Soddball

Amazon have it in stock - and there's a particularly glowing reference by yours truly.

How would you extrapolate that to CM:BB? Is it that the tungsten rounds would produce a great many "penetration - no serious damage" results, rather than knocking the tank out. I assume you'd also see an increased ricochet frequency for 'curved' armour?

I rely on primarily to sift through the dross. I can't bear having to wade through 3 paragraphs of Mike the Wino's post, which is the literary equivalent of eating cardboard spaghetti. It's nice to be able to cut to the bit where I'm being insulted and leave it at that. In the Cesspool, you only get your name bolded once you have been a squire for a time and then become a 'kanigget'. Here, we are almost communist in our equality - everyone gets bolded, if we remember.

HERE ARE MY UPDATES, PUS-SACKS!!! :mad: :mad: I tell you, if Goodale doesn't ship me a turn soon I'm going to pile so much hot, molten, face-melting TNT down his slack, drooling maw he'll be pissing MOLTEN TNT FOR THE REST OF HIS LIFE!!! :mad: :mad: MikeT and I are beating each other totally stupid in our game. 600 points, infantry-only. I recommend it. It's crazy talk. Froglord Krocker sends about one turn every four days. What a faggy nonce scumbag filthbucket goat-fellating earwig-snogging cheese fisting monkey butler. GET ME MORE TURNS! Scumbag Snarker has sent me a setup, to which I have replied. I have picked all-elite Brummbars and Elefants, which should make things interesting. Sub-slime has failed to respond to my challenge. What a scuzzbucket. I WANT MORE GAMES!! FIGHT ME, ALL OF YOU!!! Angry out loud!! :mad: :mad:

Great work on the AARs, and much appreciated. We need more of this kind of stuff, and less of Teddy Windsor. He is a harlot and a knicker-wearing pansy.

You could replace the bridge outside the town with a ford or marsh. That would mean that you could drop the elevation around it right down, and surround the area with woods and brush. Provide a couple of good covered lines of approach, one from either side, and you can be pretty sure of a lunatic firefight around the ford. People will be desperate to cross it because it's not exposed to the elements, but terrified in case their crossing tanks get savaged by infantry. As to the Wirblewind - hadn't seen it, thanks for the tip. However, I have fixed AA assets, for MTW to have mobile seems a bit odd. I would suggest three alternatives: 1) Remove the planes entirely. Remove the AA assets from both sides entirely. 2) Remove the planes, but give both sides fixed AA assets and halftracks/trucks to tow them around with. 3) Keep the planes but provide fixed AA assets for both sides. As for artillery - it's not going to be much use. Because of low numbers of infantry (which are what arty is really going to be useful against) players will have to be very lucky to achieve anything with it. You might also consider trying something fun with the wooded area. What you could do is make the river meander, put some marshes and soft ground in, then a deep ford. That would mean that some infantry from either side could slip across, and cause harassment to the enemy's forces. The meander would mean that the ford would be covered from some angles, making it more of a challenge to defend unless your setup is very good. Also noticed a shortage of support units - MGs, AT rifles, panzershrecks. They are key and can really add some excitement, particularly if the map is jiggied up to produce more 'knife-fighting' for the infantry.

MasterGoodale - you are more full of poo than a poo lorry laden to the gills. Where is my turn? One turn every six days is not enough HOT MOLTEN TNT!! :mad: :mad: . Mike the Wino suffers cruelly on this scrotal wart that Becket claims is a scenario. I have left Mike with almost no armour at all and his distress is palpable, although enjoyable. He has admitted that the prospect of becoming my wife is driving him wild with lust. My suggestions for Becket's scenario: No bugger is going to cross those bridges. Lord knows what you do about that. Too little infantry to close-assault in the town area. Aircraft can be an unknown quantity. MTW has been carved up by my plane, his one has tasted little but air. More flamethrowers, everywhere.

On turn 25 out of turn 30, I can feel victory, slick and lubricated, sliding in and out of my grasp. On the plus side, Mr Green has saved me a huge amount of work by dropping his heavy artillery on his own positions. Marvellous stuff. On the minus side, my green troops are quite tired from chasing his troops all over the battlefield and are down to about half their ammo load. Edited because I forgot who my opponent was [ March 26, 2003, 06:58 AM: Message edited by: Soddball ]

*bump* a roonie.

:mad: Who told??? Soddball, is that odor of rotten cheese stored in the belly of a corpse you? Oh, sorry, it's Goodale. Seems he's gone bleu cheese moldy this time... Setup will hopefully hit your email sometime today. I will play the winning side, you the groveling vanquished. Any preference on map and force size? Also, would you be kind enought to post recommended force sizes for the different map sizes in your FAQ? </font>

Try Village Photos for inter web hosting.

I would recommend that a second line be entered into Dave H's sig - to further point out his near-terminal incompetence - something along the lines of "I got THIS line in my sig because I lost on a PBEM whilst Mike the Wino gave my mother a good seeing-to."

For someone that ships nearly as few turns as MasterGoodale, you spend too much time talking bollocks on this board. More turns, less shash. Get to it. Although my game against Teddy Windsor is strictly part of the SEPTIC Cup Tournament, I would like to take a moment to gloat about it here. Gloating in the SEPTIC thread is bad form, but since merely turning up in this thread is bad form, I feel that gloating is entirely appropriate. Our map is a moderately wooded, hilly one - with a central wood-covered hill which you can't see across from one side of the map to the other. We The flags are on the top of this hill. Poor Teddy's tanks are rather the worse for wear. He has knocked out one of my T-34s but it has cost him 3 Panzer IIIs to do so. The fourth has dumped smoke and is cowering pathetically behind it whilst my remaining T-34s polish their sights and paint new kill rings on their turrets. Teddy has also discovered how unpleasant it can be to be on the receiving end of an SMG squad - or two. Not only that, but on my third attempt, my artillery has just started to rain down on his troops hiding in the woods. What fun! Mike the Wino and I are still glaring at each other from opposite sides of the river in Becket's evil conjuration. The river is proving to be a bit of a sticking point, since neither of use are prepared to chance crossing it. MikeT continues to receive the loving attention of my mortars. Muahahah. I demand setups from the following hoors to make my life complete. Victor rulez Loser's sig. Snarker - you love child of Michael Jackson and Hetty Wainthrop. I demand a setup. Sub-slime - I've seen rotten appendices with more life than your posts. I expect a setup, sharpish. Any other crispy-bottomed whores - rack 'em up.

Inferno has now been submitted for your moistened pleasure. Should be up in a few days. Get me my fecking turns.

My game versus GladBoy FrotWit has kicked off. He picked the settings - 1941, a map as flat and green as a snooker table, without ANY cover except for a few scrappy buildings. My forces have to attack across 600m of open ground. The boy has to be yanking my plank. This isn't a PBEM, it's an early April fool. No other bitch has sent me no stinking turns. Might Be A Whiner has sent me NUFFINK. Woosie Kohler has sent me NUFFINK. Massive Goat Fellator has sent me NUFFINK All my other opponents ain't sent mu nuffink, neivver. Twats. Get me some damn turns before I go over to your mum's house and give her something to hang her towels on.

We have him cornered and tamed in this thread. Fortunately, so long as we keep it on page 1, he stays contained. Oh, he's keeping a low profile because I am turning his Allied Assault into a lightly breaded deep-fried scampi sandwich. His tanks (the few that remain) are cowering out of reach of my AT guns, and his infantry are hiding in the patches of woodland that my machine gunners can't reach. Sadly for Goodale, the nightmare is only just beginning.

Looks like we got us another MasterGoodale clone. Back, boy! Back! Don't you be enjoyin' yourself with this game!

..red lights, blinking in surreal, ghastly mimicry of terrifying, vast sexual organs. A sign flashed above - CINEMA - spare seats between friends available...

Oh, fiddling. I read that 'F' as a 'D'. So sorry. Carry on. Cheers, Jason </font>

That scenario you've got is in beta mode at the moment - I've been fiddling around with the units to make it more interesting. Thanks to Becket who gave me the idea for the map design

Thanks for the kind words, chaps. If you have any more feedback on how to improve the scenario before I post it, let me know over the next day or so. I will be posting it at The Scenario Depot this weekend.

yeah that's right you sheep-pumping flag burning bitch. :mad: there's enough TNT2 in there to make Hitler cry out from his grave for mama! :mad: Be very careful when planning your strategy you sorry sacks of maggot-penis-puss. That battle can be tricky. :mad: And MikeTheWhiner as soon as I finish off a few of my enemies and open up some slots I'll kick that bottle-bagging commie ass all the way back to the gutter from whence it slithered. :mad: Grrraaarrrr!! :mad: </font>

ROTFLMAO!! I never knew you cared. Hey, it's the T-34s you're losing the fight against. Don't blame the KVs.

Back to the top with you! Mr Green has been hiding in a cardboard box outside Bermondsey station and has been unable to return turns. The hoor.

Do you have an Nvidia VGA card? I have a Ti4400 and I get the same graphical glitches (occasionally).