37mm

‘Bored with your existence’ or ‘suicidal’ same difference. As for England “murdering, oppressing & exploiting” no I don’t think you’re ever gonna get an apology… certainly not from me We’re just not like that you see… I suppose we're rather irritating in that way

You know I thought I was the only one here capable of getting sick… I just kinda assumed you lot made people sick... not vice versa. Either way this revelation has given me a newfound respect for the 34B_Juan and also given me an idea. Considering how suicidal Seanachai appears to be this week and also taking into account the unfortunate nature of rleete… in addition to which must be added the almost unheard of inadequacies of much of the FISA panel (I’m talking about Boo & NG Cavscout here… oh & Mr 34B) I feel it necessary to claim for myself stoat. If only to add another missing arrow to my quiver. So here goes… I Sir Sir 37mm leading light of the house of JD Morse do propose the fool known as stoat be raised to the lofty position of Squire of the Cesspool. He will serve me… … … I mean he will serve me, I’m thirsty & I like ice with my spritzers Pengdamnit! Other than that I also hereby declare I will take upon myself the responsibility of training the daft buggar to some semblance of usefulness… I barely need to point out that both of the other suitors are ill suited to this, most vital, task. … oh and most importantly of all can stoat now get me a beer from the fridge? I sprained my ankle a wee bit & don’t feel up to the trip.

What on earth kinda sig is that bloody Swede sporting? As for the topic, I once read a history book about WW1 and in it everyone died to one machine gun... just goes to show, doesn't it, ey?

Ack! Piece of junk. The original Zulu, you know, the one with Michael Caine?, is much better. ZD is just a disappointing ripoff. </font>

So has anything come to the whole Seanachai/rleete/stoat/’special’ blood hamster thing? Or have you all gotten bored of the whole bloody nonsense and just wish rid of the lot of them? Oh & Boo I’ve decided I ain’t ever gonna have time for that huge, bloody scenario you sent me… I’ll pick something out myself. I fancy a teeny weenie battle, like… you know ‘a jeep, a sniper & a Colonel walk into a bar’ kinda thing

Man what a weird day today has been… I saw someone I ain’t seen for a long time AND they gave me a Stars & Stripes (which is now hanging up on my wall despite the obvious connotations that I support all the actions of a child murdering, skull collecting and candy stealing AmeriKKKa). I also saw the film Serenity today and dear Peng no matter how poorly executed some of the the firefly series was (despite the amazingly cool concept) this film was without doubt the best Sci-fi film for decades. I also got a rejection letter from a totally cool job I wanted (collecting blood samples & testing for mad cow’s disease... Pengdamnit, I thought I was born for that ****e). … and to top it all off I've ran out of both beer & whisky! I don’t know, sometimes it’s enough to make you want to leave civilised life behind you & become an oddstralian or sumfink.

Dear fracking Peng in a Sandwhich what the bloody hell has been going on now! (Gunzel) Some ‘orrible little critter here has been fiddling with my dear Stenographer! She ain’t saying who, but it’s gotta be one of you lot. Come on, one of you own up… and none of that ‘I’m Spartacus’ nonsense (IXc) It beggars belief but the flipping Nu-Yoika is correct, a traditional Blood Hamster will take far too much time. However I'm sure that if one of us cooked up an extremely quick ‘special’ scenario for the pair of them we could get a result for ‘stoat the lovetoy’ before the end of the year. I, of course, offer my services to both the FISA panel and the Greater Cesspool community (still) at large. (ipso) Shirley there must be some way to stop these oddstralian threads? I mean, put it this way, I first showed up in an oddstralian thread.

I'm sure you were meant to be in chains… anyway, I suppose I could try to juggle but the truth is I might end up looking like a complete pratt! I'm one of those people who endlessly tosses things up into the air (pens, rulers, mice, sweeties) and who then always fails to catch 'em on their return. I'm just not the juggling type.

Its 5am over here... can’t you see I’m bloody asleep? I think it was in either my second or third post to the Pool that I mentioned that my dancing skills were simply phenomenal & any who gazed upon my fluidic movements were likely to be mesmerized (perhaps permanently). Despite my abilities, I am humble enough to admit that I’ll never be able to dance like a Monkey.

*Sir 37mm peers suspiciously at the queer objects* Those aren’t mine… I never leave my ‘delicates’ lying around! Anyhow, check out those revolting sequins! I’ll let you know I have taste, Pengdamnit! *Sir 37mm storms off… again*

I’m not having this! I’ve had the ‘we need some time out’ conversation more than enough during my short, insignificant existence… well not bloody any more! I’m a Knight now, Pengdamnit! That means you’re meant to be the utterly confused ‘wtf are you talking about you crazed blancmange’ person… not me! In other words I’m taking the time out to 'rekindle the stove' or whatever … you, and I mean you, have to be the bloody one who actually tries to rekindle the bonfire thing! Until then I will act all uppity & unassailable… either way you won’t ever be knighted till we’ve made up! *Sir 37mm storms off* [ February 14, 2006, 02:06 PM: Message edited by: Sir 37mm ]

Coherence… Coherence…. But, I’ve not once in all my long sixteen Cess-months here shown… coherence…. No, I’ve shown not even the remotest capacity for any semblance of a slight coherenceness! Co-bloody-herence my arse! Anyhow getting away from the crazy talking, thread closing, ornamental garden pottery guy let’s talk about FISA and dear Frigging Peng on a stick, what have we got? A squire whose having some kind of gender crisis (heck I half expect I’ll be the one who has to comfort him over his shock of having to wear his first bra), a statement from rleete which can best be described as ‘useless’ but more accurately described as a ‘foot in the mouth’, a vague admission of guilt from Seanachai (at least that’s how I chose to interpret it), a missing Justicar who holds the key to gaining access to the other two Stenographers, a still terribly inadequate expenses budget, a ‘Merikan whose too busy digging latrines to deal with the volunteer work he didn’t volunteer for, a disinterested faux-Justicar/FISA Chairman and worse of all still no stoat in chains (Dear Peng I’ve got all this gear I wanted to try out on him... including these tent pegs). Oh well at least my psychotic squire/serf is still trying to flirt with every moving thing in the Pool (except me strangely enough) whilst demanding a ridiculous title or two every frigging post (no problem there, I’ll never remember how many I managed to rack up as a squire)…all of which brings a smile to my stern, chiselled features. Co-bloody-herence [ February 14, 2006, 02:59 PM: Message edited by: Sir 37mm ]

Wow! How 'competent' is she?

Absolute poppycock! The quality (or lack thereof) of stoat’s master is of no concern to this inquisition, indeed my young friend you are a prime example of this. Is not the lemmywinks wannabee v42below meant to be your particular master? And did I not beseech the Justicar to release you under my guiding care, at least until 4v2below could be bothered to post more than twice a month? And did the Justicar not say “screw you”? No Juan-Gigante you have stepped far beyond your remit… I’d ask for a sub-committee to explore the reasons why but realised that’d be somewhat ridiculous what with Boo already forming one sub-committee, me considering setting up another (to look into our inadequate expense budget & pension rights) and any one of us ready to form yet another committee charged with finding out where our promised stenographers are. Dear Peng, Juan Gigante … a conclusion? Next you’ll be telling us you’re in this for the ‘Good of the Pool’?

Wouldn't it be easier to get someone else to do it... heck once stoat is brought before us in chains we could get him to do it? ... and don't even give me that 'conflict of interest' nonsense, I really can't stand lawyers. ... (sigh) JD Morse (sigh) [ February 12, 2006, 06:11 PM: Message edited by: Sir 37mm ]

No doubt the report, when it is eventually compiled and released to the public, will be free of partisan comments but in the meantime surely we can still launch a simple character assassination of Seanachai followed by a witch-hunt or two? Dear Peng, is this not the Cesspool? It was mentioned in my list of qualifications... and I feel no need to repeat myself again [ February 12, 2006, 12:17 PM: Message edited by: Sir 37mm ]

Man I do look good in this thing… makes me look like the fifth Beatle or something. Anyway let’s get to it. Fellow members of the Pool we face before us a crisis of almost unprecedented seriousness (if you ignore all the schisms, civil wars & previous trials of Seanachai) but we will no doubt ride this storm out to emerge from the cellar with a calm wind filling our sails. I promise you that with the guidance of FISA we will all find the Promised Land! Now in dealing with Seanachai’s despicable actions I feel it’s vitally important that we ruthlessly interrogate stoat himself; I tell you that bastiche is hiding something & if we have to flay him to within an inch of his life to find out what that is then.. well we'd have dealt with two birds with but a single stone. First off why does stoat not display any markings denoting his relationship with rleete. I remember Boo branding me several times throughout my tutelage by him… yet stoat displays nothing, why? Is he ashamed of his relationship with rleete? *Sir 37mm manages to suppress a snigger thanks to almost superhuman restraint* Another thing at what point did stoat first start seeing Seanachai? When did their relationship develop? Who knew of them? Where have they hidden the weapons? I move that we should bring stoat before us… preferably in chains. [ February 12, 2006, 12:19 PM: Message edited by: Sir 37mm ]

I’d also like to volunteer for the… volunteer work… stuff, oh & the stenographers (If I & Juan Gigante are the only volunteers do we get three each?). I suppose I have to qualify myself? (Bx) I have an almost pathologically hatred of Seanachai because he closed down my first thread… but I might have a cool enough head to bury my undiminished & eternal outrage... at least long enough to give Seanachai the appearance of a fair hearing. (Tiii) I mean it was my first thread… and it was marvellous & he just swooped in drunk as a skunk… skunk, do skunks even get drunk?... err anyway he was drunk & just wiped it from existence… obliterated it… sigh … oh err another qualification is that… I have a cool Suit I’ve been meaning to wear, it’s got a kind of Nehru Jacket. I’d look spiffing. (ICBM) It is ridiculously easy to bribe, cajole or bewitch me with words, cash, promises, threats or even vague flattery… this could provide much needed entertainment & sport to what would otherwise be a straight out ‘Seanachai is guilty & should burn for his crimes’ verdict.

That took like twenty seconds of my time thanks to google. It's from a Rudyard Kipling book about boys at a British boarding school in one of the stories a character says... "Binjimin, we must make him cry `Capivi!'" Which probably translates to 'we must make him admit his fault' but only if capivi has been confused with peccavi which means 'I have sinned' (I knew the meaning of that already... my reading up on British India finally proving useful). I don't feel like abusing anyone at the moment though especially as I've got a Pizza in the oven (which always brings happiness & joy to my being)… could I save my free abuse for another time?

You mean Mary Poppins? Best not let Yeknod hear you calling Julie a witch. Would not be healthy. And don't you owe me a turn or a game or some money? </font>

Actually no... it was just the song that came on at the time, which then reminded me of my dream job. The Grim Reaper... Dear Peng now that's a job I could do. The current one seems to be lacking a sense of humour, if I was a Grim Reaper you'd have so many minor celebrities falling out of their windows we'd all need umbrella's... … ... which could somehow withstand people crashing into them at terminal velocity … Perhaps a magic umbrella would work, they must exist… like in that film with the crazy witch. She could fly using an umbrella… I’m assuming it’s because of the umbrella anyhow. I mean she could have an innate ability to fly & just use the umbrella for effect… not too sure what effect that would be though. Then again other witches seem to rely on their brooms for flight so there’s probably a good chance that witches don’t have an innate ability to fly but must instead use some kind of magical cleaning implement… or perhaps a piece of furniture in regards to flying carpets, which are in any case flying rugs when you actually think about it. Then again this is all to do with flight, not shock absorption & armour resistance. I mean what kind of forces are we talking about… right okay if I remember mass equals… no, no, no momentum equals mass multiplied by velocity. So a minor celebrity weighing say 159 pounds falling at I don’t know 2232 inches a second gives a value of well over 32,000… things I just don’t see how any magic umbrella could resist such an impact… and for everyone to have to carry one just because it might finally be the time for that guy who played Joey in Friends or some bloody rapper with a dumb ass name like 20p to kick the bucket just seems a logistical nightmare. You know it’s probably more complicated than it looks that Grim Reaper lark… perhaps in the end it’s for the best if I stick to the Petri dishes and leave the reaping to the experts.

Actually the correct answer* is that you hope to be one day. Which you should, there are many advantages to being a fully paid up member of the improper House of (sigh) JD Morse (sigh)... ... probably * and ignore all that nonsense your teachers used to try & comfort you with about there being no wrong answers... you were wrong then & you're wrong now

Err... and what exactly are you again? You ain't another one of me long, lost squires are you?

Have I still only got two Sir's in my title? Shirley I deserve another Sir by now? All our times have come Here but now they're gone Seasons don't fear the reaper Nor do the wind, the sun or the rain. we can be like they are Come on baby...don't fear the reaper Baby take my hand...don't fear the reaper We'll be able to fly...don't fear the reaper Baby I'm your man... Valentine is done Here but now they're gone Romeo and Juliet Are together in eternity...Romeo and Juliet 40,000 men and women everyday...Like Romeo and Juliet 40,000 men and women everyday...Redefine happiness Another 40,000 coming everyday...We can be like they are Come on baby...don't fear the reaper Baby take my hand...don't fear the reaper We'll be able to fly...don't fear the reaper Baby I'm your man... Love of two is one Here but now they're gone Came the last night of sadness And it was clear she couldn't go on Then the door was open and the wind appeared The candles blew then disappeared The curtains flew then he appeared...saying don't be afraid Come on baby...and she had no fear And she ran to him...then they started to fly They looked backward and said goodbye...she had become like they are She had taken his hand...she had become like they are Come on baby...don't fear the reaper.

Boot Never Boot stay Boot away Boot that Boot long Boot again Boot unless Boot I Boot tell Boot you Boot too... Boot. I'd mention you owe me turns... but as I owe every one else turns I suppose that could seem a bit hippokritikal of me.