Joe Shaw
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Posts posted by Joe Shaw
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Lorak, you incomprehensibly ignorant incompetent you've managed to screw up my ratings on your alleged page. You show me at 1/2/0 when I have, in point of fact, lost not a single game to a pooler*!
My record, as best I can recollect, should be 1/0/2, representing a win against Geeks, and two draws versus the hated and evil Eathanwhosenamesoundslikeasneeze. Furthermore your list of games in progress shows a game continuing against Geeks when I have vanquished him and refuse to play further against an acknowledged splitter.
Fix it, you simpleton, or face my wrath. And BTW, no whining about how you're doing this for free, I have to listen to that music each time and it's bringing me down so this is just punishment.
* As a preemptive strike against Andreas, my two losses to him (yes, we know Andreas, you're the very embodiment of tactical knowledge) occurred PRIOR to the establishment of the rankings ... the same is also true of a loss to Lower GI Tom. This is in accordance with the rules YOU published, Lorak, so no whining on that score either. As to the games and their status, time will tell but odds are very good that the "2" shown in the loss column will NOT represent my personal best in that category ... if you get my drift.
Joe
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Gentlepoolers (and Andreas) surely we are too hard on young Rainpoet who showed, if nothing else, a fine sense of discernment in seeking to join our ranks. Granted his name is ... well, sissified to a degree, but we've lived with Senility's moniker and can surely adapt to this one. Granted his approach reminds one more of Hiram than Roborat, yet we gave Hiram another opportunity ... he has fallen on evil times and in with evil companions {couGeeksgh} but promise was there. Granted he displays no passion or fire or even panache ... Oh to hell with it ... get a freaking life Stainpoet! You're a blight on humanity and an embarrassment to lower forms of life ... of which there are TWO that occupy ranks below yours. Were it not for my continued occupancy of this CessPool and the resultant ability to retain my lunch, I'd have been talking on the big white phone, flashing my food, abasing myself before the porcelain goddess and, yes, blowing chunks at your polite prattle long before now. SOUND OFF LIKE YOU GOT A PAIR SON!
There ... I feel better now.
Joe
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Oyez, Oyez, Oyez
Gather ye all and hear the pronouncement of The One The True Cesspool upon the fate of the heretic and splitter known as Hamster, a.k.a. Meeks, a.k.a. Geeks. Hear and tremble for the judgement of the True Knights of The One The True Cesspool, the Original and the New and Improved Peng Thread is as follows:
Upon the head (or whatever the body part sticking up above his shoulders actually IS) of the foul traitor, heretic and splitter has been called down Jihad! and Blood Hamster. Upon the head of the squeaking little sycophant Hiram is called down ... nothing, he is beneath our contempt.
The True Knights of The One The True Cesspool have spoken. Let the warning to any others who would besmirch the name of The One The True Cesspool go forth with this ruling ... hear us ... and tremble.
Joe
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Jihad! Jihad! Jihad! ... oh and Blood Hamster Too!
<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>The bottom dwelling scum (i.e. our resident legal eagle) testified to the following:Shaw your puerile sycophancy of senilpee's observation calls into question your true obsession with Mormon wives,<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> NO ONE can question my devotion to the noble art of posting Mormon Wives, counselor, but I am prevented at present from acceding to your challenge on the grounds that I am already over my limit in games with attorneys ... i.e. I have ONE going and that's one too many. Therefore, go sequester yourself with your torts or something.
<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>And then Eathanwhosenamesoundslikeasneeze feebly responds to my brilliant prose by saying:And this would be in the turn you are too afeared to send me? The one with all the burning Kruppstahl?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> All things come to he who waits ... including defeat! The longer you wait, the longer you'll be able to avoid the inevitable post to this thread stating I have lost to Joe Shaw. Ask not for whom the bell tolls my friend, ask not. <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR> And finally BlouseHouse awakens from his methane induced coma long enough to post:Boy Joe Squaw, you don't let me reply to any of the open lines you give me. By the way, what smells here, who died?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> That's because I will respond SO much more appropriately than you would, no, don't thank me, it's all part of the service. As to the smell, I think WasteMace took his shoes off again.
Lastly, Pope Peng? Surely that's a bit much, next he'll be posting in the Papal "We".
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>My take on this is that I will post all of the previous thread in a single post on Geeks Confederate thread and nuke it with simulatneous 3000 posts of taunting glory.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Gee I was just calling for a Jihad ... you really ARE evil ... I Like It!
Joe
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Gentlemen (and Andreas) we have a challenge to our authority as the keepers of the One and True Cesspool ... mind you it's only from Geeks and not to be taken seriously, but the younger and ill-informed on the board may not immediately recognize his brick addled state and think horrors! that his {shudder}cesspool thread is actually the One and True Cesspool. He has posted, on the public board mind you, the following travesty: <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>I want nothing to do with your incestuous Brotherhood and I renounce it myself! Gone, Chup, gone are the days of the Illuminati and the self-serving Elders!!!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> It saddens me the more, I think, that we had welcomed him into our bosom (Not THAT kind of bosom Blousehouse, geeze get a grip ... not THAT kind of Grip ... where's the brick?). Why I myself had engaged in a PBEM game with him and traded Knightly insults on the thread. And now this treachery. Gentlemen of the One And True Cesspool (EVEN Andreas) ... I Call Jihad!
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Eathanwhosenamesoundslikeasneeze whined thusly: I thought that thread would last forever: I was wrong.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
Well Stop The Bleeding Presses, We Have A Scoop! He was wrong, what a shocker that is. But it turns out that he's wrong yet again, because the Peng thread will last forever as long as we who nurtured it continue to honor our trust as true Knights of the 'Pool. Is it the same, of course not, all things change (except for Geeks of course), hell even Andreas is employed in the real world now. So buck up there, Eathan old chum, yes it's different but it's the same too (kind of a Zen thing I suppose). Here, let me prove it:
Eathanwhosenamesoundslikeasneeze has deployed his troops in some semblance of a defensive formation that he no doubt divined from the formation of Honey-O's floating in his breakfast cereal bowl. But his hopes of victory will be as chilled as the fingers of his frightened infantry who shudder with fear and cold ... but mostly fear in their foxholes as they curse the man who put them in the path of my invincible forces. But perhaps their fingers will at least be warmed ... on the flaming carcasses of the Detroit pig iron immolated on the road as testament to his hubris.
Joe
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ARE WE MEN OR ARE WE HAMSTERS? Hmmm, damn good question now that I think on it. But in any case I too show my solidarity with the other Knights of 'Pool by posting HERE! And I say to you brothers (and Andreas) that Geek's travesty of a thread must be expunged, nay erased from our memories so that it only remains as a foul and noxious scent (which is pretty damned foul and noxious to make an impression here) wafting into our nostrils. I mean after all, the man lost to ME!
But Gentlemen (and Andreas) I come not to praise the Original Peng Thread but to bury it. For it is dead and to deny that is to fly in the face of reality ... or at least as much of reality as any of US can reasonably be expected to recognize. It is dead, say I but yet it lives ... it lives in our hearts and in what passes for brains among us. It is fitting, I think, that Geeks is the one to have finally caused it's demise. He's not to be blamed of course, any more than you blame an innocent and ignorant child ... granted a particularly UGLY and Ill TEMPERED child ... for peeing on the carpet. And since it lives, let us make it live HERE as well. Let the grief pass and let the memory of the Mutha Beautiful Thread sustain us. And let the traditions engendered on that thread continue here. In view of that and with the sure and certain knowledge that the PENG THREAD WILL SURVIVE AND FLOURISH AGAIN, I offer the following in tribute:
The Peng Thread Is Dead ... Long Live The Peng Thread!
Joe
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I have determined, in my time on this board, that there are two kinds of people ... those who divide people into two kinds and those who don't ... but seriously ... there are those who believe that the purpose of the game and, by extension this board, is to accurately simulate the ground battles of the Western front in WW2 at a squad level and deduce therefrom the applicability of published tactics on the eventual outcome of the battles.
Then there are people like us 'poolers who are looking for a rattling good game and would prefer a dose of humor with our reality. Which is not to say, BTW, that we prize the accuracy and realism of CM any less, it's just that we tend to look at life through oversized yellow and green glasses with funny bunnies (or perhaps hamsters) on the frames which actually contain no lenses.
And just to maintain my reputation, here's another Mormon wife, no, don't thank me, it's the least I could do:
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>...or if Senility should just put the boot in the groin and before he does if he should spout off about 500 words on the niceties of putting the boot in ...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Only 500? Is he not feeling well then?
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>OK, maybe I'm walking right into this one, but it's early morning...where and at what point was the U.S. mainland occupied?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> First ... he said EUROPEAN, but to answer you question I guess it depends on your definition of "mainland". The Japanese attacked and occupied the Aleutian Islands which, as part of Alaska, were part of the U.S. ... kind of
Of course by that definition Great Britan had Singapore taken, and I seem to recall hearing something about a place called Stalingrad that was occupied and that I THOUGHT was in Russia. Now, of course, we hear the caveats and explanations {sigh}.JOe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>if the moderator's can allow the peng thread to continue..which imho is nothing more than "social democracy in action" ...with the emphasis on socialism...then who care's if this thread get's 500 replies.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Actually we're more of an anarcho-syndicalist commune.
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>The origin of "lock" came from the first matchlock and wheel lock muskets.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Yeeesss, that's correct but in the context of this thread I think the previous explanations of "locking" the bolt is more likely correct. However, the term "lock, stock and barrel" is taken from the original meaning of the term "lock" as in a fire, wheel, match, flint or caplock action.
Joe
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Two thoughts:
1. Did you start the PBEM game ALL OVER AGAIN? Or did you just try to run the same turns from the previously created game? The PBEM game, IIRC, has to be created in the same version.
2. Are you certain that the update "took" on both machines? Check the version number when the title page comes up to be sure.
Other than that I have no idea.
Joe
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Very nice work David, I too had reservations about the originals but I think the v1.01 faces look very much improved. I'm amazed that a 'pooler has that kind of talent ... actually ANY talent.
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Very nice work on the paper! I enjoyed reading it. Seems you guys are not as bad as you appear to be.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Thanks Lorak, I know how hard saying that must have been
pssst, we won't tell anyone in the 'pool 'cause they might think you're getting soft on 'em.Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>The German issue will be ready soon.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Yes ... just as the Victory Weapons would be ready "any day." I suppose that if you LIKE reading PROPAGANDA instead of hard hitting, insightful, and HONEST REPORTING you might want to look at THEIR issue ... if only for a laugh.
Joe
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I suspect the original hamster reference was derived from the line in "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" in which the French guard in the tower says "Your father was a hamster and your mother smelled of elderberries." It may have been the other way around
There were whole threads that "went Python" fairly quickly.After that came the SS thread and from there it "evolved" to chinchillas and various other rodents. Some efforts were made to bring critters from other than the Order Rodentia into the picture but they were roundly shouted down as being gamey and ahistorical.
Most of the learned scholars of hamster lore can now be found on the "Peng" thread.
Joe
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I have NEVER seen warping or "teleporting" other than sound contacts in any of my games. If yours is doing that, you have a problem and I'd guess it's a video card and/or driver issue. BTW I'm playing several people who have Macs and I have a PC so I don't think that's it either.
Joe
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Well done BTS, I'd say something like "You have chosen the best ..." but there's no need to be SILLY
Looking forward to many great things in the future, Congrats Matt and KD.
Joe
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Oh ... not much.
Welcome back Benny.
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Haiku Itchy has publicly stated that: Single-shot kills of Tiger IIs by Sherman 75s from 500m up hill are gamey.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Hey thanks Eathan, that does help narrow it down. Now just for further clarification and to get it straight in my feeble little mind, the other EIGHT Tiger IIs I killed with my teeny little Shermans would have been gamey because ....?
Joe
[This message has been edited by Joe Shaw (edited 09-21-2000).]
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This whole subject bothers me to no end. I know that issue of "cheating" vs. "gameyness" has been covered, but I don't think it's been covered well enough. Frankly, from the way MANY of the posts here and elsewhere sound, gameyness is equivilant to cheating! Now before someone jumps down my throat, I'm NOT saying that any of the posters have said that, but the implications are virtually the same. "If I see someone doing thus and so, I won't ever play them again." If, therefore, I chose to play someone and I do something that I find perfectly reasonable, they might choose not to play me again because they think it's gamey! Not a big deal really, except that in their next post to Jim Beam (I love playing Jim, he keeps making these dumb mistakes) they mention that Joe sure is a "gamey" player. Next thing you know my reputation (OK, work with me on this and pretend that I have one) is shot and I don't know why. And the really crummy thing about it is that there are so many different opinions and so many grey areas that you really CAN'T, IMHO, come up with a single solid definition of gameyness.
I've taken to adding a caveat about gameyness to my setups, asking what is and isn't kosher to my opponent. Then the problem becomes trying to keep track of all the opinions in all the games I'm playing. And with the advent of CMMC, in which winning a PBEM game will MATTER, the issue is going to be bigger and bigger.
I'm not proposing a solution because I don't have one, but I wonder if I'm just reading this wrong or if others have the same questions I do. For example, this thread has appeared to say that something is gamey for THREE different reasons at one point or another: (a) vehicles travel too fast to recon well (
telepathic communications don't happen and © the mission would be suicide and the troops wouldn't do it. Yet in EACH case, others have proposed situations in which each of those would have occurred in real life. I want to play the game as realistically as possible while still having fun at it. Maybe I'm just worrying too much about what others think but this is a community and what others think is an issue (the Cesspool excepted, of course). Any thoughts on this side of the topic?
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>No cesspoolers though, the quality of my last cess pooler opponent's play has made a marked decline since he started posting in that hive of filth.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> That would, I presume, be a backhanded, semi-sly Utah lawyer type slam at myself? That's it lad, my boys will stain the snow with your blood and the drawers of your hapless tankers with ... well, this IS a family thread.
BTW, it's not a HIVE clown, just because Utah has the beehive as it's state emblem doesn't mean that EVERY collection of individuals is a hive ... it's more like ... an anarcho-syndicalist commune. We take it in turns to act as a sort of executive officer for the week, but all the decisions of that officer have to be ratified at a special bi-weekly meeting by a simple majority in the case of purely internal affairs but by a two-thirds majority in the case of more major ... well you get the idea.
Joe
telepathic communications don't happen and © the mission would be suicide and the troops wouldn't do it. Yet in EACH case, others have proposed situations in which each of those would have occurred in real life.
Peng, I Am Still Taking Our Bloody Challenge Public
in Combat Mission Archive #2 (2000)
Posted
<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Is Chosroes II really Peng in a previous incarnation?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Well I didn't see any smilies so I guess it could be.
Joe