Geier

Let there be Joy and Large Explosions, turns are out. Sitrep: Armies of Scaliness, KG Goanna: Are being thwarted everywhere almost. I've never thwarted much before but I'm really thwarting now. Despite the fact I have ze French pigdogs. My scaly opponent made the mistake of Not Being Paranoid Enuff, something that happens once in a blue moon with me, esp when doing setups in a scenario from Berlis Angry period. Kind of like assuming that everything you read before setup in an Andreas-made sceario is true. The Hiram: Everything is on fire and Hiram is thinking about buttocks. Not much new otherwise. Ethan: Who is off being kicked in the head by other people than me is dying prettily in the snow. He's using a special tactic of flaming houses he needs to occupy in order to advance. And he really needs to advance. Toodles

You can check out any time you like. But you can never leave.

Premises invaded by unknown alien force going under the name of "Relatives". No turns out for a few days. We hate you all etc etc. In haste, Johan

Where I come from we hang people like you. For a very long time in a very nasty place. Post a pic of the Albatros Werke D VII will you? Everyone, and the Kitchenspuehle ausf G, knows that the most mother-beautiful plane of the First World War was the Fokker D VII. Albatros did not do a D VII model that was put into the field. Now, write down which aircraft type ol Manfred von Richthofen scored the most of his victories in. Without doing a search.

Sure. I need your address though and you have to pay via IMO. Happy to help. Johan

The Old Firm is expanding. Due to an increase in demand (not revenue sadly) we have been allowed (by the powers that be) to hire yet another associate. Said associate will begin training in roughly 36 weeks time and will indubitably help us with keeping our very demanding customers happy, as soon as he/she is on solids and has put away the comforter. Since this is our second hired associate we do not expect the same state of mind that followed the announcement of the previous one, which could be likened to being in the same small enclosed space as a fired panzerschreck. We are, on the (w)hole, taking it rather well. Even if we just decided to take up smoking for a bit. Turns will continue to be churned out regularly (even if they will be a bit late tonight) and you can continue to take comfort in the fact that we will uphold our fine traditions of charging you. As soon as the room stops spinning. Johan P.S Ethan. Send me a fecking a file after you're done blowing your bra... shooting yourself in the head. [ July 16, 2002, 02:46 PM: Message edited by: Geier ]

It's got knobs on, you fool. Send me a fecking turn instead of arguing with that Ladder Rep. We non-members of the No-House shouldn't lower ourselves to such discourse. However, since it is you, I'm not surprised. I am also pleased to note that the game versus The Hiram is progressing nicely and that the files may indeed eventually reach an even larger size than the first action file I dispatched to The Lizard, head honcho of Der Lizard Armee Gruppe Sud. Since I am forced to using french people to further my aims I might just decide to let him kill em all. But that fecking file was huge. We hopes it had lots of sploded lizards in it. Ethan is dying beautifully in the snow, no wonder as he is up against my elite FallschirmhamsterGruppe Arctic Bastards. Cor, that was a bit of an update, wsn't it guv? Guv? So I'm a bit tired. Sue me. Sue Ellen.

With the aid of that lovable old Victorian Age Criminal Mastermind Moriarty the previous contents of this post has been wiped out from the face of the earth. Or at least the disk on the server. Thank you. [ July 12, 2002, 06:53 PM: Message edited by: Geier ]

In all honesty, so did the "Three teams with dirty words in their names" skit. I can admit to looking absolutely stunning in Julie Andrews gear though.

Well, that would leave ... us. No one has ever questioned us on our ethics. Or morals come to think of it. And we're as impartial as they come. We're even Swedish after a fashion. The Old Firm

Firstly, there is no House Geier. We never found anyone we liked enough to sponsor. Except maybe The Scunthorpian Donkey. Secondly, the goal is the same as always. Thirdly, we have a lunch appointment with the crazed Dr Alimantado today so I'll have to run along and do some actual work before that.

Recently absent is he? What a shame. So, you really haven't found his corp... I mean his corset, yet? Sadly, we know almost nothing about where his remains might ... Where he remains presently. We'll let you know as soon as we hear anything. Sorry to hear about the loss of such a large and dangerous asset.

Course not Sir. Right you are Sir. We would never dream of charging you a Red Cent. So, Five Unspecified-and-yet-to-be-invented-ways-to-make-people-really-sorry was it? Thank you for your order. Do come again.

I really really wouldn't take this Mr Boo_Radley. Give them your pinkie and they'll rip off your arm and beat you to a pulp with it. Or so we've heard. Time to show them who's boss if you ask us. Yes.

My thoughts exactly Sir. How dare he? Who does he think he is? I'll bet he wouldn't be talking so tough if he was to be thrown into a meat grinder. Just an example. Or might I interest you in a bit of arson? Homicidal of course. Or, our Millennia Special, General Beheadings? We aim to please.

Yes. But we'll take it for you. A pleasure. Next!

Mr Satan Sir. I wouldn't take this if I was you. Time to teach those Shavian dogs a lesson I would think. Since we always have an open account for you and yours we will not charge you an arm and a leg this time. One of your squires' will do nicely. You know where to find us, The Old Firm

Dear Mr Shaw As you know, we in the Old Firm have always supported your good work as Justicar of the Pool and gladly taken the assignments given to us. With enthusiasm. Therefore we feel it is our duty to inform you that according to our discreete sources House Berli might be, even as you painstakingly mutter your way through this message syllable by syllable, putting out a contract on you and your House. As you know we can be trusted to carry out any sort of depraved mission on anyone at any place in any time, should you deem it necessary to strike first. Let it not be said that you are a boring old fart that lets others have their way with you and yours. We hear that that is more or less what House Berlis denizens are saying. Looking forward to your order, The Old Firm

The Hiram You have failed to send us a setup. We noticed that, strangely enough. The Lizard King has offered to play "To the Last Man" by Andreas or "Village Les Moulins" by Satan. Since we have played neither we have decided that we will play His Satanic Majestys Scenario against Goanna as the Allies. The reason for this is that anyone choosing the titles Rittmeister and Freiherr must know the difference between an Albatros DIII and a Pfalz DIII. This scores highly in The Book. That leaves just you, us, a bottle of suspicious-smelling spirits and "To the Last Man". We will be the krauts. You will be the others. If you have already played this scenario please delete all knowledge. Or find something else. Looking forward to hearing from you, The Old Firm

You have Houses these days? What a novel idea. One might think that there exists som (mild of course) rivalry between these Houses am I correct? So, going out on a limb, there are instances where one House is upset with another House yes? And would like some members of that other bad House hurt, distorsoed, dismembered, disembowelled or disordas but just haven't the guts/time to perform this themselves? Right. Anyone seen Yojimbo? Fistful of dollars? Last man standing? Flight of the Raven? No? Good. Cue Commercial The Old Firm is, as always, happy to perform any service involving pain, death or discomfort to your competitiors that your sick twisted little minds can come up with. We can charge you by the hour, per head or just charge you. For further information on our services you may order our little booklet How to get a head in advertising. For references, see above poster and Atlanta. At our sevice, The Old Firm "Dismembering and Ignoring people since 1172 AD"

Look! A nerdling. Why is it? Johan

Thass right! Uh no it isn't. There is one name for one unit type that's changed and one bitmap. A non-German attacking Germanys own supreme laws and calling them totalitarian because someone else in another country might not get to see a bitmap of the SS runes in a computer game? Self-righteous crap. If you believe that information about what happened before and during WW2 is lacking or unavailable in Germany you're wrong. Johan

You're on. Send us a setup, prefab if you please.

That is quite enough outta you, you you ...pant ... person. Send me a setup.

I think I speak for both me and that other odd fellow when I truthfully and honestly, with malice as an afterthought, answer you that the answer to the question that you asked is NO! and ABSOLUTELY NOT. You may commence with the flailing about at Moons leisure. Screaming, while amusing to us, well me at least, won't help.