Papa Khann

Well, I do believe you, YK2. But much as I'd like to, it's not like I'll believe absolutely anything. Try as I might, there are a few things I can't bring myself to believe. For instance, here are a few things I've heard (even if they were just rumors) that I don't believe. * <big>Underneath his scaly exterior and anima of pure evil, Berli is a misunderstood soul. Quite a lovely fellow, actually.</big> Lord knows I WANT to believe this one. But who could? * <big>Boo has a soul.</big> In my view, only sentient creatures have souls, which thereby rules out the possibility that Boo could have one. If any of you want to believe that flora have souls, go ahead. Since quite a few of you strike me as having the sense of alfalfa, it won't surprise me. * <big>Somewhere deep in the recesses of his withered carcass, Joe has a heart.</big> This one had me baffled for a moment. That is, until I figured out that the question it poses is a trick question. Of course Joe has a heart. Not his own, mind you. And Lord only knows what manner of beast he stole his counterfeit from. It just doesn't bear thinking about. * <big>Pantless Leader really does have Yarbles.</big> LOL. * <big>dalem has nice gams</big>. I don't know and don't WANT to know. And so I choose to "just say no" to the notion of dalem expanding his sordid wardrobe any further. If I have to see him in a catsuit, I demand that it be kept full length. Papa [ October 26, 2002, 04:22 PM: Message edited by: Papa Khann ]

That's right. Heavy date last night. So, which cousin was this, again?</font>

On the contrary, lad, in our last battle you did such a fine job of sacrificing your hapless pixeltruppen with gay abandon (not that there's anything wrong with that) that I'm convinced you could exhibit the same ineptitude no matter how many units were at your disposal. Papa

Rather than bore the lot of you useless pillocks (Ladies of the 'Pool excepted, of course) to death with yet more gamiest of gamey updates, I thought perhaps this evening I'd try to take a slightly different approach to boring you all to death. So without further ado, I offer this, the first MBT Evening Update.... Tonight, dear readers, it appears we have: Pantless Leader: He's taken to posting lunatic drivel that only he can hope to understand. Or in other words, nothing new to report here. YK2: At home, eyes no doubt drooping from lack of sleep, sitting in the middle of the room with every light in the place turned on. Apparently she's had a bit too much of the jitters from having watched some "Dog Boy" movie. She also seems preoccupied with dancing penguins. Not sure how that all ties together. I just pray that it doesn't involve dalem in yet another tawdry getup. I'm still trying to recover from that whole "cat suit" incident. Leeo: Is busy being a gamey bastiche and blowing things up. Some SSN using a name he probably got out of a dictionary for one of the, according to him, multitude of languages he speaks: So, Walpurgis Night wants us all to go away because he doesn't like us being here, eh? I don't understand. Why don't you like me more, Walpy? Here I thought everybody likes me. In fact, I'm sure of it (well, everyone except Berli... but he hates everyone, which sort of counterbalances all the love, which when you think about it in a really twisted sort of way, is Berli's own very selfless form of love for me). Walpy, I think what your post really was is a cry for help. I know you really want to be my friend, Walpy. And I want to be your friend too. You can trust me, Walpy. I won't laugh at you or poke fun like the other kids do, Walpy. Well, ok, maybe in the 'Pool, I will. But after we get me moved into your basement, I won't taunt you or poke you with sharp sticks. At least not while you're awake. Need1 and Boo_Rattly: Must be getting tired of the constant whuppings they've been receiving in CM and have decided to go to the movies. Sounds like they're leaning towards a Disney remake of some "Dogface Slashers" horror film. I only hope for their sake it's not starring dalem in yet another role from his "young and confused" period. Abbott: Is surfing the Internet for lawyer porn. BeerGut: Is stoking the fires down below, biding his time and waiting for the next one of us to make their last mistake. Maladjusted: First ranting, then cajoling, then perfectly logical (well, as near to it as this git can come, anyway). Persephone: Is dining in. Lars: Is dining out. I hope all the best for him, but sadly suspect another episode of "Leisure Suit Lars". Papa [ October 23, 2002, 11:27 PM: Message edited by: Papa Khann ]

Abbott, Great story. Made me laugh out loud. I suspect it's all a pack of lies, mostly because lawyers are involved rather than because it's far-fetched. Also, it sort of makes me feel like lighting Mr. Peeper on fire. Not sure why, but as that could only be a good thing, I thank you. Papa

Boo, you dolt, please do be more careful. It's bad enough I have to put up with the shiftless lot of degenerates who inhabit this hole (Ladies of the 'Pool excepted, of course). But having had the severe misfortune to meet Joe in person, I can assure you that if Shaw shows up without pants, I'm gone. And I suspect the old buggerer has been hunched atop his perch, shriveled muscles tensed and coiled (well, as close to it as Joe is able to manage at his age, anyway), just waiting to pounce on such an opportunity. Oh how I loath the notion. And by the way, it's SEAMIER, not SEEMIER. Idjit. Papa

Hey, Boo, nice photo of dalem there. Did you take that while the two of you were dating? And oh by the way, if it's the last thing I ever do, I'm going to punish you for the nightmares I'll be suffering during the next month or two. Bastiche. Papa

Thanks, YK2, I liked that song a lot. Dunno why, but I did. Now that you mention it, I've yet to visit any of my bridges (I own them all over the state of Florida... mostly in the lower portion of the state, mind you) with my own eyes. Say, you don't suppose.... Papa

Joe, when you're finished with Persephone's bucket, please hand it back to the pool (clean it out first this time though, Joe). I think the image of dalem in a catsuit is going to incite all present to the need of a good bucket. Come to think of it, even just the thought of dalem is doing the trick for me. Hurry up, Joe! Papa

No one else would take you? Papa

No... No loose change in those drawers, Joe (since when has a miser like Joe left so much as a shilling laying about?). Just a small wooden box with the letters PL's Yarbles engraved upon it. Papa

Clearly, you have lost more than your vowels in long, dark hours skulking in this thread.</font>

Hey, CMplayer, if you've got something even moderately entertaining to post, fine, but in future, how's about we don't include links to annoying pop-ups like that, k? Papa

Ok, I received a turn from BeerGut, but in the last day or so that's it. Either you slaggards are down in the cellar checking each others navels for lint again, or PondSlum has finally taken offense to my slurs against MSN and decided to block my email account for good. Well, which is it? Hmmmmm? Papa

Boo-Boo, you dolt, that flag symbolized my profound sense of pity for you and your overmatched pixel-truppen. So what if the AI fixed us up with the CM version of the Kobayashi-Maru. After all, Herr Rattly, how we deal with inevitable defeat is at least as important as how we deal with victory. Wouldn't you agree? Papa

SomeNachos, I believe the only one likely to rise to his fee around here would be Mr. Peeper, who will, I'm told, spring to his feet at the mere sound of jingling coins. Papa

Hey, hate seeker turned flower child/love boy, head back to your nook at the commune and send me another turn. You can flirt with Mr. Peeper later. Papa [ October 15, 2002, 12:50 AM: Message edited by: Papa Khann ]

SmallyBlob, try learning to read. How's about we start with the first post in this thread? And try to stay awake during the part where it spells out how lower order life forms such as yourself should really consider limiting your challenges to someone specific. Trust me, it's for your own protection. And after you've brushed up on the whole be specific thing, why not try to wrap that limp noodle you call a brain around the sod off part? Papa

I'm confused (admittedly, nothing new there). Am I supposed to get *off* my worthless ass? Or are you trying to imply that NeedAOne, Boo-Boo, and I are to derive some benefit *from* our worthless asses? Papa PS If you're having trouble getting turns through, try, try again. It's probably MSN's fault. But Pantless Leader has been doing it. And if he can, so can anyone.

R_Late, had you a family... well, a human family, anyway... you might be able to appreciate how seeing relatives can sometimes make one yearn for the grassy green fields of their youth. In your case, I'm sure they decided to detain you at the institution indefinately, so not to worry. Now scamper back to your hole and send me a turn, git. Papa

But I'll bet it does have a nice shiny wheel and a pair of hamsters named Bert and Alvin. So you've got that going for you, which is nice... Papa

Eeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. PK, I'm almost sorry I abandoned you to the delusional whims of a demented old codger. Almost.</font>

Ladies and worms, I'd like to take a moment to thank all the little people (and no, Gnome, I don't mean vertically challenged) who helped make this moment a reality for me. ..... There. That should about do it. Joe, I'll have my stuff out of the castle tomorrow. Come to think of it, since you confiscated everything I owned when you took me to squire, I guess I'm all moved out already. I'll vacate the premises in about a week. It shouldn't take longer than that to finish consuming the rest of the dry goods. As for the contents of the wine cellar, I'll stop by sometime when you're out to finish transferring what's left to that derelict van (you know, the one down by the river) you so kindly procured for me. Papa

Something descriptive would be good. Something catchy. Something that would preferably keep Boo occupied and out of our hair for about two years. Longer would of course be better. But I could live with two years. Alternatively, something that cries out "Who are these obsessive pillocks?" How about TheeCess 'R Us? LOL. Get it? Boy sometimes I just crack myself up. Papa

Fancy Water, thanks for the horrid image of you I now have lodged in my mind. I can only imagine (and try to forget) what sordid acts a buggerer like you performed to "get out of a traffic ticket". Papa