37mm

Until now I just thought a podcast was like an mp3. Yet another great job Joey, also I’m offering to pay towards your $5 a month expenses…how does 23 of your cents sound? [ March 30, 2006, 10:07 AM: Message edited by: Sir 37mm ]

Well I never expected you to agree anyhow… still waiting for Peng ya’see Totally agree with you about the whole Bourbon & coke thing though... agreeing with Seanachai, I’m gonna have that count as my 'good deed for the day'.

True, insulting Joe is a bit like machine gunning fish in a bucket

Hah! Did any of you ill-minded wraiths notice that the Justicar failed COMPLETELY to answer any of my valid (if, looking back with the 20/20 vision of hindsight, confused) arguments? No he did not (and, undoubtedly, no you lot didn’t notice). *Sir 37mm shakes his head solemnly* I think we’ve been here before haven’t we? A brilliant young protagonist, a twisted elderly power-monger and a rubber duck named Booey. Does the Cesspool have to recreate Shakespeare so perfectly ALL the time?

What rot! Shirley it is the individual who is knighted and not the name? This is yet another case of the Justicar being unable to see the tree’s because he’s in a wood… or sumfink Well this tree is gonna get its due no matter what all the owls and foxes and little pixie people say… oh and a bunch of teddybears having a picnic… yeah teddybears, teddybears rock… anyway as I was saying all of the denizens of the forest cannot make my roots go away… though I suppose you lot could probably feed on the roots & weaken the tree though I don’t think owl’s eat roots… pixies probably do, nasty little buggars that they are… they are also crap at CM I’ve never seen anyone lose a dozen vehicles to ammo-less opponents until I played stickypixie… anyway all that I’m saying is that a tree is a tree and even if the tree itself changed it’s name, say from ‘Gerald the tree’ to ‘Henry the Tree’, it cannot become an acorn again… besides if I became an acorn again what’s to say that’d I’d ever be a tree again? I could forever be trapped in sapling-hood by some ‘orrible, ‘rotten to the core’, fungus farm of a tree… say a v42below or even a pixie… although it would be cool to become serf to some teddybear picnickers… Would that be English or French mustard with your ham sandwich my lord? ... I suppose it’d beat making Boo’s bath every bloody day… how Boo got himself so filthy I never could work out… Anyway, back to the subject at hand, I feel that the guiding spirits of the forest (who are often imbued with spirits themselves… or sometimes even wines, beers & such like) should… make me a ham sandwhich… *five minutes later Sir 37mm returns from the kitchen* So as I was saying I call upon the great tree lords to grant me my wish… though Peng will do [ March 25, 2006, 04:21 AM: Message edited by: Sir 37mm ]

More importantly I’ve been considering a new name (to replace Sir Sir 37mm)… ... who likes ‘Lucky K’?

NG Cavscout successfully bred again? I thought he’d been neutered already?

Yo Joey, should the wine guy go on your websites ‘others recognised’ section? Or should we just ignore ‘im?

Dear Peng 5 pages in five months… why don’t you lot give up already?

You know me too well my former liege

I'm listening to the 'Rocky Horror Show' soundtrack... I can't belive it's come to this... ... hope you lot are happy Tuttuuttuttt, touch-me... I want to be dirty

I don’t know which Pengforsaken fracking doped out goth of a German teenager created this bloody virus but if I ever find him I’ll make him eat his damned gay lover… ...feck off ye hell-bound pop-up I don’t want to convert my PC into a telephone! Any way Jill I’m not too you sure what this has to do with you, but what the heck, why don’t you use those seemingly useless digits of yours to humour me & create a new thread? Make sure it’s worthy of a new knight of the Cesspool… a knight of v42below yes, but a knight nonetheless (which is actually more than can be said of v42below himself… that fecker only got it’s knighthood out of pity rather than by some good honest whinging like I)... … Nooooooo!!!! For fecks sake I really don’t want to listen to a dull-arse speech by some unimportant American politician… how can I get rid of these pop-ups? [ March 14, 2006, 04:32 PM: Message edited by: Sir 37mm ]

They married any of those arseholes? [ March 11, 2006, 08:46 AM: Message edited by: Sir 37mm ]

Didn’t I wish you away already?

Toad. I have a marvellous attitude… one of the best, if I do say so myself. I’m also quite particular to the idea of a 'lecture from Peng', sounds like a fine & novel concept perhaps like receiving a damn good thrashing from Stickypixie or a beautiful serenade from NG Cavscout. Either way… carry on and take care. Toad.

Well I think we can all consider ourselves lucky that he’s gone ‘where all good SSN’s go’ as for everything else you wrote, what can I say, you’re whole premise is unsound… Poor show and all

No, no, no, no, and a bloody nay! There are some depths that even I won’t sink too… probably Besides what’s in it for me?… And another besides ‘what’s it to do wiv me?’ … Oh and for the triple beside I should mention that the daft brush ain’t shown up again. Poor show Peng, Poor show

Hmm you must’ve sunk pretty damn quickly… let me guess a Borodino class Battleship?

Look son you’re not impressing me & if you’ ain’t impressing me you ain’t impressing anyone! At the last count I have 36 squires and none of ‘em are worth a dime (I have, by the way, no idea of what a dime's worth is... I mean what's the worth of some kind of pass defence formation?) but I'll tell you sumfink. All of ‘em, and I mean every single bloody useless one of 'em, shows me the proper respect I'm due and bolds by Pengdamn frigging name! PS What the feck is MN?

Sigh... I know, I just know, that I’m going to regret this but here goes. Oh Joe, why should I not cross the bow of the Mikasa at close range? Shirley the chance of totally smashing up the buggar with a full broadside is worth anything it could do in return?

I agree… not with the wholly misplaced blame regarding the arrival of the 24th (!!) Timu … no I mean I agree with how surprising it is that this thread still hasn’t been locked up. However Seanachai hasn’t shown up yet & seeing how he’s probably still pissed off with me (cos he’s Welsh & there ain’t nothing that even I can do to help him) I’m reckoning there is a high likelihood of him pulling off some kind of dirty rotten ‘Olde One’ trick (like there’s any other kind). Still at least this one made it to page 2.

Link added to the end of the AAR

PENG VERSUS SIR 37MM AAR Our battle fleet, in line abreast formation and travelling westerly, first sighted the enemy squadron 6000 yards away. On our portside were the Stuart class Destroyers Shevchenko, Mace and Nevitt. Then came the M10 class Battlecruisers Bader, Murphy, Grilli and Lynch. Followed by the Vaughan (flanked on either side by the Destroyers Zimmer and Butare ) and, further along the line, the Mack, Collins, Goldstein and Wodzinski. The most starboard position was taken by the destroyer Cutler. Lord Admiral Sir 37mm, aboard the flagship Bader, ordered most of his ships to fire smoke rounds towards the enemy whilst rapidly closing the range (a logical tactic considering the enemies superior gunnery especially that of the Tiger class Dreadnaughts). Almost immediately accurate enemy fire began to plunge around Sir 37mm’s ships (indeed the Lynch was struck almost immediately) causing some chaos whilst his fleet manoeuvred. As the first enemy squadron became blocked from view a new one appeared further to the North. The Nevitt engaged what appeared to be the first of two Mark IV class Battlecruisers (later three) at just over 7000 yards before smoke obscured targeting. It later became apparent that the measly 3.7” shells of the Nevitt had amazingly managed to cause fatal damage to the Schafa . At 3:11 the destroyer Zimmer, isolated ahead of the fleet, was struck by a volley of 7.5” shells and quickly caught alight. At 4:15 a Tiger class Dreadnaught, the Junckel , was spotted leading the northernmost division. It was engaged at 4000 yards by the Cutler, Butare and Goldstein but only the Cutler could score any hits and these seemed to have little effect. The Vaughan & Lynch tried their luck at 5200 yards but again could score no hits. At 5:38 the ships of the other enemy squadron (Later confirmed as the Mark IV Battlecruisers Dreggar and Bernhardt ) reappeared out of the smokescreen & engaged the Nevitt and Mace at less than 5000 yards. During its manoeuvrings to escape this enemy the Shevchenko was bracketed by the ships of the Northern squadron. At 6:29 7.5” and 8.8” salvoes from the Gerla and the Jenckel quickly tore the destroyer apart whilst shortly afterwards 7.5” inch salvoes from the Sehmel knocked out much of the main armament of the Lynch . Things were starting to look bad for the fleet of Sir 37mm . Things got worse when at 7:29 the Collins was put out of action by an 8.8” salvo fired from the Jenckel. It was at this point that Sir 37mm decided he needed to concentrate all of the firepower of his fleet at either one of the two squadrons whilst isolating the other by smoke & dust… did I say dust? I meant more engine smoke. Sir 37mm chose to attack the squadron to the North (i.e. the one furthest from the majority of his fleet & led by a confirmed dreadnaught rather than the suspected dreadnaught of the other). The first result of this decision and Sir 37mm’s awful manoeuvring was the sinking of the Vaughan at the hands of the Gerla at 8:29 (although this was avenged somewhat by the Bader setting alight the Gerla at 8:49). The Bader was then badly struck at 9:52. At 10:11 the Nevitt , despite penetrating the Bernhardt , was mortally wounded and then blown to pieces, with the loss of all hands, at 10:18; the Mace was also severely damaged at 10:50 and went under at 11:11. At 12:50 the Cutler heavily struck the Sehmel forcing it to fall out of line & undertake emergency repairs. At 13:47 the Cutler began sinking, the reasons for which are still unknown (best theory is an unseen volley from the Jenckel). Around the same time the Mack, Goldstein and Wodzinski began their charge towards the Jenckel . They briefly came under fire from the southern squadron at ranges approaching 8000 yards but to no effect. At 14:22 the Jenckel emerged out of a squall and engaged the Mack at only 1100 yards. The Jenckel’s huge cannons shattered the Mack with its first salvo. The Goldstein and Wodzinski closed even further (incredibly missing with their first salvos) yet the Goldstein couldn’t hit the Jenckel even at 770 yards. The Jenckel first smashed apart the Goldstein’s frontal weapons and then fatally struck it at 15:30; the Goldstein went under at 15:37. Meanwhile the captain of the Wodzinski appears to have panicked, changed course & headed back into the smoke bank... sigh With the repairs on the Sehmel complete the Sehmel returned to the line and quickly scored success, sinking the practically defenceless Lynch at 16:44. The Butare returned fire & scored some success penetrating the Sehmel and forcing it out of the line yet again. The Butare was then hit below the waterline by the Jenckel and capsized at 17:28. Meanwhile Sir 37mm grouped his remaining ships the Grilli and the Murphy around his (damaged) flagship the Bader, for another (yes another) attack on the quadruple damned Jenckel. This more than any other action shows the tremendously stupi... brave nature of Sir 37mm (I’m sure even Peng was trying to talk me out of it). Stupidit... bravery aside Sir 37mm’s flagship soon developed ‘serious engine trouble’ forcing him to stay behind & leave the glory for the Grilli and Murphy. Shortly afterwards the Sehmel once again returned to the line. Meanwhile the Wodzinski came out of its smoke bank, once again failed to engage the Jenckel , was hit at 19:23, sunk at 19:29 and had all it’s few remaining crew killed by enemy fire at 19:34 (the bastards)… sigh Strangely enough the second charge against the Jenckel was a bit of an anti climax… 2nd Petty Ensign Peng seemingly believed that he’d caused enough death that day & withdrew his ships from the fight. He was sort of right... I suppose that technically he can claim a kind of ‘tactical victory’. I hope he fecking enjoys it. Note: I suspect that the style of this battle report has somewhat been influenced by my rapidly growing obsession with a game-to-be-released called Distant Guns. [ March 04, 2006, 07:12 AM: Message edited by: Sir 37mm ]

Okay people the magic number is almost upon us so here is our new home

The Rules… (Short & sweet version) (4X) We want to know where you come from and what your email address is… well we don’t but that’s beside the point really so display the required info on your profile or the Justicar will get right worked up. (triple-a) Try and amuse at least some of us. (XO) Don’t upset the Olde Ones, Ladies or your betters (everyone here most likely) (VVVc) Any bigotry crap really won’t be appreciated here (eco) When that Michael Emyrs shows up (as he always does… bloody Horsemen of the Apocalypso are like that you see) belittle him (zip) Challenge someone... preferably someone as lowly as yourself There are other rules of course but it would probably take me several weeks to write them all down… which would be a pointless exercise as they change all the time anyway. You’ll of course be expected to know them all… ignorance is not an excuse here in the Cesspool [ March 03, 2006, 07:29 PM: Message edited by: Sir 37mm ]