Geier

I'd like to thank the Nobel Academy and ... oh right, wrong speech. Ahem. Thank you. Words fail me. Next inhumation is free, my account. A small quid pro quo though, I've never actually, as it were, made any Crodaballs. Hakkoballs, Berliballs, Seanachaballs, Moriartyballs, Germanballs, Pengballs and menschballs yes. But never Crodaballs. Are they any good? St Bauhaus? Your cue I believe?

RIGHT ON!!! We did? I thought it was the European Championship? Morally, though... yes you're quite right. WE WON YOU BASTARDS WE WON!!!

You really try to live up to the Idjit in your name don't you? I know quite a bit about Scunthorpe and if you are so unfamiliar with the English language that you can't see what team gets the boot in the original statement you can add "Really Big" in front of Idjit. And Swedes certainly seem to know how to run national sides wouldn't you agree? See you on June 2nd, loser. And if I ever start a team we'll call ourselves Dynamo Fjordsturmknacker FC so you won't get any royalties. Johan

And then there is us. Check your inbox and weep. Feel free to curse us and damn us. We feel we've earned it. And it's the second time. We knocked off a two-four of a nations bishops and bailiffs once. Tuscany, mid-sixteenth century I think it was. Those were the days. Now there just aren't any days, not any real days like we had back then. Johan

Thank you. That explains just about everything if you ask me. So, when do we get to the nail him-to-a-piece-of-wood-until-he's-really-sorry part? Let me know. Your friend and occasional henchman, Johan

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Noba: I'm not sure that the 'dibs' is, in this case, legal.<hr></blockquote> We hope not. That would go against everything we stand for. <blockquote>quote:</font><hr> Should it then not follow that a, SOD OFF ! follows ? <hr></blockquote> In my experience, it always does, therefore it goes without saying. Unless of course the reader is a wanker, loser and an aussiepommiegitstralian. So, just for you: SOD OFF! Johan [ 01-29-2002: Message edited by: Geier ]</p>

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by BilgeRat: Aaarrgh!!This talk of the French turns the stomache.<hr></blockquote> I like it. Is it taken? Fair enough then, let it be known that The Olde Firm has dibs on this one and as soon as it produces an email address in its profile it is to be considered Ours. In every sense of the worde. Johan

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Croda: And do you think it's bad that my 2 year old asks more intelligent questions than the stoopid morons on the main board?<hr></blockquote> Oh, you got one of thems "smart ones" too huh? Yeah, it's a bummer but just remember to beat him up good whenever he tries to get wise on you. Damn 2 year-olds, think they know it all. Upetty-Upettates: Pengslut: I'm being the instrument of some weird revenge from Andreas visited upon our favorite podling. Happy to be of service, as always. He got one of my half-squads and a JABO dropped two big bombs on a running schreck team who are still alive. They'll never cross open spaces again but they are alive. The podsters forces are mostly not. Ethan: I want this scenario to go on forever. Yes, I'm hurting him that bad. He has more arty than Stalin but I have lean mean killing-machine fallschirmgerbils from hell. I expect he'll have craploads of reinforcements soon which is a good thing since I'm running out of targettes. Seanachiprosit: We're doing a nasty little foggy murdering game from Moriarty and I'm running out of things to murder. Suffice to say, I'm murderatiing him just as good as last time. We aim to please. mensch: We're quite possibly losing this one, which is fine really since we feel that if you have to lose you might as well do it to someone who doesn't have a clue of what he's doing or what day it is. Last thing I heard he was "preparing to wear his monday with an apple and complete acumen." Simon Fox: Is using our game to live out his most perverse groggly fantasies. So far he's timing and measuring some sort of artillery "unit" (Fraudians, let's not go there) and it's "blast" in late autumn, dry conditions and asking whether I believe the wooden patch he's mutilating has any birches. Apparently BTS has modelled the burst radii in late fall Belgian oaks completely wrong. Good to know I suppose. Andreas: We're shooting at each other and he's trying to cross a bridge. It'll end up in mindless slaughter and insanely high casualty rates as usual. We enjoy it. Start rotting, Johan [ 01-26-2002: Message edited by: Geier ]</p>

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Seanachai: Bugger, once again, just when you need them, there are no evil minions around.<hr></blockquote> Ahem.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Persephone: I have agreed to design your Air Cess logo...<hr></blockquote> It is ... too late. Bwahahaaa! See simHQ thread for the Glory of Air Cess. Bwahahhaaaa! Ahem. Johan

Until I have found and murdered the persons (I hope there was more than one, I've already gutted two) responsible for not making my net connect work properly I am unable to receive turns or venture online in a, shall we say, flying fashion. Hopefully enough heads will have toppled off their respective shoulders by tonight so that I can continue doing what I do. And also, possibly, lose to mensch. Johan

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Joe Shaw: He really should have been able to pick up on the CRETE / cretin line. <hr></blockquote> Oh. Is that what "they" call a pune, or, a play on words? Never ate one of those before. Now for some off-topic free advice: 1. Buy and read "Fighter Combat" by Robert L. Shaw, published by Naval Institute Press. It explains the basics of fighter to fighter combat, from Ball and Richthofens days through Erich Hartmann to today. All you need to know, but hard to digest. A decent energy fighter beats all turnfighters any day of the week. 2. To kill planes with tailgunners. Get behind and below. Worked from 1916 and onwards. If a tailgunner can hit you while his ac is rolling (to get a firing solution or to avoid you) they need to fix it. 3. Get close. Then get even closer. Fire when you see the other guys nasal hair. Sorry for going off-topic there. Turns out tonight. Johan (J5Geier on the IL2 forum)

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Joe Shaw: Pay attention will you Geier? This is IL-2, EASTERN FRONT? If you want to fly over the Med you'll have to wait or get a mod for EAW. <hr></blockquote> If you don't think they had Friedrichs on THE EASTERN FRONT you've been reading the wrong books. On this page it is included. Or aren't any German AC flyable? Hard to tell from that list. (edited to add that I'm now off to get plastered and explain how stupid Marines are to my old friend the fresh Marine.) [ 01-04-2002: Message edited by: Geier ]</p>

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Lawyer: Yes, Red Joe, I have purchased IL-2 Sturmovik.<hr></blockquote> Oh this is too good to pass up. I'll buy it. The opportunity to blow you cretins out of the sky with a Me109-F's 15mm o' love brings a tear of joy to my eye. I had decided that my simming days were over but this one looks very neat. How is the AI? Can you stall wings independently? Can you set up arenas for Pengers only? How would you rate the flight model? Lemme know, Johan

Hiram, Thank you for that piece of news. It is good to have proof that there is always hope and that sometimes, sometimes things work out alright. I find that an encouraging thought. I don't pray, but all three of you have my best wishes. Johan

Roight you prancing gits. I've made a damndely-damn fine scenario that I want you losers to test thoroghly. It's a bit too big to be a Byte battle but I thoroghly recommend it for hotseat or pbem play. Size-wise it's about the same as Riesberg the old classic. Send me a gawdam email and tell me who you're playing. It doesn't work against the AI as it is far too clever by half. It's about as balanced as a snake with armpits but hey, it's not about winning after all. It's about making the other guy lose. And turns will go out to everyone tomorrow. I've been creating again and you know what that does to me. Johan

If the problem is credit cards and what you can and can't do with them, great. Cause I have the solution. Just do what I do and pay by IMO (International Money Order). Yes, there were ways to make business transactions worldwide before there was credit cards. I paid my copy of CMBO by IMO and, get this, I even made it out to Big Time Software, yadda-yadda United Kingdom. And it worked anyway. OK, BTS, pay attention. I would like to pre-order four (4, vier, quattro, fyra) copies of Combat Mission: Barbarossa to Berlin. I want to pay by IMO now. You must guarantee that my order will be in the first shipment to Europe. This is not a joke or an insincere offer. If you are interested let me know. Johan

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Moriarty: Sent him an e-mail a few days ago, but have heard nothing. Perhaps, he shook his private parts one too many times at the jarheads, or they found out he has better weapons than they do, and they attacked.<hr></blockquote> That is still no explanation why we haven't heard of him. He has better weapons than the jarheads. A more reasonable explanation would be that he mistakenly read something by that idon use capitalssakai and had to wash his grammar teacher eyes with acid. Stranger things have been known to happen.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Herr Oberst: Dammit Geier. I'd expect better behavior from a SK such as yourself. You've gone and left the door open and now we have street vendors wandering around the 'pool...<hr></blockquote> As long as you don't actually buy anything off them I fail to see the harm. And I never fail to see harm done, of that I can assure you. Since I have the super-power to automatically skip all useless posts from useless twits I have to take your word for their idiocy. Mind you, I'd much rather take your head for it, but for now, words will have to suffice. In fact, I believe if we could persuade some of the useless pillockses to consume those ... things for sale onna stick or inna bun we (at least I) would be all the better for it. The real problem with cockroacheses is that no one is willing to pay the proper amount for having them removed and so they usually resort to sic'ing St. Bauhaus or Brother Mace on them. Amusing (times being what they are), but ineffective. Sod off, Johan

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Berlichtingen: The following shall hold lands in the Royal Demesne:Sir Giere, Knight Commander of the Frozen North, The Olde Firm [ 12-18-2001: Message edited by: Berlichtingen ]<hr></blockquote> I thought I'd put this on our card but if you would do us the evil and learn to spell my name ... ahahaa. I see, how amusing. Carry on. I think Mark IV, Knight of Outdated AFV's that make splodey noiseses should have a piece of newly liberated beach to keep him happy. Any news from thither? Johan The Olde Firme

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by mensch: This still means I'm not processing turns you bums (that means you too Geier) <hr></blockquote> Look baby, it's only a movie file for you. All ya gotta do is press play, fast forward and press done. Then send the motherbeautiful file my way. Think you can do that baby? It will be beautiful. I promise. Johan

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Seanachai: And, Geier, what of the 'Old Firm'?<hr></blockquote> We say as we are wont of saying. We expect to be paid the usual sum and we also have a special offer for the festive season: You can choose between having the objects head (or other easily separated body part) on a plate OR onna stick! (Limited time offer, free of charge, no strings (or anything too sticky) attached. Cauterization is extra.) Happy crucificial holidays and Best regards, Johan, The Old firm