imported_Hiram Sedai

AAR of TCPIP Passion with Girlfriend Three battles. Two of which were Pure Armor and my love was Germans. She won both of them handily. I hate computer picked forces. She must have cheated, but I wouldn’t say that. No, not me. Third battle was premade scenario created by yours truly. I barely won even though I, uh, set up the game myself. Either I suck or she is a savant. Could it be both?

Which of course makes one wonder why Hiram uses Sedai. I think the lad's confused </font>

Hiram: Shut up! Joe: No, you shut up! Hiram: Shut up, old man! Joe: No, you shut up or I'll blackmail you! Hiram: Hey, Joe...look over there (grabs baseball bat) *Thump* Hiram: Shut up! Joe: Grrrgle

Shut up, Joe. Ah, that feels better. Remember when you had a libido? Probably not. Well, I still do. I seemed to have found a wonderful female with wide hips and an incredible intellect. Amazingly, she has no taste in men, so I now have a girlfriend. She has already beaten me in CMBB which is a small feat considering an autistic infant with a drooling problem could do that, but thats a story for another day. Anyway, she shows promise in many areas. Oh, and she promised to let me explore those other areas. (wink wink nudge nudge)

AussieJeff, I'm sorry for the loss that you and your wife feel. Please accept my condolences. As Emma says, words do fail me.

I wander back in to relieve myself and see the droppings of both Croda and his toady Boo Radley. I can’t say I’m really happy to see either of you. I think a colonoscopy would be more pleasant than reading the tripe you two pass off as wit. Yes, you two are the dim witted duo. I wonder if you jump into the Crodamobile and spread idiocy wherever you go. “Holy Tiger Tracks, Crodaman!!” Croda it warms my heart knowing that you remember traffic. Your pedantic reply brought me back to the day when I had suggested the same thing for you to do. I had given the taunt much more thought and effort though. Your puny little “to be continued” taunt was weak as I know you still are. Weren’t we playing a game before? I can barely remember now. Since you are so inconsequential, it seems that everything you do is also meaningless. I need to win a game soon. Since you are poorly skilled and myopic, you may send me a setup and I will grind my boot into your skull again. Your sycophant can’t help you as I thrash you and pimp slap you (again). Wasn’t it you that created a scenario specifically for you to win and yet you still lost? Wait a second…who won that one? Hmm…could it be…Hiram? Great googily moogily!! What sort of idiot would lose at his own scenario? Oh, and to lose to one such as myself has got to burn like the experience your sad little sidekick goes through when he visits the little girls room. Now, that has got to hurt!! Just when I think I may be a complete loser and bereft of hope, I think of you and feel encouraged. Just to cheer you up, Croda, here is a link. Hope you enjoy the pictures. http://home.earthlink.net/~hiramsedai/_wsn/page2.html

Hey Boo...shut up. thanks

I'm going to be busy during the next two days, so let me wish you all a Merry Christmas from New Jersey. Hopefully I'll get a new and improved Suze Squeeze me doll this year. My old one is worn out.

I heard somewhere that the Bears suck this year. Sorry, can't make it. PS Go Eagles!!

I received my CMBB Strategy guide the other day. It's fun to read but somehow I still suck. I find this most disconcerting and would like a cure-all solution for this problem insofar as I paid my money and want to win every game all the time. The tables make no sense to me because I'm not a grog and the text makes little sense to me because of my glaring intellectual ineptitude. I need a See-N-Say manual that verbally castigates me when I do silly things with my troops. BTS, BFC, KFC, Please fix or do somefink immediately or sooner. (Lock her up)

This is just sad! I did not create this thread so you bonehead, brain-dead Peng sycophants would trade witty one liners. This is not the Comedy Club hour complete with silly pictures. I’m starting to understand a bit of the frustration that Meeks had. I may be stepping off that precipice into dementia after all. There was a time when opening the Peng thread made ones heart ache with the awe-inspiring prose and depth of emotion. Visitors were brutally beaten and tossed out onto the street. Hell, everyone was beaten. That was when the Peng thread had quality members and not parrots that fawn after senior knights. Senior Knights – that’s a laugh! You stupid little squires disgust me. The whole idea of knights and squires were a bad idea anyway. None of you are worthy to clean my codpiece. Don’t you realize that they expect something more from us that what we are delivering on a daily basis? Step up to the plate and spew some venom. Use me as a target then. Let me know what you really think of me. Or, you can use Joe Shaw again in that he is such an easy target. Let’s talk about how he was so lonely and friendless that he decided to fly to the crazy Australian who speaks like he’s Scottish house just so he could be in a picture with someone. If you’re going to post in here, earn the right…or go away.

Hi Mom! How is the bursitis? I hope the gout isn't bothering you too much. Sorry for being such a dissapointment. take care now Mike

Hi Mom! It's me again. I know that I'm still a dissapointment to you and that you wished you had an abortion long before I was around, but I hope you have a happy holiday! take care now Hiram

You know that the "rules" are subjective, Joe. I didn't bold anything in the rules because I expected someone to have some patience and actually read the damn text without looking for bolded words. There are thousands of my words wasted upon your geriatric generation because I failed to bold. Tell me about how your hip gave out when you were dancing to an old Elvis tune, Joe. I care.</font>

You know that the "rules" are subjective, Joe. I didn't bold anything in the rules because I expected someone to have some patience and actually read the damn text without looking for bolded words. There are thousands of my words wasted upon your geriatric generation because I failed to bold. Tell me about how your hip gave out when you were dancing to an old Elvis tune, Joe. I care.

Hirsute Hiram’s Gamey Update So many opponents to mention here. Few actually read this thread any more. So, what’s it all about Alfie? Well, here is a little bit of sharing I’d like to do. Hi, I’m Hiram and I play lousy games of CMBB. I’ve been CMBO free for 2 months now. waits for applause waits a little longer hears crickets chirping and the occasional bottom burp from the flatulent masses JDMorse Lawyers are nefarious, bottom dwelling, scum sucking leeches. But, that is a given. I’m playing a scenario that was made for me to lose. Really..I read it in the Scenario forum and at the Scenario Depot. So, I’m supposed to lose anyway and shouldn’t be up all night weeping because I’m losing. Elvis Yet another scenario where I’m supposed to not win. I’m biding my time until I unleash a Stalingrad Pack scenario upon his flabby buttocks. Mooo hahaha. Boo Radley This is a scenario called “Detraining at Lodz”. I picked the Axis side and have noticed a veritable excrement-load of tanks coming my way. What was this guy thinking when he created this atrocity? (Let’s see if egocentric man visits and reads this with his dummy all dolled up and ready for action) Goanna Waiting for turns while he visits all of his wives in assorted countries. I wonder how many offspring he has by now. He could name one “Hiram” for kicks and giggles. The polygamy should make the flaccid justicar jealous. Lindan We ceased fire a QB to start a Stalingrad Pack scenario (Eye of the Storm) because it’s the right thing to do. Not sure how I’ll do, but let’s hope that the good guys win. In “good” I mean my guys, of course. Lorak Starting “My City of Ruins” by Mister Phallically challenged Spoon. Still waiting for the next turn from Lorak. Can’t imagine I would lose this one unless I have my stroke before his surrender. Seanachai I know that I’m wasting my time in this little scenario. The fact that it frustrates him and infuriates him makes me giggle. Granted, when I giggle, I tend to poot relentlessly until such time as it becomes moist, but that is a topic for another time. Speedbump This is a fun little scenario that I forgot the name of. Mister Bump is cowering and waiting for me to roll him over. How precious!! Moriarty We are having an inept armor battle with every tenth shot actually hitting. It’s a sad little battle that I’d rather not talk about now because it’s embarrassing. MRPeng He is hopped up on mind altering drugs that make him think he can beat me. We are playing another Stalingrad Pack scenario called “Into the Void”. MRPeng waits for me to attack him and demands that I drop really big arty on his unworthy head. He demands much and gives so little. He hopes for the bronchial break through where he might win. Since we all know that he is a “has been”, it’s easy to see that I will spank his flabby bottom in this one. I think I’ll blow cigarette smoke in his face and watch him cough up a lung. [ December 07, 2002, 05:50 PM: Message edited by: Hiram Sedai ]

There should be a law against you.</font>

Request Firing mission on Papa Echo November Golf. Fire for effect. We know that some of you will post on this first page to prove something to your unsatisfied wives. You will say “look, honey…I posted in the Peng thread and got away with it.” Meanwhile, you wonder why your first born looks exactly like your mailman. Since you will post without challenging anyone and without showing a modicum of courage, we expectorate upon you. Your sad little life is laughable and you may go to bed tonight with the knowledge that I have had more interesting conversation with the findings in my porcelain companion than I will with you. These are the rules. Follow them or suffer the consequences. You are to challenge one (1) person to a battle in either CMBO or CMBB. You must be creative and show a bit of rage. Don’t request anything or apologize for anything. We demand quality in here and encourage you to stay the hell out if you prefer to whine about how CMBB does not improve your love life and therefore should be tweaked. The brainless sycophants among us would use the silly catch phrase "Sod Off" but I won't stoop to that pedantic reply. Let me use some of my Merkin language tell you to get out and don't let the friggen door hit you on the backside on the way out. Don't talk about "who's got the wine". That is just silly and strongly influenced by estrogen. We welcome the members of the opposite sex. They are to be treasured, admired, and dare I say...worshipped. But wine has nothing to do with eviscerating one's opponent and wearing his entrails upon our neck while dancing to a Jennifer Lopez tune. There are certain brainless twits among you who like to try to be cool. We know who you are. Don't expect hugs and kisses when you post in here. Here is your warning: Get out now before we hurt you. Don't ask "what is a peng" because that is so passe. We were tired of you when you were replying to threads about how CMBB isn't modded well enough to make you seem good looking. The graphics are just fine and the Staligrad Pack is all we need in life. Write that down. Last thought: For the 99.9% of you scum sucking Non Peng participants who like to post in here once without reading the rules and then scamper away, you are gnat offal. [ December 07, 2002, 05:12 PM: Message edited by: Hiram Sedai ]

http://home.earthlink.net/~hiramsedai/_uimages/Hiramface.JPG tee hee

Uh, Joe? That was weak. You remain a sad, sorry excuse for a geriatric philanderer. I cannot be offended by any NJ jokes because I am originally from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania where the women have wonderous hips and plenty of junk in their communal trunk. Throwing pearls to swine. You are so very ignorant of the rest of the world, that it's nonsensical for me to continue with this verbal castigation. It seems so much like thumb wrestling a leper. Somehow, I always seem to win. Tell you what, Joe. I'll leave you alone for another six months while you stroll the grounds of the old folks home demanding to get your teeth back or else. MMkay?

Shut up, Joe. Just shut your gummy trap for once. You can cram your title of Justicar where the sun doesn't shine and only Berli dwells. You are only one of one who truly cares what a friggen justicar is and reminding us of your insignifance is just, well...sad. I respect your ability to say nothing at length and to bold alot. That should impress someone. We will tolerate you as long as you don't mess with the testosterone impaired few that frequent our thread. Got it, Joe? Good!

Let me see... Nectaris and ADOM. That should do.

Sure, blame Peng again for your problems. How about blaming all the whiney hussies who nitpick every little part of CMBB? It must be a bug because I can't cheat the way I did in CMBO!! My infantry isn't indestructable yet, please patch the game again. My extremely enormous and heavy tanks seem to bog too often for my tastes and I find that most disconcerting. Please fix or do somefink!!

So, creating a story is "passe" yet the thread lives on either page 2 or 3? Ha!

Bah! 2d4 S/M 2d8 L</font>