Hortlund

Yeah, but "and this time he brought virgin pee" might give ppl the wrong impression... [ October 26, 2003, 01:59 PM: Message edited by: Leutnant Hortlund ]

Prologue Some say he originally came from the hot deserts far down south. Others that he came from the frozen tundras of the cold north. No one really knew. Then there were those who could not care less whether he came from the frozen tundras of the north or the hot deserts of the south, they didnt give a rats ass about stuff like that, and they just wanted him to return to wherever he came from, as soon as possible thankyouverymuch. The more litterate members of the forum could see that he had put his location in his info, but being litterate, they didnt really care. Instead they joined those who didnt give a rats ass, and just wished that he would go away. His first post is long forgotten now. His first challenge is but a whisper in the neverending choire of the Cess . Although, eventually he did earn his knighthood in a most impressive way, and true, that makes him...special. Not special in the special-olympics sense of the word mind you, no, special in the true meaning of the word. For when it comes to Knighthood many are called, but few are chosen. His score among his fellow knights is unknown. Although he remembers how he soundly thrashed Sir Lars in a battle using only Italian infantry. And he did take part in some of the more glorious flame wars on the BB too, mostly in the obscure general discussions forum though. And nothing posted there ever counts. After spending a good while away, mostly working on a computer game known as "Victoria", but also doing lots of RL-stuff, like quitting a job he hated, and getting a new job that he loves, and playing with his kids and other mushy stuff like that, he is rumored to return to claim his rightful place as Knight of the Cess... and this time he brought a beer.

Oh God... my English when Im drunk is on level with the writings of the mad Pole.

yes yes yes yes yes young one...you will get your turn soon. I am just in the process of teaching you the first lesson of all pbem-gaming...patience. Be not like the refreshing monkey hitting the send/recieve-button in his mail program once a minute. Yeay, because like a tiny bush in a forrest fire the refreshing monkey is, always stressed, always looking the other way... YES, Be not like the brush in a fire, be like the tree in a storm. Endure, young one, endure all the hardships with stoic endurance, smile at your empty mailbox, smile at the sky. Tonight I give you these words, tomorrow I will give you an email. MAYBE...I might have decided to move on to lesson #2 "How to handle frustration"...you shall see young one...you shall see...

P.S. The girls in Sweden are the most gorgeous ones in the entire worldl. D.S. Love, Hrotlkund

I'm too drunk for this **** right now. Seriously. Furst I drank some beer, then some booze, then some more beer, then a couple of glasses of water (smart move Lt!!) then anonter beer and then before leaving the club, anohter beer. SOoo...I think I'll leave y'all to it. Carry on.

Yeah, for some reason I always figured you were a perv...

Wrong.

Ok for Panther, but are you sure that there were no Ferdinands in Kursk battle? </font>

Trivial Pursuit question #2: What the hell is a Ferdinand and a Panther doing at Prokhorovka?

But of cource...I am afterall Swedish. Send me a setup young one. A scenario of your choosing. - edited in case Denise Richards reads this post...I'm still single honey, call me. [ June 18, 2003, 07:48 PM: Message edited by: Leutnant Hortlund ]

You know...Im sitting here drinking a beer right now. Reading all your posts. Beer is great, did you know that? The first person who invented beer must have been a genius. I mean really smart. Who comes up with that anyway? "Lets mix this and that and leave it in a barrel for a couple of weeks and then we drink it." Anyway, beer is great. So is Whiskey. Now there is another invention I'll never understand how they came up with. I mean the weel or toiletpaper is another thing completely, with those inventions you can imagine how they were invented. Some neolithic guy pulled a dead animal over some logs and realized it was easier than just dragging it across the ground or something. And toilet paper...well Its only the Indians who havent figured out the benefits with that one yet...right... not that there is anything wrong with THAT Anyway, I remember being in a relationship once. Met this girl 3-4 years ago. Fell in love, everything was perfect. She needed a place to stay, so I let her move in with me. (I had known this girl something like 7-8 years before we got involved). ANYWAY, relationship starts to crack after 4-5 months...you know how it can be. Came home from work one night she was waiting by the kitchen table "honey, I'm pregnant" alright...I mean, Im in a still good relationship, I have a decent job, I have a good place to live, I'm 26 years old, she is 26 years old, abortion is out of the question. The next 9 monts are horrible, as the girlfriend slowly transforms into psycho-btch. I'm constantly thinking "got to make this one work, kid must have a family" so I stay. I mean...Im not the kind of guy who walks out on his pregnant girlfriend...right? Soo...nine months later, son is born, and for the next 3 months everything is ok actually. Not because our situation improved or anything, but because I was kinda focused on the kid and on work. 3 months pass, psycho btch returns. She is all over me wondering if Im cheating, if I would want to cheat on her, if I think she is still attractive, why I dont do this or that anymore. She starts bossing me around, do the dishes, clean this, do that, stop playing on that stupid computer. You idiot. You want to get a beer with your buddies? Forget it, you are staying right here at home and clean something. Meanwhile, Im spending 10-14 hours at work everyday busting my ass off trying to make the economy work, I come home around 7-8pm, just wanting to eat, play with son for a while, and then crash into bed before I have get up around 5am next morning. I'm like "how on earth would I find the time to cheat even if I wanted to". I cant go to a bar and get a beer with my buddies because everytime I do she either freaks out and starts screeming at me (who are you really going to see? What's her name?) OR I come home and find her crying in some corner of the appartment (nobody loves me, and you dont care about anything else but your drinking buddies). Needless to say, I wanted out of the relationship...but still, it is not easy to leave when you have kids together. So I figure, it could be worse. I mean, I have a good job, a wonderful kid, a good place to live, and sometimes (like 2-3 hours, once a month) the relationship is good. So anyway, about a year and a half ago, she is going out with some of her friends. I figure "great, now I can sit up all night and play CM without having someone breathing down my neck all the time." She comes home around 5 am, t o t a l l y drunk. I mean she is so drunk she is stumbling around in the appartment turning stuff over. She comes into the bedroom looking to score...Im like "no way...forget that." She starts crying and starts taking about suicide. I'm like "uh...what?" Thats when I decided to leave. I mean, clearly the relationship was *really* bad for both of us, I just never realized that it was that bad. So the next day I find another appartment, and a couple of weeks later I move out. Three weeks later she tells me she is pregnant again... Now, there is no way in hell Im getting back into a relationship with her once I got out. So kid #2 arrives, and the first six months he is with his mom all the time (I cant breast feed him that well) meanwhile Im at work doing 12-14 hour days, I dont get to see him in the weekdays, not too often in the weekends either, I get to see him maybe 2-3 hours a week. One day in March I come over to her place to meet him and he starts to cry and scream at the top of his lungs when Im about to pick him up... great, meet mr perfect dad. I realized something had to change. Soo, I decided to quit my job and spend some time with the kids this summer. Quit in May, have been with the kids since then. One of the upsides of living in a semi-communist country is that you get money even if you dont work. And if you have kids, you get even more money. Being alone with two kids is completely exhausting though. I mean its bad when you start longing back to that desk and those 14hour workdays... So more often than not, I crash into bed about an hour after the kids. Heh, 29 yrs old and goes to bed at 8pm...now there's something I never thought I'd do. So anyway...now you know why your turns might be a bit late sometimes.

But you said I was special!

Tio. Now, what's so interesting about that? /SirReal </font>

Oh great...another Swede... Or is he... *hmmm* Kan dui svarra erligt på denna fraåga... Hvad aer tree pluss sjuh? Note that the above text will not work in any online translation gadget. Only a real Swede (or dane/norwegian/finn) can answer that one. This should be interesting.

No, see I am serious. There is no ignore function on this forum, if there is I cant find it. And I have to hand it to you, I have been on forums like this since 98 and you are the first one Ive ever wanted to put on my ignore list....and then I cant find the ignore list, oh the irony... So, I am serious when Im asking you. Please just leave me alone. Thanks. [ June 12, 2003, 07:36 PM: Message edited by: Leutnant Hortlund ]

Well, that would be me then I suppose... So how will this work? Do you mail her over or somefink?

Polish git. Please leave me alone. I have been trying to avoid you because I really cant stand you. At all. Please do me the curtesy of not talking to me anymore. Thanks.

Sorry sorry, Its just that I GOT ACCEPTED AS A BETATESTER FOR THIS GAME! And I have been studying the forbidden scrolls hidden in the SECRET forums where no mortals ever tread. Turns will be out tomorrow. -edit...oopps I didnt see that the train had left for Coventry already... apologies. [ June 12, 2003, 07:14 PM: Message edited by: Leutnant Hortlund ]

Wait a minute...didnt that Olde one just say that Lenakonrad is a squire?

Quod erat demonstrandum.

I wonder if anyone has ever understood any post made by that Polish guy...and if one of his posts ever made sense...would it really be one of his posts... *puts on zen-Budhist philosophy hat*

Hearts of Iron with the flag patch I see...

Wait..wait, I know the answer to this one... hmm... Australian, pillock, weird... Yes, you must be that "crocodile hunter" who constanty travels the countryside to make out with snakes and other reptiles and insects. "Whoaa lookie here, a black taipan, the worlds third most dangerous snake, now watch me pick it up and put it in my trousers"

In the words of the great one: If something's hard to do, then it's not worth doing. (and I am waiting for a turn from you pillock last email I got from you was some whining about ISPs and emails or somefink)