Joe Shaw
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Posts posted by Joe Shaw
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>For those ignorant gits who missed it, Hiram just made a Hendrix reference. (I love the word 'git').<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Yes ... but Jimi did it better. As to the "git" reference, I don't doubt that you love it ... must remind you of home, "Croda you ignorant git, pull the thumb out and roll another tourist, there's a lovely boy."
<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Shaw, you aren't fit to change Hiram's diaper. And funny about the commas...I'm usually accused of over-comma-ing when I rant.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Whew! Thank God for that, though from the scents wafting over from that direction it's about time again ... Yo! Blousehouse ... up for a bit of cleanup then? I'd like to apologize for the "comma" comment, it was uncalled for and showed ill will on my part ... I'd like to, but I won't.
<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>And as for the man with the only handle less imaginative than 'Joe Shaw':<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I could, I suppose, choose a handle like Great PooBah Of the Universe ... but I like my handle as it is ... pity you think so little of your name that you took the first opportunity to change it ... and to "Croda" ... what must it have been before?
Joe
edited to change BooPah to PooBah
[This message has been edited by Joe Shaw (edited 01-05-2001).]
[This message has been edited by Joe Shaw (edited 01-05-2001).]
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>I'm a big fag who never plays CM let
alone actually posts about games played. My
best friend is my dictionary. {purportedly written by} Joe
Hey Joe, where you going with that thesaurus in your hand? You play TCPIP yet? I'm looking for another TCPIP deflowering. I just hope you're no good so I can win. Mooo hahaha ha <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> And you were doing so well too. You had progressed from nicey-nice to a few (all too few but still some) well chosen taunts that showed some progress and then ... {sigh}.
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>The fact of the matter is that Hiram's Eagles postings and Joe Shaw's "Thank you for noticing me" are better than your posts.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> You DARE to equate ANY of my posts to the vapid posturings of that insignificant, mewling, "please Sir, may I have another" PUP Hiram? You sir are a bounder and a cad ... which, I suppose, is why you're here in the first place. I would explain the significance of the post to which you refer with emphasis on the clever literary techniques utilized (specifically irony and hyperbole), but you are incapable of understanding the literary significance of COMMAS so I shall not waste my time further.
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>... Look, Shaw, if you can't quote the Poet correctly, don't quote him at all. The actual quote is:
{snipped ... irrelevant}
Of course, if you had done a search ... {snipped ... trite} Mr. Shaw will just lose lots of armor in the snow.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>This is just ... wrong! On more levels than I like to count (and certainly on more levels than Eathanwhosenamesoundslikeasneeze (hereinafter referred to as EWNSLAS) CAN count) it's simply wrong.
1. I like MY version better.
2. I stated in the preamble to my post that I probably missed something trivial ... trust EWNSLAS (see above) to ignore that and try to make a Federal case out of it.
3. I should waste MY valuable time doing a search? Nonsense, in the first place it would have deprived EWNSLAS of the joy of posting the allegedly correct version (he gets so little joy we must do what we can to brighten his life). In the second place, I ask you, how many of you would looked to a post by EWNSLAS for the correct version of ANYTHING?
4. As to the status of our battle, it is true that there have been some minor setbacks on my right flank (his left flank), but he neglects to mention the OTHER flank in which my victorious Panzers are sweeping all before them and leaving the field littered with the burning hulks of his Shermans.
5. Despite that ... {gag} it's nice to see Eathan posting to the 'pool again ... as much as I hate to admit it.
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Sod that, they are too, Joe. Consider: upon receiving them, we do our bloody best to break them.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> You missed the whole point ... imagine our surprise. We break them emotionally and mentally, Mace BREAKS them. He's not trying to hurt them, but ... does the book "Of Mice and Men" have any meaning to you in this context?
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>And everyone forgets the subsequent Charge of the Heavy Brigade, which worked.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Actually the Charge of the Heavy Brigade PRECEDED the infamous Charge of the Light Brigade. It was, however, quite successful in very poor circumstances. They charged UPHILL, through a camp into a mass of Russian cavalry (regulars mind you, not cossacks) that had a head of steam already and numbers to boot.
As to Kipling, I always recall the one line (I've probably butchered it a bit): When you're wounded and lying on Afganistan's plains,
And the women come out with their knives and their pain,
Just roll to your rifle and blow out your brains,
And go to your death like a soldier.
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>A general with a pearl-handle revolver, give me a bloody break, for damnations feckin' sake.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> IVORY! They were IVORY handled revolvers you feckless Dutch idiot! (Yeah, I know you're German but the German immigrants to the U.S. in the mid 1800s were often called Dutchmen ... so there). As he (Patton, that is) says in the movie of the same name "Only a pimp in a New Orleans whorehouse carries pearl handled pistols." You are, however, quite correct in your analysis of Patton as a military commander ... why the Germans stopped him cold at ... uh ... I mean he obviously had no talent ... hmmm ... just look at his record it's ... just what ARE you on about Andreas?
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>I like this one, can we keep him? huh can we?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Now Mace, don't forget that you'll have to clean up after his messes, feed and water him, play with him EVERY DAY and bath him ... oh ... once a month or so (he's Air Force, that should improve his personal hygene by a large degree). We are NOT going to take over YOUR responsibility again and we are NOT going to explain to the police again if you break this one as you did the last one. 'Pool recruits are NOT toys.
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>I finally realized why my grammar sucked, I graduated from Kearns H.S. in SLC,UT. No wonder!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> No wonder indeed, most KHS grads top out at "Would you like fries with that?"
Joe
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Fellow 'poolers, let this be yet another example (Hiram would be the first) of the damage that can be done by trying to be polite within the confines of The One The True Cesspool. In my attempt to ease the poor chap into the modus operandi of the 'pool by pointing out (Hah! He called THAT an Attack!) the most obvious errors in his post, I apparently and unwitingly gave him the impression that his post was of 'pool quality! As to the content of his post ... I found nothing worthy of comment. He will, obviously, have to do FAR better to gain more attention from THIS group.
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>JOE SHAW: The most vile and hateful thought go in your direction. Only a twisted, sexual frustrated deviant, with a penchance for heinous dust bags would have ever started posting OLD MORMON WIFES. You foul, nasty man.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Hmmm, while it's always nice to see new blood in the 'pool, there are certain standards which must be maintained. And while I certainly don't want to get carried away with grammatical corrections (...let he among you who is without sin ... etc.), there are errors in the above which cry out to be rectified (sit down Blousehouse). See you, it should be "thoughts", "sexually" and "penchant." Beyond that ... thanks for noticing ... it's all I've ever asked.
And we are pleased that your first ever post should be here in the one, the true CessPool ... now go away and play with your jets.
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>With a name like "I/O error" your chances of getting anywhere near my "pants" are slim (pun intended) and none.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Each to their own of course, but I fail to see how this could be construed as offensive. After I/O Error made a comment (in slightly bad taste) about "getting in her pants", he should hardly be surprised to have Kitty respond as she did. Actually I thought it was pretty clever, but then I may have been in the CessPool too long
As to the original topic, not to worry Kitty, there are always fools out there and you know what they say ... "it's impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious."
Finally, I'll take you at your word that you are female and, lacking evidence to the contrary, that the photo on your site is actually you ... which makes me wonder what you are doing hanging around this bunch of losers (I include myself in that category, of course)
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Joe, Joe, Joe. Isn't this a case of the pot calling the kettle black. After all in the Mortgage Banking industry you have your equivalent "pads" ...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> They are NOT called "pads" ... actually we call them "junk fees", not that you'll ever see that on a closing statement. And I've never ONCE called you black ... or a kettle for that matter.
Joe
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oooOOOgah ... oooOOOgah ... oooOOOgah ... Attention ... attention Cesspoolers ...a little more bass please ... not TROUT damnit, bass. Hello! {pop} {pop} {pop} Is this thing on? Okay.
I regret to announce (not really, I've been giggling ever since I saw this but it SOUNDS better if I say I regret it) that JDjdJdjD (whatever) has ALREADY resorted to form and is attempting typical attorney tricks in our game only just begun! Many of you will undoubtedly be aware of the practice of attornies known as "billable hours" in which they charge their clients for every single second during which the case even pops into their mind! Some have even gone so far as to "pad" their hours with ficticious hours {gasp!}. So what, you ask? So this ... I sent sequential file #03 to JD ... I got back ... file #34! ... that's right, the swine (sit Down Blousehouse ... opps sorry, I meant Mace ... yeah, pretty much any semi large mammal will do for him) tried to skip through 30 turns! And this after I granted him the boon of lining up along the edge of the board like a flaming target gallery. And to think that I'd once considered Law School ... but they looked at my transcripts and saw that I'd taken an Ethics class so ...
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Plus having Shaw as a last name is just gamey. Try something spunky, like...Sedai.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> SPUNKY? Something SPUNKY? Ohmigawd I think I'm gonna puke. Looky here pal, with a first name like {gag} HIRAM {gaaaacckkkkk} ... I wouldn't be going around making fun of the names of others ... especially not others who are clearly older and wiser and who have names that are of distinquished Irish descent. As for SPUNKY ... that sounds like something that Andy Hardy would use. Say Gang, I know, we can put on a show! Then we can use the money to save Widow Johnson's home from the evil mortgage banker! That would be ... SPUNKY! Spunky ... sheesh!
Joe
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Hmmm, seems to be a bit of case confusion going on here. So tell us Mr. JayDee, Esq. is it JD or is it jd ????? Thought we wouldn't notice I suppose, but you can't put something like that over us ... well you probably could if it was Mace. Note, fellow 'poolers, that his sig is JD but his nick is jd !!!! Now I'm not a caseophobic but this kind of bicase nonsense has to stop ... MAKE UP YOUR MIND MAN! We won't think less of you ... trust me ... there's NO WAY we could think less of you.
Joe
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Eathanwhosenamesoundslikeasneeze: I'll be sending your turn when I get damned good and ready to send it. In the meantime I'm at work ... not to be confused with working, mind you. And in any case after your latest encounter with the Panther of Death I'd think you'd be dreading getting turns from me.
Joe
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I've nothing to say at this time ... thank you for your attention.
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>"Tell the Widow Jones that she has 2 days to pay the mortgage, plus accumulated interest, fees and costs or she'll be out on the street for Christmas"!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Nonsense, as an attorney you should be well aware that mortgage law requires a minimum of 3 months prior to the initiation of foreclosure proceedings ... mind you the rest is right.
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>MormonWivesboy and I have just started. Seems Herr Shaw is confident. He apparentely forgot to place his units, thus they are all still on the back map edge. Seems he has at least a platoon of Panthers....yet he wishes play to proceed.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> As if I had a choice ... consider my options if you please. I could have requested a restart, but Mr. JD Morse, Esq. (aka "didadadah dahdidit") would have certainly demanded a recount ... can any view current events and doubt this? And, being an attorney as he is, can any doubt that he would have heaped calumnies upon my head and called me unfair and even GAMEY! I think not. I, therefore, chose to take the high road and manfully play on in the spirit of sportsmanship and fair play. This despite the indisputable fact that my troops were lined up along the near edge in parade ground formation, no infantry embarked, no troops hidden, even my armor in plain sight for all to see (but Panthers? Perhaps ... and perhaps not.) But did I quail from this task? I did NOT. I instead resolved to fight it out and let the results fall where they may. Should I prevail in this unequal and inequitable struggle the glory will be all the greater. Should I fail, I shall fail through poor luck and circumstance and, as a result of the completely capricious nature of my placement, not a lack of tactical acumen on my part. In other words, I'll have been robbed. It's a plan.
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Now if you will excuse me, someone at work is in need of my greatness.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Yes, well when the toilets get plugged, they get plugged and who better than a Cesspooler to fix it!Who ya gonna call ... Clogbusters! You go girl.
Joe
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Happy New Year! ... except to the Dwellers Of The 'Pool of course ... I'd suggest that you rot in hell ... but you're already in the 'pool and from the smell you're working on the first part.
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>We'll I'll just have to step in and do something about it!!!! BUMP<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
Well Jim, Mace just stepped right up and Bumped the pool back to it's rightful place. Well done would you say?
Not bad Nigel, not bad, mind you the style was a bit lacking and I saw NO evidence of panache at all.
No, I would agree. Now of course we'll have to see what the judges give him, looks as if they're about ready to call it.
OH MY NO! Will you look at that Nigel, all 6's and 7's EXCEPT for the Australian judge who gave him a 9.5!
Absolutely shameful Jim, of course the Aussie judge seems a bit in the bag to me.
Couldn't have anything to do with the ten empty Foster's under the table, do ya suppose Nigel?
Nor the sheep I saw Mace leading in earlier. It's a bit of a travesty all right.
Ah well, join us next week folks for another great comptetition of "Bump In The Night."
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Next create an equal American force. (Same numbers of infantry, tanks, etc...)<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> The point GI Tom was trying to make (not to be confused with the point on top of his head, but that's another story) is that the NUMBER of units can't be compared. Each unit is priced according to it's capabilities, that's why an Elite squad will cost more than a Green squad or a Panther more than a Sherman. Therefore if you buy 2000 points of Panthers you'll be able to buy MORE Shermans with the same 2000 points. It may be (I'm too lazy to check) that US squads cost more than German squads, but if so it's because the US squad is MORE CAPABLE than the German squad and should cost more. Without trying to be insulting (a hard thing for a Cesspooler to do) I'd tend to agree that you had a couple of bad experiences and are making unsubstantiated generalizations.
Joe
THE BLOODY PENG CHALLENGE THREAD: ESCAPE FROM DOWNUNDER
in Combat Mission Archive #2 (2000)
Posted
<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>...for purposes of research leading to the hotly anticipated Historically Accurate Blood And Gore Engine...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Can we, for Pete's sake (we all know how sensitive Pete is), drop the 2000 US Election? Bush won, Gore lost and lets just all move on. I do think, however, that referring to our new President as "Blood" is a bit much.
Joe