imported_Hiram Sedai

[ November 17, 2002, 06:03 PM: Message edited by: Hiram Sedai ]

Ah Nevermind [ November 17, 2002, 06:02 PM: Message edited by: Hiram Sedai ]

Gesundheit! Now, I'm waiting for the obligatory flood of SSN's to scamper in and raid the cupboards.

Is it time yet?

Hirsute Hiram’s Gamey Update I know you all have been sitting home waiting for this moment to arrive in your lives. To sate your curiosity, I’ve decided to share some quality moments with you. Know that each and every time where I may be losing, it is because my opponent is cheating. Elvis I hate city fighting. It’s difficult to hear my men dying because of the sounds of the burning buildings and both of my burning vehicles. Meanwhile, he has 20 T-34’s romping through my city killing everything he sees. Oh, what fun. JDMorse Why do I insist on playing a lawyer? I know that he will bend the rules in some way so that nothing will go my way. It’s my fault for choosing a scenario and the side where I simply cannot win. I wonder if I’ll be able to beat him by the time the next incarnation of Combat Mission comes out. Has he earned my disdain? You betcha!! Linden Is that his name in the CMBB manual? What was I thinking playing this guy? Everything he has is invulnerable. I use my high school German trying to make him look the other way so I might kill something, but it is all for naught. Don’t hate him yet. Seanachai I know I’m driving him crazy. He’ll win because I’m not moving forward. He can just sit on the flag and whine. I’ll try my gamey flag rush at the end, but don’t tell him. (it will be our little secret) I pretend to hate him because he likes attention and women stopped paying attention to him since before I was born. Moriarty My kingdom for bigger stuff and nicer stuff. Santa, I want some big beefy tanks to squash this guy. This one will be like the blind, drunken, leper boxers and we may mistakenly land a blow by the end of the game. Can’t really hate him, he’s like a lecherous uncle who offers you candy. Not that I had that sort of uncle or anything. Goanna We are still in the first part of the game where I’m not dying yet. I just know that this time I’m going to thump him good. He won’t know what’s happening to him as I pummel his forces and blah blah blah. Who am I kidding? He can just hit “Go” until the end of the game and still get a Major Victory. Don’t really hate him because he gets off on it. I’m saving it. Oh, yes. Lorak I used to feel sorry for myself until I started playing this guy. We have self deprecating wars in the chatroom. I’ve met my match in self insults. The PBEM will probably be boring and forgettable because I have few skills and he has none. You know I can’t hate him because he is too much like me. (How’s that for an insult?) Speedbump He has nice buildings and I have burnt out tanks. His gamey use of air assets is difficult to deal with. I still want his liver on a stick. Yes, I abhor him. It’s just natural. Boo Radley I sent this worm a scenario he is guaranteed to win. Maybe it will help out my karma. I did hate him before but I’m saving it all up for the next opponent. Am I playing too many people? Yes, I probably am. I take too long to send turns and usually do poorly. Still, something interesting happened to me tonight as I was chatting on AOL instant messenger. Someone challenged me. It was a certain someone that so many of you fawn over and bend over to welcome whenever he visits. I see you scurry about and beg his mercy when you see him. I hate him and tell him every single time I chat with him. MRPeng I know that he is a fetid chancre sore on the bottom lip of a prepubescent library dweller. He is the nasty stuff you find at the bottom of your vegetable drawer when you leave your food in there too long. I feel sorry for the people that have to view his leathery visage and bloodshot eyes on a daily basis. He has earned my eternal disdain in a way that is almost intimate. His presence has altered my life and not for the better. I was easy to get along with before. I could be pleasant in real life and wasn’t given to use spittle and growling sounds when making a point. I had friends then. I blame him for each real and perceived inadequacy I have in my life now. As I sit in my doctor’s office and see the look of disappointment on my doctor’s face, I attempt to explain the rage within due to MRPeng’s influence on my life. The doctor is amazed that blood pressure could get that high. He said I should find something that would relax me. MRPENG I want to feel relaxed and happy. Guess what would make me a happy camper. Go ahead, guess. Well, you can be a participant in this therapy. I’d love nothing more than to drag you out and commence the obligatory bludgeoning and evisceration. I won’t stoop to saying that corny little phrase “die-a lot” when I’m pummeling you. I will be hurling vile epithets and kicking your flabby IT body. Think of your entrails stretched from that stop sign down the street to the old tree on your front lawn. I would adorn it with bows and wreaths for the festive holiday we will all enjoy. I do hope you have the intestinal fortitude. That was a little jokey-joke. I will make it my top priority to beat you within an inch of your life in our upcoming PBEM. Since I’m such a nice guy, I’ll even email you this text because of your attention deficit disorder and how you think of yourself as too good to check this thread any more. I’ve saved up every juicy morsel of hatred for you. Let the taste of fear stew in your mouth because I’m coming to spank your middle aged, fetid, unshaven, flaccid butt with all the fury I can muster. You created this monster. Reap the wind. Edited because hatred does not denote intellect. I can not now nor could I ever acheive the perfection found in either Geier's or Germanboy's posts. In my limited view, they are the same entity seperated by taoistic remnants that are beyond my limited comprehension. [ November 15, 2002, 01:02 AM: Message edited by: Hiram Sedai ]

There is a certain Aussie pretending to be a Scot who seems a bit bitter. Must suck to be you, OGSF.

I was in the Army for 8 years and did not fight in a war. I think of this day as a remembrance day for the "real veterans" who fought. I'm grateful to them.

I'm sorry old man, but I simply can't understand you ... perhaps if you were to gobble your words more and toss in a few casual references to wee spaniels and the like? Btw, I'll be in the Boulder area on Dec. 9th if you'd like to buy a fellow CessPooler a beer. Joe</font>

My version of CMBB shows distance in meters, not yards. I have seen armor shoot the main gun as close as 10M, but it usually goes over the head of the infantry. Keep moving your armor closer to the foxhole and see if you can shoot them! I love the sound that is made when a squad or more of troops toss grenades and molotov's at a tank! Oh, as for your problem, Mister OGSF...must be a problem that only you have.

.</font>

Berli's got a big ol bump I know I told you I'd be true but Berli's got a big ol bump so I'm leaving you

It's sad to see that even MRPeng doesn't really know what a "Peng" is. what a waste of human flesh

Have I told you lately, that I hate you?

Bauhaus, I had your eulogy all prepared and you ruined it by coming back. We were going to mourn your passing, but you've come back with your usual brand of idiocy and pedantic prose. Just die already.

Hi Mom! I know it's been a while since I've written, so sorry about that. As you may have already heard, I spend much of my spare time chasing those who are bootylicious. That plump rump has me hip-mo-tized. I've decided that the last three little honies were, in fact, lesbians because they spurned the Hiram-lovin. Hope the arthritis isn't too bad and you get your new teeth soon. Your hirsute son, Hiram

Since my noble quest of tapping that magnificent booty has been fruitless, I might as well talk about CMBB. I am now starting a new PBEM with a Mister Boo Radley. Many of you know him as an insignificant worm with delusions of greatness because of his association with the nasty bottom dweller called Croda. There is little need for me to hurl invective Boo’s way because he is already an opponent of mine, but I enjoy overkill and kicking the proverbial dead horse. I think of him as a stand in for Croda and will enjoy stomping his lifeless corpse into smaller bits. I would hyphenate here and there but my cat is currently sitting on my mouse. I will edit later to prove that I can never be as perfect as both Old Firm and their prophet Germanboy. I’ve known for quite some time that Croda would spawn. You all didn’t believe me when I predicted this some time ago. He was entirely too cowardly to face me once again in a battle because I had thrashed him time and again. So, in a dark cavern fitting the bottom dwellers, he gave birth to the sin against nature called Boo Radley. When Boo had first opened his bloodshot eyes he saw the slimy visage of his mentor and heard these words, “Hurt Hiram”. Croda’s scion leapt to the task with all the fervor he could muster and hopped around on his spindly legs chanting “Hurt Hiram”. Since Boo’s master did not have legs, but owned a bloated, white, spineless, disgusting body, he could not share in the jubilation of his creation from his loins. He jiggled and undulated with ecstasy upon viewing his offspring. Boo had his father’s eye and propensity to play in traffic. Seems that nature has a sense of justice after all. Sadly, he has yet to be pummeled by a cement truck. I would ask both of you who have the synaptic fortitude to read this far to run him over when traveling through Ohio. Think of it as the right thing to do. You would be doing a great service to the human race and would donate to your karma greatly to clip Boo Radly once and then back up over his thorax until all traces of the Croda genome are crushed. You would also be donating to the charitable effort started by good people across the world that notice the walking chancre sores and abhor them. Yes, I would gladly travel to Ohio with my trusty baseball bat and take care of it myself, but am a bit low on funds at the moment. One does wish that dirty movies were cheaper. Here is another prediction for the brainless twits that only read the first and last paragraph of everything. The nasty little offspring tyke of Croda known as Boo Radley will attempt every gamey little man-hoover, edge hugging, SMG toting, and Uber tank thrusting he can think of. He will attempt to flank my brave troops and his troops will die in droves. His burning tanks will dot the landscape and become beacons of ill will to any and all that wish to associate themselves with my nemesis. Let the spanking begin!! EDIT – One last “sit down, Bauhas" for old time’s sake. Edited repeatedly because I was never worthy to be an opponent to the Old Firm or their prophet Germanboy. Edited once again because my intrinsic fallability is oh so obvious. Edited for the last time because my keyboard is soaked with the tears due to knowing that I would always be beneath notice of the Old Firm and shall always be a pariah to their kind. [ November 06, 2002, 12:12 PM: Message edited by: Hiram Sedai ]

Hiram all men are Fallible it's a well known fact. But I'm sure Andreas appreciates your sublimity.[/QB]</font>

I like CMBB as much as I liked looking down a girl's shirt for the first time during the struggle of puberty. Thought, I'd share that with you to enhance the discussion and all.

Oh, have we disappointed you? Good! Maybe you know how it feels to be us for a second as we see you use UK insults against us. The phrasing doesn’t have the same thunder as a normal M-fer or a S-Head that a normal NJ resident might hurl at you. Granted, the usual NJ resident may not be normal, but that is a conversation for another day. You won’t find anything enlightening until you contribute something of note. Think of a karmic way of posting. Since you are a pea brain imbecile, you expect much and deliver little. I’ve been disappointed in you for some time now and have refrained from becoming expository upon your unworthy butt. You have disgraced yourself by allying with that bottom dwelling Croda and have earned the eternal disdain of me. Since I have abhorrence and disdain a-plenty, I guess it isn’t worth much these days. But what I have kept for you is a special flavor of hatred. I’ve viewed your thrasonical bellowing but am also noticing the cowardice you’ve displayed by distancing yourself from my nemesis. Now, you wish to suckle upon the bardic teat of the effeminate one in your sig line. Still, just a moment of association with Croda is sufficient to earn my ire and you are next in line. You won’t get any pity living in the Buckeye state. I know what it’s like to live amongst the confused masses that wander around wondering where Cedar Point is. I have viewed the mustached females and the homeless people that are arrested for just living on the street. I have walked the streets of Cleveland and wondered where humanity went. I experienced the indifferent attitude of your state and was under awed bit it all. I’m guessing that you and your neighbors dwell in a bit of mediocre purgatory. Still, you wander in bowl legged to see if we can entertain you. You wonder and hope if, that for a moment, your life would mean something. You wish to glimpse a bit of clever banter or be amused for a second. Well, I’m not here to make you chuckle, you fetid chancre sore. My purpose isn’t to tickle your funny bone. I want to demolish you and remind you that you are nothing more than a wart on the hindquarters of humanity. I have found better conversationalists while flushing and have deemed you unworthy of existence. Since I have deigned to notice you and sincerely doubt if you were capable of reading all of these words, I will close this little bit of hatred with this note: Send me an unbalanced scenario and I will hurt you. Remember how that wisdom tooth felt? I will be that pain. Remember that humiliation as so many females spurned your advances because of your halitosis and chronic groin itching? That is how you will feel when I smack you around as a mouthy, stank ho. Edited repeatedly because I now know that I am not Germanboy and/or Adreas thereby rendering me fallible. [ November 01, 2002, 07:01 PM: Message edited by: Hiram Sedai ]

Someone is getting a bit persnikkity. When I leave the seat up, my precious little kitties get a brown smile. Aren't they just wonderful?

I use my Company commanders in other roles too: 1. Command bonuses for MG nests 2. Follow platoons to assist with routed squads 3. Take over when platoon leaders are dead 4. To create a "bridge of command" when traveling accross long distance. When the troops are out of command, the delay is much longer and they panic easier. I won't go into detail because my PBEM opponents may read this and figure out my awe inspiring strategery.

See Locked thread: MadMatt Hi Mom! It's been a while since I've written and I hope things are well with you. As you predicted, I have little luck with the fairer sex and my life is a steaming pile of feces because I am wasting my potential. I hope your arthritis isn't too painful and you aren't too ashamed of me. Your hirsute son, Hiram

It will be about a year or so before I apply mods to CMBB. I can see terrain height quite well and am totally satisfied with both the infantry and armor I've seen thus far. This is from a fellow who had CMBO heavily modded.

Good God, man! Grow a freakin pair! Do you want to rest your oversized melon on his lap as he strokes your hair and whispers poetry in your ear? I see this for what it truly is. The Bard has created a toy to play with the small brained sycophants among us and I was trapped amongst you. Yet another reason to abhor him.

You bloody pansy. </font>