'm here in spirit… if not actually

In yet another example of the continuing happiness & ‘substance’ that I bring to the Peng challenge I announce I’ve created a scenario for you all to enjoy*… http://the-proving-grounds.com/scenario_details.html?command=search&db=scenarios.db&eqskudatarq=595 It’s totally unrealistic, it’s ridiculous, it’s probably insulting, it’s kind of like Nidan1 but as a scenario… *And if you don't enjoy it, I kind of win anyway.

I heard a splendid little rumour that because of the success of Rome: Total war the next Combat Mission will be an ancient, Mediterranean naval game with triremes & tides & stuff…

I think 'par say' means I've digressed from my original point; but don’t we have a grammar grog to sort such things out? We should let him earn his pay for once.

I don't think this is wise, the lad is still overcome with excitement and the challenge of multiplying might be just too much. </font>

37mm takes off his squires uniform, mumbles something about ‘ senile spoilsports', puts back on his lab coat & starts counting the legs of thousands of unconscious fruit flies…

Ah yes I heard that was why the 'SdKfz 981 panzerkampffußgänger 1' wasn't built in larger numbers but what about the KwK/99 proton blasters? Surely they could have been used in a smaller PAK version or perhaps a Marder?

Respect the rules... Sod off!!

Does anybody (Rexford?) have any information on the actual penetration value of these weapons (I don't trust CM values & think they've been overmodelled)? Also does anybody know why the Germans didn't produce more of them (I heard it was something to do of with the oil they lost when Romania swapped sides)?

37mm enters the stage resplendent is his new ‘squire’ uniform… its all shiny & buttony, got nice golden lappets, accessorised with a chest full of metals* , it includes more leather than rleete has in his basement/dungeon and I also have a riding crop which I can use to hit inferior sorts like… well pretty much anyone. Everyone not only realises they should be nice & respectful to such an ascendant individual but they are actually awed by such obvious brilliance, many call out… “He is the messiah!” Despite his outward look of strength & confidence he realises (being a humble & wise man who knows his limitations, unlike Joe who really does believe all the nonsense he utters) he still has a few things to learn… In a bold & commanding voice 37mm demands to know… “Who here can make a Peng Challenge title & are they any restrictions on Australians starting them?” • including a couple of ‘I kick butt’ crosses- all first class, a ‘medal of incredible honour- much better than the bog standard ‘medal of honour’ which any cretin could get’, two purple hearts & three green hearts (only awarded to those who suffer incredible injuries, ignore them, gut out their opponents & then, so as not to strain the medical corps, heal themselves), the AT-gunner metal, sharpshooter medal, stone-age weapon usage medal, the ‘excellence in the art of chainsaw wielding’ medal, the pyro medal (awarded for extraordinarily original usage of ampulomets or/and flamethrowers), the ‘top bloke’ medal, the morale medal (awarded for improving the morale of lesser sorts with my hilarious wit), the hand to hand combat medal, the ‘art of combat cooking’ medal (awarded for feeding my men on the bodies of the fallen enemy), the ‘mighty liver medal’ (awarded for my sobriety even after many nights of heavy drinking most unlike stickypiss who starts embarrassingly flirting with Nidan whenever he’s had a shandy too many), a variety of medals from countries who respect my services (including strangely enough a ‘please don’t nuke us medal’ from Tasmania) and a whole bunch of miscellaneous medals that I don’t ever remember being awarded (when was I declared ‘master of the tree’s of Kentucky’ or ‘Lord of the seas around Ireland’?)...

By goote, I think someone needs to offer this fruitwad a squireship.</font>

I don’t even now what this is? Is it a challenge to me? A challenge to those who are brave enough to take me on? Are you setting up a ‘best of three’ tournament between me & someone else? Why do you care if I win or lose? Who are you? What are you? Why are you? How about this for a challenge? If anybody here can find two sentences* written by this jerk that doesn’t make him sound like a total stool sandwich then I will personally change my sig line for two whole days to something of my pleasing! *check out his recent posts they are hilarious

In any 'Meritocracy', any rank of merit is soon up for sale. There is only one 'rank' here: Knight. Any title of standing is an illusion. The 'Olde Ones' aren't a standing, they're a state of being. The Seniour Knights are simply 'the forefathers' of contemporary idiocy. There are offices held, whose duties are often vague, bizarre, or completely insane. They are held by Knights. SSNs are simply tourists. Serfs are tourists who decide they like life on the shores of the Cesspool. Squires are Serfs willing to go swimming. Knights are Squires who've learned how to maneuver a boat. </font>

The worlds greatest Texan wrote... Are you always this melodramatic? Sheesh! I wonder how he reacts when he actually spills some milk?

Technically I'm talkng to stickypiss

Correct. He wants to be Gaylord Focker. Now that, is truly pathetic </font>

Serf, Smurf ... hmmmm, Smurf ... big deal, I still make the determination of when OR IF he'll be raised to Squire. It's a sad day when a member of the Justicariate of the Peng Challenge Thread would use his office to thumb his nose at his Justicar rather than safeguard the sanctity of the Peng Challenge Thread. I blame it on ... well YOU I suppose. Joe </font>