Soddball

You're not the only one. That rancid scrotum Goodale has been holding out on a turn for a week now. He just knows he's my wife, and is too scared to finish off the next 20 turns of the game. Get it over and done with Goodale, and put yourself out of my misery.

You pus-licking nadgerpube. Our game has been running for 21 turns, and I've annihilated your tanks, butchered your infantry and mashed your handful of light vehicles. What surprise am I to expect? The biggest surprise for me is when a turn materialises.

Still waiting for my turn, ItchyScrotumDale. Is it just possible you're not sending it because you don't want to be my wife? Mayhap, sirrah? Look on the bright side - with all the clusterf**ks you've made in this battle, there's little risk of the next one going any worse. Turns out this afternoon (GMT) assuming I can fit you all in. Keke/Nevermind/Wino top of the list, I can only assume Todger Windhole has taken a break from PBEM to lube up his ring. Snarker, you buttmunch. How many times to I have to tell you I can't get turns out?

Anger? More like angist: "The MG34 drum is empty! Just like my soul and all of existance." As for that smile of your how about I wipe it off your face in a nice little 800 point ME. Infantry on Infantry. Check my profile for my e-mail, we'll work out the details, and I'll send you a setup. Unlike the other 90% of the people in the Peng's TNT tread of moldy cherries; instead of talking about the game we'll be playing it. </font>

Nevermind gets his glad rags on for a big Friday night out "with the boys". With two US Navy destroyers due in harbour this afternoon, Nevermind is likely to have a particularly exhausting weekend ahead of him.

:mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: </font>

If you boost the Platoon HQ's morale to +2 and the command to +1 and combat, that will solve the worst of the 'split squad' syndrome.

With Finns, Canadians, alcoholics, Limeys, damn Yankees and assorted lunatics from parts unknown (yes, I'm talking about you Nevermind), there's more of a chance of Mike swearing off booze, Soddball making a flamethrower-free scenario and MasterGoodale not using some preposterous, lame-ass excuse for not sending turns than this thread dying. :mad: :mad: :mad: </font>

Chah. So, are we looking at this decade or the next? Goodale sends fewer turns than his wife gives head.

These sound like a mite too many rules for a thread where we would use the word 'anarchy' if we knew what it meant. Goodale, you are a slack cockmunch. How come you have time to send setups to every man and his donkey when I get one turn a night!!!. I will be putting together a slideshow of "The Greatest hits of Soddball vs MasterGoodale - the 5,000pt Epic". I am quite happy to relay them to The Brood, should it be of interest. Then you can learn just how vast a can of whooparse was opened up against Goodale.

Don't you have turns to send, you scrotal wart?

You failed, pugmonkey. :mad:

Massive Strap-On continues to be ridden like a five-dollar whore. He is bent over and being done repeatedly by 3Abt, 2nd PzGr (or sumfink). He has discovered that 'recon' works best if you: a) Use Infantry instead of Heavy tanks with crack crews Are not carrying out recon against dug-in, crack Panzergrenadiere with a plethora of AT guns. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! So, when you've finished sucking the jizm from the ruptured sphincters of Cuban ladyboys, send me the surrender file. Oh Goodale, my sig is going to look pretty fantabulous soon - and so is yours. :mad: :mad: You wanna buy some pegs? Every other bidge has had their turn. Mike_the_Wankstain is cowering like a hermit in turn 2 of our game. Teddy Windsor is being pureed into a vinaigrette dressing. NeverInteresting is continuing to play our ME like an attack/defend. Some excuse about the terrain. Kranky and I are achieving nothing in our moon-cratered night-time horror film. SnackRock's email account is still bouncing my turns!!!

GARGAHARGHARGRGARARARARGARHGARGARGAHG!!!!!!! I live!! Turns are going out to everyone except MajorHeadCase as I type this. The only reason the resident nutball is missing his turn is because HE HASN'T SENT ME ONE!!!! Goodale - spare yourself the next 10 turns of slaughter and humiliation and surrender. No-one will think any less of you than they do at present. That would scarcely be possible. Wike the Mino and his jizm-filled kleenex of a scenario are to be cursed for all eternity. We have managed 2 turns apiece and what with my piss-artist lifestyle and his generally being ****e we should finish around Doomsday. Teddy (the Strap-on) Windsor is heading towards certain annihilation in his game against me. If I can just see past the mounds of bodies belonging to my soldiers.... Faglord Grockalock continues to offer the same sort of PBEM thrill as one might expect from a particularly itchy verruca. It's a shame his gaming doesn't match his posting, because we would, I believe, have a prodigy on our hands. NeverBother and I continue to whoop and wail at each other. He has stealth machine guns and I suck. In other news, Mywifegobbleslikeatrooperdale has been preparing himself for his approaching wifedom by checking out the Bridal gowns:

Your screen isn't freezing. "To the Volga" takes forever to process a turn. On my 850 Athlon with 512MB of RAM it took 15 minutes. Start the turn, make a cup of tea, watch a football match and come back.

You..if you want to dance. I had quite a bit of luck in our last battle, and you've deserved a rematch if you want. Same conditions as I offered MG. </font>

That's forrinors for you. All forrin and stuff. Even their weather isn't proper weather like we get over here in England, where the history comes from.

Who plays Allies? Not that it matters - Hortlund would beat you like a dusky bathmat if he had a platoon of partisans and you had Army Group Centre.

You mean, two regiments of infantry pouring through the lines to be massacred by enemy tanks, MG's and field guns while your tanks are held off behind a ridge? </font>

You could always read the FAQ. That would tell you. If the large numbers of words are too scary, just search the page for CMMOS. Why would you want to download it if you don't know what it is or what to do with it? That's just wierd. I can tell you don't have a 56k modem.

Can't infantry move through roadblocks? If that's the case, I expect you'd be mighty surprised when 2 regiments of infantry and heavy artillery pour through your lines.

For what it's worth - and that's an awful lot - I agree with Teddy and Boxing Helena-theWino. Points victories suck goat. I propose that a victory is only a victory if you get the word 'victory' in the final scory panel. If it says 54/46 DRAW then that, in my mighty and shiny opinion with moistened soles, smacks not of victory but of suckage, and it seems most unfair to lose a sig primarily because of your opponent's suckage. Sigs are too valuable to be lost to mere draws. Sigs have honour, they have power, they have elan, they say something vital about who we are and what we believe in. To have some evil abomination in one's sig simply because of a draw is profoundly wrong. I am also going to campaign for the return of the Sig length to 500 characters instead of the weasely 256 it is now. I had to trim all of my favourite links out of my Sig to fit my humiliating defeats in. :mad: :mad:

All of Soddball's Whooparse has been delivered to your inboxes. Goodale!!: Where's my damn turn? Teddy!!: Stop pretending to be asleep!! Other hoors so irrelevant I can't remember them!!!: Bitches. Goodale, I request that you and Axe1781203 play Inferno. Even a SuckMeister General like you has some chance of victory.

Who's been feeding him sugar again? If you've got time to post, Maggotdale, you've got time to send me a turn. My inbox is as empty as your head. Send a turn, pronto!!

Goodale, you warty love funnel. You haven't even grazed my defences: For all those interested in the status of Goodale's game against me, here are the losses: Me: 1 Company HQ 1 Panzershreck 2 HMG-42s 1 Halftrack Goodale: 2 SU-152s 1 KV-85 7 T-34s 3 M16 Halftracks 1 T-60 2 Universal Carriers :eek: Goodale has just TWO tanks left and my only concern now is which of my dozen or more heavy guns I should use to paste them with this time. He is particularly pleased because he's taken over two flags which I had no defenders on whatsoever.