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Joe Shaw

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Posts posted by Joe Shaw

    THE BLOODY PENG CHALLENGE THREAD: ESCAPE FROM DOWNUNDER

    in Combat Mission Archive #2 (2000)

    Posted

    Babra you fool! Don't you know the forces with which you're dealing? I'd hoped that it was clear from the posts of Senility and myself that photos of Mormon Wives are NOT TO BE TRIFLED WITH! I fear it may already be too late, your untrained attempts may have already doomed you, the effects are far from subtle and may have already manifested themselves.

    1. Vision - Have you been seeing lots of colored, twinkling lights in your vision recently ... say for the last month or so?

    2. Hearing - Do you hear a persistent and rhythmic ringing sound whenever you enter a grocery store?

    3. Behavior - Have you found that you have engaged in uncontrollable buying recently ... and worse yet buying for others?

    4. Digestion - Have you, within the past two weeks, ever had an occassion where you felt uncomfortably full after a meal?

    If you answer YES to these questions then you are already be in the later stages of Mormon Wife Poisoning! If so, there is no cure and you might as well shoot yourself now ... oh ... Happy New Year if you make it that far.

    Joe

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    THE BLOODY PENG CHALLENGE THREAD: ESCAPE FROM DOWNUNDER

    in Combat Mission Archive #2 (2000)

    Posted

    Hiram you misbegotten little slime, I remember when you whined and begged your way into the 'pool with your nicey-nice and hand wringing ways so don't get uppity with me Kids these days ... young whippersnappers ... (sit down Blousehouse). And I'd be looking at my OWN posts for spelling and UBB errors before I criticize my betters were I you ... {shudder}, there's an ugly thought.

    JD, what are ya gonna do ... file suit? But fine, I find that I have a bit more time on my hands now ... stand by one ... Ughhh, urhhhhh, ahhhhgggg ... there ... I now have one hand tied behind my back so it should be a fair fight ... Opps sorry, forgot I was talking to a lawyer. See a fair fight is one in which ... never mind, it would be like trying to explain black holes (in an astronomical sense) to the Spanish Inquisition NO ONE EXPECTS the Spanish ... STOP THAT!

    Where was I ... right. How about a small to medium QB of your choice? Need I mention that I EXPECT NO ONE EXPECTS ... I SAID Stop that nonsense right now, it's silly. Anyway I will want a JPG of the setup screen so that you don't FORGET to mention that it's heavily wooded, dense fog with rain and you have all infantry while I get armor ... not that YOU'D do that of course.

    In short ... HAVE AT YOU SIR!

    Joe

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    THE BLOODY PENG CHALLENGE THREAD: ESCAPE FROM DOWNUNDER

    in Combat Mission Archive #2 (2000)

    Posted

    I'm certainly not of a mind to defend Pilloried at this point (newbie scum that he is), and this post should not be taken as evidence of such defense.

    <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>I feel so cheap, dirty and used.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> YOU'RE A LAWYER! YOU'RE USED TO IT!

    Joe (yeah I edited it, wanna make something of it?)

    [This message has been edited by Joe Shaw (edited 12-28-2000).]

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    THE BLOODY PENG CHALLENGE THREAD: ESCAPE FROM DOWNUNDER

    in Combat Mission Archive #2 (2000)

    Posted

    ooOOOOgah, ooOOOOgah, ooOOOOgah Attention, attention all 'poolers {SSQQUEEEEAAAAALLLLLLLL!} opps, sorry 'bout the feedback there. I have taken the liberty of installing this public address system for important announcements ... i.e. announcements from ME! I ... uh ... borrowed the horn from an old Gato class sub, they'll never miss it, I mean how often do they have to dive NOW? Where was I? Oh yeah, I have the following report:

    Eathanwhosenamesoundslikeasneeze hasn't bothered to reply to two emails asking the status of our game ... I can only assume that he has seen the writing on the wall (you know the writing I mean, over by Hiram, that starts with "There once was a 'pooler, Andreas ... who was damp clear up to his ...") and decided that ignoring me and coming up with some cock and bull (Sit DOWN Blousehouse) story about email problems was the better part of valor. I therefore claim a full and complete victory!

    Maced is, unfathomably, doing rather well in our game ... I attribute that to his excessive consumption (even by HIS standards) of Holiday Cheer (though why anyone would choose to drink Cheer is beyond me ... I can see Rinse Away of course but Cheer is nasty with all those little green crystals). Nonetheless, I predict that the forces of good (ME) will prevail ... and if they don't I'll find some excuse for losing as I always do.

    Lorak you ARE well and truly LOATHED ... of course I speak only for myself ... and everyone else that I know, but I want to double check that you got the tie between Andreas and myself on the books ... I could check the page of course, but I'm too lazy to check and after all, what else could you possibly have to do?

    As to the rest of you, I was terribly disappointed at your lack of ability in the life saving drill yesterday. Poor Senility nearly drowned and it was all Berli's fault. ONE MORE TIME ... it's "Throw Him a Rope!" Berli, tossing Hiram at him did NO good at all, remember ... "ROPE ... not Dope." Of course he wasn't the only one to misunderstand, Peng, if you have enough dope to toss around like that perhaps you have enough to share with the rest of the group?

    Joe

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    THE BLOODY PENG CHALLENGE THREAD: ESCAPE FROM DOWNUNDER

    in Combat Mission Archive #2 (2000)

    Posted

    I have a few issues ... but my lifetime subscription to Rubber Suit and Whip magazine has expired so I decided to post here in lieu of reading old issues.

    I have neglected to respond to the idiot (I've forgotten who exactly, I realize that the description I just used could be applied to virtually ANY of you) who had the nerve to post a bogus Mormon Wife. I, of course, took exception immediately, Senility correctly ruled <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>...Joe has the right of it...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> at which this idiot (see above) made the ludicrous claim that he was talking about ... wait for it now ... Future Mormon Wives and was thus exempt from the prohibition! This is so obviously fallacious that I hardly need to delineate the error, but since Andreas reads the board from time to time I will state that a FUTURE WIFE (of any stripe) is, in point of fact, an oxymoron! Not as bad as Geeks (welcome back mate) or Maced mind you but still an oxymoron. Perhaps if we had less methane and more oxygen down here we wouldn't have so many morons but there you have it, we must play the hand we're dealt ... no Bloushouse not THAT kind of playing with your hand.

    I promised an AAR on the epic battle in the night between ShermanToy and myself but after a gripping (sit DOWN Bloushouse) and dramatic start, to wit: "It was a dark and stormy night ...", I realized that the bulk of the AAR would consist of variations on the basic theme of RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY! on both sides. This was due to the setup created by himself (Andreas that is) in which we both had Green troops and the LOS was a total of 32 meters! The tactical acumen displayed by both sides was therefore pretty much limited to creeping around until we touched, almost literally, the enemy at which point both sides would go into panic mode and run away. It was, in short, a draw ... which is better than our previous game which resulted in losses for MOI!

    Finally, may I offer my Seasons Greetings to one and all and may I also congratulate Lorak on his seasonal decorations here in the 'pool. I'm especially impressed by the mistletoe garlands (and, I must admit, somewhat disturbed at the same time) on the walls ... odd looking mistletoe though ... hmmm, perhaps if I get closer ... it's green after all, with little red things ... OHMIGOD {gack} IT'S NOT MISTLETOE IT'S ... {gaaacckkk} IT'S ... {GAAAAACCCCCCKKK}...

    Joe

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    THE BLOODY PENG CHALLENGE THREAD: ESCAPE FROM DOWNUNDER

    in Combat Mission Archive #2 (2000)

    Posted

    <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>I must getting acclimatized to those vile mormon wives, that last one I actually caught myself thinking that it wasn't bad looking....<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Vile blasphemer! Heretic! Pornographer ... no wait, that's different. How dare you suggest that any REAL Mormon Wife would stoop (sit DOWN Bloushouse!) to being used as the object of your carnal desires (STOP THAT Blousehouse, geeze, get a room).

    Joe

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    THE BLOODY PENG CHALLENGE THREAD: ESCAPE FROM DOWNUNDER

    in Combat Mission Archive #2 (2000)

    Posted

    BAH! No sooner did I open this, the latest incarnation of the one, the true CessPool than I saw the ... the ... {splutter} the infamy of that PRETENDER who dared to post an AMATEUR MORMON WIFE! Why the damn thing was in color! And he dares to claim it as a true Mormon wife! And he not even a bloody squire to this the one, the true CessPool! Is this blasphemy to be borne by the Knights of the 'Pool! I ask all TRUE KNIGHTS OF THE ONE THE TRUE CESSPOOL (yes even Andreas) to stand with me and MOCK him for his insolence!

    MOCK ... MOCK ... MOCK ... MOCK

    I'm sorry my friends (and Andreas) but I had no choice, it was HIS Act of irresponsibility that forced my hand and on his head be it ... not my hand, the blame.

    As to the suggestion of Eathanwhosenamesoundslikeasneeze that I am somehow ducking his game (sit DOWN Blousehouse, not THAT kind of duck) ... I SENT Turn 14 on Dec. 8th ... I shall resend it since you were likely under the influence of plastic adhesives ... AGAIN ... when it first arrived.

    Finally ... the game between myself and ShermanToy resulted in ... a draw, which is better than a loss. A full and formal AAR on the battle will be forthcoming (sit DOWN Blousehouse ... oh never mind.)

    Joe

    opps, nearly forgot ...

    AAYOUNG.JPG

    NowTHAT by God, is a Mormon wife!

    Joe

    Edited because I damned well felt like it.

    [This message has been edited by Joe Shaw (edited 12-19-2000).]

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    TAKING THE BLOODY PENG THREAD DOWNUNDER

    in Combat Mission Archive #2 (2000)

    Posted

    Hmmm, says I to myself ... well actually I hummed it to myself as I rarely actually SAY "Hmmm", the Peng Thread has fallen on sad times when the likes of {shudder}M. Bates are posting regularly. What, I conjectured, can have been the cause of this lamentable decline? Using the skills conferred upon me during my time as a University debater I analyzed the situation and determined the following:

    1) The decline coincided with my absence from the 'pool due to personal issues.

    2) There was no need to search for #2 as #1 would clearly be a defining cause.

    That being the case, I hypothesized as to the relationship between my absence and decline of quality. The likely culprits were:

    1) I myself wasn't there to tend to the rudder of the thread and it thus lost it's way. While I have a cold and calculating self appraisal of my own genius, this seemed unlikely as many of the readers and even contributors to the thread were and are clearly incapable of deciphering words in excess of two syllables, therefore it had to be something more than just my presence.

    2) I presumed that there was something about my presence that acted as spur for the more gifted and deterrent for the hordes of wannabes and other "special" readers of the thread (if you get my drift).

    3) While that something might have been the peerless quality of my taunting, I refer gentle reader to my first point of analysis and reiterate that many of those who would be affected more commonly resort to reading material with large drawings of various super heroes accompanied by bubbles of succinct text (i.e. "You'll never take over the world dressed in that pink tu-tu Mister Mucus ... or my name isn't BITE ME BOY!"

    3) Therefore, and by process of elimination, it had to be something that had been rare in most of my postings but still something that packed a punch, as it were. And then it hit me ... see, I said it packed a punch!

    I hereby apologize to the denizens of the 'pool for my lack of foresight and neglect of my pest deterrent function here in the One the True CessPool. For if I had been attending to my duties none of the riffraff we see recently would have dared show their pinched and evil little faces here.

    I hereby do what I can to make amends for my neglect and pray your forgiveness:

    .

    .

    .

    .

    .

    .

    .

    .

    .

    .

    .

    AAYOUNG.JPG

    Nothing like a Mormon Wife to keep the rabble out, I always say.

    Joe

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    TAKING THE BLOODY PENG THREAD DOWNUNDER

    in Combat Mission Archive #2 (2000)

    Posted

    <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>To all those of you not even implicitly mentioned here: that was because you are boring. Go away and volunteer at Mother Teresa's. Except Joe.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Now see, I'm confused again. Does that mean that I'm not boring (I'm not of course, but I'm inquiring as to your opinion ... not that it matters) or that I shouldn't volunteer (I won't of course, if I want to see grubby, ill fed and poorly clothed urchins I'll just lift my eyes from my monitor and toss a crust of bread to my kids.)

    Joe

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    Peng, I Am Still Taking Our Bloody Challenge Public

    in Combat Mission Archive #2 (2000)

    Posted

    LORAK! Wake Up Damnit!

    <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>And I quote from an email received by yours truly from one ... hang on ... hmmm ... Jeff Shandorf it would seem: Joe, I was wondering.. Since it was you that told Lorak to scribe my name into the Pool records as a squire I was just wondering then if you are my sponser? If so and will could you be so kind as to just pop by the pool and make

    mention to that fact. I would appreciate it.

    From your humble possible squire,

    shandorf<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    And my reply was: Hmmm, I was probably on drugs that day ... either that or Lorak hasn't gotten OFF his drugs yet, pretty much your choice actually. In any case, I would be happy to mention the fact and we can but hope that he's semi-lucid at the time. As to your sponsorship I must decline I'm afraid. My personal situation is uncertain right now and I wouldn't be able to give you the guidance you deserve and ... trust me ... NEED. I'm quite certain we can find some deluded soul to accept you ... all of which begs the question of why YOU want to be in the pool, talk about your deluded souls ... DELUDED, Blousehouse, Deluded! Not Denuded, sit down damnit.

    Therefore, I repeat: LORAK! Wake Up Damnit!

    Joe

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    Peng, I Am Still Taking Our Bloody Challenge Public

    in Combat Mission Archive #2 (2000)

    Posted

    Update ... regretably my friends (and Andreas) things have not been going well at Casa Shaw and posting to the 'pool hasn't been much of a priority lately. And I'm afraid that no real improvement will be forthcoming anytime soon. In the meantime I'm trying to clear up the 'pool games so my buddies can get on with things. In view of that, I offer my congratulations to Mark IV for his win against me in a tough and well played game. Have fun guys, I'll try to drop by again if things improve, but it takes a certain mindset to get "into" the 'pool and sometimes that just isn't possible.

    Joe

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    Peng, I Am Still Taking Our Bloody Challenge Public

    in Combat Mission Archive #2 (2000)

    Posted

    Joe scrolled down the posts on page 48 of The One, The Only, The Peng Thread, his confident, sure touch on the mouse directing the cursor to it's appointed place on the page. His high, noble forehead (a sign of intelligence, to be sure) creased momentarily and then smoothed as he chuckled ... not at the comments of course, but at the thought that NOW, at last, Senility's simple, uncomplicated world was a bit brighter as he (Senility that is) was relieved of his anxiety that he (Shaw in this case) had gone forever. Joe's brow furrowed again as he attempted to decypher the convoluted prose created by his (Senility again) drug addled organ that passed for a brain when he (yup, Senility) wrote: <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Yes, but it wasn't satisfying. It wasn't verbose, it wasn't tedious, it simply wasn't... Shaw!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>Quite so, I trust this massive missive will quench your thirst. I exist, after all, to serve. <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>I would serve as a character witness, ...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>Oh my, no, no, uh I mean, thanks ever so much but my current difficulties don't require a character witness such as yourself. Right lads, Cell 14, lower dungeon, in chains and toss the key. <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>{snip} Hell, even my present wouldn't pass muster in any nation where I couldn't rely on clandestine

    understandings with 'Corrupt Governmental / Military Officials' who want to keep certain things off the public record.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Not to worry, public opinion is starting to shift to an understanding that what happens between a man such as yourself and an adult, consenting sheep is a mental and moral question and not one for legal action. <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Well, that's a bloody relief. I thought we might have to round-up one of the most verbal and chemically dependent of the Newbies as a

    replacement, and tell him that Master says his name is gonna be Joe Shaw from now on, and he's going to have to work in the Big House.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>A replacement? Surely a pale and unsatisfying imitation my good man ... much like your role, not to put too fine a point on it. <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Mace and I are presently in a PBEM, Shaw, so do me a favour and dig a heel into a kidney so as to cripple.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> What? He is MACE, he's crippled just by that. <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Splashing? You vulgarian. My appreciation of the Bodhran sometimes makes me get a little syncopated, but I never splash.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Ah, I must then have mistaken the wavelets created by ... whatever it is you ARE doing under the surface there to be splashing. My mistake ... I say Mace, perhaps we should shift our position a few meters further UPSTREAM! <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>You have me there, Squire.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I will give you the benefit of the doubt and presume that you are using the term {shudder} Squire in the generic sense and not in the 'pool sense. Else I would be forced to take offense and instruct Mace to beat you like a drum instead of giving you the victory as befits a Squire vs. Knight conflict. <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Brrrr. Took away my will to touch meself, they did, and it takes a lot to achieve that.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Hmmmm, yes I suppose the sheep isn't always reliable ... by the way, be sure to practice safe sex ... tag the ones that kick. <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>When yer case comes up, try for a change of venue out of state. No sane populace would find you guilty.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>Well, that would pretty much rule out Minnesota then.

    Joe

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    Peng, I Am Still Taking Our Bloody Challenge Public

    in Combat Mission Archive #2 (2000)

    Posted

    <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Senility (apt name if ever there was one) queried: Also, where is Shaw? Is he still maintaining this fiction that he's

    having some kind of ISP problem, or is he going to get access to the Correctional Institute's public internet connection long enough to admit that the state of Utah has had him jailed for defaming Brigham Young's wives?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> You cretin (sit DOWN Blousehouse, not you ... well, not this time anyway) Senility. I have responded to your first mewl of abandonment already but I'm sure that it passed you by since it didn't directly follow your question and you doubtless forgot that you had asked by the time it showed up. I have found myself in the midst of "issues" that have reduced the time allowed to respond to email turns (an evil) and the time to respond to this thread (a catastrophe). Rest assured however, faux Irishman that you are, that I have not forgotten the denizens of this, the 'pool, the Peng Thread in all it's ... well anyway it's the Peng Thread. I have not abandoned my fellow Knights of the Pool ... the Squires are, of course, beneath my notice save for Mace who is actually beneath my feet thus allowing me to dry my boots. Quit complaining Mace and stop that damn spluttering, just lift your head a bit higher and you'll have your nose at least above the waves ... unless Senility starts splashing again.

    As for Brigham Young's wives ... you've seen the photos ... how could I possibly be accused of defaming them? As Harry Truman once said, "I don't give 'em hell, I just tell the truth on them and that makes them feel like they're in hell."

    Joe

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    Peng, I Am Still Taking Our Bloody Challenge Public

    in Combat Mission Archive #2 (2000)

    Posted

    <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>On that other note about roadkill ...Shaw? Shaw?! Good, Christ, has anyone else seen Shaw?!!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Still here squire, just got temporarily misplaced in one of the corners whilst trying to "push a lead" (Caving/Spelunking term, not to worry) that opened. Should have known better, forgot the old caving maxim "if it blows, it goes" ... not THAT kind of blows BlouseHouse, sit down. In any case I'm having some "issues" that prevent me from getting to my turns or posting here as frequently as I might like, so ... carry on ... and if you see a pair of boots sticking out of a hole in the wall, pull me out please, I tend to push tight squeezes (see above) more than I should and have been known to get stuck ... there's a good chap.

    Joe

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    Peng, I Am Still Taking Our Bloody Challenge Public

    in Combat Mission Archive #2 (2000)

    Posted

    <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>And I quote LowRack:Why Thank you Joe Shaw. Glad I could make you internet

    viewing nicer. I didn't take into account those that sill use flat rocks as PC's.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Quite right, I'm using the Pentlandite III (450 megachips) with a USB (Under Shrew Butt) interface. The shrew essentially has the USB cord ... uh ... inserted and the signals from the processor ... encourage the shrew to use the microchisel and digihammer to create the display. I decided not to overclock the shrew as the smell was a bit overpowering after a couple of hours and they REALLY got testy. Some have suggested using SLI mode (Shrews Locked In-tandem) in which TWO Shrews are used in tandem to speed up the refresh rate, but I walked away from the computer without shutting the monitor down and when I returned a couple of weeks later I had more damn Shrews than I knew what to do with.

    Joe

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    Peng, I Am Still Taking Our Bloody Challenge Public

    in Combat Mission Archive #2 (2000)

    Posted

    <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>How does one get a swim pass to this fetid pool of slime and goo? There must be some lackey pool boy that can point me the way.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> YO! Lorak! We got a squire wannabe here, I don't think much of his chances frankly (may I call you Frank?) but he DID ask for the lackey pool boy and of course I thought of you immediately. I didn't get his brick size ... sorry.

    Joe

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    Peng, I Am Still Taking Our Bloody Challenge Public

    in Combat Mission Archive #2 (2000)

    Posted

    <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Seeing as you've got to be the bottom rung on the ladder of Cesspool ability (both tauntingly and tactically)<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> How would you know? From what I've seen so far all you can do is TALK! And talk and talk and talk and talk. You apparently need four full pages of back and forth drivel just to arrange a simple setup. The 'pool, my dear SQUIRE, is for MEN ... men of substance (except for Mace), men of character (except for Mace) and men of discernment (except ... you get the idea). It's not the quantity of posts, but rather the quality that counts. And had you perused the thread prior to it's self immolation you'd be overcome with remorse at your suggestion that my posts were either quantitatively or qualitatively less than worthy. You, newcomer that you are, are not worthy to lick the slime from the wall upon which the shadow of even a creature such as Geeks has fallen. A little respect for your betters is called for, though likely not to be forthcoming as you are too addlepated to understand the concept ... kids these days.

    As to the mewling cry for a game that issued from some insect who isn't even a squire ... in your dreams lad, in your dreams.

    Joe

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    Peng, I Am Still Taking Our Bloody Challenge Public

    in Combat Mission Archive #2 (2000)

    Posted

    <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Some insignificant entity who isn't even A SQUIRE has invaded our sanctuary and squeaked:Don't mind me I just here to kick some cesspool water in Crud-da's face.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Oh we don't mind you, save that you take up space that could be more usefully appropriated as ... well empty space would be better come to think of it. Regarding your match with the nearly as insignificant but at least a squire Coda, I think I speak for the entire 'pool when I say ... WOULD YOU GET ON WITH IT! At some point, surely, a game will actually be played in which the relative merits, or more likely the lack thereof, of the two antagonists can be determined. In the meantime, Either FIGHT or SHUT UP!

    Joe

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    Off Topic US Civil War Item.

    in Combat Mission Archive #2 (2000)

    Posted

    Thanks for the information, aside from the somewhat overpowering tone of the report it was very interesting and answered some questions that I had. From an historical standpoint the Hunley should offer a priceless store of data. From an emotional standpoint, it's good to see the submariners brought home. Regardless of the cause for which they fought, theirs was a brave act deserving of our respect.

    Joe

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    Peng, I Am Still Taking Our Bloody Challenge Public

    in Combat Mission Archive #2 (2000)

    Posted

    Who is Dr. Alimentary and why should we care?

    From Where, oh where have all these fresh new faces sprung? Since this IS the new and improved Cesspool, one shudders to ask but still ...

    LORAK! Thank you so VERY much for realizing that (a) others may be using browsers other than yours, (B) others may have screen resolutions other than yours and © your view of the internet world is warped due to the red and blue 3D glasses you refuse to take off since your viewing of "Steamy Stewardesses in 3D" while still in High School. It is easier to read the alleged page of yours now. HOWEVER ... I explicitly {Sit DOWN Blousehouse, not THAT kind of explicit} stated that my record against 'poolers was 1/0/2. Would you like an email to that effect? Shall I send a registered letter via Fed Ex? Would a personal visit from my associate, Guido, be in order? Shake the man's hand, Guido ... GENTLY GUIDO! It is SO hard to find good help these days, look at what the employers of Andreas had to settle for! Where was I? Oh yes, my record ... ONE MORE TIME 1/0/2 ... GOT IT? If it weren't for the fact that we didn't hire you I'd suggest that we fire you. As it is I suppose we are getting what we paid for. As you are a volunteer I would normally be far more polite in asking for changes but as this is the Cesspool it would be inappropriate to be polite.

    My current games against the 'pool:

    MarkXForSignature has gone on hiatus and by the time he returns I probably won't remember what SIDE I'm on let alone what the setup is.

    LowerGI Tom is reluctantly pulling back from my ... onslaught isn't quite right, that sounds like I have a force ... advance can't be used to describe my lads tip toeing further into the woods ... movement? Yes, close enough I suppose. I DO now have a VL however, one out of four isn't too bad ... IS IT? Soon enough this disaster will be over.

    Eathanwhosenamesoundslikeasneeze is inordinately proud of having killed a tank or two ... Eathan ... it's an attack scenario, you're supposed to have the advantage in position and surprise ... I have the advantage in ... NUMBERS ... and tactical expertise of course.

    Geeks ... is dead! Did I mention that I defeated him? In any case he's a filthy splitter and is to be reviled until his reunification with The One The True CessPool.

    GerminatingBoy is still throwing large exploding objects onto my position in hopes of dislodging something ... anything. The visibility is a good 30 meters so he's basically lobbing them into the air and hoping they hit something. However with a turn limit of 30 turns his original plan of having my lads die OF OLD AGE is not going to work so he may have to actually ... I don't know ... ATTACK?

    Mace and I are just starting but so far his playing abilities are no more advanced than his writing ability. And if you've read The Forward Observer ... and who hasn't ... you'll see that he's pretty limited there as well.

    Have I missed anyone? Not you Peng, anyone IMPORTANT? Right, I'm off ...

    Joe

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